Two worlds
by Ms Marvel Dixon
Summary: My name is Clara. My father was killed by a demon and now I guess Im a hunter. The only family I have now are, Dean, Sam, And Bobby. They taught me everything I know. But when I decide to retire my rock salt shot gun for a government badge how am I supposed to keep my worlds apart? Especially with my new team looking into a case that could expose everything. I'll figure it out...
1. Hunters?

HI! So I have fallen in love with Supernatural! Only took me the first episode to fall hard xD... Anyways this is a corss between Supernatural and Criminal Minds... only it takes a while to get to the FBI :) I would love to hear your comments on my story... so please review!

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My name is Clara Shaw, and honestly I don't expect you care or actually read my story but I can't not tell anyone. You know those stories about people having two different lives, and then one day they just suddenly clash? Well, this is kinda of one of those stories only I can bet you, you have never heard one like his before.

I guess I should start from the beginning. When I was growing up I had a somewhat normal life. My mother died in the delivery room, and my brother died shortly after begin born. We were supposed to be twins but I guess not everything goes the way it is supposed to. My dad was the only family I had. He was kind, loving but he kind of fell off the wagon when I turned 13. He had raised me all alone and when I started gaining my independence he just couldn't handle being alone sometimes. He would drink so much and I would find him passed out on the lawn.

I begged him to stop, and he would but it only took a few weeks before he would come home smelling like booze, cheap women and smoke. Growing up in a small town like Lawrence had its advantages, like everyone on the block knew each other, which was also a disadvantage. You see my dad was a stand up member of the community until he started drinking. I was the girl with a drunk for a father and the girl who didn't talk to anyone.

Listen to me complaining, my childhood wasn't that bad. My dad did teach me a lot of things; how to take care of myself, how to cook, how to sow, and the thing I find most important, my dad tough me the world isn't all roses and trust is something you need to build and earn.

Now in small towns word travels fast and when I turned 14, people began to talk. I ignored all they had to say because I just didn't care. I was smart, I got straight A's, and just because I didn't make friends didn't mean that other kids were better than me. Sure kids could be cruel and I would be lying if I said I never came home with tears in my eyes and a black eye but it never bothered me all that much.

On my 16th birthday is when everything began to change. My dad would stay out longer and sometimes he wouldn't come home for days. I began to wonder why he would be gone for so long. Sure I asked countless time but I never got a real answer.

" Clara!" My dad banged on my door at 7 in the morning. " Come on wake up!" He yelled. It was saturday, why did I have to wake up?

" What?" I said as I opened the door.

" Come on get dressed we have to go." he said. I stood there confused as my dad had the most panicked look on his face. I didn't waste time and just did as I was told. I threw my dark hair into a ponytail and grabbed my jeans an a sweater. As I left my room I saw my dad standing at the door with two bags. I was confused so I rushed down the stairs.

" What's going on?" I asked my dad. He didn't answer. He was just staring at the sky. It was dark and cloudy. He looked as if he was shaking.

" Do you remember when you were about 6?" He asked. " You got really sick and we spent most of that year in the hospital?" he asked.

" Yeah? kinda the worse year ever." I giggled a bit.

" You were so sick and..." He paused. Then he turned and he had tears in his eyes as he quickly hugged me. I could feel the tears splash on my neck as he squeezed me tightly.

" Dad? What's wrong?" She asked.

" David?" A low voice asked from the door. He had said my father's name in a somber tone which worried me.

"John." my dad stood quickly and shook the man's hand. " Thank you for this. I owe you one." My dad said as John put a hand on his shoulder.

"We have to go soon." John said. My dad nodded to him and he walked back to a car on the street. I watched as the strange man stood leaning on the hood with two others. Just boys. One looked around my age and the other a few years older. The three said nothing.

" Dad?" I asked.

" Listen to me very carefully." He grabbed my shoulders. " I need you to be strong okay?" He asked and my eyes grew in pain as I saw the fear in his. " John is a good friend of mine and he is going to fill you in on everything. And most of it is going to sound crazy, but trust me honey everything he says is the truth." He said quickly as he reached into his pocket. He took out a gold chain with a star at the end. " This was your mother's, she was going to give it to you on your first birthday but before she died she told me to wait until you needed it." He said locking it around my neck.

I had no idea what was going on. I watched my dad take the two bags to John who gave them to the younger boy. He sighed as he put it in the truck. I stood alone in my house. Then just as my dad was about to come back the door slammed and the lights began to flicker. Then a strong wind came and blew me right off my feet. I tumbled into the wall as I begun to hear voices. They were laughing, and calling my dad's name along with mine.

" Dad!" I called out in confusion and just as I did the door came down and my dad rushed to me. He picked me up and shoved me behind him.

" Alright. I get it time's up." My dad yelled to no one. Then just as he began to push me out of the house the sound of dogs came from the kitchen. Not just any dogs, angry and big dogs. My dad narrowed his eyes. " John get her out of here now!" He ordered and I felt two large hands grab me by the shoulders and drag me out of the house.

" What are you doing! Let me go. Dad!" I fought against John's grip. Then I stopped in my tracks as my father's eyes met mine. He looked at peace and not scared. Then it was all gone with one painful scream. Blood splattered the walls, and my dad began to scream even more. It looked like he was being ripped apart. I couldn't move. My eyes couldn't look away. Then suddenly my whole world felt like it just collapsed and then so did I. My eyes rolled back into my head and I fell to the ground. " What's happening?" I asked myself then my mind went dark.

" Clara?" I heard my name being called. I slowly opened my eyes and found I was no longer in my front yard. " Clara?" The voice came again. My eyes shot opened and I sat up quickly. I rushed to the corner of the bed away from the man sitting at the edge.

" Who are you? Where am I? What just happened?" I asked all in one breath.

The man's face fell a bit. " My name is John, John Winchester. I am a friend of your dads." he said as he hung me head.

" Where is he?" I demanded as I pushed off the bed. The bed was now separating me and John.

" Look Clara, This is going to be hard to hear. I'm really sorry but your father is gone." he said standing up.

I shook my head. " No that's not true. Where is my father." I said narrowing my eyes at him. John just shook his head and then it came back to me. All that I had just seen. My dad being ripped to shreds and dog howls. " He's... He's dead?" I asked.

" I am so sorry." John said.

I looked down and I couldn't breathe. I clutched my stomach and heart. Then my head shot up. "Where am I?" I asked.

" You're in a friend of mine's house." He said. " Now I really need to talk to you about all that has happened." he said.

" Why did you bring me here?"

" Because your father asked me to."

" Wait! You knew he was going to die?" I asked with anger in my eyes.

" Yes." John said as he straightened his back.

" Why didn't you help him!" I yelled.

" I couldn't." John snapped back quickly. " Look there are things you don't understand." he started.

" Oh no I understand. Whatever just happened my dad is dead because you didn't help him!" I yelled back.

" No, Clara listen to me!" John spoke loudly and in an angry tone. " You father is dead because he made a deal with a demon." He said flatly. I couldn't help but laugh. That was ridiculous. " I am not joking." he said and the way he spoke made me believe him. " Your father made a deal to sell his soul to save you." He said.

" What?" I asked almost out of breath.

" When you were six you got really sick. He told me that you were days away from dying. So he summoned a cross roads demon and made a deal, he gave up his soul so you could be healthy." John said. I said nothing. " All those things that people say aren't real, like ghosts, vampires, or the things that go bump in the night are real." John said.

" okay! Well if you will excuse me you need to get back to the mental ward and I have a father to bury." I said with a bit of a laugh. He was crazy.

" Today is your 16th birthday." John said and I stopped walking and looked at him. " people who make deals are given ten years before their soul is cashed in. Ten years ago today your dad saved your life by sealing his fate." John said. " And the noises you heard, the growling and the howling, that was real too. They're called hell-hound, they take the person's life." John said.

" How do you... no wait. How did my dad know about all this stuff?!" I asked quickly.

" because he was a hunter." John said.

I had to laugh. " Yea I don't know if you knew my father but he is..." I paused. " Was, a sales clerk for an insurance company who didn't even own a gun." I said.

" No, your dad was a hunter who killed evil things and saved a lot of people's lives, and he owned many guns and knives to."

" Why in the world should I believe anything you are saying?" I asked.

" Fine I'll prove it." He said as he walked out of the room. I followed. The house was old and kind of messy. We walked into the yard which was basically a junk yard that had many cars crushed and rusting. " This was your father's car." He said. " Right?" As he pointed to the 1970 Chevelle SS. My eyes grew.

" yeah." I smiled a bit. I was always in love with that car. My dad promised for my 18 birthday it would be mine and I couldn't wait to drive it. He loved that car as well, he took better care of 'her' then himself.

" Well then these are his to." John said walking around to the trunk. I shook my head when he opened it because it was just like a normal... "Right?" he stopped me from shaking my head when I saw him lift up the bottom on the trunk and revel a whole armory. My mouth dropped open. There were guns, knives and other random weapons lining the bottom of the trunk. " Then there is this." John handed me a book. It was old-looking. " Every hunter keeps a journal. That was your fathers." He said as I opened it.

The book was written page to page with his handwriting. There were drawings, spells, chants, and lists of ingredients. My eyes couldn't leave the pages. He wrote about monsters, ghosts, and a bunch of other things I have never heard of before.

" Oh my god." I whispered out. " This... this is crazy." I said as I started to fall against the car. " he never told me..."

" he was trying to protect you and hid his secret." John said.

I finally closed his journal and I just stared into the beyond. I took a deep breath. " Holy crap." I said. " this is a lot to take in." I said. " So all my life my dad lied to me and fed me lies about the monsters under my bed?" I asked.

" Well fathers do what they can to protect their children." John said as he looked at the house and saw his own two boys coming toward then. I watched as John's eyes fell a bit to the ground. They must have been his sons.

" Your sons?" She asked just before the two boys stood in front of them.

" Sam, and Dean." The boys smiled to her. Dean was the older one who just nodded quickly than up to his father. But Sam looked more heart-broken for me. Sounds a bit selfish but his eyes they were hurting.

" How you holding up?" Sam spoke softly.

" As good as I can when you find out you father isn't who you thought he was." I shrugged. Sam smirked a bit.

" Clara you will be staying with Bobby for a while." John pointed to the older man standing at the door. " He is a hunter to, he will answer any other questions."

" What? Are you leaving?" She asked looking up to John who smiled.

" Hunters like us have to keep moving. Staying in one place to long can be dangerous." John said. " But Sam is going to stay back for a bit." Sam looked up in confusion. "I know you didn't choose this but once you were old enough your dad was going to teach you how to be just like one of us."

" Dad." Dean spoke up. " Maybe now isn't the best time to.."

" She needs to hear it Dean." John barked back at his eldest son. Dean looked at me with sympathy but then took a step back. I appreciated him trying to spare my feelings but I didn't know why he cared.

" Bobby and Sam will teach you some things and when I get back I'll teach you how to do what we do." John said.

" but.." I was about to protest but John already had started walking away. I was so confused. So much had happened in the last few hours and I didn't even have time to deal with my father's death before I was being pushed in another direction. Sam sighed as he led me inside.

" Try to get some sleep and in the morning if your up for it... Well we will just see how it goes." he said as he led me upstairs. he smiled as I looked around the empty room. He closed the door quickly and once I knew I was alone I fell to my knees. Tears started to flow without warning and I couldn't stop. My dad, the only family I had was now dead and a whole new world was to blame. That night I did not sleep. I read my father's journal front to cover three times. My anger began to build and I started feeling the walls start to raise. I could tell I was no longer myself.


	2. Moving on

So this is just a filler chapter because the next one is long. I promise the story will get better. Please leave a review if you read... Thanks. :)

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Those next few months had to be the hardest of my life. Sam was considerate and knew how to take the hint. He would teach me to defend myself. He had a knack of letting me win just to show me how easy it could be. But, then he would make it almost impossible for me to win to show me how hard some things were going to be. Sam was more of an open book. We became quick friends and I felt I could tell him things I would never tell anyone else. He was sweet, caring and understood what it was like for me, he wanted nothing more to be just a normal kid but he knew that could never happen.

John would stop by every so often and teach me things like how to exercise a demon or how to kill a certain type of monster. He would ask me how I was doing with everything and every time my answer would be " This is all really unbelievable. Part of me still thinks I'm dreaming half the time." and he would always laugh and come back "Trust me Clara it is all very real." Then he would smile then leave. he and Dean hunted together a lot. Sam explained he was better at the whole researching thing. That's another thing I got really good at.

But Dean, he was a different story. He was cold, and acted way to old for his age. He was only 18 but acted like his father most of the time. Sam explained that Dean had liked being a hunter more than he had and Dean was just better at it. When Dean would come around I found myself trying to avoid him. he was very intimidating, yet charming at the same time. He showed me how to shoot. He had a great shot and he was doing his best to teach me. I'll admit the first few times I failed miserably but as the months went by I was a perfect shot.

Dean would shoot me reassuring little smirks but that's about it. he never really had much to say. I didn't take offence, I didn't know him and he didn't know. I was starting to get the impression hunters aren't the most friendly. Bobby was kind but rough around the edges. It took sometime for him to get used to me. He never told me other wise so i assumed he liked having some company.

I was getting used to living this life style. I know it sounds cold but I no longer missed my dad. Sure I thought about him from time to time but I stopped crying myself to sleep over it. I learned to shut out all my emotions just like the boys seemed to do. Sure it wasn't exactly healthy but it seemed less painful.

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" Bobby!" John's voice yelled as he busted through the door. I was sitting on the couch and jumped up. Bobby ran to the door. As him and John turned to come to the living room Dean had his arms around both their shoulders as his hung. Sam was following quickly behind him with pure worry on his face.

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Tin cliff hanger... So I'm sure you have noticed I am starting when Dean was about 18 and Sam was 15. I like building relationships.. because this one is going to be strong :) Review


	3. Vamps they suck blood

Would really love to hear what the readers think :) Thanks to those who have! :)

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" Clara. First aid kit, top self in the kitchen." Bobby said as he lay the boys body down.

" got it." I answered as I took off to the kitchen. Bobby hat taught me how to help heal any wound. I already knew how to sew. I knew I would be more help then Bobby would be. Even though he didn't like to admit it he got a tad emotional when one of those boys were hurt. They spent enough time around this house to be considered his kids too.

When I got back to the living room Sam was sitting as close to his brother as he could. " Where are you going?" Bobby's voice came from the hall.

" That vamp still needs to be killed." I over heard John's voice faded as the door slammed.

I took my chance and grabbed a seat and started to look over Dean. There was blood everywhere and his eyes were still not open. I took a deep breath as I grabbed the scissors and started cutting away at Dean's shirt to get at the wounds. He had what looked like bite marks and cuts. I started with pouring some alcohol on them and just as I did. Dean started moving a bit every time he felt the sting. " Sam hold your bother's shoulders down. Please." She asked and Sam did as I asked. " What the heck happened?" I asked quietly as I started to clean out the bites.

" uh... we were after a nest of Vamps and I was supposed to stay behind him but..." He paused and sighed. I looked up quickly and saw the pain in his eyes. " I went into one of the rooms and they jumped him." Sam said.

I paused quickly. " They didn't..."

" NO! No I made sure. Dad had made it in time to stop them from getting blood on him." Sam said quickly.

" Okay." I smiled to myself. The last thing I need is for this boy to come back as a vampire. I started sowing up Dean's wounds and as I did he would flinch every so often. I would stop and wait till he was done. I felt bad I was a source of pain for Dean but it had to be done or he would lose all his blood. " Bobby you have any thicker bandages?" I asked and Bobby nodded and took off upstairs, he didn't look to happy by the expression and they way he walked off.

" here." he said handing me a thick roll of white wrap.

" Thank you." I smiled as I wrapped up Dean's arm that had the biggest gash. Like a knife had just sliced right through him.

Once I was finished wrapped all his wounds I asked Bobby to carry him up stairs and lay him in a bed. Sam helped and when Sam came down I noticed one side of his shirt was discoloured. I sighed at the boy and pulled him down next to me. I ordered him to take his shirt off and he blushed a bit. I laughed at his shyness. A small yet still bleeding bite mark was the source. I quickly bandaged it up.

" Sam we should go make sure your dad is alright." Bobby said grabbing his keys. " You check on the kid make sure he is still breathing. Be back when we can." Bobby smiled.

" Be safe." I asked as they left and they both nodded slightly. About two hours went by. I was still siting beside Dean's bed. I had grabbed a book from the table, it just so happened to be Bobby's journal. I knew I shouldn't be reading it but I was bored and curious. I made sure Dean didn't bleed through is bandages and made sure he was still breathing from time to time. Then I started humming. It was a habit, when I was bored me and my dad would hum and it would always be Hey Jude, because dad used to say it was under appreciated.

I didn't even notice Dean start to stir. His eyes had opened at the sound of my tune. He tried to sit up and when he let out a groan that's when I realized he was awake.

" hey. Easy." I said as I pushed his shoulders back down. " I just fixed those I don't want to have to redo all of it." I said with more of an angrier tone then I meant.

He stopped and looked down at himself. " Well shit." he swore. " Was that you humming or just my head?" He asked as our eyes met.

I smiled and shrugged. " Yeah, I got bored waiting for you to wake." I said as I sat at the edge of the bed.

" You were humming Hey Jude." he smiled a bit.

" Yeah." I nodded. " Force of habit really." I shrugged again. He smiled again. " Something funny about me humming?" I asked narrowing my eyes at him.

" Oh no. Just reminded me of something." He smiled. "Wait how long have I been out?" he asked.

I turned my head and looked at the slowly ticking clock on the wall. " About three hours... give or take." I said.

" And you sat there the whole time?" he asked.

" Well that was after I sowed all the holes and stopped the bleeding." I said standing and sitting back in my chair.

Dean again looked down at himself. " Why..." he asked.

" Um because you were bleeding and if I didn't you could have easily bled out... Bobby's hands are a little shaky." I laughed and Dean smirked. " Plus your dad sure didn't seem like he wanted to." I rolled my eyes and spoke softer.

" Thanks." he said ignoring the last part of what I said. " What's your name again?" he asked.

My mouth dropped open a bit. " really?" I asked narrowing my eyes again. " I have lived here for a while now and you don't know my name?" I asked a bit insulted. " Dude you taught me how to shot like last week." I said throwing my arms up a bit.

" Well don't take it personally I don't remember a lot of girl's names." he smirked. " Plus I did just get jumped by like five vampires so cut me some slack." he said as he sat up slowly.

I sighed deeply. " Oh no your one of those aren't you." I shook my head.

" One of what?" he asked in confusion.

" Those guys who picks up some rando in a bar and doesn't care what her name is as long as she has a pretty face." I said.

" Ah see your wrong there. I always remember a pretty one." he said and I just stared back at him with a huff. He realized what he had just said and turned a bit red. " Oh that's not what I meant... You are very.."

" Stop right there Romeo." I rolled my eyes with a smile. " no need to explain, plus I'm sure those girls had more of a figure then me right?" I asked standing and walking for the door.

His eyes wondered to the corner or the room and he smiled. " Oh yea...Um No I Mea..."

" Oh shut up." I said. I shook my head and opened the door to leave.

" No wait. I'm sorry." he said standing up.

" hey no sit." I said rushing back in and pushing his shoulders down, but he didn't more.

" Oh stop I've seen worse days." He smirked. My eyes widened a bit. Dean had almost died hours ago and he had been through worse? That was horrifying.

" Oh..." I said softly.

" What about Sammy?" He asked his voice a bit more worried.

" Um he's fine. Just a mark on his side but I took care of it." I answered moving away from him.

" Thank you. Again." he said with a smile. I nodded and again tried to make my way to the door. " Wait..." I paused and looked back. " Can I at least have the name of my nurse?" He said jokingly.

" Nurse? Buddy I am not your nurse."

" You sure? Because I bet you would make a pretty damn good one." He winked.

" Are you always this annoying?" I asked putting both hands on my hips.

" Yes." His smile grew. " You always this stubborn about little things?" he asked.

" Yes." I answered with a big nod. I turned and walked for the door. I smiled to him as I closed the door to let him sleep, change or what ever he wanted to do. Then I opened it quickly. " Oh by the way, as your nurse I should suggest you stay in bed for a while and not disturb those stitches but I have a feeling you're just going to jump in the face of danger again... so yeah." I smiled.

" Ah well you know us hunters have so many people to save and what not. Can't just lay here and let strangers tend to my every need." He smirked as he stood straight and started walking forward. He was very well build young man. Strong arms and torso and big shoulders. I hadn't noticed before because of all the blood but it was nice.

I crossed my arms. " Hi I'm Clara." I smiled. " And I will not be tending to your every need." I winked as I begun to leave.

" Oh come on. I'm in pain some one has to help me take a shower." He laughed.

" Oh well in that case." I turned to him. " I have Sammy's cell number on seed dial you want me to call me?" I asked pulling out the old cell phone in my pocket. I laughed at my tease and he just looked annoyed. He just shook his head. " Well then have a nice shower." I said and with that I left the room. I laughed to myself as I walked down the stairs.

Dean came down an hour later. he looked clean. " wow." I said and he looked at me. " you always take that long to fix your hair?" I asked with a giggle. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

" Where is everyone?" he asked as he sat at the edge of Bobby's desk. I was sitting on the chair behind the desk when he turned asking me questions.

" Um Well John went back for the vamps, and then Bobby and Sam followed them." I said using my hands to make it sound more dramatic than it needed to be.

" What? They just took off?" Dean jumped off the desk. " I gotta go after them." he said to himself.

" No you don't." I said standing. " You were half dead only hours ago and I'm pretty sure they can handle what was left of the nest." I said.

" but.."

" But nothing. Jeez do you ever relax?" I asked.

" How can I relax?" he asked over reacting.

" Like this." I said pointing to my self as i took a deep breath and let it out. " Now you try." I said pointing to him and he rolled his eyes and of corse he just rolled his eyes. He sighed. " You really can't just sit still can you?" I asked once he had sat down and started playing with his shirt tag.

" Just not something I'm used to." he shrugged.

" seriously?" I asked not believing he had never just chilled out.

" life on the road, tracking things, killing them... It's a cycle." He said.

" Then why do you do it?" I asked sitting next to him on the couch.

Dean sighed. " Because of my mom." he said.

" your mother brought you up like this?" I asked leaning back a bit feeling sorry.

Dean laughed. " Hell no. She would have wanted the complete opposite."

" Would have?" I asked noticing the past tense.

" A demon snuck into Sam's room one night and when my mom tried to protect him he killed her." Dean spoke softly as his eyes began to glaze over a bit. " It's been my father's drive. He needs to catch the thing that killed her and he taught us how to do the same." Dean shrugged.

I looked up at him as he stood walking back a forth as he told the story. My heart broke a bit for him. " I am so sorry..." I said hanging my head. Dean had never really been the one to talk to me and it was both strange and nice to listen to him.

" Plus saving people is pretty cool." He smiled when I looked up at him.

" Your heroes." I added. " A bit unconventional... bu still it counts." I smiled.

He sighed then he looked around. " Alright let's go." he said quickly walking out of the house. He stopped at the back door and grabbed what looked like a silver gun and headed out the door.

" What are we doing exactly?" I asked as I followed him as he quickly walked out.

" Well you claim that I taught you how to shoot. Now seeing as I met a lot of people and can't remember I wanna see how good of a teacher I am." he smiled. With one hand he lifted the gun and shot off two rounds. They hit a sign right in the middle. " Match that mark." He said handing the gun to me.

I rolled my eyes. I grabbed the gun quickly. I took my aim and before Dean could comment I let off one shot and match his mark. I smiled and turned to him. " Looks like you were a pretty good teacher." I said.

" Damn good!" Dean smiled as he looked at the hole i made. " how long did that take?" he asked.

" Um.. About a week. A few days here and there." I said shrugging.

" Well..." he said looking back to me. " Awesome." he smiled. We walked back to the house and when I sat down on the couch he just kept looking at me. " Wait..." he said and i looked up. " I'm starting to remember. Clara Shaw right?" he asked. " Daughter of David Shaw?" he asked.

" Yeah..." It had been a while since I heard his name.

" I'm sorry about that by the way." Dean smiled.

" Not much you or I could have done about it." I shrugged. " Guess crappy things just happen." I said standing and walking out of the room. Even though it had been a while I still didn't like talking about my dad.

I started walking up the stairs and he stopped me. " Clara?" he asked.

" Yeah?" I asked stopping on the second step and leaned on the rail.

" It gets easier." he smiled simply. I nodded slightly and he walked back out side. I stayed leaned on the rail and watched his walk out. For an 18-year-old Dean wasn't as cold or shut off like I thought he was. I shook my head once I noticed I was still thinking about Dean. I walked into my room and fell onto my bed. Before I knew it my eyes were slowly shutting and then suddenly it was like I was awake again. I hated having nightmares.

_The room is dark. " Hello?" I call out but all I hear is a crackling sound." Who's there?" I asked. I start running when I hear " Its me honey." in my father's voice. I can't seem him but I know this isn't real. I don't want to be here so I run. I run and I run. Seems like for miles in the dark. "Wait!" His voice calls then the room lights up with fire. It's hot, red and smoky. " Stop it!" I call out. "But I just wanted to show you what you cost me." My father said as he stepped through the fire. My eyes could barley take the sight of him. He was pale, and have deep scratches all along his body. " I gave up my life for you and this is what I get..." he said as the room got hotter. " I can't breathe..." I stutter out. " I can never breathe again because of you!" He yelled and then he started bleeding from his wounds. His eyes turned black and he had a wicked smile spread across his face from ear to ear. " Stop it! Please! Dad!" I scream. " Clara!" My name is called by a softer voice._

I suddenly feel two arms shaking my shoulders. I sit up quickly my hands balled in fists ready to fight back. " Wooh! Hey!" Sam's voice called as he waved his hands in the air.

" Sam." I sighed in relief.

" Hey are you alright? You were yelling and thrashing..." He said. "And now you're shaking." he said as he put and hand on my arm. " Clara?"

" Oh... Yeah..." I said out of breath. " Fine... just um weird dream." I said looking down.

" I get nightmares too." He whispered. " I know how real they can seem... but they aren't." He smiled.

"But dad!" We both hear Dean's voice yell from down the hall.

" No discussion." John's voice said as the two walked by my room.

" You shouldn't go alone. Let me and Sammy come. You always say it's better to have backup." Dean argued.

" And looked what happened." John said. " just stay here with Bobby. I'll be back in a few days and then we can continue our search. I have to handle this one on my own." John's voice passed my room and Sam and I stood and walked to the door to see John racing down the stairs with Dean following. " And that is final." John said as the door slammed.

" Stubborn...stupid..." Dean muttered to himself as he walked in a circle at the door. His face was red and his fists were balled and turning white.

" Dean?" Sam asked as he reach the bottom of the stairs.

Dean looked to his brother and his eyes flared with both anger and blame. Sam looked down and sighed. " I'm going for a walk. Stay here." Dean demanded as the sound of a car ripped out from the drive. Dean walked to the back door and he didn't look up.

" I'm gunna go and get some sleep..." Sam said in a softer tone.

" Hey Sam is he okay?" I asked as he passed me.

" Yeah.. he just need a second to walk off his anger. He'll be back eventually." Sam shrugged.

" Well sweet dreams Sam." I smiled at him and he nodded as he disappeared up stairs. I sighed and wished I knew why Sam and Dean seemed so different than John. I looked at the clock on the wall and sighed when it wasn't even 8. I had only slept for a few hours. " Well... this is going to be interesting." I asked myself as I sank into the couch.

" What is?" Bobby's voice came from behind me and I jumped a bit.

" Wow... make more noise when you walk." I said with a breath.

he chuckled a bit. " Well I'm sorry." he said sitting next to me. " So what's going to be interesting?" he asked.

" This life I guess..." I shrugged.

" Yeah it takes some getting used to." he said. " Especially when you have had the normal version." He smiled.

" You speaking from experience?" I asked.

" I guess you could say that." He said. " But don't worry. Unlike John I believe hunting is a choice... well sometimes." Bobby said.

"Hey... I don't think I ever thanked you for helping me and giving me a place to stay." I said and Bobby shrugged. " Thank you. It means a lot you would take in a stranger." I said.

He chuckled a bit. " Stranger? Clara you are not just some random helpless girl." he said looking over to me. " Your dad and I were good friends and when you were first born and learning to walk I saw you just about everyday." He smiled.

" Really?" I asked. He nodded. " I don't remember that..."

" Well no you were still in a baby." he said.

" Still thanks.. you have done more for me then a lot of people would have." I smiled.

" Anything for my god-daughter." he nudged me.

I looked up at him quickly. " Your my God father?" I asked.

" Yeah... Your dad never told you that?" Bobby asked. I shook my head. " Oh well I guess him keeping this world secret was part of that." Bobby hung his head a bit. " David was very clear if anything happened to him I was to make sure you were safe." he smiled down at me. A moment of silence passed and he stood and walked up the stairs.

I sat alone for a minute before I couldn't sit anymore. There was just something in me that I couldn't explain. I jumped from the couch and took off out the door. I just started running. I ran pasted all the cars and metal, past Singer's body shop sign and past the end of the road. My eyes were again burning and I could feel tear rolling down my face. Why was I so upset and angry?

I ran down the road and into a field. I took a quick look around and at first didn't see anything but a set of bleachers. I looked up at the sky and took a deep breath. Then I let out a scream, not a scared scream and not a cry for help. But a scream of pure anger and rage.

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Well I hope you liked... Sorry for such a long chapter, just didn't knw where to end. Anyways review please :)


	4. Reading is one thing

Well I hope someone is actually reading this... lol anyways. I know the way I end my chapters are kind of random but I just feel like it is just to much to read in one chapter. So one more until I get to the actual hunting which we all love!... well if you read review please...LET ME KNOW SOMONE LIKES THIS?!

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First hunt. Most people would have run for the hills when the lights started flickering. But no not me. No i had to run right into the house guns blazing. Turns out we were dealing with an angry spirit.

" Cynthia Turner." I spoke up sitting next to the boys in the run down motel room. They all looked up at me with confusion. I smiled I had researched for hours and found nothing until now. I had search traumatic deaths in the area over the past few years and found one. " Cynthia Tuner, she was 45, married with two kids." I said reading the article labelled "**Young mother brutally murdered, money seemed to be the reason.**" it was a strange title.

" Yeah so?" Dean asked sighing deeply. " Random death doesn't make an angry spirit." He said putting his head down.

" Yeah I know that." I said mocking him. " She was killed by her husband. he had a big life insurance policy on her. She had found out about his affair and flipped out and he beat her to death." I said as I turned the computer over to Sam.

" Story fits Dean." Sam agreed. " She was abused as well... kids to."

" Why is that important?" I asked. They wouldn't let me go with them to investigate and when they all got back they didn't answer my questions.

" All the victims were abused by the husband. The kids and wife were killed with one slit of the throat but the husbands were literally beaten to death." Dean answered taking the laptop from Sam looking at the crime scene photos. " Just like that." he pointed to the picture of Cynthia. I took the computer back and stared at the bloody and dead face of the young girl.

Dean, Bobby and Sam all seemed to look at me when I looked at the picture. I guess they were waiting me to freak out or say something. " Jesus... someone did that to me I would come back and throw a brick throw his face." I shook my head as I looked up at their faces. I had to smile. They all seemed shocked. "What?" I asked.

" Well most people when they see things like this... especially girls... they tend to.." Sam started.

" What freak out?" I asked. " Sorry was I supposed to? Make you feel more manly?" I asked looking at Sam. He looked shocked at my answer. I smiled. " Sorry... I guess it doesn't bother me." I shrugged closing the laptop.

" Yeah apparently." Dean smiled.

The next few hours was spent listening to Dean's plan. It didn't make sense. " Wait!" I stopped him. " You want us to just sit here and wait for a 911 call?" I asked. " Then when the call comes in then take off... and try to beat the police?" I asked.

" Yeah..."

" I thought we were trying to stop her from killing again? What you suggest may just end up with more bodies." I added.

Dean narrowed his eyes. " Well you got a better plan?" He threw his arms up in anger.

I smiled. " Yeah I do." Bobby shook his head as the boys looked at me. " But you are gonna have to just go with me and trust me." I said.

" Let's hear it then." Sam said.

" Ok... Bobby you go to the police and put on your best fed disguise and ask to look into files of domestic disturbances in the area." Bobby nodded. " Your looking for a family that would make regular trips to the hospital, father would usually not be around. The mother would have made excuses like falling down stairs or some crap like that." Bobby nodded again and waited.

" And you three?" he asked.

" Well we are going to use our age to our advantage." I smiled to Bobby. " There are only two schools in this town. How old were the children that were killed?" I asked Sam. He opened his laptop.

" always 10 and 3." Sam sighed.

" And how old were Cynthia's children?"

" Um turns out the father killed them too... they were.." he paused. " Exactly 10 and 3." Sam looked to me.

" And there is only one middle school in this town." I smiled. " We are going to go there."

" and do what exactly" Dean crossed his arms still angry I blew his plan.

" Well it's a Wednesday. The murders always seem to pop up every few days. Tomorrow night we will either find and kill a spirit or be looking at four new bodies." I said standing up. " You get going on the police." She pointed to Bobby. He nodded and left and went to his own room. They only got two rooms. They had just arrived in the morning and went right to investigating. " And you two." I turned to the boys. " For once look your age." I said.

An hour later I was sitting by the door with my head on the table. Sam was laying on the bed. We had al taken turns getting ready to look our age. For me all I had to do was brush my hair, Sam just had to tone down the plaid. We had been waiting for what seemed like forever for Dean.

" Oh my god! School gets out in a few hours Dean! Today would be nice!" I yelled still keeping my head down. I heard Sam's laugh and looked up.

" I bet you ten bucks he was fixing his hair." Sam said.

" Oh I have a feeling I'll lose that bet." I laughed as the bathroom door opened.

" Alright let's get this over with." he said looking like himself only with out his father's leather jacket.

" Wow... I owe you ten bucks Sam." I said as we al walked out the door. Sam and I looked at each other and started laughing.

As we pulled into the school we saw kindergarten kids running around in the play ground of the old school and a few teachers talking with each other. I walked into the school first. As we walked in the secretary smiled at me.

" How can I help you?" He asked looking at us.

" Hi there." I smiled sweetly walking over to her. " If it wouldn't be too much trouble we would like to speak to the principal. We will only take ten minutes of their time." I smiled.

" Just a sec." The women smiled as she dialled a number on the phone. " Mr. Younge? There is a few students here to see you. Are you busy?" She asked into the phone. She nodded and hung up the phone. " Go right a head." She said pointing to the office down the hall.

I walked in front of the boys. Sam followed closely, and Dean kept distance. The door to the office was open and Mr. Younge was sitting at his desk writing in pen. I knocked slightly on the door. " Mr Younge?" I asked.

" Oh yes come in please." He smiled waving me in. "What can I do for you?" he asked. " You three look a little old for this school." he pointed out.

" Oh we go to the high school just down the road." I smiled. " We are all in a sociology class and have a problem I hope you could help with." I said walking forward.

" Well what seems to be the problem?" He asked.

"See we have a project due in a few weeks that is worth more than half our final mark and we just don't know how to start."

" What kind of project?" He asked.

" We have to analyze how small children who could be or have been abuse act in their social setting like a classroom." I spoke quickly. Mr. Younge looked at me with confusion. " I know, heavy stuff for teenagers right?" I laughed.

" When you say small children?" He asked.

" Oh we were focusing on fourth graders." Sam stepped in. " We just thought they would be more social than younger children." Sam smiled.

" Well I would love to help but I can't let you have access to any personal files..."

" Oh no." I said shaking my head. " We don't need to look at any files or anything like that. We just have to observe a group of children and document different behaviours." I smiled.

" If we could just watch a class go about its regular day... it would really help us out." Sam said.

Mr. Younge stood. " Well let's see what I can do." He said as he walked out of the office. I followed next to him as Sam and Dean followed behind us. We came to a stop at the end of a white hallway. Mr. Younge knocked on the door and opened it. " Miss haymen... could I borrow you for a moment?" He asked. The young teacher smiled and walked over to the door. I could feel the intense stare Dean was giving the attractive teacher from behind me. The teacher smiled at us. " These three high school students would like to observe your class for a bit. Would that be alright?"

" Yeah sure." She said. " We were just about to have recess." She said.

" Great." I said. " Only be a bit. Thank you." I smiled. The young teacher walked in and Sam and Dean followed her. They walked to the back of the room and Dean's eyes never left the teacher's body. I rolled my eyes. " Mr. Younge, thank you very much." I smiled sweetly at him.

" Always glad to help young people and their thirst for knowledge." he smiled as he walked back down the hall with his hands in his pockets.

" Alright, seeing as it looks like it's going to rain." Miss Haymen started as I made my way back to where Sam sand Dean stood. " We are just going to have recess inside today."

The sound of shuffling feet started when the teacher stopped talking. " That was one really good lie." Sam whispered in my ear. I smiled.

" So what exactly we looking for?" He sighed.

" Faded bruises, somber attitudes, and almost no energy. These kids they are so scared of doing something wrong they would most likely sit alone, and not say much. They wouldn't want to say something wrong because they know what it gets them." I said not even looking at the boys. " They keep to themselves, almost no friends and basically it's in their eyes." I said looking from face to face. "The eyes of a hurting child is not something you can just over look." I finally looked up to see the surprised looks i was getting.

" How do you know all this?" Dean asked.

I said nothing. I shrugged. " I read." I lied not wanting to explain how I knew. I looked from face to face. They all seemed happy and like normal 10 year olds. I couldn't help but think about their parents and what they tell thier kids about the monsters in the closet or under the bed. As i looked around I spotted what I was looking for. " You two keep observing. I'll be right back." I said to Sam but I didn't look to him.

This little boy was sitting alone, at the front near the window. He was colouring with a black crayon and he didn't look happy like the others. As i walked closer I tried to see his drawing but his other arm was wrapped around it.

" Hi there." I knelt down was eye level with him. " What are you drawing?" I asked.

" Nothing." he said quickly and quietly.

" Sure seems like a lot of work for nothing." I smiled sadly at him. " My name is Clara Shaw. What's yours?" I asked. He set his crayon down gently and looked slowly up at me. I wanted to cry at the sight of his face. His right eye was a dark but slowly fading, and he had a small cut in the middle of his lip. He tilted his head at me. " What's your name." I smiled trying not to let my sadness for him show.

"Eric." he said quietly.

" Eric...?" I trailed off.

" Eric Stanley." he got my hint.

" Well Eric Stanley it is very nice to meet you." I smiled and he smiled back a bit. " So can I see what you are drawing?" I asked. When I spoke he seemed to pull away and lay over his paper. " Please? I love art." I smiled.

" Really?" he asked. I nodded. He pulled away from the paper and pushed it to me. I reached out and lifted it up. Again I wanted to cry when I saw what it was. It was a white piece of paper with a small stick figure in the corner. Then taking up the rest of the page was what looked like a monster with a big and very scary shadow. " Its the lady that lives in my closet." Eric spoke up.

I looked up at him quickly. " Has this lady ever tried to hurt you?" I asked.

" No. She's my friend. She talks to me." he said leaning forward whispering to me. " She says she will fix everything. She says she will stop it."

" When was the last time you spoke to her?" I asked.

" Last night. She said tomorrow it would all be over." Eric seemed to smile a bit.

"Eric.. what happened to your eye and lip?" I asked quietly.

He sighed and looked down. " I fell." He said and I could tell he was lying.

" Did your mom tell you to say that?" I asked. The little boy nodded at me. " Eric, do you have a little sister?" I asked remembering the details of the cases. He nodded " How old is she?" I asked.

"Three. Her name is Julia." He smiled. I could tell he was a proud big brother.

" That is a lovely name." I smiled. " hey Eric do you think I could keep this picture? I just love it so much." I smiled.

" Sure. I have lots of them." He shrugged.

" Well thank you." I smiled. " Hey Eric can you do me a favor?" I asked and he nodded. " Next time something like this..." I pointed to his eye and lip. " Happens again, promise you will call someone for help?" I asked.

" Okay." The little boy smile.

" Trust me, Eric everything will be okay." I said.

" I know. That's what the lady says." He said as he turned and went back to another blank page in front of him.

I watch him draw for a minute before I sighed and stood up. I held the picture tight my hands as I walked back to the boys. They were watching me as I walked back. I was staring past them as I walked past them and out the back door of the classroom. Sam and Dean looked at each other before following me.

I didn't say anything until I reached the parking lot. " That poor little boy." I shook my head as I leaned up against the old car door. Sam and Dean came closer.

" Clara?" Sam asked. " You alright?" he asked.

I felt my eyes begin to water as I looked up at the boys. They had their hands in their pockets as they looked at me with concern in their face. " After everything I have read over these last few months and I'm sure after everything you two have seen... I just can't wrap my head around why anyone would..." I paused as a tear fell and I whipped it away. " How could any human hurt such an innocent little kid like him." I shook my head.

" That's just it." Dean spoke up." Guys like this aren't human." He said shrugging. " They get what is coming to them... only the family suffers as well. " Dean added. " It's part of the job... just not the good part." He said as he walked over to the driver's side and started the car.

" You alright?" Sam asked as I walked over and he opened the back door for me. I nodded and climbed in. The car right back to the hotel was silcent. I didn't fee like talking after leaving the school. I just kept quiet as Dean drove quickly. When we pulled up Bobby was already in the room waiting for us.

" Mandy and Tyler Stanley." Bobby said as they walked in.

" Two kids. Julia is three and Eric, ten." I finished his sentence.

" How did you.." Bobby started but I just handed him the picture Eric had drawn. He sighed and looked up at me. " So it's them. Pieces fit?" Bobby asked.

" Every single one." I sighed as I fell to the couch and sighed closing my eyes.

" Cynthia will attack them tomorrow." Sam spoke up.

" Only this time, she will not hurt those kids." I said as I stood up looking at the three guys. My eyes must have looked serious because no one argued with me. " I'm gonna shower." I said walking over to the bathroom.

" um... Clara?" Bobby spoke up. I turned and he stood facing me. " You want to have my room? Privacy and what not?" He asked.

" Bobby I am to tired to care, You should get a good night sleep, you take your room and hell I'll sleep on the couch." I said.

Before anyone said anything I slammed the bathroom door shut. As I turned the shower on I could feel the worry begin to build. I was suddenly very aware that tomorrow night I would go on my first hunt. Sure I read all those books but that was different. So I did what I always did when I needed to stay calm. I started humming Hey Jude again. The water was hot on my skin and it made me more relaxed. How was I supposed to help this family!? I wanted more than anything to just forget about Eric and the horrible thing that was going to happen to them...but I couldn't. The look on his little face just made me ache for him. I took a deep breath as I turned the water off. I had to make sure he would be alright.


	5. But doing this is different

Last chapter for tonight... Well I hope again someone will read it. :)

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When I finally dried off I shook the towel in my hair to dry it off. The bathroom was steaming so I cracked the window to let some fresh air in. I was still humming Hey Jude, I must have started and finished the song about three times by the time I finally walked out of the bathroom.

I had sweat pants and a plain black tank top on when I walked back into the room. The lights were already turned out. I looked around quickly and saw Sam fast asleep on one bed and Dean asleep on his back on the couch. He did not look very comfortable. I smiled and made sure to remember to thank him in the morning. I looked over to the other bed and sighed.

It was harder than it looked and the pillows were flatter then they appeared. I rolled my eyes. If I was going to be a hunter I would defiantly invest in my own pillow. My hair was damp but the hair was humid. The cool of my hair was refreshing on my neck as I lay staring at the ceiling.

I guess I was still humming because could hear Dean move around then sigh. He finally sat up but I said nothing. I didn't stop humming though. I couldn't. He moved around a bit before he finally settled. " How did you know all that stuff about that kid?" Dean's voice was raspy.

I sat up slowly and looked in his direction. He was laying down on his back with his head tilted to me. I couldn't really see his face but I knew he was looking at me. " I told you. I read." I lied.

He chuckled to himself a bit. " Has anyone ever told you you're a terrible liar?" He asked.

" As a matter of fact, no." I smiled shaking my head.

" Come on seriously." he said finally sitting up and getting up. He walked over and sat at the edge of my bed. That's when I was suddenly aware of what I was wearing. I slowly pulled the blanket toward myself. Sure there wasn't much to be showing off but it still felt weird. The light from the window shone through hitting his face. He looked very curios.

I sighed and looked down. " His name was Jack." I smiled looking past him.

" Please tell me he this Jack is not an ex-boyfriend I have to track down and give him an ass kicking." He said.

I smiled at Dean's comment. " No, nothing like that... trust me that was _not_ the problem." I rolled my eyes. He looked at me funny. He must have got the hint that the tone in my voice meant I had never had a boyfriend.

" Alright." He sighed. " His name was Jack..." He trailed off waiting for me to continue.

" he was my best friend through out grade school. Quiet, didn't say a lot to others, and kept to himself. He would come to school every week with a fresh bruise or cut." I sighed looking down at my hands. " He was just a sweet boy who would never hurt a fly... but when he didn't finish his vegetables or clean his room his mother would..." I paused feeling the tears come back. I took a breath to swallow them back. " he would tell me that it was nothing and he could handle it himself... and that he was used to it. But I knew better... at least I thought I did." I stopped again trying to hold back the tears. " A cop lived down the street from me and my dad and one day I decided I was going to be the one to help Jack and get him away from all that. The cops they did their investigation but Jack and his mother just told them he was clumsy and fell a lot, and that was it." I shrugged.

" Stupid cops.." Dean scoffed.

" he came to school the next day with a black eye, broken arm and he walked with a limp." I cut Dean off as one tear fell. "He wouldn't talk to me. I tried and I tried to get him to just say one word so I knew he was alright..." I sighed looking back down as I wiped the tear away. " At the end of the day he walks up to me, hands me this note and then walks home alone."

" A note?" Dean asked with a bit of regret in his voice. I knew he was already regretting asking.

" It said, I told you not to tell anyone but thank you." I sighed again. I really hated revisiting this memory I couldn't erase. " he was right, he told me everyday not to... but me and my big mouth." I shook my head.

" The kid was mad. All kids get mad. I'm sure he was back to normal with in a few days?" Dean shook his head and began to stand up.

" Jack hung himself later that night." I said with anger in my voice. I was angry Dean had just waved me off that way. He froze in mid stand. He sat quickly and looked back to me. His eyes were wide and shocked. " That was the look I had on my face when my dad told me Jack wouldn't be walking to school with me ever again. He was only 12 years old." I shook my head at Dean and looked down.

" That's why you were so keen on saving Eric." Dean stated the obvious.

I shrugged. " I couldn't save Jack maybe I could save Eric..." I sighed looking back up to him.

" Wow... that is some heavy crap for someone so young." He said looking at me. " But we will. Don't worry. Eric and his family will be just fine." Dean nodded.

I smiled up at him. " wait... why were you so ready to kick an ex boyfriends butt for me?" I asked narrowing my eyes at Dean. He cleared his throat and shifted awkwardly. " I mean you barely know me. Hell a few days ago you didn't even know my name." I laughed.

" I knew it... I just couldn't remember at the moment." he defended himself.

" Oh yeah sure." I rolled my eyes. " So why?" I asked.

" I don't know?" He shrugged as he was about to get up.

" Oh no." I said sharply as I reached out and grabbed his arm and pulled him down. " I just shared a traumatic story from my childhood I would have paid a psychiatrist thousands of dollars to listen to... you don't get to get off that easy." I laughed a bit. He sighed deeply and laughed a bit to.

" Fine." he grunted. " you just seem the type that might stick around." He said.

" How do you mean?" I asked.

" Me and Sammy, we don't have what you call friends... we have a few people we talk to on occasion and our dad... Bobby is more like an uncle." Dean shrugged. " Even if you don't become a hunter I would still consider you a friend... I know for sure Sam would and does." Dean smiled looking over at his sleeping brother. " plus there is just something about you..." he narrowed his eyes at me.

" Something?" I asked narrowing my eyes back.

" I wanna say different... but i don't know. I guess your someone we could trust." He blinked quickly.

" And because I can be trusted you would kick my boy friend's ass.. _if _I had one?" I questioned even more.

" No... I just like kicking people's asses." He smiled.

" Well aren't you a charmer." I winked at him.

" Eh.. I try." he smiled.

It was quiet for a moment a we both stopped laughing. " Well I'll make you a deal Dean." I said straightening my back. " I'll be yours and Sam's friend, someone you can trust, someone you can call with any problem, someone who will listen to anything you have to say, and I'll always be around when you need me on one condition." I said putting my finger up. " you do the same."

" And why would you do all of that?" he asked in an unsure voice.

" I don't know if you noticed... but my life has kinda been a mess, I don't have much family left, I have no friends to begin with, and you two seem like the type I can trust." I smiled up at him. " Soo... Deal?" I asked sticking my hand out.

He looked at me with an eye brow raised. I smiled sweetly at him. Then he took my hand and shook it. " Deal." he said. " But girl you have your work cut out for you..." he said as he slowly stood up.

" Always up for a challenge." I smiled as he walked back to his couch. He smiled as he sat down. " hey Dean?" I asked as he laid down.

" Yeah?" he asked turning his head to me.

" Thanks for letting me have the bed." I smiled.

He chuckled a bit. " That's what friends do." he shrugged as his eyes closed. " Night Clara." He sighed quietly.

" Night Dean." I said as I laid down and closed my eyes.

* * *

In morning came quickly. I could hear Sam and Dean talking and making noise as I woke up. As I sat up the bright sun poked through the open blinds and burned my eyes. " hey.. what ever happened to keeping the curtains closed?" I asked annoyed.

As I sat up I could hear both boys laugh. I opened my eyes and they were red in the face they were trying to hold in their laughs. " That... That is a nice hair style you got going for you." Dean finally said. Before him and Sam could help it they bursted out laughing and I threw both pillows at them.

" Shut up." I said as the pillows hit them and they were thrown off. " We can't all wake up perfectly like you two!" I shouted at time as I walked into the bathroom and closed the door loudly. I could still hear their giggles.

When I walked out with my hair in a ponytail, jeans and a sweater Bobby and the boys were waiting outside. They were throwing all their stuff into the car. I grabbed my bag and joined them.

" So what's the plan?" I asked looking to Bobby.

" I found out where Cynthia is buried and Bobby is going to go and burn the remains." Sam said and Bobby nodded.

" And you three are going to watch over the family." Bobby said.

" And how do we do that?" I asked. Sounded like a dumb question but how was I supposed to know the stuff they did. " We can't just walk up, knock on their door and say 'hey there is a ghost in your house that is going to kill your family... can we come in?' so explain how we watch them?" I mocked them.

" Just follow us on this." Dean said taking his seat in the front. Bobby drove quickly to the Stanley house and dropped us off. " Be careful Bobby." Dean said as he closed the car door. Bobby nodded at us and took off.

" Okay... what now?" I asked standing in between the brothers.

" I'm thinking." Dean said.

" Seriously! I thought you had a plan." I said in a hard whisper. " We are just three teenagers standing out side of a house... oh and not to mention the bag of _guns_ Sam is carrying." I whispered and threw my arms up.

" um..." Dean started. I could see the concern and the hesitation in him. It was like he was afraid to screw up.

" How many hunts have you guys been on alone?" I asked quietly to Sam so Dean couldn't hear.

" This one." Sam said. " Dad never lets up hunt alone... says we aren't old enough and it is dangerous." Sam rolled his eyes.

" Oh... I guess it would hurt his ego if I suggest something?" I asked.

" Yeah... probably." Sam said.

"Well then I won't suggest... I'll just do it." I said smiling at him. " Come running if you hear screaming... and not just mine." I said to the brothers.

" What are you doing!" Dean yelled.

I ignored the question and ran across the street. The sun was going to set in a few hours and we couldn't just walk into a house with a family in it. So I walked up to the door and knocked. When the door finally opened. " Can I help you?" The women, Mandy Stanley spoke. She was holding Julia in her arms as she cried quietly. She was a pretty women but looked very tired. She had a dark eye but it was hiding behind makeup.

" Hi, You don't know me but My name is Clara. I'm a high school student and I was talking to your son earlier today. You see I have this major project due a few weeks and I need to observe the way a child behaves at home and in the class and see how different it is..." Mandy looked at me the same way the principle had. " I know its heavy stuff for such young people... but if it wouldn't be too much trouble would it be alright if I just talked to Eric for a bit. I swear you won't even know I'm here."

" I'm not sure. I don't know you..." She hesitated.

" I know.. it's an odd request but it would be a huge help. You can call Eric's school if you like. I was there yesterday." I smiled sweetly. Just then Eric walked down the stairs with a piece of paper again.

" Clara?" he asked walking to the door next to his mother. " What are you doing here?" he asked.

" Well I came to see if I could spend some more time with you. I really loved your drawing and was wondering if it was alright with your mother if I could watch you do more..." I looked up to Mandy.

" you know here Eric?" His mother tuned to him.

" Yeah." He smiled a bit. " She's nice. Can she come in so we can draw together?" he asked.

" Again it would be a big help." I said.

She sighed as she looked at the watch on her wrist. " Alright come on in." She finally smiled. " It's just my husband will be home soon and he doesn't like house guests." She said.

" Well I'll be gone before that." I smiled as Eric grabbed my hand and pulled me to his room. As we got there my cell phone started to ring. I had forgotten I had one. Bobby gave it to me before we left his house, he said having burner cell phones helped hunters keep in touch. " hello?" I asked.

" Are you insane!" Dean's voice barked at me.

" Okay relax." I said. " I'm not insane... you didn't have a plan and I did." I said as I sat with Eric.

" Clara, get back out here now. This is not safe."

" and standing on the street waiting for something to happen would have been better?" I asked. He said nothing. He just exhaled in anger. " Dean just be ready. Once something happens I will call you... and I'm sure you'll be hearing the kids scream eventually." I said as i hung up the phone. I heard him swear but I ignored it.

I sat with Eric for a while. He didn't talk much, he just showed me drawings and told me about the lady he had seen. I smiled and made sure he wasn't scared. He was a cute kid who just needed to be loved. " Is she gonna hurt us?" He finally asked.

" Who?" I asked.

" The lady? She said tonight everything would be better." He looked up at me with scared and fear filled eyes.

I placed two hands on his shoulders. At my touch he flinched a bit. " As long as I am here no one is going to hurt you." I smiled and he nodded and sprung from his seat and hugged me.

" Thank you." he said quietly.

I just smiled as he squeezed harder. " Mandy!" a low voice came from down stairs as the door opened and slammed. " Mandy!" Tyler's voice rang out again. Eric seemed to pull away and push away from me when he heard his father's voice.

That's when things started to get odd. The sun was going down and then the lights started to flicker. I sighed. Then I heard Julia start to cry. I ran to the door of Eric's room quickly and looked down the stairs. Tyler was yelling at Mandy as she held Julia. Then he pushed the two of them into the wall.

" Hey!" I yelled and ran down the stairs.

Mandy's eyes grew in terror and Tyler looked at me with rage. " who the hell are you!" He yelled at me as the lights began to flicker again. I looked around before I answered.

" You have any salt in the kitchen?" I asked ignoring Tyler.

" What?" Mandy said finally letting Julia down. She ran up the stairs into Eric's room. I smiled at that. It was cute she ran to her big brother when she was scared... but then again she shouldn't have to be afraid.

" Listen to me carefully." I said as all the lights went off in the house. " I know this is random and will sound crazy but you have a ghost of a very pissed off women in your house." I said looking at Mandy.

" Did Eric put you up to this!" Tyler yelled as he grabbed my arm.

" Keep your hands off of me!" I yelled as I leaned back and punched him in the face. He stumbled back. "This is your fault." I said to him. " Mandy go get your kids and..." I paused when I saw her.

Cynthia. She was standing behind Tyler at the door. She was pale, and in blood soaked clothes. She spread her arms and all of a sudden the glass in the windows shattered and covered us in glass. I could feel blood on my lip. The three of us fell back into the glass and I must have cut my lip.

" YOU!" She screamed and pointed to Tyler. She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up the stairs. I tried to grabbed him but she grabbed me by the arm and threw me away. Sounds strange but I was thrown into a wall by a dead women.

" Mandy." I said standing quickly grabbing the shocked and crying women. " We need to get your kids." I said as we ran up the stairs. The door to Eric's room was closed and I tried to open it but it was locked. " Eric... open the door please!" I yelled as the sounds of Tyler's screams filled the room. Eric opened the door and I pushed us into the room. Julia was holding onto her brother tightly as she cried, Mandy ran to her children and tried to cover their ears. " salt? anywhere in the house?" I asked out of breath from being thrown then running.

" Uh... kitchen... over the stove... why?" She asked

Before she could get an answer I was running down the stairs. It was a small bottle of salt but it would have to do. I ran back up into the room. " okay. You see that closet." I pointed to Eric's closet. " Get in it..." I said Mandy hesitated. " Now." I ordered. She hurried her kids into the small closet and got inside. " Now when I close this door, under no circumstances do you open it. Unless someone opens it do not leave this closet. You hear me?" I asked.

" But why? What was that thing.. where is my husband?" She asked in a frantic voice.

" That was a ghost trying to kill you and your family, now do as I say and that won't happen okay." I said as I was running out of patience. " Please just do it..." begged and she nodded.

I closed the door and made a line of salt in front and then ran to pick up my phone that was on the ground. I dialled the speed number quickly. " I'm almost got the grave dug up." Bobby's voice answered my question.

" Okay... just hurry it up a bit. Please." I said then hung up. The I pressed he second speed dial. " Up the stairs, Mother and kids in the closet..." I said quickly to Sam who didn't have time to talk before he was cut off by the sound of Tyler's painful screaming. I was about to say something before I stepped into the room where Cynthia was cutting at him, but she noticed and again threw me at the wall. I let out a yelp as my phone clicked off.

Then the door to the room slammed and locked. I felt Cynthia's dead eyes on me as I struggled to get up. " Please! help!" Tyler's voice called from the corner. It sounded like he was in a lot of pain.

" Alright, time to play i guess." I said to myself as I got up. " Come on..." I said waving at the pale women who looked angrier then anyone i have ever seen. " Shit..." I said when she came for me. She was quick and I was not expecting her to lash out on me. She screamed at me as she threw me around the room.

Tyler was laying in a pool of blood choking as I crashed around. I have to admit I have never been in so much pain before in my life. I could feel my bones giving in and cracking and my head begin to spin. Tyler let out a scream of pain and she dropped me to the ground with a thud. The wind was literally knocked out of me as I landed on my back. I coughed a bit as I struggled to get up.

I could hear faint voices in the halls. I wasn't very focused on that at the moment. I was more worried about Tyler dying. Sure he wasn't the best guy around but he was still a human being. " hey!" I yelled at Cynthia. She turned her head to me as she wrapped her fingers around Tyler's throat. I was about to say something when she smiled. I was confused but then she picked Tyler up off the ground, and ripped his body apart. His blood painted the walls and splattered on me.

I froze as Tyler's limp and dismembered body fell to the ground. I looked down at my self and wanted to be sick. I had blood everywhere. Then the sound of Cynthia's laugh made me panic. " Come on Bobby anytime now." I said to myself as she came closer. She threw me to the wall and then put her hands around my neck and began to squeeze.

" Clara!" I heard Sam's voice as he banged on the door. I couldn't yell out for help she I tried to fight back. But fighting with a ghost never works. She squeezed harder and harder until I could take it anymore and I felt my lungs stop inhaling.

"Clara!" Dean's voice sounded in a panic as the door came flying off it's hinges. As the door hit the ground Cynthia let go of me. I crashed to the ground gasping for air. She turned to the boys and just as she was about to advance on them she screamed and went up in flames.

I was holding myself up with one arm as I gasped for air. Sam came running over quickly followed by Dean. " Holy crap... are you okay?" Sam asked in a panic as he helped me get up.

I was still trying to get air in my lungs when he asked me. I lifted a finger to him to wait a minute. I looked down as I inhaled deeply. Once I got some air back I smiled a bit. " Yeah.. no I'm not." I said as I threw my head back in exhaustion.

They both chuckled to themselves. " Had us scared for a moment." Sam said.

" yeah jeez what the hell took you two so long?" I joked. They looked at each other and gave each other offended looks. " Relax... what I can't joke about almost dying." I laughed. " Come on help me up." I said. Dean smiled and lent me a hand. I grabbed it and he pulled me up as both brothers kept me stable.


	6. Tired

Thanks for the reviews! :) Let me know what you think :)

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He was about 5'6" and had black hair..." I explained to the cop. Mandy had dialled 911 once she got out of that closet. I told her to let me handle it but she was historical. A whole swarm of cops, and EMTs showed up really quickly. Dean tried to get us out of there before everyone showed up but it didn't work.

" Anything else?" The cop asked me. He didn't seem to believe my story that a man had broken into the house and tried to kill the family. He had this look on his face like I had something to do with it. I told Mandy that she couldn't tell people about what really happened because no one would believe her, and they would think she was crazy and she killed Tyler. Julia never let go of her brother as the sat in the ambulance together.

" Uh no..." I shook my head. He was questioning me right out side of the house and Dean stayed beside me. I hadn't talked much since we left the house. I was still covered in Tyler's blood. He staid close to me and was giving the cop dirty looks.

The man sighed. " You expect me to believe you came face to face with a man who you claim who tried to kill the Stanley family, who you have never met before this... you just happened to be in the house with Eric. And then you locked the family in the closet and tried to stop the killer, and when he killed Mr. Stanley you were standing close enough to be splattered with blood and when he attacked you, you can't tell me what he looks like?" The cops voice was full of anger and disbelief.

" Hey!" Dean snapped pushing me back a bit. " She was just attacked my a murder, saved three people, and watched a man get murdered. You could show a little compaction or respect." Dean said trying to size up the officer who was no doubt bigger then the 18-year-old. " What you think she could have killed that guy? She is 150 at most soaking wet. You think she could have over powered a man twice.. no more like three times her size?" Dean said shaking his head. " Now back off." He said grabbing my hand and pulling me away and walked to where Bobby had just pulled up.

" Damn." I whispered. Dean looked back as we walked quickly. " Thanks." I smiled and he nodded.

" Clara!" I heard Eric's voice call and I stopped just as we got to Bobby and Sam. Dean didn't let go of my hand he just stopped beside me. I turned to see Eric running for me. He didn't stop running until he wrapped his arms around me with force. I stumbled back a few steps. Dean let go of my hand as I hugged the boy back. Dean walked next to his brother and leaned with Bobby.

When Eric finally pulled away from me he smiled up at me. " What was that for?" I asked.

" You saved us." he smiled reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a small key chain with an E on it. I smiled as he placed it in my hand gently. " Thank you." He smiled as I closed my hand.

" promise me on thing Eric?" I asked as I bent down to his level. " No matter how bad something seems to get, don't give in alright?" I asked. " Your mother and sister need you around. So be string alright?" I asked.

Eric smiled at me and threw his arms around my neck and hugged me again. When he pulled away he ran off to his mothers arms. Mandy looked up at me and nodded. I had a tight grip on the key chain Eric had given me. I slipped it in my pocket and turned to walk over to Bobby.

All three boys were smiling at me as I stood in front of them. " what?" I asked. Bobby said nothing he just stepped forward and wrapped his arms tightly around me. When he squeezed pain shot up my side and I flinched a bit. I just assumed it was a bruise from being pushed over so I ignored it. " Thank you for burning Cynthia in time." I said as Bobby let go of me.

" Yeah great timing Bobby." Dean rolled his eyes and Sam laughed a bit.

" oh shut it and get in. We got a long drive back." Bobby said as he walked back around.

" Sammy." Dean called. " Wanna ride shot-gun?" He asked his little brother.

" Your joking right?" Sam asked like a five-year old.

" No. Didn't get much sleep last night, maybe I can fall asleep in the back." Dean said as Sam rushed to the front seat and jumped in before Dean could change his mind. I stared at Dean. My mouth dropped bit. " What?" he asked with a laugh as he walked around to the other side.

" I get beat up by a ghost and I don't get shot-gun? Who wrote these rules?" I joked. Dean rolled his eyes with a huff. I smiled as I got in beside him.

The ride was quiet. Sam was talking to Bobby about stuff I didn't want to listen to. Dean was snoring with his head pressed against the window. I smiled as I shrunk down in the seat. I was in a lot of pain for some reason. Every time I moved or Bobby hit a bump a shot of pain went through my side. I tried my best to stay still.

My eyes were slowly closing because I was just so tired. I felt my body move, well more like slide over and land on something hard. My eyes opened a bit and when I noticed it was Dean shoulder I didn't bother moving. He was fast asleep as well and I was sure he wouldn't mind.

The sound of the car door slamming shut made me and Dean jump. We were both fast asleep. Then woken quickly we were breathing deeply. I looked over at him and he sighed as he got out of the car. As I moved the pain in my side was getting worse. The sun was just about to come up and I still needed some sleep.

" Well I don't know about you three," I started as I headed for the house. I had to hold onto my side it hurt so much. " But I need more than an hour of sleep. Apparently getting thrown around takes it out of you." I smiled as I walked to the house they were just behind me. They all seemed to chuckle.

" Hey Clara?" Bobby asked. I turned my head and stopped to look at him. " Something wrong with your side?" He asked noticing me hold it tightly.

" Nah, just sore." I smiled. " Well goodnight gentlemen, this was fun. Let's do it again sometime...just not for a while." I smiled as I walked back in.

When I got to the house before the boys I removed my hand from my side and at the sigh of a small pool of blood I took off into my room up the stairs. I shut the door quickly and started taking my t-shirt. There was a hole in it and blood started dripping down my side and on the ground. I rushed to the mirror by my bed and when I looked at the pain source I almost fainted. There was a wide piece of glass sticking from my side and now I could feel it.

" shit." I swore as I quickly stripped my tank tip off and all that was left was my now stained jeans and my sports bra. I couldn't reach the piece of glass. I tried bending every which way and I just ended up grunting in pain. I panicked when I heard Sam and Dean's voices from the hall.

" Clara?" Sam asked. " Are you alright?" He asked.


	7. Help me please I can't reach

Hey everyone... I hope you don't mind but I a going to change Clara's last name to Walsh instead of Shaw. I'll go back in my chapters and change them all later but... from now on it's Clara Walsh.

Anyways... new chapter. Review if you like! :) O! and to the reader who asked if this is a Dean/oc story.. it deff is! and some Sam/Garcia.. when I get to the Criminal minds section, not to hard core more like flirting and crushes ;)

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" Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" I tried to laugh but it sounded more painful.

" I don't know, maybe it's the blood trail leading to your room is what has us wondering." Dean sounded less than amused.

" Blood? Your crazy." I said still trying to get at the glass.

" Clara let us in." Dean demanded.

" No. I'm fine." I said in a panic. I slowly reached around myself and was just a finger's length from grabbing it but I still couldn't reach. " Shit." I swore again. Then they started knocking on the door. I quickly grabbed my shirt and threw it back on. I rushed to the door and opened it a bit. " OMG WHAT?" I was annoyed.

They said nothing they just looked at me with wide eyes as their eyes went to where my hand was resting on the door. I looked down and saw all the blood they were seeing. I quickly put my hand behind my back and smiled.

" That is a lot of blood." Sam pointed.

" Yeah.. paper cut." I lied.

They both laughed. "Sure it is." Dean rolled his eyes.

" ugh. Fine." I opened the door and let them in. They looked around and saw the blood tracing the floor. "I can't exactly reach... I would be fine others wise." I pointed out.

" Would you stop." Dean said taking a step closer. " I'm sure it isn't as bad as your making it out to be." He rolled his eyes.

" Really?" I asked as I slowly rolled my shirt up. He looked down at me funny but when I stopped at the glass his sighed. " So where does that qualify on your scale of how bad something is?" I asked. " Because I would think that's pretty freaking bad." I narrowed my eyes at him.

" shit... how did... when did that happen?" he asked stepping closer looking at my side.

" I don't know. Just did. Now can one of you please just pull it out." I asked looking to Sam.

Sam looked nervous as he looked at the long gash with glass sticking from it. " ok...um.." He looked me over.

" DEAN!" Bobby's voice called angrily from down stairs.

" One minute!" Dean called back.

" Now! I got a bone to pick with you!" Bobby yelled.

Dean looked to me. " YOu should go before he gets really mad." I smiled. " Just don't tell him about this..." I said looking down at Sam.

" Sammy just be careful." he looked at me and smiled nervously.

" He will do fine." I said as he reached up and touched. " ouch." I flinched and fake smiled to Dean who was hesitate about leaving. Dean finally left and I turned to Sam. " Okay doctor Sam, be gentle please." I closed my eyes.

" I'm just gonna take it out then get some bandages." He said taking a gentle hold of the glass. " on three?" He asked. " one..." I was scared. " two..." I took a deep breath. " Three." And with that and one fluid thrust Sam pulled the piece of glass from my side.

" Ah!" I tried not to scream but I couldn't help. It wasn't as loud as I thought. I was breathing quickly as Sam ran to the bathroom and grabbed a towel and bandages and tape.

" You okay?" He asked.

" Yeah... just hurry..." I said breathing deeply.

It took Sam just under an hour to get the bleeding to stop. He was holding the towel for a long time before Dean came back. Sam looked sick as he looked at the blood on his hands. " Go wash that off and I'll stitch." He said relieving Sam. I said nothing. I just wanted the pain to stop. " Next time we go together." He said in a stern voice.

" I hear that." I agreed. " so what did Bobby have to say?" I asked as he started to weave the thread into my skin. It hurt but not as much as Sam pulling the glass out.

" Oh you know the usual." He rolled his eyes. "Didn't like hearing you went into that house alone." He said.

" What else was I supposed to do?" I asked, but Dean didn't answer. I stood in front of him as he sat on the bed and closed my wound. Some time had passed before I talked again. " Thanks for telling that cop off."

" You thanked me already." He pointed out.

" I did?" I had actually forgotten that. " Well still thanks." I smiled.

" Yeah sure." He said his face very cold and straight forward. " There." He said as he finished and cut the thread and placed a bandage on it. He got up, walked to the bathroom ran the water then came back out and headed for the door.

" Thank you." I said again sitting down. For some reason the whole day had suddenly came to me. I could feel the tear in my eye but held it back. " Wait.. Dean what's wrong?" I asked.

" Nothing." He reached for the door knob.

" Don't lie." I said. " You haven't said much since we go back. Seriously what's wrong?" I got up painfully. He said nothing and just sighed. " You know this isn't your fault right?" I asked.

" Yeah sure." He laughed to himself.

" Dean it isn't."

" Then why do I feel so guilty?" He asked quickly turning around.

" I don't know? But you shouldn't."

" I never should have let you go into that house." He huffed.

I laughed. " No offence tough guy but you couldn't have stopped me if you tried." I smiled sitting back down feeling dizzy. " You knew my dad right?" I asked and he nodded. "Did you ever notice how stubborn he could be?" Dean smirked a bit and nodded. " Well I am like ten times worse." I smiled proudly. " So no matter what you did or said would have stopped me. So stop it." I smiled again as I pushed myself into my bed and laid on my back.

" What about you?" He asked stepping back into my room.

" What about me?" I asked turning my head.

" You did just see a guy get ripped apart... not something you see everyday." he shrugged crossing his arms.

I pushed myself on my elbows. " is the part where you try to tell me what I saw wasn't something to be afraid of or anywhere along those lines?" I asked.

" Yeah kinda." He shrugged as he sat at the bottom of the bed. " but seriously. I know how I felt after I saw my first dead body... I was freaked." Dean smiled.

The smiled faded from my face. "Tyler Stanley is not the first dead body I have seen." I said shaking my head. His eyes widened a bit, he was confused. Now I had to explain eve though he was there. I sat up and pulled my legs into my body and wrapped my arms around him. " I did watch my dad get ripped to shreds by an invisible dog a few months ago." I said to him.

" Oh... Right." he sighed.

" And just so you know... that is what I am afraid. Not some pissed off spirit, or a blood crazy vamp, or any other monsters in those books Bobby has." I said standing quickly. I was angry again. Not at Dean more at the fact he brought it up. Sure it wasn't his fault but I was still mad. " I am afraid of the things I can't see. The things that ripped my dad apart. The things that collected on the deal he made for me." I said with anger in my voice and he noticed.

" Look I didn't mean to start anything." he said standing up quickly. "Relax okay..." he tried to calm me down. " I know what is like." He tried.

I huffed at him and narrowed my eyes. " Relax?" I questioned him. No matter how mad someone seems to be you never tell a woman to relax. That's when the one tear fell again. He took a step back at the sight of the tear. Like always I whipped it away quickly and not another fell. " Tell you what Dean, when your father makes a deal for your life and is literally ripped away from you, can you know what that is like. But you don't." I said with anger in my voice. I grabbed the door knob and walked out quickly and slammed it behind me.

I rushed down the stairs and out the front door. Everything seemed to much. I know I should have been used to talking about my dad, but I'm not. I should be used to the way Winchesters acted at the face of danger and death, but I wasn't. It had been almost six months since that day and it still hurt.

I walked quickly into the junk yard behind Bobby's house and found my dad's car. Bobby had covered it with a tarp. I didn't bother removing it I just ducked into the front passenger seat. I pulled my legs to my body again and that's when all the tears fell. The pain in my side and in heart was over flowing and if I held it in anymore I would explode.

Hunters are supposed to be tough. Hunters aren't supposed to cry alone in their dead parent's cars. They are supposed to face nightmares and monsters and kick ass. They are supposed to save lives, not get people killed. Ho was I supposed to be one of them if I couldn't even handle one dead guy. If I was going to go through with this I was gonna have to get more cold, like John or Bobby.

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Hope you like! Oh and FYI Bobby and John's falling out isn't going to be like in the show. Later on.. well soon :)


	8. Phone call

Sorry for the long update... well here is more. Hope you like :)

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I was alone for a good three hours. I kept my head down in the dark car and tried to remember all the good times me and my dad shared in this car. There were many but now all I could think about was this, and his journal was all I had left of him. My hand went around my neck and felt the necklace. It was long enough for me to see when I played with it.

" Clara?" A familiar voice called. I said nothing. I didn't want to be bothered. Then the footsteps got closer. I sighed as the person stepped into the back seat. " Clara what are you doing out here?" John's voice asked from behind me. My eyes never left the dash bored and necklace. " I heard you had an interesting day in the field. First hunt... how was it?" he as nudging me a bit.

" Fine." I answered. He huffed not satisfied with the answer. "Mom, little girl and boy are fine... but dad didn't make it." I said. "Spirit killed him quickly." I shrugged.

" You can't save everybody Clara." John said. " That's the job." he said. " Now you have to get used to it." He sighed.

" You sound like your son." I huffed. " What is it with you people. When did ghosts and monsters stop being scary stories and become real?" I shook my head.

" Well for me, it was the day my wife was taken from me. For my boys to. And for you it was when your father died." John said placing a hand on my shoulder. "You are a tough girl Clara you'll get through this. Your not alone." He said.

"Yeah." I shook my head. " But if I don't want to be. What if I don't want this?" I asked turning around to face hime.

" Clara, your father did everything he could to protect you from evil but now... I believe he would have wanted you to be a hunter. It is passed down from generation." John sighed.

" Doesn't seem fair." I said shaking my head.

" From now on Clara, no much is going to be fair." He said. "And I'm truly sorry but there isn't much I can do about that." He said. " Just try to see the good side. We save people. Doesn't get better than that."

" And the ones we don't?" I asked.

" Like I said, We can't save them all." John said. He then got out of the car.

I sat alone for a few minutes. I sighed and the got out. John was leaning on the outside and smiled at me. I smiled back and we walked back to the house. I went up stairs and didn't pay attention to where John had gone.

I walked into my room when I noticed my lights were turned off. I looked around and half smiled when I saw the reason why. Dean was laying on one side of my bed. He must have laid down just to calm down and fallen asleep. I grabbed a pair of shorts from my drawers and a tank top. I snuck into the bathroom changed. The day had gone by quickly and the sun was going down.

I tip toed back to my bed trying not to wake Dean. He was asleep and I didn't want to wake him. I laid down slowly. I never noticed how small my bed actually was. I was laying next to Dean without even realizing it. My eyes started to close a bit before Dean turned my way. His eyes still closed and he sighed.

" I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.."

" Me to." I said my eyes closing a bit. I could just see the small smile that flashed on his face before my eyes completely closed.

When the sun came up the next morning and my eyes opened Dean wasn't next to me anymore. I had to admit it was nice knowing I didn't have to be lone. His company was just nice, Sam as well. Waking up alone wasn't the best but I got up and walked down the stairs to find Sam and Dean sitting around the table.

" What we reading this morning boys?" I asked as I walked over and sat next to Sam. He smiled at me and I smiled brightly back.

" Bobby left a note." Sam answered. " Him and Dad went on a hunt."

" Won't be back for a while." Dean filled in.

" So what does that mean?" I asked.

" Means we got from about a week to two weeks off." Dean smiled at Sam.

" Been a while." Sam sighed sitting back in his chair.

" You guys really don't stick around one place long do you?" I asked noticing how happy they seemed to have two weeks to themselves.

" Not as much as we need." Sam pointed out.

"So you got big plans for your days off boys?" I asked walking over to the sink getting a glass of water.

" probably just read." Sam said.

" wow calm down, don't get to out of hand." Dean said and I laughed along with him.

"nothing wrong with reading Sam. I once spent a whole summer vacation reading books by just about any author. Must have read at least 20 or 30 books." I smiled and he looked interested. "Romeo and Juliet, war and peace, anything by Stephen King." I smiled

" really?" He asked. " I haven't read much other than history text books or lore on the kind of thing we are hunting."

" Seriously?" I asked not believing him.

" Stephen King?" he asked.

" I swear if you don't know who he is I will smack you." I said pointing my finger to him. Sam just shrugged. "Alright job one, get dressed and come to the book store down the street with me." I smiled at him and he seemed excited.

" wow nerds!" Dean said standing putting his cup of coffee in the sink. I laughed at him. " I'm gonna go see if this little town has anything better to do." he winked at me and left quickly.

That day was spent with Sam. I picked out a good selection of books for him to read. Not all Stephen King of course but just classic ones he should read. When We got back to Bobby's Dean was still not back so we ended up talking about just about anything that came to mind. Sam was so full of ideas and passion he could never really show around his dad. Sam was very clear that him and his father did not see eye to eye about most things. I asked Sam questions about life of the road with his brother and father and if he could would he change his life. He always said no, but a part of me wanted to think he would love to quit and be something better than just a hunter.

It's amazing how much you can learn about someone in a day. I felt me and Sam were one hundred times closer by the end of the day then I would have ever thought. We laughed about a lot of things and we even talked about his mother. I never talked about my dad but Sam understood.

Sam went to bed early that night with a book in his hands. I'm sure he was laying in his bed with the light on for hours. I staid down stairs and re read Romeo and Juliet. It was one of my favourites. The sun was going down when I heard someone come to the front door. I didn't even thin twice. I just kept reading.

" Well you know how it is." Dean was talking to someone when he walked in. I watched as he ignored I was there as he walked into the kitchen. He kept talking but I went back to my book. It was obvious he was talking to a girl. He clicked his phone off after a few minutes. " Women." He sighed.

He walked back into the living room still not noticing I was there. " So! How was your day?" I smiled up at him. Out of the corner of my eye I watched as he jumped. I giggled as I sat up.

" Holy..." he said a bit put off. " I didn't even see you."

" You see what you wanna see." I smiled as I stood up and walked past him toward the stairs.

" What does that mean?" He asked.

" Means what ever you want it to mean." I turned with a smile. " I imagine you had an interesting day, given the love struck teenagers what all have your number." I said as his phone started ringing.

He smirked. " Well can you blame them?" he winked.

" No, they must not have enough brain to walk away." I winked back.

" oh come on. That was jus mean." He complained. " Hey where's Sam?" He asked following me up the stairs.

" In there." I pointed to the room at the end of the hall. The door was closed but you could tell the light was still on. " Been there for a while." I smiled.

" What you think he's doing." Dean started to walk ahead of me.

" Stop." I put my arm out stopping him. " He's readin' leave him be." I ordered.

" reading?" Dean questioned. I smiled at him. " What's so good about that?" he said as he followed me into my room.

" I don't know, brain growth, imagination... escape." I threw my arms up exhausted.

" Escape? Why would he need that?" He asked as he sat on the edge of my bed.

I was headed for the bathroom to change into my PJs when I stopped at the door and turned. " Do you really not know what goes through your little brothers mind half the time?" I asked Dean placing my hands on my hips.

" Of corse I do." Dean said defensively.

"Really?" I asked. " Then tell me, what does Sam really think of hunting?" I asked. I stood for a minute but Dean didn't answer. I rolled my eyes and walked into the bathroom. I figured I would give him a minute to think it over.

I changed from my jeans to shorts and a tank top. I was usually and person who kept to myself, but around Sam and Dean I really didn't care. It's like I had just been myself and not the version of me I pretended to be. Being 16 you would think I was self contentious around two good-looking heroes but, I didn't care what I wore or what I looked like. They never seemed to notice or mind.

I walked out and Dean looked like he had thought very hard. I hung up my jeans and folded my sweater. He then snapped his fingers and smiled. " you think you are so smart." He shook his head leaning back on my bed.

" Oh I don't think... I know." I smiled standing by my dresser. He sat up again ans smiled. " Alright what is it?"

" You think I don't know my brother?" he shook his head. I shrugged as I walked over and sat next to him. I sat cross-legged waiting for him to go on. "On one hand he likes helping people, Sammy has always been the do gooder and the bleeding heart. So he likes that." I sighed deeply. " but.." He cut me off from saying anything. " But he wants to be normal." He got serious. " More than anything that kid just wants to be normal. And I wish he could be. I wish Sam could be normal and we could have that white picket fence... but that's just not how it works." Dean hung his head.

" Well you know you could have that kind of life. You could be normal." I suggested. Dean exhaled and rolled his eyes. "Have you ever talked to your father about it?"

" Clara. With my father there is no talking. There is just an order and you follow." he said more serious than anything.

" But I'm sure if you and Sam just..."

" No." he snapped standing quickly. " You don't get it. We don't get that choice. Our normal life went out the window when I was four. It's the job we were meant to do and we will."

" Because John says so?" I asked. " Dean you going to follow your father's orders your entire life?" I asked just trying to calm him down but it wasn't working. Why did everything seem to get so dramatic with Dean.

He shook his head. " You have no idea what it's like growing up like this." He said. "My father did all of this to protect us from what was hiding under the bed. And I am very sure your father would have taught you the same if he gotten the chance." He said a bit loudly.

"Well he didn't." I said looking down at my necklace. I didn't look back up but I could tell Dean knew he went to far. " And even if my dad had raised me like John did, I would still want a life Sam dreams about. I still want that house on main street and a family that is safe and won't be torn away from me." I said coldly. " Unlike you I have a mind of my own." I snapped.

Dean narrowed his eyes at me and stormed out of my room slamming the door. I could hear his mumbling all the way back to his room. I shook my head and hated him at the moment. I played with my necklace as I sat alone in my room what was slowly getting darker.

I grabbed a match from my night stand and lit the candle I left beside my bed. I prefer candle light over a bulb. Never knew why, just seemed calming and right now I needed to be calm. I must have sat in the same stop for at least two hours before I sighed and reached for my phone. I could hear footsteps coming back to my door but as I dialled I forgot about them.

"Leave a message." Bobby's voice was stern and to the point. I took a deep breath as the beep went off.

" Bobby, It's Clara." I sighed. " Hi." I smiled to myself. " I know you and John are busy saving the world and all but I just needed you to hear this." I took another deep breath. " I have never really been good at showing feelings for people. And don't worry I'm not going all sappy girl on you but... I just need you to know that I thank God everyday for you. I know it has only been a few months since you got stuck with me and most of the time you were off. And granted having a teenager just dropped on you isn't very fair and I'm sorry but I'm glad you got stuck with me." I looked down at the floor keeping the phone close to me. "And I kinda need you to be okay. Not dying in an ally alone, or being eaten. I need you to be okay. John to. I need you two to be okay, and alive. You're all I have left. So be careful, you know for me. Please?" I asked with a sigh and then hung up the phone.

It was quiet for a minute. Then without a word my door opened quickly and two pair of foot steps came closer to me. I didn't even get a chance to look up before they jumped me.


	9. My Family

" I don't know what you think is going to happen but we ain't goin anywhere." Sam threw his arms around me first and tightly. He had come from no where and attacked me with a giant hug. I laughed as soon as I heard his voice.

" you were eavesdropping." I pointed out.

" Couldn't help it." Dean said as he sat next to me with a sad smile. I looked over at him for a minute. He placed a hand on my hand resting on my leg. " Sorry." Was all he had to say and I smiled. I threw my arms around hims quickly.

" I doubt I could ever be mad at you." I whispered quietly. He chuckled and hugged me tightly.

I swear even though Sam was just about a month older then me and Dean was at least three years older sometimes they could look like such kids. Their big bright and darker green eyes. For such troubled pasts their smiles could still light up a room.

"Clara, you know your secret is safe with us." Sam winked.

" What secret?" I asked.

" Oh that you like us." he smiled and sat up straight. " That's why you keep us around. Something good to look at." He smiled very proud of his remark.

" I don't know Sam... all that hair." I shook my head as I ran a hand through all his hair.

"HA! I told you!" Dean pointed and laughed at his brother.

"Shut up." He got up quickly and ran to the bathroom. He came back with a pair of siccors. " Could you?" Sam asked handing me them. I took them and made him sit on the floor. I would make him clean up the hair later.

" Alright." Dean said after a few minutes of quiet. " I gotta ask."

" Ask what?" I looked to him quickly and then back to Sam's hair.

"What is with the whole..." He couldn't put it into words so he just pointed at my hair face and what I was wearing.

" What do you mean?" I laughed.

" I mean your gonna be 17 and like what is happening..." he said looking over to me. " Every single girl I have ever met your age or younger is the exact opposite." He huffed in confusion. " I mean they take twenty minutes to fix the massive amounts of hair on their heads, another forty to put make up on, and then take like an hour to find what to wear!" He said. " I mean even I take longer to fix my hair then you do." He admitted. I laughed because he didn't realize he admitted it. " I mean like what? Are you just... I don't even know how to phrase that."

" Dean!" Sam barked.

"What? You are wondering the same thing. I was juts wondering... didn't mean to offend her." He said back.

I laughed again. " Oh boys, trust me I am not offended. A bit flattered you even noticed." I smiled.

" What do you mean?" Sam asked looking up. I made him put his head back.

I sighed. "I don't know. I guess I never really cared because I had no one to impress or anyone who cared." I shrugged.

Dean laughed. " Yeah right." He said.

" Well we can't all have people lining up for them like you." I shook my head.

" Well there must have been a friend, or boyfriend." Sam asked.

" To be really honest. You two are kind the only friends I have ever had...Well except for Jack, but that was a long time ago." I said looking to Dean who instantly remember the story. " So no one really cared so why should I." I shrugged going back to Sam's head.

" I don't believe that." Dean said.

" Dean I was the only daughter of the town drunk, the daughter who killed her mother and brother just by being born, not to mention the year I spent in the hospital." I said with a smiled. " Now tell me, if you were a regular school kid running on the play ground. Would you stop and talk to me?" I asked.

" Yes." he smiled.

" No, because I wouldn't. You just have to say that because your my friend." I smiled. " wait... you got a problem with the way I look?" I asked pointing the blades at Dean.

" No ma'am." He put his hands up with a smile.

" Good, cause at the rate I'm going looks like I'm staying like this." I smiled as I evened out Sam's hair. " there!" I said rustling it. " Now go get a broom and sweep all your hair up... please." I ordered and Sam did.

That night the three of us staid up most of the night talking. I would listen to stories they had about hunts and their lives. Dean would laugh every time Sam tried to deny he ran away from something. Sam would get red in the face but I would just put an arm around him and say "that's okay, the one who runs kind lives." and we would all laugh. For me it was one of the best nights I have ever had in a long time. Sam was the first to fall asleep right at the edge of the bed. Dean continued talking for a bit before we both fell asleep. All three of us were in one bed and it was the most safe I have ever felt.

That was tuesday night. The rest of the week would go by something like that. We would go out for lunch after I cooked breakfast. They said it was they best home cooked meal they had ever had, so I kept making them bacon and eggs in the morning. Two boys have never looked so happy. When we went out for lunch Dean would flirt with the young waitresses and buy us all lunch. Sam and his salads, and Dean with his bacon cheese burger, it was like clock work. Most of the nights we would stay up playing cards or just talking. Most of the time Sam fell asleep on the couch. Dean would always seem to fall asleep next to me. I felt safe and it was nice knowing someone was there when I yelled out.

The only thing left of my side was a long jagged scar that Dean and Sam said looked bad ass. I laughed every time they mentioned it. They were sweet to make me feel better about a large mark I couldn't fix. I wished every night before my eyes closed that life could just continue on like this for ever. I would be happy and my boys would be safe. And yes they were my boys now. My best friends and my family.

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Review if you like :)


	10. Her

Okay so from now on the story kinda switches POV... this one is Dean's.

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The way she woke up next to me every morning made me wish night would come faster. Her eyes were the perfect shade of brown and she didn't need anything to make her look any better. Falling for a friend is so cliché now a days so I won't call it that. I'll just say if I woke up next to Clara every morning and got to spend the day with her, I would be happy.

Sammy was loving having her as his friend. He wasn't shy to tell her anything. Sure he held things back from be, who doesn't have secrets from their brother but to Clara he was an open book. I haven't seen Sam that happy in a long time.

That whole week was one of the best weeks I can remember. But all good things end. Friday night was when it ended for us. Bobby's car came peeling into the drive, followed by my father's Impala in the dead of the night. I was still awake when I heard the rocks fly and the doors slam. Clara was fast asleep just inches from me. When she began to have a nightmare she would reach out and I was always there. It made me feel needed and wanted.

Once the front door opened her eyes shot open and she pulled away from me and raced for the door. " BOYS!" My father called.

I followed Clara down the stairs as Bobby and my father walked in. Clara went to talk to Bobby but he just pushed past her and walked out the back. She turned to talk to him but my dad cut her off.

" Clara? Where is Sam and Dean?" He asked her.

" Sam's sleeping." I said finally making it to the end of the stairs.

" Well go get him. We are leaving. Work needs to be done." John said.

" What? What do you mean?" Clara started to asked. I was going to but I knew my dad would just yell his orders back.

I walked slowly and angrily to the top of the stairs where I saw Sammy just standing there with his clothes on and his bag packed. He looked sad, to be honestly the most unhappy kid I have ever seen. I shook my head and started to pack my things from my room.

" So much for normal?" Sam said as I passed him and he sulked down the stairs. I heard my father's voice say something but I chose not to listen. I hated when my father did this. We would get comfortable somewhere and then he would make us leave. Usually it didn't seem so hard. Now we were leaving someone behind.


	11. Going somewhere?

And back to Clara's POV

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When John walked in I started to panic. I though something had gone wrong and Bobby was hurt, or worse. But when Bobby pushed past me without a word I knew something was wrong. John looked pissed off. The look on Dean's face as he walked back up the stairs made me worry.

" Where are you going?" I asked John as I followed him out side.

" My boys and I have work to do." He said as he stood by the truck and went through some of his things.

" What happened with you and Bobby?" I asked.

" Nothing. Just a... nothing." he hesitated. He turned to me quickly and noticed the panic in my voice and eyes. " I'm sorry but this may be the last time I see you for a while." He said leaning on the Impala.

" What? Why? Why do you all have to leave?" I asked as Sam walked out of the door. His head hung and a bag in his hands.

" We just do." John answered. He said as he placed a hand on my shoulder. " But don't worry. Bobby will make sure you are safe and know how to protect yourself." He assured me. "You'll be fine." John said as he smiled kindly and walked back into the house.

" What does he mean by a while." I asked Sam who threw his bags in the car.

" He means for a long time, probably for a really long time." Sam sighed. He looked so sad and I couldn't handle the puppy eyes.

" Which mean I won't get to see you or Dean." I stated and Sam nodded sadly. " oh Sammy." I said as tears welled in my eyes. Before I could stop we both hugged each other. I heard him wimpier a bit as he sniffed.

"I am going to miss you." he said sadly and quietly.

" Hey, you got my number. When ever you want to run away from home you just come okay. Anytime time you need just someone to talk to." I said squeezing him. He nodded. " I mean it. I don't care what time it is. You need me you call." I said in all seriousness as I pulled away and held him by the shoulders. " Promise?" I asked.

" Yes." he smiled sadly again. " Thanks Clara." he said as I hugged him again.

" for what Sammy?" I asked.

" For showing me and Dean we could have a somewhat normal life." he smiled. " And if you ever need us..."

" I know." I whipped a tear from my eyes. He sighed as he looked at me then up at the window on the second story. He got in the car as I looked up at the window and saw Dean pass it with an angry look.


	12. Leaving

Dean's POV

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"Dean!" My father called. " Hurry up." he said as he walked back outside. I stood by my window and watched on of the most heart breaking good byes. I mean if you were sitting in a movie theatre watching Sam and Clara hug and you didn't cry, you are probably a heartless robot. I felt awful that this had to happen again.

" John. Sam's waiting in the car. " I heard Clara's voice. It sounded like she was hurting.

" Could you get Dean to hurry it up."

" Yeah sure. Just give me a sec." She said as her foot steps got closer.

I took a deep breath when I heard the door open and close. I couldn't look at her. I couldn't say goodbye like Sam had. It looked to hard. I was never the type to deal with feelings so I didn't know what to do. She stood leaning on the closed door watching me fold and throw clothes into the bag.

I was rushing and she said nothing. She came closer and I made sure to look away. I think she noticed what I was trying to do. If I pushed away she wouldn't feel so much hurt. I turned my back to her but at the touch of her hand on my shoulder I turned and pulled her in for a hug. She wasn't expecting such an intense hug. I could feel her smile press on my chest as her head rest nicely.

" if you ever..." She paused. " Just don't forget okay?"

" Forget?" I questioned looking down at her sad eyes.

"You and Sam. Don't forget what it's like to have friends, people who care, and a place to go when you need to run away." She said with a smile. "Don't forget about those who care about you." She said meaning herself as she hugged me tighter.

" Now how could I forget such a stubborn pain in my ass." I joked and she laughed as she pulled away.

I grabbed my bag and before I could leave I looked back to Clara. She was standing just behind me. She tried to smile as a tear threatened to fall. All the time I knew her I have only ever seen one fall. And the one tear always meant something. It was always the most painful. I tried to smile back at her but it was hard. I knew the chances of seeing her again were very slim. I knew my father was pissed and never let anything go.

As I went to leave the room I caught a glimpse of that one tear falling. I couldn't just leave her like that. I dropped my bag and without even thinking I smiled a bit and walked quickly. I placed both arms around her. She was't even sure what I was doing before I leaned down and pressed my lips against her gently. It only lasted for a minute before I had to pull away. I didn't look back this time. I walked out the door, grabbed my bag and ran down the stairs.

I raced to the Impala and threw my bag in the back. I hopped in the front next to my father. I took on last look at Bobby's house. I took a second to see the smile on Clara's face as she stopped at the door. She waved a small wave and I told my father to leave. We left that place in the dust and I looked back to Sam who had his head buried in his sweater. I sighed. Who knows where were going or why. I kept quiet.


	13. Goodbye

When Dean stopped at the door and looked back at me I had to smile. He looked so sure of himself. I thought he was just trying to make himself feel better about John making him leave. I looked down for a second and before I knew it he dropped his bag and rushed to me. I was ready for another hug but what I got was one thousand times better.

He kissed me gently and quickly. It made my heart jump and the butterflies fly. I knew he loved me, as in a friend and I did to but did he feel more. As much as I wanted him to kiss me again it left me wondering. So I had to watch them leave. I had to make sure they were gone. I raced to the door jus as Dean got in the front. I waved to him and Sam and they both smiled sadly. I smiled when he did and watched the dust fly everywhere.

Bobby never talked about the falling out him and John had. I had asked him countless times but i never got an answer. He barley spoke of the boys. When I would bring it up you could tell it hurt him. I missed Sam and Dean so much. I went to bed alone, and woke up alone. I no longer felt safe and cared for. Sure Bobby did his best to make sure I knew what I was doing. But he was very strict about me having an education.

He made sure I went to school and had good grades. I had nothing better to do. I would go along with Bobby on his hunts and I got pretty good at it. It made me feel like I was making a difference. But homework was always done first.

Almost five went by quickly. I grew into my body finally, I made amazing grades in school and according to Bobby the second best hunter he has ever met. Him being first of corse. I grew a few inches and was 5'4''. My body finally realized it was time to grow some features. Curved hips, thin enough legs but I was not a stick. I had a nice hourglass figure, but believe me when I say I was not skinny. C cup bra and all. My hair turned a lighter brown and my face finally matched the rest of me.

I was no longer the flat chested, walking stick I used to me. Bobby always seemed to ignore the obvious changes because he thought it made him old. I just turned 22 and when Bobby suggested I made a use for myself other than hunting I was shocked.

" are you serious?" I asked not believing him.

" Yes. Clara your smart and you should not waste that brain of yours in a house with an old drunk." He complained.

" Your not old!" I would always remind him.

" Oh shut up and just do it. I don't care what it is but make something of yourself." He smiled.

In that five years the only phone call I got was from Sam. He called a few months after they left. He said he missed me and Bobby. he told me Dean was the same but they still couldn't come back. I must have left him and Dean a hundred messages but John must have gotten them new phones. Sure it hurt they never called but I didn't blame them. If I was mad at anyone it would have been John and Bobby for holding a grudge for so long.

Between finishing high school, hunting, taking a year and a half from school I decided Bobby was right. I had worked my ass off at a local dinner. I made good tips and wages. Sure showing some cleavage and flirting a bit always got me extra but I didn't mind. I had this body for a reason, why not use it to get the thing I want; out of the hunting world.

I applied to Harvard, and Stanford. I was really interested in Law. So I applied to their pre-law and criminology courses. Harvard was a long shot and when I wasn't accepted I wasn't to heart-broken. Stanford accepted my application to their pre-law programs if I kept my marks up. I knew it would be easy because I was fine with reading and studying.

" Bobby." I said as I stood at the door with the letter in my hands.

"Yeah?" He asked.

" I got in. Stanford pre law..." I turned and he smiled. " Full ride if I keep my grades!" I almost yelled. He smiled again and I rushed to hug him. He chuckled and I could tell he was happy.

" That's my girl. Smarty pants." He joked. " Now come on you got more to learn kiddo." He said as I followed him out back. For the last three years I had taken a big interest in cars. Bobby had many cars just sitting and I thought He could make some money if he fixed them up. I wanted to help so I let him teach me everything. Usually he would end up drinking a beer while I do the fixing. I was good, really good and it wasn't hard.

My father's car was still sitting in the garage. I hadn't touch it since I sat with John in it over five and a half years ago. I wanted to fix it up so I could drive it. My dad left it to me so I should drive it eventually. I made sure that car was in top shape before I was ready to leave for school.

Fresh paint, new rims, a few pieces of a motor to replace and it was purring like a lion having its belly rubbed. When I started it for the first time I smiled and closed my eyes. It was a beautiful car and I knew my dad loved it and so did I. Now I just had to deal with the truck. Last thing I need is campus security finding his shot guns, and machetes.

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Sorry for the wait. I know some of you really like it! :) I'm glad people read this... anyways, tell me if you like and please if it isn't to much trouble review please :) thanks!


	14. New Start

The drive up to California was long and lonely. I said goodbye to Bobby but promised I would be back every month. I also told him if he ever needed my help with something to just call and I would be on my way. I listened to the radio but the new music was hurting my ears so I just hummed Hey Jude like always.

When I pulled into the school it was intense and awesome. It was huge but not a lot of students walking around. I registered for all my classes easily and found my residence on campus with no problems. I only had my clothes and a few random trinkets to put in my room. I had a roommate. Her name was Patty. She didn't talk much and when she did it was her preaching about Jesus and the judgment day. She was very religious.

I was walking along the side-walk when I literally ran into someone one. She was my height and blonde. " OH!" She said as we both stumbled. " I am so sorry. " She smiled.

" Oh that's okay. I should have paid more attention to runners." I laughed and so did she.

She nodded and the ran off. The sun was going down when I decided to turn in. My roommate was already sleeping and I found myself laying and just staring at the ceiling. I reached to my night table and dialled a number I haven't tried in a while.

" The number you are trying to reach is busy or unavailable. Please leave a message." I waited for the beep.

" Hi, it's Clara. I know it's been a while and this is random but I miss you, and Sam and John. Dean please just let me know your alright. It's been five years...Just a sign is all I'm asking for. A sign to let me know my boys are alright." Then I hung up as my eyes started to fill with water.

Over the five years I had been so worried about them. Sam only called for the first year then nothing. I missed them all like crazy and I was alone. I went to bed alone, I would have nightmares and when I reached out for someone no one was there, and when I woke up I was alone.

The first few weeks were like I imagined. Boring professes talking in monotone voices. The things they taught were uninteresting and not what I wanted. But I knew I had to get used to it. Four years of this I could graduate, and do what I wanted. I know it sounds odd and coming from a hunter it sounds stupid but I wanted to be an FBI agent. I wanted to go after serial killers and catch them. I wanted to be a profiler. I read it in a brochure, it sounded worth while and exciting.

I hadn't made any new friends and I figured it was a good idea. I spent time in bars and coffee shops studying and talking to others I knew from classes. Patty became much more talkative and I got her to stop preaching about the Lord. Her and I became really good friends with in a week.

" Hey. Don't I know you?" A pretty blonde surprised me as me and Patty were sitting at the bar. Patty was slowly drinking a beer. I have not ever taken one drink of alcohol. I saw what it did to my father and Bobby and I did not want that. Plus I knew how people acted when they were drunk.

" Um I don't think so?" I said turning to face her. " Oh yea.. you ran into me the first week of school. You were running and I wasn't paying attention." I smiled.

" Oh right. Well its weird, that was the first time I tried jogging." she laughed as she sat down.

" First time for everything I guess." I smiled back.

" So what are you studying?" She asked.

" Criminology." I said. "You?" I asked.

" Nursing." She smiled. I could tell she had a few drinks. "I'm Jessica by the way. Jessica Moore." She smiled.

" Clara Walsh." I smiled back.

" Clara I just have to say I love your neck lace." She pointed out.

" Oh thanks. It belonged to my mother." I smiled.

"How sweet. You know it's not often people keep things family gives them." Jessica smiled.


	15. Sometimes When you don't expect it

The next few months weren't any different only I found myself spending more time with Jessica too. She was a very high energy and excited person. She had recently gotten a boyfriend that she went on and on about. She never told me his name for some reason. I enjoyed listening to her little stories about how thoughtful and kind he was. She had mentioned to me she might be falling for him. I thought it was sweet people still fell in love.

" You know you have been talking about this guy for like four months." I stated.

" Yeah! Which brings me to my point." She said as she sat on the chair in my room. " As my best friend you need to meet him." Jessica said. I guess we had grown closer then I thought.

" As your best friend?" I asked.

" Yeah!" She smiled. " Please? I want you to meet the man I just might marry and live forever with." She said standing. " Please. Clara... come on." She begged as she walked closer her hand folded together.

I sighed with a smile. " Well I guess I have to meet the poor bastard." I winked.

" Oh yaay!" She jumped and hugged me. " How about tomorrow?" She asked. " We can go out for dinner." She smiled. " At Wesson's?" She asked.

" Jessica!" I said. " That place is so..."

" Up scale, expensive?" She asked with a smile.

" Yes!" I said.

" Well it's a special night. Your meeting Sam." She smiled.

I smile fell quickly. "His name's Sam?" I asked my heart broke a little.

" Yea! You gonna love him."

" Wait you want me to meet your boy friend and be the third wheel?" I asked as she walked to the door.

" no no. His friend Brady is gonna come." She winked. She had this planned before I even said yes. " Sam and Brady are like us. Plus he's cute. You'll like him." She said.

" You had this arranged when you woke up this morning didn't you?" I asked smiling as she stood in the door way.

" Yupp." She said with a big grin on her face. " Where a dress and look nice. Please. Who knows maybe after tomorrow night you may be just as lucky as me." She said.

" Oh I doubt it." I shook my head as she left with a big smile. Apparently it was really important to Jessica that I like her boyfriend. But I had a feeling I wouldn't. I would never be able to say his name without my heart breaking.


	16. People come back

Black closed toe heels, above knee-length light red, and scoped neck line was what Jessica held in her hand as she knocked on my door at 4:30. Dinner was at 6 and she knew I didn't own a single dress. She told me not to put my hair up and that Brady was really looking forward to meeting me. She said she told him all about me.

I threw the dress on my bed and showered. Now that the winter months were coming my hair went back to its original dark brown and I was happy. I dried it, straightened and pinned half of it up. I only put on some eyeliner and mascara. Red lip stick always made my lips look bigger then they were. I slid the dress on and sighed when it was a bit small for my liking.

Before I left I took a look in the mirror. On any other night I would have thought I looked pretty damn good. Jessica knew how to pick a dress to highlight my body. But I had a bad feeling about this night. It was nights like today made me wish I drank.

I walked to my car and smiled at the clean shine of her. My dad always referred to the car as a her so I thought I should to. I couldn't tell you if he named her because she had many names. I got in and started the car. When I pulled up to the restaurant I looked at my phone. I was very late. I was told to be here at 6 and it was now 6:45.

The valet looked at me in a strange way. He looked me up and down then smiled. I guess the car made me stand out. " For the love of God be careful with her. I'll tip you better than most people if you swear on your life not a finger is laid on her." I pleaded before I gave him my keys. I reached in my small black clutch and pulled out a 50. " The other half I get her back in the same condition." I said.

" Yes Ma'am." His eyes lit up at the sight of the 50. He was young and probably just needed the money.

I smiled as he took my keys and gently walked around and sat in my car. I watched as he drove off slowly. I took a deep breath and walked inside. The bar was just as you walked in and when I looked over a few guys were sitting at the end. They turned and smiled at me. I didn't smile back.

" Can I help you miss?" A women standing behind a small desk asked.

" Yeah sorry I'm looking for..."

" Where the hell have you been!" Jessica cut me off as she came from the bathroom that was to the right as I walked in.

" I'm sorry I was... sorry." I said feeling bad.

" She is with me." Jessica put her arm around my shoulder as smiled at the woman. " Well I gotta say you look amazing." Jessica said. " You nervous?" She asked.

" You have no idea. And please next to you I look like a homeless person." I said after I looked at her. She was thinner and could pull off a dress better I could.

She stopped before we walked into the dinning room. " Have ever lied to you?" She asked.

" no?"

" Then when I say you look amazing you look amazing and Brady will love you." She said giving me a shake.

" Well alright then." I smiled.

The dinning room was full of people. As we walked their eyes looked up with judgment. People were always looking at me like that. How I could be friends or know someone like Jessica. She walked just ahead of me. She was holding my hand and she was basically dragging me to the back of the restaurant where the table was.

My heart was beating faster and faster. I couldn't breathe. I don't know why this was making me so nervous. I mean I was close friends with two guys I shouldn't be nervous around men. But when ever one would talk to me I would always panic and walk away. I would like to think it was just because I was shy but deep, deep, deep down I knew it was because I was afraid. Afraid of being left again and afraid of having my heart-broken again.

As we walked I took a deep breath. I took my eyes off the ground and my heart almost stopped when I saw the man sitting at one side of the table. He was no doubt tall, shaggy enough hair, big smile as he talked to the other man with his back to us. It was the sign. The sign I had called Dean for.

" Sam, Brady..." Jessica started.

" Sam..." I whispered and she looked back quickly to me. He had not looked up until he heard my voice. His smile turned to fear and confusion. He looked up slowly. " No way." My smile started to show. I could see Jessica and Brady stand next to each other with confusion on their ace.

" Clara." He said as he stood quickly almost knocking the chair over.

I was looking at Sam. Sure he was so much taller, five years old and not in jeans and a t-shirt but it was Sam. His smile started to come back when he said my name. Before I could even blink we both rushed to each other. Our arms wrapped around each other and he squeezed tightly like he always did. I felt my heart-break but fix a bit to.

" I thought you were..." I said quietly as we hugged.

" same." he whispered as he slowly let go.

" I can't believe it..." I said as I stopped the tears from falling. " Sam Winchester." I said. The name made me smile.

" OKAY! I'm confused." Jessica spoke up quickly throwing her arms in the arm.

Me and Sam laughed and looked at her. " You remember that friend I left behind before coming here?" he said looking back at me as I looked at Jessica.

" The one you called your best friend?" She questioned.

" Yeah." Sam smiled. " Well..." Sam pointed to me.

" And you remember those two boys I told you about from when I was 16?" I asked.

" The ones that moved away?" Jessica asked.

" Well..." I pointed to Sam.

" Holy crap." She smiled. " Small world." She said with happiness.

" You told her about me?" I asked Sam.

" You told her about us?" Sam asked me.

We both smiled. Then I heard someone clear their throat. " Oh! right." Jessica said. " Brady, Clara. Clara, Brady." She said.

He smiled. Brady was a very good looking man. He was well dressed and had dark brown eyes. I smiled to him as he shook my hand. " It is nice to meet you. Jessica has told me a lot about you."

" Well Jessica assures me you're a good guy." I smiled.

" You are prettier then she described." He smiled shyly. He blushed a bit as he pulled out my chair.

" Well thank you." I smiled.

Sam pulled out Jessica's chair as well and we all sat down. Sam laughed as he looked at me. "You know I almost didn't recognize you." Sam smiled.

"What? why?" Jessica asked. " How much to people change in appearance in a few years?" She asked.

" Well I look nothing like my teenage self." Brady smiled.

" No you don't understand, Clara was the definition of late bloomer." He said.

" Oh shut up. Did someone start watering you because your as tall as a freaking tree." I shot back with a smile. Brady and Jessica laughed.

" wait a second." Jessica stopped our laughter. " When you told me that story there were two boys. They didn't have names, but there were two." She pointed out. " Who was the other."

Me and Sam looked down and my smile faded. " My brother." Sam answered for me.

" But I thought you said you haven't spoken to your brother in years." Jessica said.

" I haven't." He tried to say quietly but at this my head snapped up and my eyes widened. I wanted to ask but I knew this wasn't the time or place. Sam just nodded at Brady who smiled at me. Sam knew he was going to have to explain that later.


	17. Talking

For then next three hours the four of us had what I thought was a good time. Brady and I were getting along and I just liked being in the same room as a Winchester again. Every now and again I would see Sam just looked at me. Like he couldn't believe I was actually sitting here with him. When dinner was over we walked outside and while Jessica and Sam tried to get a cab Brady talked to me a bit. We laughed for a minute before the valet came back with his car.

" Well it was nice meeting you. Hopefully this won't be the last time I see you?" Brady asked.

" Hopefully." I smiled. Brady blushed a bit and stepped closer. He leaned in ad kissed my check. He got in his car quickly after that and took off.

" aw." Jessica said as she came up behind me. Sam wasn't with her. "Someone likes you." She nudged me.

" Yeah maybe." I looked to her. She placed her hands on her hips looking unimpressed. " What? Yeah he's cute but I don't know." I said.

" Seriously?" She complied. " Just give him a chance alright?" she asked.

" Of course." I said.

" Looks like we are walking Jess." Sam said coming from behind her.

" Oh no need to walking." I smiled at him. " Brandon!" I called. The valet who I gave 50 bucks to. I caught his name before I walked away earlier.

" Yes Ma'am?" He asked rushing to me.

" Want another 50?" I asked as I turned to him. He smiled and took off as he grabbed the keys from the collection. I laughed as he took off.

Brandon returned about three minutes later. Sam and Jessica said nothing just stood waiting and looking confused. When Sam saw Brandon pull up in my father's, now mine, 1970 Chevelle SS his eyes almost exploded.

" No way." He smiled walking closer.

" yes way." I said taking the keys from Brandon and handed him 50 dollars. He smiled and walked back to his station.

" But last time I saw this it was under a tarp. The paint was rusting and parts missing." He said looking up at me.

" I gave her some TLC and bam! Good as new." I said walking over the driver's side.

" wow..." Jessica said staring at my car. " How did you even... when did you even?" She asked looking to me.

" It was my dad's. Left it to me when he died." I said jingling the keys.

" wow you really are a believer in family airlumes." She laughed.

" Hey Sam?" I asked and his head lifted. " Wanna drive?" I asked throwing him the keys.

" Oh my God. Really?" He asked. " But they never..."

" Well I'm not them am I?" I smiled. Just be gentle." I said stepping into the back. Jessica sat next to Sam who hesitated to start the car.

The drive home was not quiet. Sam talked about how awesome it was to drive a car like mine and Jessica giggled every time he smiled. I sat back and enjoyed the time I had. Sam stopped after a good hour of driving.

Jessica got out first and left the passengers door open. Sam gout out and shut the door lightly. " Well I am tired, got classes in the morning." She said. " But hey, don't let me stop the reunion." She smiled as Sam walked over.

" What do you mean?" Sam asked quietly.

Jessica smiled at him and kissed him. " Go catch up with her. I can tell you both have like a million questions for each other. I could see it in your eyes at dinner." She smiled.

" But.." he stuttered.

" Hey Clara!" She yelled catching my attention. I looked up with a smile as I stood next to the driver's side. " Take care of my man for a few hours will ya. Have him back by morning." She smiled to me.

" You got it." I smiled taking the keys out of the ignition. The way Sam parked would do for now. I placed the keys in my purse as Sam and Jessica said goodnight.

After Jessica walked inside Sam turned to me. I smiled to him and he stood a few feet away from me. He sighed. Then before I knew it he rushed to me again. He wrapped his big arms around me with a sigh. I let out a huff as his hug caught me odd guard.

" Jesus Clara." he said. " I can't tell you how sorry I am." He said finally letting me go.

" Sorry? What ever for Sammy?" I asked with shock as we started to walk down the street.

" Leaving, and then stopped calling you back." He hung his head. " I mean every chance I had I tried to call you but..."

" Don't blame yourself for that. You had to leave. Not you fault. Plus I'm sure you tried." I smiled.

" It's just my father." His face got a bit cold. " he was just so set on leaving that place and forgetting you and Bobby."

" Sam why?" I asked. " Its been almost 6 years and Bobby never talks about and when I ask he gets pissed and storms off." I sighed and Sam looked away. " What could have been so bad that they would ignore each other of this long?" I asked.

" Stupid hunter arrogance." Sam said. " Which doesn't matter anymore." He said puting an arm around my shoulders. " What I want to know is how the hell you are here?"

" What do you mean? you think because I spent most of my teen years with an old drunk I'm not smart enough?" I asked with a sass smile.

" No no, I mean here walking around." He said.

" Will you just spit it out? Why wouldn't I be walking around?" I asked.

" Dad told me a Dean a few years ago you died." He said and I stopped in my track right under a lap post highlighting the hurt and anger on my face.

" He what?" I asked slowly.

" He told me and Dean that you and Bobby were out on a hunt and..." he stopped.

" And what Sam?" I demanded to know.

"Demon jumped you. Bobby was fine but said the demon tore you to bits." I could see the pain in his eyes. I could tell he fully trusted his father when he told them.

" That son of a bitch." I swore looking down. "Why the hell would he... when?" I asked.

" About a year after we left. Me and Dean were tired of living on the road. We asked to go back to live you and Bobby. Dad snapped at us and said you were dead and Bobby didn't want us around." Sam sighed. " and that was it. We never spoke of you two again."

" I can't believe..." I shook my head.

" Well John has gotten a lot colder than the last time you spoke." Sam said as we both started to walk. " one of the reasons why I'm here. Wanted my own life. He didn't like that." He paused. " Told me if I was going I should stay gone."

" wow..." My eyes grew. " That is... awful." I complained.

" Tell me about it." Sam said. " but look what I found wondering around here." he smiled stepping in front of me walking backwards geestering to me. " And my goodness. I know one person who would be losing his mind if he saw you." he smiled.

" I don't think your friend liked me all that much." I said. I really thought he meant Brady.

" No not him." he laughed. " an other person who would be freaking thrilled to see you alive and looking as good as you do." he winked still walking backward. I smirked as I looked down. " you have to know he missed you just as much.. hell even more." Sam said finally walking next to me.

" Yeah?" I asked still looking down. " You and Dean still stayed close after you left?" I asked.

" yeah." Sam agreed with a smile.

"Then why haven't you talk to him in years." I quoted Jessica.

Sam sighed. " Because Dean was born a hunter." he threw his arms up. " I asked him to come with me but he didn't argue with dad. He just stood there and said nothing. So that was it. Almost two years now."

" Uh Sam." I shook my head. " The only family you got and your throwing them to the side."

" ME?" he stopped sounding mad and offended. " I just wanted to go to school? Was it so wrong to want a normal life!" he yelled.

" No. That's not what I meant."

" It was them who threw me to the side!" He snapped. I took a step back. I didn't mean to be so rude and get him mad. " What the do you know. You wanted the same and here you are. I don't see you running back to us." He said.

" Sam I didn't mean to insult you." I started firmly. " And to be fair you three left in quiet a hurry. How was I supposed to know I was never gong to see you again?" I asked.

" You could have called and looked?" he pushed past me.

" You don't think I did?!" I snapped right back at him rushing in front of him. " You don't think I called you and Dean a hundred times a week? You don't think I looked everywhere for you? I called just about ever hunter I could find for help but apparently the Winchesters cover their tracks." I said with anger. " You two were the only friends... the only family I had. But I never got a call back, hell not even a freaking voice mail, text, letter, nothing. For all I knew you were dead." I said.

Then nothing. Sam's eyes grew in shock, horror, and sadness. He just sighed and walked around me back in the direction Jessica went. I stood in the street light alone. " Sam?!" I called out. He didn't turn. I saw the hurt in his eyes when he left and I felt a tear begin to roll down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away.

It was late and I was in no mood for walking back to my apartment. But I had no choice I left my car behind and it was faster to walk home then to get the car and then walk back. The street was quiet. The wind started to get cold and my feet were killing me. My heels clicking on the ground were the only sound I heard. Until I heard footsteps behind me

* * *

Alright last chapter for tonight. Review for more please :) Thanks!


	18. Followed

WELL! I got some great feed back! Love all the reviews! Well wait over...

* * *

I looked over my shoulder quickly and noticed a bigger person, or man more likely following me. He looked skinny yet had big shoulders. I started to walk fast and then so did he. I turned a corner and he followed me. I started to run and he ran after me. I reached into my purse and grabbed my switch blade but before I could threaten him he reached out and grabbed me by the waist, put a hand over my mouth and dragged me into an ally.

I kicked as hard as I could but his hold was strong. I had not idea what he was going to do. I started to go into my hunter mode and I switched on my self defence side. I got in a few good punches, one good stab with my knife before everything went dark.

I saw nothing, and I heard nothing. But I could feel. I could feel hands on me and then the sound came back. But instead of the sound of my attacker it was scirens. Doors opening and closing. Beeping. Then voices came back.

" Miss can you hear me?" A women's voice asked. My eyes were just opening.

"Where...Where am I?" I asked softly.

" You're in an ambulance. We are taking you to the hospital. You were attcked and need some help?" She said. " But listen your going to be fine." She said just as my eyes closed again. I had no idea what just happened, where I was going or if I was even alive.


	19. Guilty

Patty woke to the sound of the phone ringing at 5 in the morning.

" hello?" She asked tiredly.

" Patty Gecky?" they asked.

" Yes?" She wondered who it was.

" This is doctor Jackson at Memorial hospital. Your roommate Clara Walsh was brought in earlier tonigh."

Patty shot out of bed and stated to get dressed. " Oh my God is she okay?"

" She was attacked. She is going to be fine but she is asleep, has been for a while. We are not certain she will wake up. She did sustain a pretty serious blow to the head."

" Holy crap! Okay thank you! I will be right there." She hung up the phone quickly. Before she left she ran straight to Jessica's place. Patty knew Jessica would want to know where her best friend was. " Jessica!" She yelled pounding on the door.

" Calm down." Jessica yelled rushing to the door in her tank and shorts. She yawned as she opened the door to see Patty. " Patty what the hell?" She asked as Sam rushed up behind her. The sound of panic always made Sam run toward it.

Patty was out of breath. "Clara... trouble... hospital..." She huffed out.

" What?" Sam sounded in a panic himself.

" Just come on!" Patty yelled as Jessica and Sam rushed out the door. All their hearts were poudning. Jessica held Sam's hand the entire drive and as all three of them rushed into the hospital. Patty ran up to the desk. " Yes my friend was brought in here... someone said she was attacked."

" Oh god.." Jessica sighed as Sam pulled her closer.

" Clara Walsh?" The women asked. All three nodded. " She is in surgery at the moment.."

" What!" Sam yelled moving up. He tried to get past the desk.

" Sir you can't just barge in. Only family." The women stopped him.

" Listen to me." Sam said stepping closer. " Clara is my sister and if you do not find the doctor attenting to her and bring him here with in the next half minute I will make it my duty to sue you and the entire hospital." Sam said rage in his voice.

Jessica watched as Sam stood up to the women. Why did he refer to Clara as his sister? Maybe they were closer then she realised. She stood next to Patty with her arm wrapped around her shoulders for support.

" Alright." The women walked away. She came back with an older looking man. " Doctor Jackson, this is Clara Walsh's brother."

" Brother?" He questioned. " I checked her records the only person she has down as an emercancy number is a Bobby Singer, or Sam Winchester."

" Yeah that's me. Sam Winchester. Now you have my sister in surgery. Why?" Sam demanded.

The doctor gave Sam an odd look. Like he didn't believe he was her brother. They looked nothing like each other and the last names were different. He shrugged and just went with his gut. no one with that amount of worry or fear in their voice and eyes would lie about someone who is very hurt.

" Listen, Clara had massive trama to her head and internal bleeding."

" Oh my God. What the hell happened to her!" Jessica stepped forward.

" Best guess... On her way home she was attcked." A police officer came out of no where. He heard Jessica's question and felt he should answer. " Pulled into an ally and beaten. Her purse was missing and.." he paused looking to the doctor.

" And what?" Patty spoke up.

" There were some signs of..." The doctor paused and looked to Sam. " We aren't sure but there is a chance yoru sister was sexually assulted as well..." He sighed.

" Jesus..." Sam felt his head spin a bit. She was walking home. Alone. After their fight. After everything he had said. He just left her there. His heart was pounding with guilt. This was his fault.

" She will be out of surgery soon and when she is out of danger you can come back and see her. But right now I'm sorry you are just going to have to wait." The doctor said as he walked off with the police man.

" I..." Sam stumbled back into a chair. He ran his hand through his hair. " I can't believe this..." he paused as Jessica sat next to him placing a hand on his knee. " I should have walked her home. I just left her there." He hung his head.

" babe. This isn't your fault. It could have happened to her whether you were there or not." Jessica tried to make him feel better. " We should be happy she is alright." She sighed placing her head on his shoulder. Patty sat next to them and waited.

" I gotta make a call. I'll be back." Sam stood. He walked to the door. When he was outside he took a big breath and made his call.

" Hello?" Bobby's voice answered.

" hey Bobby. It's Sam." He spoke with a chocked up voice.

" Sam. It's good to hear from you boy. It's been a while." Bobby pointed out.

" Yeah, I wish I called with better news." He paused.

" news?" Bobby asked.

" Bobby it's Clara." There was silence. " She was attacked and it's bad. You should get down here."

" Where?" he asked.

" Stanford Memorial Hospital." Sam answered.

" I'll be there by morning." he said.

" And Bobby. I'm sorry." Sam added. Bobby hung up right after.

Sam sighed as he looked at his phone and the dark sky. Bobby would have so many questions but it did't matter. Clara would wake up and find him there and she will be happy. Sam knew he had to apologize and be there for her. He looked at his phone calling list and saw Dean's name.

" It's Dean. Leave a message." His voice said as Sam sighed.

" Hey Dean.. it's me." he paused. " Its been a while but if you get the chance you should make a trip down here. Someone I know who would really love to see you. Your probably on hunt and dad would advise against it but it's important. anyways... bye." Sam stopped and hung up. He hopped his brother would get the message but a part of him knew he would never show up. He was a faithful son and never left their father's side in the middle of a hunt.

Sam stood outside as his heart pounded and he felt the wave of guilt come over him. His eyes started to get foggy and he felt a tear stream down his face. If he wasn't so sudden to snap on Clara she would be fine. He took one more deep breath before walking back in only to find Jessica waiting.

" Hey." She noticed the redness in his eyes. " Patty had to go she has class in a few hours. I made her. Said I would call with any info." She told him. Sam just nodded as he sat down in the loud waiting room. "Sam you alright?" She asked. He shook his head. " How are you two so close?" Jessica asked with wonder. He looked up with confusion. " You said she was your sister. It looked like you meant it." She shrugged.

He shook his head with a small smile. " Me and my brother never really had many friends growing up. We moved around a lot. And my dad never really let us stay somewhere for very long." Jessica nodded already knowing that part. " But for a while we stayed with a friend of his. Bobby." Sam didn't think he could finish the story but he had time and Jessica wouldn't drop it. " And he had just lets say adopted a girl." he smiled a bit. " She was only 16, her mother died in child birth and her father had just been killed. Being the God father he felt responsible for her you know?" he asked and Jessica smiled a bit. " Clara was the only one who seemed to like having us around. She was just as alone as we were. Spending so much time in that house together we kind you know just grew on each other." he smiled.

" Then what happened?" Jessica asked.

" It's like my dad always says to me and my brother. You should never get to close to people. Because one day you'll wake up and they are gone, and you never know when they can just be taken from you." Sam sighed. " We grew to close. Kinda like an addison to the family. But then one night we had to leave." he sighed. " I considered her my sister back then and I sure as hell do now." He said.

Jessica smiled. " Clara is lucky to have someone who cares so much." Jessica hugged him.

After that it was quiet. The sun was slowly coming up. The doctor rushed out of one of the rooms. He informed Jessica and Sam that Clara was going to be alright. She needed some time to heal and deal with what happened to her but in a few weeks she could leave and get back to life.

" Doc can I see her?" Sam asked.

" She is out right now, not sure when she will wake up but yes." he smiled.

" You go make sure our Clara is alright and I'll call Patty." Jessica smiled as she reached up and kissed Sam.

Sam took quick steps to the end of the hall. He was dreading seeing her, seeing Bobby and he felt more guilt then ever. His eyes were closed as he walked into the room. He could only hear machines. One was a steady but slow heart rate, and one was the sound of compressor. As he stood next to the bed he kept his head down.

Sam knew he had to look but he really didn't want to. So he just did it. He didn't think just looked up and when he did he fell into the chair next to the bed. His eyes were tearing up with the sight of her and he hung his head. "Jesus." He swore.

A black swollen left eyes, a cut along her right temple that went just over her eye, a busted up limp, bruised arms and dark rings around her neck. He didn't care that his tears were slowly flowing down his face. His hands were clenched at his mouth trying to hold back the yell of anger.

He reached out and touched her hand. It was in a wrap. He gently touched her fingers with his and took a deep breath. " She sprined her wrist fighting back." The doctor's voice made Sam jump a bit. " most of her wounds are defensive." he tried to look like it was a good thing. He had seen Sam's face and the redness in his eyes. " She put up on hell of a fight." The doctor said.

" How do you know?" He asked. Jessica was right at the door when the doctor started talking. She had a hand over her mouth. Sam heard her gasp as she walked in and sank on the arm of the chair next to him. Her eyes stared to tear as well.

" It dosen't look like she put up a fight." Jessica snapped at the doctor.

The doctor smiled a bit only to get dirty looks. " You should see the other guy." He said.

"What?" Jessica asked.

" No way." Sam seemed to smile. He stood and followed the doctor down the hall to another room. Jessica sat in the chair looking at her friend. When the doctor stopped in front of a door and moved to let sam see Sam felt awful for smiling but he did.

" Three cracked ribs, a punchered lunch, broken nose, twisted shoulder and a knife sticking from his leg. Not to mention all the scratches and bite marks." The doctor scoffed a bit. " Like I said she put up on hell of a fight." He said.

" He going to pull through?"

" Yes. And when he wakes up he will be aressted, brought to trail and convicted." The doctor reassured Sam. " And Clara will be given a pass. It was self defence and she used as much force as she needed." He said.

Sam turned to the doctor. He stuck out his hand and shook it. " Thank you." Sam went back to find Clara but when he got to the room Jessica was standing outside with tears in her eyes. He walked over and hugged her tightly. " She will be alright."

She sniffed. " Oh an older man... Bobby he said his name was Bobby. He walked in a few minutes ago." She whipped the tears from her eyes. " He is sweet, you never told me about him."

" He's in there now?" Sam asked. Jessica nodded. Sam walked into the room leaving Jessica at the door. He saw Bobby standing over Clara his head hung. A hand was on hers as he sighed. " Bobby?" He walked closer.

" Sam." Bobby managed to smile as he turned and hugged the young boy. " My god you got tall." he joked. Sam just smiled. " Look I am so sorry." He said.

" How did this even happen?" He asked.

" We were just out for a walk and we had an arguement and I stormed off and she walked home. Campus is supposed to be safe. I never thought..." He sighed as the tears came back.

" Alright boy." Bobby said as Sam sunk into the chair again. " She is alive and that's what matters." Bobby smiled. " How did you two even meet up?" he asked pulling a chair next to him.

" Her and Jessica are friends. Jessica set her up on a double date with me and one of our friends. I didn't even know it was her when she walked in. She looked so different."

" She must have been very happy to see you." Bobby said and Sam looked to him. " She called almost every day. She tried to find you guys but never found much. Five years is a long time Sam." Bobby said with a sigh as he looked to the poor child. Bobby knew something bad was going to happen. He had a feeling. He should have called more often to make sure she was alright.

" Bright side, they caught the guy and believe me Clara went easy on him." Sam said and Bobby managed to let out a chuckle.

" That's my girl." He said under his breath.

* * *

The last thing I remember is the sound of an ambulance. Then I wake up in a hospital bed with cords and wires hooked to me. I can't move and I am in so much pain I can't even speak. I cough out and the first thing I hear is Bobby's voice.

" Clara." He sighed. " We thought you would never wake up." He sat next to me on a chair. He looked tired.

" Bobby?" I asked and he smiled. " Am I dead?" I asked quietly.

He laughed. " No sweetheart you are very much alive." He let out a breath of relief.

" What happened?" I asked.

" You were attacked on your way home. But they got the guy and might I say nice job beating the crap out of him kiddo." He laughed and I smiled a bit. I looked around the room and noticed a couch on the other side. My eyes hurt but I could see their figures on the couch sitting and sleeping next to each other. Sam and Jessica. " Those two have been here the whole time." He smiled. " Won't go home, won't leave you alone." He smiled as I looked back to him.

" how long?" I asked.

" About a week."

" Shit." I swore.

" But not that you're awake you will get better. Doctor says once your up and around recovry will be less then a week." Bobby smiled. Then it was quiet.

I looked at Bobby and saw the sadness in his eyes. " Whats wrong?" I asked.

" Nothing. I'm just happy your alright. Thought I lost you there for a second." He smiled as he stood and quickly kissed my forehead. I smiled. It was rare Bobby showed any kind of affection.

" Gonna take a whole lot more to get rid of me Bobby. You're kind stuck with me." I smiled. He smiled. " You should go get some sleep." I said squeezing his hand.

" You sure you'll be alright with out me?" He asked.

" Bobby looks like you haven't slept in days. Please I'll be fine. I got those two love birds. You need sleep and hell so do I." I smiled.

" Fine." He smiled as he nodded to me and walked out with i his hands in his pockets. It was nice having him here. I didn't feel alone.

As I tried to sit up my pain increased and so did my heart rate. The smallest change made Sam and Jessica jump. The smiles on thier faces were priceless when they looked at me. I smiled back at them. " Hi there." I said.

" Oh my God!" Jessica ran to me and sat next to me on the bed and gently hugged me. I hugged back even though it hurt. " You're awake. Finally." She smiled.

I looked up to Sam who stood away and kept his head down and eyes away from me. I shook my head quickly. I knew what he was thinking. " Jess, big favor. I am so thirsty. Mind finding me some water?" I asked.

" Yes of corse! I'm gunna call Patty and tell her you're alright." She smiled. She looked up to Sam, kissed his cheek and left the room.

It was quiet as I stared at Sam. He looked down and away from me. "Sam?" I asked.

" Yeah." he didn't look up.

"Sam?" I asked in a more stern voice.

" Yes?" He asked quietly still not look at me. His voice seemed to crack.

" Sam!" I just about yelled at him.

" Yes?" he asked again with his eyes shut.

It hurt he wouldn't look up at me. " Why won't you look at me?" I asked. " Why won't you coem sit next to me?" I asked.

" Can't" Is all he said.

" Why?" I asked sitting up in pain.

" Because..." His voice trailed as he turned his hand at his mouth.

" Sammy?" I asked in a sweet voice. He was scaring be a bit. " Sammy please." I asked.

" I can't. This is all my fault." He threw his arms up as he turned around.

My heart broke right then and there at the sight of him. Sam Winchester was standing at the foot of my bed, with big puppy dog eyes full of tears and his cheeks stained from the tears that dared to fall. My eyes water when I saw a tear fall from his face.

" No." I shook my head as I reached out for him. He walked over quickly and sat next to me on the bed.

" But if I didn't walk away..."

" It would have happened to someone else." I stated. " Someone who couldn't defend themselves." I added. I placed a hand on his.

" but.." Another tear fell.

I smiled. " NO." I said slowly. I whipped his tear from his chin. " I swear it amazes me you're 22 and still look like a god damn lost puppy!" he said with a smile.

" I am so glad you're alright." He squeezed my hand.

" And what made you think I wouldn't be." I shrugged.

Sam shook his head with a smirk and I quickly wrapped my arms around him and he gently did the same. Again it hurt but I needed that and so did he.

" I just got one of my friends back there is no way I'm going anywhere." I smiled as I held him tighter.

" I missed you." He said.

" Same here." I said as he pulled away. " Let's not let that happen again." I said.

" Deal." He smiled a bit.


	20. Family prombles

A week. That's all it took for my recovery. The doctors said I should stay for a bit but honestly I hated hospitals. Sam and Jessica kept me company. Patty stopped by everyday to make sure I was alright. A few days after I woke up Bobby got a call about a job and I made him go. I promised I would call everyday and make sure to tell him I was alright.

After I got out of the hospital it was like old times again. Me and Sam were best of friends again and me and Jessica grew closer. All three of us were just about inseparable. I loved it. I had Sam back and my school life was amazing. Every so often me and Brady would go out but it never got past the good night kiss. I wasn't sure I wanted it to. I kept great grades and was close to being top of my class.

" I mean is it weird that I haven't met his family?" Jessica asked me one afternoon while Sam was in class. She had been very strange about meeting Sam's family. He had already met hers many times but the closest thing to family Jessica ever met from Sam was Bobby once or twice and me.

" Trust me Jessica, it would not make anything better. It would cause more problems than anything." I said. I still assumed Sam had never told Jessica about what John and Dean really did. He had said they were just construction workers that moved around a lot.

" but why?" Jessica was not going to let it go.

" Because the Winchester family is very complicated."

" What family isn't." She pointed out.

" believe me you have no idea." I said as I poured her a cup of tea. She had knocked on my door while Sam was gone and said she needed to talk to me.

" But why did you get to know them?" Jessica asked.

" That was a long time ago and it just happened. And from where I stand right now the next time I see John Winchester I will punch him." I smiled.

" WHY!" She exclaimed with a smile.

"I have my reasons." I nodded with a smile. " Jessica seriously. Stop worrying about it. You love Sam and Sam sure as hell loves you so why should it matter?" I asked and she just drank her tea.


	21. Pilot

" Dad's on a hunting trip, and he hasn't been home in a few days." The fourteen words spoken by my brother that changed my life again. He had broken in and after fighting I realized it was him. I wanted him to leave before Jessica woke up. But it was to late. She woke up and Dean being the creep he could be wouldn't take his eyes off of her.

I knew I couldn't get Dean to leave without agreeing to go with him so I packed my bag. " Could you at least tell me where you're going?" Jessica asked me as I packed my bag quickly.

" Jess honestly I'll be back in a few days." I reassured her.

" You never talk about your family but when they show up in the middle of the night you go on a road trip with them?" She asked sitting on the bed.

" It's complicated. I'll be back before Monday and we can forget this ever happened." I smiled at her as I walked to the door. Dean was waiting by the door looking at the pictures. Then I saw it. The one Jessica took of me and Clara. " shit." I swore and he looked at me before the picture. I turned around and pulled Jess in for a kiss. " Don't tell Clara. Say I went out of town for a class or something. Say nothing about family or my brother." I asked her.

" Why?" Jessica asked.

" Please?" I asked and she nodded as she kissed me again.

" It was very nice meeting you." Dean smirked at Jessica and I pushed him out the door after turning over the picture of me and Clara. I shut the door and sighed as me and Dean walked outside arguing about life. I had to smile when I saw the Impala. That was Dad's prize possession. I still couldn't believe he gave it to Dean. On the road again with my brother. It was nice but I had this bad feeling something would go bad.


	22. Story time?

" So what is the deal with Sam's brother?" Jessica asked me as we sat in my apartment. I had just finished making dinner for us when she asked. I was surprised at the question.

" You still on the family thing?" I rolled my eyes a bit.

" Kinda..." She sighed. "I get that Sam's father didn't approve of college which is beyond me... but he rarely speaks of his brother. Even you. When you talk about their family you don't mention..." She asked not knowing his name.

" Dean." I smiled a bit but then it was gone. " I don't know. Just don't." I shrugged. He just stared at me with a smirk.

" You're such a liar." She stabbed at me with her fork. "There is a story isn't there?" She asked.

" It's a long story." I smiled. " Not one I want to share."

" Oh come on." She said. " With Sam gone on that research trip I'm bored. I need entertainment." She said. It was strange Sam had just gone on a trip. Jessica said he left two days ago. I didn't even know he was going anywhere. " And from the look on your face... I really wanna know what happened."

" Stupid story really." I tried to change the subject.

Her eyes got big and she pouted a bit. "please." She begged.

" You know you should take some tips from your boyfriend. His puppy eyes are like a hundred times better." I smiled. " Fine but no judging." I said and she nodded as she leaned in to hear.

" Never." She swore.

I sighed as I looked down. It had been a while since I talked about Dean. " Well I met Sam and Dean on the day my father died. I had gone to the only family I had left. They were there with their father." I lied. " anyways I would see them around ever now and again and when I did we would chat and then that would be it. But for a few months when Bobby and John were on..." I almost said hunt. " Business." I corrected myself. " We would be stuck in the house just the three of us." Jessica back up a bit. " That's how we got so close. Nothing much to do then make conversation." I shrugged then I stopped.

She waited. " Well... go on. What happened?"

" Nothing. One day they just left and never saw them again. Well until a few months ago when I showed up at a restaurant expecting to meet your boyfriend and I find Sam" I smiled and covered up. I couldn't talk about how close we got. How the three of us would fall asleep in the middle of sentences. How I would wake up next to Dean every morning and fall asleep with him there. I really couldn't go there with out reliving everything.

" They really were your family?" Jessica asked.

" Yeah. They are." I corrected her.

" But you haven't spoken to him at all?" She asked.

" I called all three of them for a good two months. Sam was the only one who called back once or twice." I shrugged. " Didn't make sense to me." I shook my head.

" Did something else happen?" She asked. I shook my head. " Again you're lying." She smiled. " Just tell me." She begged.

" Well its kind of lame and cliche but I had this little crush." She narrowed her eyes at me. " On Dean... don't worry I have never or ever will think of Sam that way." And she smiled. " It's just it was easy to talk to him and he was open. And when I say open that is like amazing because guys never share anything. " We both laughed.

" And he just left?" Jessica shook her head. " Jerk."

I smiled. That' exactly what Sam would call Dean. " yeah." I smiled. " Strangest thing though... before he left and I went to say goodbye..." I paused and looked up at him. " He kissed me."

Her mouth fell open. " What?" She asked.

" Not anything special just a light kiss. But it made my whole stomach flip and heart almost stop." I exhaled.

Jessica smiled. " Aw he liked you." She said smiling.

" yeah maybe." I shrugged. " But I guess I'll never know. I seriously doubt I will see Dean again. Him and Sam haven't spoken in a while and that is saying something. They were really close."

" It's a shame a family can get so mixed up." Jessica sighed.

" Yeah but don't worry. Sam would never let that happen with you guys. He loves you." I noticed the disappointment in her voice and tried to make her feel better.

" I know." She smiled. " Hey!" She jumped. " Sam called earlier said he would be home tomorrow. We should make him some cookies." She said.

" Cookies?" I asked. " Jessica you suck at baking." I said as we cleaned some of the dishes.

" yeah but you're great at it..." She said. " And come on the smell of fresh baking is what a man should come home to." Jessica said with a changed voice. I laughed. " plus I want some cookies." She said.

" Alright. I'll finish cleaning up you go get some supplies. I'll meet you in like an hour back at your place." I sighed giving in.

" Awesome see ya soon." She said as she bolted out of the door. I smiled to myself. Sometimes it was like watching a kid run around. I went back to my dishes. It was strange how me and Jessica became friends. She was nothing like me and yet she was most defiantly my best friend. I don't think school would be as easy at it was without her around.


	23. Jessica

Three failed batches of cookies later, I finally stepped in and showed Jessica how to properly bake cookies. She laughed as she poured herself wine. She had asked me if I wanted some but I didn't drink. By the time we were both tired we had cleaned everything and made a pretty decent plate of cookies. We had eaten most of them but we saved some for Sam.

" Well I better get going. Got class in the morning. Finals soon." I smiled as I got up.

" Can you believe we only have like a year left until we all graduate?" she asked.

" No I can't. Seems likes just yesterday I was going to middle school and getting my braids pulled by bratty boys." I joked and she smiled.

" We should go on a trip. When the three of us graduate. Somewhere nice." She said.

" A vacation. I am so in." We both laughed. " Goodnight Jessica." I smiled.

" Night. See ya tomorrow?" She asked.

"Yeah. But not till later. Maybe a late dinner?" I asked.

" Yeah Sam should be home by then so I'll text yah." She smiled as she hugged me before I left. She always hugged me before I left. " bye." She said as I walked away. I almost didn't even hear it between the door closing and her yawn.

I smiled as I walked out onto the side-walk. It was cold out but my sweater was keeping me warm. The sun had been gone for a few hours now and the stars were coming out. It was a quick walk home but before I walked in I saw a car pull up in front of the building Jessica and Sam lived. I couldn't see the model of the car but it peeled away quickly after a tall figure, which I assumed was Sam go out and walked inside.

The car sped by my door but my door was closed by the time it reached my building. I heard the car stop and turn around. I shook my head at the young crazy drivers now a days. Never knew where they were going.

I walked into my room and stripped off my flour covered clothes. I changed into shorts and a v-neck shirt. I should have gone to bed but I was behind on a chapter in my sociology class. So I read in my room with only my lamp on. It was about 1 or so in the morning when I stared to hear sirens coming from up the street. Ever since that night in the ally I hated those sounds. That night was still very blurry but I remember that sound.

I walked to the window and saw three fire trucks so flying by. I noticed the small haze of light coming from down the street. I went to the door to see the commotion and when I saw where the trucks had stopped I took off running. I don't think I have ever run so fast.

The trucks and the firemen were battling a huge blaze in front of Jessica's building. I ran and when I reached the crowd of people my heart fell out of my chest. Patty was standing in front just beside the building with a firemen.

" Patty!" I yelled as I pushed past people. Her head turned and the sadness was in her face and tears in her eyes. I ran to her and she reached out and hugged me. " What happened?" I asked the firemen.

" There was a gas leak." he said. Only one person was inside at the time." He sighed.

"who..." I asked quietly.

He sighed looking to Patty. " It was her. The only one not accounted for." She cried. I was confused. " Jessica! She's dead!" She screamed at me as she took off back to our place in tears.

Her words were like a slap in the face. " no. That's impossible. I was just there. Not even ten minutes ago. I would have... She can't be. I just saw her!" I finally yelled at the firemen who looked sad and down.

" I am very sorry... " he said as he walked away. Then the anger, sadness and pain came.

" No." I cried to myself. The tears were flowing like a river and I just stood in the glow of the huge fire. The firemen put it out a few minutes later and I was then standing in a street of smoke. I heard a lot of people whispering and some where crying. Everything was just happening so fast. I hung my head and the tears didn't stop. Then I heard a car trunk close. " Oh God Sam." I swore as I reached for my phone I had just put in my pocket before running to the fire.

I pressed his name on speed dial. It rang and rang. " It's Sam leave a messages." It said.

" Sam. Where are you..." Trailed off and I couldn't talk. I hung up before I started crying into my phone. I looked around and saw two people away from the crowd. One was tall and had a somber look on his face. I couldn't see the other's face because he got in the front seat of the car I still couldn't see. I walked quickly toward the car as the taller one looked at the smoking building. The light hit his face and it was him. " SAM!" I called out. He flinched a bit and looked my way. He didn't smile, he didn't come over he just looked back to the car. He got in the passenger's seat. The engine was a;ready started. I started running toward the car as it took off. " Sam! Wait! SAM!" I called with all my might but then just like that he was gone.

I stood alone in the smokey street. Alone. My best friend was dead and the other just took of to who knows where with someone. I wished I had the strength to call him but I didn't I just ran for my place to be with Patty. We sat all night talking and crying.

It was just over. Just like that she was gone. It hurt to think I was literally there ten minutes ago. Gas leaks don't just happen. I would have smelled it. Something was not right about this. I wanted to instigate but I couldn't. Her family would need support and right then I wasn't the most stable person either.

* * *

Ah... so yeah how sad was the freaking Pilot episode! Like come on... anyways review thanks xo :)


	24. Goodbyeagain

" SAM!" I head my name. I knew that painful cry. It was Clara, I knew before I turned my head. I couldn't even deal with what was happening around me. The girl of my dreams, the love of my life was just taken from me. The same god damn way my mother's was! My head was screaming in anger and I couldn't talk.

Dean had come back to pull me from the fire. I was grateful but right now I wanted to die to. But now I had a mission. I was going to find the son of a bitch that did this and I would help Dean find our father if it killed me.

But standing in that street just before leaving I had to look. She called for me in such a hurt voice. If I heard it Dean would have to which meant he would ask questions and I couldn't deal with Dean and Clara right now.

" Sam!" She called again before walking closer. I looked at her. Such pain in her eyes, and such heart-break I saw when I turned and got in the car. " Sam wait!" She begged as we drove away. I saw Dean look over to me before he sped up.

" We need to get out of here." I said and he didn't hesitate to step on it.

" SAM!" That pain filled scream made up both jump. I watched as her figure faded in the night as we dove away from the school and away from my normal life.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. " Who was that?" Dean asked quietly.

" A friend." I answered.

" You want to go back. She seemed... upset." he said.

" Can't." I answered and I heard Dean sigh.

" Well maybe should could..."

" No." I answered. I couldn't go back. I had to find the thing that killed Jess and find our dad before I could even see Clara again. She would want answers about her best friends death. I couldn't tell her it was my fault. I couldn't even begin to think of how to explain it to her. " Just drive." I told Dean and he did as I asked.


	25. Bobby's

6 Months. That's how long it has been. 6 months since I lost my best friend, and the last time I saw Sam. I called almost everyday for the first three months. I left numerous messages but never got one call back, not a voicemail not even a damn text.

" Sam. You know I am standing at my friends funeral. You should be here." I said on the day of Jessica's burial. " Where are you?" Was the most asked question left on his voicemail. " Sam, I can't believe you. Where are you? What happened? Will you just call me back. Once please." Was the ;ast message I left about three months ago.

I couldn't keep calling when I knew he would never answer. I thought about calling Dean's phone but I never did. I finished my last at Stanford. I kept my high grades. Now I know it never happens in real life that a student graduates early but I did. Now that Sam was gone and Jessica was dead I didn't have anything to to but study. I took extra classes and with in those 6 months I graduated my three year program in two. I even graduated with honours. I was second in my class and smart. Don't believe me? Fine. Like I care but I'm not lying.

I had crammed my head with school work so much that I thought some time off would be good. It was the middle of the summer and I was tired and just wanted to relax a bit. There was only place I knew I could get away from California.

After graduating I packed up, and drove back to South Dakota. I haven't seen Bobby in a while and the last time we spoke he didn't have much to say. Bobby never did like the phone, so I thought I would surprise him. When I drove into his junk yard it was quiet. I wasn't use to it. I was use to noise and traffic. I loved the quiet. I stepped out of my car and took a look around. Time flies. I haven't been home in almost three years. Damn right Bobby's was home. I couldn't believe it had been that long.

I walked to the door and knocked. No one answered so I looked for the spare key. Bobby always kept it in hollowed out rock beside the door. I smiled when it was still there. I unlocked the door and it was like I was never gone. Nothing had changed and it made me feel at home again.

" Bobby?" I called out. No answer. I walked through the house and heard someone hitting a hammer. I smiled and walked out back.

" Balls!" He exclaimed. I smiled again. He was trying to nail a board to table. Have no idea why but it was funny watching Bobby try to do stuff. The nail kept bending when he hit it and he was getting annoyed.

I smiled. I stood at the back door with my arms crossed. " You know there is an easier way." I called out and he jumped a bit with his hammer ready to attack. " Wooh! Easy... don't hurt yourself old man." I smiled.

His smile spread across his face and he dropped the hammer. " Clara? What the hell you doing here?" he asked as I walked over.

" Well Hello to you to." I threw my arms around him and he hugged back tightly. " Need a vacation." I sighed.

" Vacation?" he asked. " What about school?" he asked.

" Done." I smiled.

"What?"

" Graduated a few days ago." I smiled and he smiled again.

"Then shouldn't you been looking for work?" he asked turning back to his hammer.

I laughed. " you think I just stopped working? I do think things through Bobby." I walked over and jumped onto the table he was nailing and sat on it. He huffed. I was in his way. " Applied to the FBI academy yesterday." I smiled.

" And?" he asked.

" I start field training in three months." I smiled.

Bobby crossed his arms. " Field training?" he asked. " Girl you already know how to fight like a Marine." he stated. " What the hell they gonna teach you?" he asked trying to move around me to finish nailing the board down.

" Ah see this is where I come to love the hunter training." I smiled. " My know how will get me bumped to the top of the list when it comes time for the FBI to start hiring." I smiled and jumped back down. He was still trying to nail the board down. " Here. Let me." I offered.

" You know all the things you know and you want to be a fed." he rolled his eyes.

" Bobby." I laughed. " I wanna help people."

" and we don't?" He sounded offended.

" Don't get me wrong Bobby, hunters are all heroes but what about the people who aren't a victim of a spirit or something supernatural?" I asked. I placed the nail and hammered it down with two hits. Bobby took the hammer from me with a defeated look. I smiled.

" Exactly! You'll be going after real crazy people." He said. " At least we can kill the things in the dark. The monsters you will chase will fight back with guns or knives." he said looking away.

I laughed. He wasn't making sense. " Like Vamps don't come after us with their teeth, or spirits don't throw a few punches." I made fun of him. He rolled his eyes. " What you worried about me?" I laughed. " Look at me! Do I look like a push over?" I said and he looked at me and shook his head with a smile.

" Glad you're here Kiddo." He said very quietly. No matter what it was like Bobby never wanted people to know he cared.

" me to." I answered with a hug. " Alright. I'm gunna go unpack. I'll make a run to the store and I'm gonna make you an actual meal. Sound good?" I asked. He nodded. " Good." I smiled kissing his forehead as I went back inside. I heard him mumble something but he kept hammering so I couldn't hear. So I did what I had said. I cleaned the room that used to be mine. Bobby's books were every where. It took my two hours to clean the room and then another two to unpack and put my things in the right place. I would get to cleaning the rest of the house soon but now I was starving.

I went out and bought vegetables. I knew Bobby wouldn't eat them if he saw them so I cut them all up and threw it into a stew or soup. I wasn't sure which one Bobby seemed to like it. I asked him what he had been up to while I was gone. He told me stories of his hunts and people he had met along the way. I loved listening to him ramble on about his argument with Rufus. They were like a married couple.

Bobby asked about school and how I was feeling after getting out of the hospital. He hated that he couldn't be there more often but I was sure to tell him I was fine. He didn't mention the scar, maybe it was because he was scared to bring it all up, or maybe he just didn't want to remember just like me.

I cleaned up and then turned in early. Bobby was still working on the table he was trying to build. I still didn't ask why, better to just let the man be. I slept better than I have in almost 6 months that night. My head hit the pillow and my night was peaceful. It was the first time in a long time I wasn't woken by a nightmare.

I woke up with the birds in the morning. They sang loudly and I couldn't ignore them. It was 8 am and other than the chirping birds there was no other sounds. Bobby must have been sleeping or out. I got up, took a long and much-needed shower. When my hair was somewhat dry I pulled it into a braid that flowed to the right side. My hair was long and I couldn't stand it waving in my face all the time. A pair of shorts I cut from sweat pants and a blue tank top was the choice of the day. Hey I had to fix the look of thins house before it drove me crazy and I didn't care anymore. Sure I had my scars but I had dealt with them and if anyone saw them and didn't like them they didn't have to look.

The first thing I got to was the upstairs. The halls were lined with books and papers. I stacked all the books at the bottom of the stairs. I knew in the living room were massive shelves that with a few more nails would hold most of these books. The papers I sorted by date and subject. Bobby kept notes from hunts separate so he could put them in his journal eventually.

After I cleared the hall I started placing books into shelves. I had always been a bit ODC about where things went how they were placed. I didn't put them in any kind of order because I knew once Bobby needed something he would move everything. I just made sure they all fit. I added some nails to the shelves for support and they all fit perfectly. It was amazing how many books he had. Now there was just dust and papers everywhere.

Bobby had called around noon. He told me he was after a Rugaru in North Dakota and wouldn't be back for a bit. I was fine with it. I made sure he would call if he needed help or anything else. This gave me more time to fix the house.

The papers were now a job for tomorrow. The sun was already going down when I finished with the books. It took all day. I was tired when I finally fell asleep I had a smile on my face. Things were normal. Well my kind of normal. I was happy. I was home and even though I still missed my friend I could still be happy.

The next morning was the same. I cleaned and I liked it. Made me feel normal again. I sang in my head as I sorted papers and answered the phone when Bobby called for something. He was headed home in the morning. I hoped he would be alright with what I did. It was just not going to be okay if I lived there for the next few months like it was.

When Bobby walked into the house within the next two days he was confused. He looked like he walked into the wrong house. I laughed as I sat at his desk chair waiting for him to come back. " What the hell?" he questioned before he even saw me.

" Well not all of us can be as messy as you." I said and he narrowed his eyes.

" You moved everything." He stated.

" No I put things back where they once were."

" My books." he said.

" All on the shelves." I said opening my arms as I spun on the chair and pointed to the library.

" My documents?" he asked walking over.

" In the drawers. And when ever you decide to update your journal..." I opened a lone drawer on the other side of the desk. " All the monsters and every evil thing you can think of and how to kill it." I pointed to the large stack of papers.

" Why?" he asked.

" Well one, I almost died tripping over your books in the hall by falling down the stairs. and two it was only a matter of times before you fell and snapped something." I said with a smile.

" Women." he rolled his eyes.

" Oh you'll be alright." I smiled. " But now I'm bored." I stated.

" You up for a hunt?" he asked.

" Seriously?" I asked with a smile. It had been a while and it was strange I was excited to hear that.

" Yeah. I think there is something up in Indiana. People are dropping like flies." He said as he walked back to the door.

" What you thinking? Another Rugaru or maybe a hungry vamp?" I asked he turned looking at me with a puzzled look. "What? You forget I do know how to hunt. May be a tad rusty but I can still kick ass." I winked as I ran up the stairs grabbing a back I already had packed. Truth was I waiting for Bobby to come back so I could go with him. He was waiting by his car when I came down and he looked worried and somewhat happy.


	26. Car

A month and a half went by hunting with Bobby. Every now and again I would go out solo but I guess it was easier with back up. Bobby didn't seem to mind the company and I liked having him around. Even though it was never an easy job I enjoyed helping people.

" alright that's it." I said as we got back from clearing a vampire nest. " Your beat up mustang is about to die and you won't fix it." I said. " You have so many spare parts you could have a nice car you know." So far the car had died on us three times and Bobby always put it off.

" Oh it's just fine." He waved it off.

" No it isn't. Let me fix it please?" I asked. He sighed and rolled his eyes. " You can keep hunting.. you got like eight better functioning cars around here." I said.

" Why are you so bothered by this."

" Because Bobby I'm leaving soon and I owe you this much." I smiled. " And I can't have you in a wheelchair now can I?" I asked with a laugh.

" A wheelchair?" he asked.

" That car stalls in the middle of a highway or intersection who knows what will happen." I shrugged as I ran up the stairs to change. I chained from my jeans into a pair of ripped and dirty ones and a t-shirt. I heard the door open and close after a car took off. I knew he would go back out on a hunt.

The rest of the day was spent looking over Bobby's mustang. He did love this car but didn't make an effort to take care of it. I shook my head at the rusted doors and the cracked windshield. I sighed as the sun went down. I was expecting a call from Bobby but didn't get one. I was sure maybe he was just on the road.

The bed was cool was I slowly tried to fall asleep. It had been a while since I was kept awake by dreams or nightmares. My eyes closed and all the peace vanished. The dream seemed so real. I was standing in a circle. People stood around me. A 15-year-old Sam, 18-year-old Dean, Bobby, My mother just as she looked in pictures, John and then my dad. They all were looking down. I looked to every one of them. I was about to call out to my dad but then they all looked up. Their eyes were closed. Then they opened. Black as the night sky. They whispered. "Clara!" Evil voices took over my ears. I fell to the ground with my hands covering my ears but it didn't work. Then I froze when I heard the most horrifying noise. That bark. The bark I heard on the day of my dad's death. I started shaking as it got closer. I screamed for it to leave me alone. But then it jumped in front of me but I couldn't see it. I screamed for someone to help but they all pointed to me with their demon eyes and smiled. The hound slashed at me and I woke with a gasp.

The room was hot and I was sweating. The few weeks of summer South Dakota did have were always humid. The sun had come up and my phone started to ring after I calmed down with a cold shower. I took a minute to answer it because my head was still spinning from my dream.

" uh. Hello?" I sighed into the phone.

" Clara? You alright?" Bobby asked.

" Yeah? Long night." I said and sighed as I got off the bed and looked for some clothes.

" Oh..." He paused. " Hey I need a few favors." he said as I walked around in my towel.

" Yeah sure what do you need?" I asked trying to find the jeans I had on earlier.

" The case I'm working on just got a bit complicated... like FBI complicated. If the phone in the kitchen rings, the one labeled FBI, answer it and..."

" Yeah I know the drill. Director Jones." I rolled my eyes knowing how the phone schemes went.

" Thanks." He said.

" NO worries. You be careful... how long you think you'll be out?" I asked.

" Not sure. Few days a week at most." He said.

" Alright but be careful." I said remembering my dream.

" Yeah, yeah." I could just about see him rolling his eyes. I laughed as he hung up the phone.

I sighed as I threw my phone on my bed. I sighed when I finally found the jeans. I was tired and didn't want to do anything. So I decided that would be my actual day off. I sat in my room with the window open, reading. It was quiet and eased my nerves from the dream I had. It was always the hounds that got me shaking. There wasn't much I was afraid of anymore but when it came to the invisible dogs of hell... I was terrified.

* * *

Sorry it took me so long to update! :) a lot of you will like my next few chapters! ;) Review please


	27. Boys?

That week was quiet and I enjoyed the time I had to myself. I spent most of the time fixing Bobby's car. No one ever called from the FBI, so I didn't need to be a fake agent even though in just under a month I would be in training.

The heat was to much for my jeans so I finally gave up and just cut them into shorts. Even though no one was around I still appreciated the curves I had and how well I could pull off cut off jeans and a v-neck shirt smeared with dirt and oil.

I was under the car fixing a lose bolt when I heard a car pull in the front. I was way in the back so I didn't hear much but the sound of dirt hitting the roof of a wheel well. Then another car. Bobby never came with visitors.I slid out from the car and that's when I heard the voices.

" Bobby come on." I heard a deep voice I couldn't place.

" No." Bobby argued back.

" Bobby. You knew him best." That was Sam. My heart started to beat faster as I rounded to the front staying out of sight. He sounded upset. Hell I was upset. At that moment when I finally saw Sam standing in front of Bobby my rage boiled to the top. The other person with he deep voice seemed to wonder off. All I saw was Sam and Bobby.

" I am telling you I don't know." Bobby seemed a bit on edge. Why was Sam here? Didn't matter... how was I going to approach this? I knew I needed to hit him but I needed to make sure he knew I was pissed.

" wooh Bobby." The deeper voice came from the back where I just was. " What the hell happened? Your Mustang its.. in good shape." the voice said. There was something about the voice but I still had no idea who it was.

" Are you kidding. That's what you have been doing. Fixing cars instead of out there trying to find our dad." Sam seemed angry.

" You have no idea what you are talking about. I didn't do that." Bobby scoffed as he turned away from Sam and the other approching man. I couldn't see his face but he was just a bit shorter then Sam, broad shoulders and hands in his jean's pockets.

" Well then who did Bobby. Don't try and hide and lie." Sam spat back. " Who?" Sam asked. Not like it mattered I think he was just trying to prove a point.

" I did." I spoke up as I walked into sight. " And speaking if hiding and lying." I said crossing my arm and stepped in front of Sam. His eyes grew in guilt and a bit of fear. " Hi Sam." I smiled angrily and he saw it to. His mouth opened a bit. " wait..." I stopped him. " Something I have to say first." I uncrossed my arms.

Then before he even blinked I threw my hardest right hook possible. My face and arm clenched as my fist hit his jaw. He went stumbling back with his hand pressed to him jaw. " JESUS!" He yelled. " What the hell!?" He questioned as he back up a bit.

I couldn't bite my tongue anymore. I had to. I was so mad at him. " 6 MONTHS!" I yelled walking to him as he stepped back hi eyes wide. " 6 MONTHS SINCE YOU LEFT ME STANDING IN THE GODDAMN STREET!" I yelled again.

" Wait.. jus let me explain." he tried to say as he backed up into the car. I didn't even notice the car yet.

" No. You had 6 months to explain Sam. I called every day! I watched that whole building go up in smoke, I watched as they buried my best friend and I watched as you drove away in the middle of the night. No explanation was given then. You were just gone!" I yelled. " Not so much as simple phone call. Was it really that hard to pick up the freaking phone and give me a call?" I asked. I didn't need an answer. " What the hell is your problem?"

" my problem?" He sounded offended. " I had just lost Jessica, the women I loved and was going to marry. You would think you would have some compassion or sympathy." He snapped back.

" You weren't the only one who lost here Sam!" I snapped back. Then Sam looked down. He sighed. I was angry one moment then I grabbed him and hugged him so tightly. He was confused at first then hugged me right back. " I'm sorry." I whispered. I felt him put his head in the nape of my neck with a sigh. I knew he must be missing Jessica and me yelling would not fix anything. There was a tear in my eye but it didn't fall. " So where's John?" I asked.

" Um I'm not sure." Sam looked down.

I laughed at him. " Sam... you took off that night in a 1967 black Chevy Impala, you think I don't know your dad's car." I said crossing my arms.

" Well it's mine now." The deep voice said behind me. " Sam who's the girl?" he asked.

That voice. There was something about it. I slowly turned around to face the deep voice. I almost didn't recognize him. He was older, even more good-looking and he looked confused not the smiling boy. His eyes looked at me like he didn't know me.

" No way." I said. " Holy shit." I smiled at Dean.

He looked at me and then at Sam. Sam smiled. " No." Dean shook his head as he started walking away from me.

" Dean." I smiled and he just shook his head. He didn't rush up to hug me like I had hoped. He just started walking away. He looked down and walked out the driveway and then was gone down the road. " Um what?" I asked looking at Sam.

" Like I said, We thought you were dead. He was devastated, well who wouldn't be." Sam smiled.

I smiled. " Look Sam, I am so sorry... I just..."

Instead of cutting me off with words he just hugged me. I smiled as he walked off. " You should go talk to him..." He said as him and Bobby went into the house. I sighed and felt my heart-break a bit for him. Now I had to see if Dean was alright. I just couldn't get over how he looked. Taller, so handsome, so muscular yet there was so much worry and doubt in his eyes.


	28. Dean

As I walked down the street I called out for him. " Dean!" I yelled but nothing. So I kept walking and looking. There wasn't a lot of places he could have run off to. 27 and he runs away from me like I'm a ghost. Sure John had told him I was dead but shouldn't he be happy to see me because I'm not? " For god sakes Dean." I said in a huff.

That's when I saw him. Standing in the same field he found me screaming all those years ago. He was on the phone and did not seem happy. I could tell he was leaving a message because he didn't stop to listen for another person. I smiled as I walked closer. Maybe it was just the shorts and t-shirt that made him question who I was.

"Hey." Was all I said and he froze. He slid the phone in his pocket, but didn't turn around. I stayed a few feet away from him just incase he came at me swinging. I gave him space a time. I knew he had heard me so I waited for him to answer.

He put his head down the back up. He slowly turned around with wide eyes. I was smiling big and wide when I saw his face. He looked scared and shocked. I kept smiling. "Hi." He finally smirked at me.

I didn't even bother giving him space then I walked up to him slowly. I put my arms around his shoulders and pulled him into me. He was hesitant but then he squeezed so hard I thought I was going to choke. A little laugh came from him as he picked me up as he hugged me.

When he finally let me go I was still smiling. "I can't believe this." he said.

" Well is it really that hard to believe John lied?"

"No." Dean shook his head. " Wait why didn't you call?" he said stepping away.

I smiled. " I did, you two just go through phones to fast." I shrugged and he just stared at me. " What?" I asked.

" I just can't believe... you look so different Clara." he smiled. My heart jumped at the sound of my name on his lips. Then his eyes went from top to bottom. He shook his head while doing it. " When did you..."

" What grow up?" I punched him. " About the time I turned 17." I shook my head. " And you... jesus I swear if you and your brother ever get more attractive the women of the world are going to have a serious problem." I smiled as I put an arm around his waist and we started walking.

" Is that so?" he joked.

" Well Sam has those puppy eyes that just peer into you soul and you well..." I winked as we walked back to Bobby's. " how's Sam been doing?" I asked as we rounded the corner.

" Fine." Dean nodded still not looking away from me as his arm went around my shoulders. I looked at him and cleared my throat. He sighed. " Sure he isn't exactly stable... but he really is fine." Dean said.

" Somehow I seriously doubt that." I shook my head.

" And you?" He asked. " Jessica was a friend?"

I smiled. " yeah she was. You should have seen her face when me and Sam saw each other. It was like she was scared I was going to take him." I laughed as Dean listened. " 6 months is a long time Dean." I said with a sigh.

" Yeah but so is seven years... but that doesn't mean people forget." He said stopping just before we got to Bobby's door. " Look Clara I'm s..."

" Nope." I stopped him with my hand on his mouth. " Don't you dare take blame for what your father did." I smiled. He sighed and I moved my hand. We stood for a second and he said nothing but I knew what he was saying. " I miss you too." I smiled as we hugged again. I swear I haven't felt that safe for a while. With Dean this close to me felt like everything was really going to be okay. Why couldn't it always feel like that? I sighed as he let go and walked into the house. I watched him walk away. He was different but Dean was still Dean. He may be a bit older and more problems but he w was still Dean. They both may have their newest problems but they were still my friends and family.

* * *

Well there it is! how did you like the three meeting again? it wa actually really hard to write that... anyways let me know how you like! :)


	29. Like old times

That day was spent catching up with the boys. They told me stories of their hunts since Sam left and what they have seen. Dean told stories of hunting with John and what he had faced. They had both been through so much in so little time. Then they asked about me. I froze when the asked, what if they thought I was crazy.

" Anyways we have talked for like hours so now your turn." Dean said turning to me with his second beer in his hand. " What has Clara Walsh been up to?" He asked.

" You were one year away from graduation." Sam pointed out. " Wanted to be a legal clerk for the mayor..." Sam remembered one of my ideas.

" Well that was almost a year ago." I said. " I graduated a few months ago... and applied to the FBI academy." I smiled

Both their jaws fell. " Seriously?" They both asked.

" I'm smart, and I have better training then half of those students." I said.

" A fed?" Sam questioned.

" Why not?" I asked. " Still get to help people.. but with less ghosts and man-eating dogs." I smiled crossing my legs on the couch between them.

" Dude we finally get a break." Dean laughed.

" A break?" I asked.

" Me and Dean may have been arrested a few times since we last saw you..." Sam looked down. I sighed and rolled my eyes. " To be fair it's not our fault we were just saving lives." he said taking a drink of his third beer.

" Well if I do ever become an FBI agent I will do my best to hide the Winchester rap sheet." I smiled. Then they both got up. "Where you going?" I asked.

" We just drove twelve hours straight. I don't know about you but I need my four hours." Dean smiled as Sam walked up the stairs first. They both smiled at me. " See you in the morning?" He asked me as he stopped at the bottom.

" Of course." I smiled as he and Sam walked up the stairs and disappeared into different rooms. I sat back in the couch as Bobby sat next to me.

I guess I was smiling to much because he just looked at me and shook his head. " Seriously?" he asked.

"What?" I laughed.

" You have always ben a sucker for those two." he rolled his eyes and got up and went to his own room for the night. I stayed on the couch for a few minutes before deciding to take a shower. I walked into my room quietly and showered as quickly as I could. I towel dried my hair and it was still damp when I went to go lay down. My head had just reached the pillow when I heard " NO!" Sam had called out. I sat up quickly and just as I made it to the door he yelled again. I went to his door.

"Don't wake him. All you'll get is a punch to the face." Dean said suddenly. I jumped when i heard his voice. He was standing at his door with his jeans on but no shirt. I swallowed hard when I noticed his sculpted arms and shoulders and just about flat stomach but still some (adorable) fat on the sides.

" Well you can't just let him yell out." I said opening the door to find Sam on the ground still asleep but shaking. "Sam!" I yelled out and shook him rapidly. He jumped and instead of a punch it was one of his legs and he kicked me right in the side and i fell back. I coughed out a bit of air. " jesus Sam." I said.

" Oh god. Clara!" he said waking up and rushing over to me. " Are you okay?" he asked.

" Told ya so." Dean said from just outside the room.

" I'm fine..." I looked at Sam. " Didn't kick me that hard." I smiled. " You okay?" I asked. He nodded. "Really? That's why you're calling out in your sleep in fear?" I asked.

" Just a dream." He said.

" reoccurring dream?" I asked.

" More like a nightmare." he sighed as we both sat on his bed. I saw Dean disappear after he saw me get up. "Every os often." He sighed rubbing his hands on his temples.

" About what?"

" Jessica, Dad and Dean... but this time you were there to." He sighed. I sighed to when he looked at me with big teary eyes. "I miss her Clara." he said and as a tear fell he placed his head on my shoulders. He let a few tears fall as I softened his hair and took a deep breath with him.

" Me to Sam... me to." I sighed and placed my head on his. I sat with him for a while. I lost track of time while we were talking. " You know I never would have met her if she never started jogging." I smiled as we sat cross-legged on his like teenagers telling secrets.

Sam laughed. " She never stopped after that. Every night." Sam rolled his eyes. " The crazy thing is that we were dating for months before she decided to "introduced" us.. and never in a million years would I have guessed." he smiled at me.

" Well I am glad she found you." I smiled placing a hand on his. He sighed. " It really is going to be okay Sam." I smiled.

" God I hope so." he smiled at me. " thanks Clara." he smiled.

" For what?" I asked.

" Staying and talking to me. I know leaving you in the street was a shitty thing and those things I said the night you were..." he paused looking up at me as his eyes traced the scar above my eye. " Just thanks for being someone I, we can call." He said sliding over and hugging me.

" You're family Sam. The only Family I got. You can call anytime, day, night, I don't care. Just as long as you call." I smiled as I hugged him tightly. " Just no more disappearing acts please?" I asked.

" Never again." He nodded as I stood and walked to the door. I nodded back to him as I closed the door.

I made my way back to my room and forgot I didn't turn the light off. I walked in and toward the bathroom where the switch was. I flicked it as I went into the bathroom to change. Shorts and a tank top is what was best to sleep in. My nightmares had been getting worse and I woke up in a sweat. I brushed my hair, it was still a bit damp so I push collected it to the side and let it fall on the left side. I sighed as I looked in the mirror at that awful scar. I was starting to remember what happened that night through my dreams but I never told anyone. It was awful what happened but I needed to get over it.

I shook my head and walked out in the dark. I stood at the door and looked around. It was dark but I knew someone was in my room. The moon shone a bit of light but not enough for me to see. " Hiding in the dark? Nice." I sighed as I flicked the light on.

"hey! I was trying to sleep." Dean said sitting up on my bed. He was sleeping up the light made him jump. " And i wasn't hiding..." he rubbed his eyes.

" And why are you sleeping in my bed?" I asked.

" I didn't mean to.. I waiting for you to come back from Sam's room... for like an hour now. Clara you walked past me when you walked in... did you not see me laying here?" he laughed at me.

" Guess not." I sighed turning the light back off and walking over to me bed. I was tired and needed to sleep. I pushed the blankets down and over myself. Dean had already managed to get under as well. Sad thing was he found his way into a shirt. I mentally smacked myself for thinking that. " So why were you waiting for me?" I asked with a sigh as I turned to face him ad I laid down. My eyes were closing but I still listened.

" I don't remember." he said. My eyes opened as he said this. His eyes were slowly closing as he answered.

" Fine.. then question?" I asked. He grunted for me to ask. " Why are you and Sam here?" I asked.

" Don't act like you don't want us here." he laughed.

" Shut up you know what I meant. And when the hell did John give you the Impala?" I asked. " I thought he loved that car." I said.

" That was before he took off." He said. "One day just hands me the keys. Tells me not to scratch it and then goes off on a hunt." He said. " That was about 7 months ago." Dean sighed.

" he just up and left?" I asked and he nodded. My eyes couldn't close after I heard that. " No word from him at all?" I asked.

" Nope. Not even when I was..." he paused and cleared his throat. " Nope." he changed his answer.

" Not even when you were what Dean?" I asked in no joking mood. He said nothing. " Dean... when you were what?"

He sighed and rolled into his back. When he did I pushed onto my elbows and looked down at him. " Not even when I was in the hospital. Sam must had called like a hundred times." Dean shrugged. " no big deal."

" And how did you end up in the hospital?" I asked slightly worried.

" Oh it was nothing." He lied.

"Liar. You say it's nothing but it is..." I trailed off.

" Just a mild.. heart condition." He mumbled.

" Heart condition?" I sounded panicked. " How?" I asked.

" Just one a hunt and got electrocuted." He shrugged.

" How the hell did you manage to do that?" I asked.

He laughed. "To be honest I don't remember." I rolled my eyes. " You almost sounded worried there." He said looking over at me as I laid back on my side.

" Don't flatter yourself. I was just making sure you didn't do something stupid to stay alive." I said and he sighed looking back up. " And let me guess you did."

" Well Sam wanted me to see this healer." I laughed when he said that but he shot me an evil look so I covered my mouth. " Seemed real at the time but after three people died every time this guy healed someone... including me. Turns out nothing but a reaper."

" Well at least you saved people." I smiled and he rolled his eyes. " Hey do me a favor.. don't make me come visit you at a hospital.. please I hate those places." I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"No reason." I said shutting my eyes. As I did I pushed my hair over my scar but it was to late he saw that.

Dean literally put his hands over my eyes and opened each of them with a push of his finger. My eyes were wide as he stared at me. " Liar." He mocked me. I smacked his hands away from my face. " Last time I checked you didn't have that." He said as he pushed my hair back and pointed to the scar. " What happened? Vamp, Demon?" he asked.

I laughed. " Human." I blinked slowly. He looked confused like he had never heard of such monster. " Just your run of the mill, human being." I shrugged. His eyes softened with worry. " not everything is supernatural Dean..." I said.

" What happened?" he asked looking down at me as he lay on his back.

" Ironic thing was that night was really awesome." I said looking up at him. " Imagine my surprise when I walk into a double date with my best friend and find out the guy she had dated for like five months was Sam." I laughed. He smirked a bit. " Anyways afterwards me and Sam were walking and catching up..."

" Wait why didn't Sam stop it?" He asked.

" Can I finish the story?" I asked. He nodded. " like I was saying we were catching up until I said something stupid and he walked off. I was walking home when I was pulled from behind." I shrugged.

" Clara I have seen you fight..." he started to say.

" Well the knife to my neck kinda made me helpless seeing as this guy was at least three times bigger, and he moved quickly." I said. " But don't worry I kicked his ass... but not before he could do some damage." I looked away from him.

" What kind of damage?" he asked.

" A few broken ribs, black eyes and lovely knife wounds." I smiled. " But I broke his nose, arms, fractured his rib cage and his leg before he tried to..." I trailed off. " Tried to kill me." I finished.

" wow...damn. I'm sorry." he said.

" Not your fault." I smiled. "Plus you should have heard the guy scream.. sounded like a girl." I said with a smile and we both laughed. "are men always so grabby?" I asked and his laugh stopped.

" What?" he asked looking at me with wide eyes.

" Nothing." I smiled as my eyes closed a bit. I didn't even mean to say that.

" Clara." he said softly. I hummed for hims to say more but my eyes were closed and could feel myself falling asleep. I felt the bed move a bit and I could tell he had laid down and turned toward me as he sighed. "Goodnight." He said.

I smiled my eyes still closed. " Goodnight Dean." I said softly as I fell asleep.


	30. RoadHouse

I was fast asleep when I felt my whole body being shaken. " Clara?" Sam's voice called. His hands were around my shoulders as he shook me. I could hear him and Dean laughing. I smacked his hands away as I pulled the covers up over my head.

" Go away Sam." I said in a low voice.

" Clara come on get up." Dean said as I felt the blankets tug right off me.

" What do you two have against sleep!" I sat up my eyes barely open.

"Well we got word of a job just up the ways... thought you would want to come with." Sam said sitting next to me as I rubbed my eyes. I looked up at him.

" Seriously stop growing." I said pushing him out of my way as I walked slowly to the bathroom. Dean laughed.

" So you in?" Dean asked in the middle of his laugh.

" Give me like half hour meet you boys downstairs." I called as I shut the bathroom door and started the shower.

I showered, braided my hair and threw some clothes into a bag. Jeans and sweater was the choice for today and it was comfy. I ran down the stairs to find Sam and Dean waiting for me. I smiled as they walked out of Bobby's house. He was off on his own job by the time I got down there. I watched as Sam and Dean got into the front seats and I hopped in the back.

" Alright boys where we off to and what's doing the killing?" I asked.

" Well first we need to stop at the roadhouse..." Sam started.

"Roadhouse?" I asked.

" A bar just outside the city... got some friends there that will fill us in. it was their job and they need help." Sam smiled.

" Fun." I smiled.

" People are going missing in the lower levels of the city. Homeless and street walkers... and they show up a few days later with bite marks and most of their blood gone." Dean explained. I leaned on the seats with my arms crossed and head in between. I watched as his bright green eyes bounced from the road, to Sam the to me with a small smile.

"Vampire never crossed these hunter's minds?" I asked.

" They already ruled that out." Sam sighed. " But they can tell us more."

" And they are?" I asked.

" Ellen and Jo Harvell." Sam smiled. "Worked with our dad from time to time." Sam shrugged.

" Um sounds comfy." I winked at the boys.

" yeah that never happened." Dean cleared his throat.

The rest of the ride was filled with random stories. I enjoyed every minute I had with them. Who knows how many I had left before they packed up and left again. The ride was short and when the sun was just about to set we pulled into a run down looking bar. The lights were still on and some dim music was playing from inside.

Sam and Dean looked at each other as they walked in first. I followed just behind him. I had often heard about Helen from Bobby but never met her. The bar was as you would expect for a hunter bar. Smelled like beer and smoke and the place was just about empty. Two other men sitting at the end of the bar.

" Sam! Dean!" An older women's voice called form the back as she busted through the door. She had dark red hair and was pretty. She defiantly looked like a hunter or a wife of one. " How are you two?" She asked as she hugged them both. Then as they both pulled away she smacked them and they yelped. I smiled. " Would it kill you to call once in a blue moon?" She looked to Dean.

" Sorry.. we have been busy." He shrugged.

" Busy. Oh yeah I heard you two were in some sort of trouble..." She said.

" trouble?" I spoke up and the boys sighed as they looked back.

" Sorry hun that probably doesn't concern you..." Helen smiled stepping forward. " You lost?" She asked looking me up and down.

" No." I crossed my arms and looked right back at her.

" Dean!" A smaller voice made us all looked back at the petit and very pretty blonde with the huge smile on her face. She walked over quickly and hugged Dean. " Hi." She smiled as she hugged Sam too but not in the same way. She must have been Jo. "Where have you been?" She asked.

" Oh you know around.. and catching up with old friends." Dean and Sam smiled as they looked at me. Jo took a step closer and looked me up and down as well.

"Old friends?" Jo asked.

Sam and Dean laughed as the watched the three women stare at each other. " Helen, Jo... Met Clara." Dean said.

" Clara?" Jo asked looking at me funny.

" What kind of name is..."

" Clara Walsh." Sam finished my name and both their eyes popped.

" Like David Walsh... Walsh?" Helen looked back at the boys and they nodded.

" Like his daughter?" Jo asked and Sam nodded with an eye roll.

Helen and Jo smiled. " It's real nice to meet you." Helen smiled shaking my hand and so did Jo. "Your dad was a good friend."Helen nodded. "Sorry to hear..."

" Long time ago." I smiled with a shrug.

" Your dad was awesome." Jo said with a big smile. " Major bad ass."

" Well I am goin' to have to take your word on that. Didn't even know my dad carried a knife let alone went out and killed monsters on the weekends." I said and they laughed.

" You look so much like him." Helen said with a sweet but sad smile. " Drink?" She asked as me and the boys took a seat. I shook my head and the boys took a beer. I looked over and saw Jo sit very close to Dean. I watched as he smiled kindly but then went back to talking. Poor girl. She would never know he was not interested.

" So Helen, you said you had a job for us?" Dean asked as I sat next to Sam and listened.

" Yeah, three homeless, and four hookers. All go missing with in a few days and then show up with no defensive wounds but are almost drained of blood." She said.

" MY question is why are these people on the street in the first place." A familiar cracked voice came from behind us. I knew that voice.

I turned quickly and saw him trying hard to get off that pool table. His eyes were closed a beer in his hands. I smiled and let out a small giggle. The boys, Jo and Helen looked at me oddly. I stood and started walking toward the young man I had befriended after Dean and Sam left all those years ago.

" You know what their problem is?" He started saw as he rolled to the side.

" NO? Educate us Doctor." I smiled and he looked up quickly and rolled right off the pool table. I laughed.

"oaf." He let out as he hit the ground. Then he sprung up to his feet quickly. He looked at me and smiled. " Couldn't stay away could you Kitten." Ash winked as I walked over quickly and hugged him tightly.

He squeezed tightly and I giggled again. I could see Sam and Dean looked at each other in confusion from the corner of my eye. I may have detected some jealousy from one of them as well. I smiled big when Ash took my head in his hands and kissed my forehead and let go with a bit of a push.

" Okay seriously?" he asked me still holding my hand but making me spin. I giggled as the others watched. " How is it possible?" he asked. " A year ago you were easily an 8 or 9 but now I swear 9.7." He laughed as he let me spin and then I stopped. " Now stop it you are making the rest of us look old." He shook his head.

" Oh come on you looking just as good as I do... maybe even better." I winked with a small laugh. " And I thought you said you were done drinking.. especially after..."

" After what?" Dean spoke up and me and Ash turned to face him. His arms were crossed and he looked impatient. I smiled at him.

" After I crashed a car into a tree, and the tree hit a cow..." Ash said with a smile as he ran his hand through his hair.

" How did you manage to do that?" Jo asked with a smile. Helen looked at me like she was a bit impressed.

" Well that may have been my fault... this genius was swerving all over the road... after one beer mind you. I grabbed the wheel and tried to pull over but failed miserably." I said as me and Ash walked over and sat back at the bar.

" And you didn't go to jail..." Sam asked with a smile.

" Well thanks to me... I just told the cop Ash was a doctor and was trying to get me to a hospital because I was dying." We both laughed.

" Dying?" Helen asked grabbing Ash another drink.

He hiccupped. " Kittentitus." He said in a professional voice. " Kills at least one American each year." He said taking a drink.

" And the cops bought that?" Sam laughed out.

" Well we were what, 18 and once the cop found out we were lying we booked it into the trees... he never caught us."

" But the cow lived!" Ash laughed as he placed an arm around my shoulders. Helen, Jo, Sam and me laughed and Dean just looked confused. " So Kitten tell me where have you been? disappeared for a while on me." He asked.

" Oh well not everyone can be fake doctors forever." I said.

The next few hours the six of us talked about the case Helen and Jo were working and it turned out that it was just a rouge Vamp. We offered to help them kill the thing but Helen insisted the boys get back to looking fro John. They still had not told me what happened to their father. I got the feeling they didn't even know. As we drove back to Bobby's I could feel the questions in them. No one had asked how I knew Ash, why I called him doctor, or why he called me Kitten. I felt their eyes and thoughts on me. I sat in the middle of the back seat and was looking down at my necklace and playing with strings on my sweater.

" Clara... how do you..." Sam started.

" About a month after you two left i got bored so I started taking Bobby's old cars and just driving around. One night it was really late and I was doing at least one twenty on a sixty street when someone ran across the road just in front of me. I slammed on the brakes just in time to see someone chasing the young man. I got out and followed them." I shrugged as I looked up at the two. I leaned forward a bit. "The young man was standing against a tree when whoever was chasing him caught up. He looked scared and out of ideas. So I called out and got the other's attention. He looked back and hissed. His eyes turned black and started to come toward me. I chanted the fastest I could eventually the demon smoked out." I smiled. " I asked the boy if he was alright and he started laughing saying he was fine and he didn't need my help. I stood there and argued with a complete stranger for an hour in the dark." I laughed as Sam smiled a bit and Dean kept him eyes on the road. " After I finished arguing he laughed and introduced himself. After that, best of friends." I sighed looking back down. " We spent a lot of time together, except we always found ourselves running from someone or thing." I laughed.

Dean scoffed. "So we left and you found new ways to get yourself killed?" He said shaking his head.

" What?" I asked nt understanding what he meant.

" Replaced by Ash..." He shrugged. " Who knew." He looked to Sam who gave his brother a dirty look. Sam didn't believe Dean was saying this either. I looked at Dean and I was about to lash out on him about me being alone and having no one to talk to, but I shook my head and sat back in the Impala. I didn't talk for the rest of the ride. The boys were quiet to.

When we finally arrived back at Bobby's I got out first and walked to the house. " Clara?" Sam followed me inside the house. I walked up the stairs and didn't even think to close the door on him. I tried but he walked in anyways. " look you know Dean didn't..."

" Whatever Sam." I said sitting on my bed with a sigh.

" he didn't mean that you..."

" Whatever!" I said loudly to him shooting him a look. " It's fine." I smiled with a shake of my head.

I looked back down with a sigh and Sam sat next to me. He leaned sideways and nudged me. " You okay?" He asked.

" Yeah, I'm fine." I smiled and he exhaled. " No really I am. Just tired is all." I smiled up at him. " So what now?" I asked. " What's next for the Winchester boys?" I smiled.

Sam sighed deeply. " I have no idea." He shook his head. " Look for our father, find the thing that killed Jess and our mother I guess." He shrugged.

" You guess? I thought it was all about revenge now?" I asked.

" It is... it's just I have no idea where to start looking." Sam looked around the room and out the window. " Hell John even disappeared looking for this thing."

" Well you never know. It may show up." I smiled.

" And at what cost... We already lost our mom and now Jess.. and I have this really bad feeling like it's not over and it's going to get worse." He said looking at me with big puppy eyes.

" Well you don't need to go it alone Sammy." I smiled putting my arms around his middle and squeezing him tightly. " You two always got me." I smiled as he hugged me back.

" Thank God for that." he sighed. He slowly let me go and made his way to his room. I was alone for about half hour laying on my bed when I heard someone making noise downstairs. It sounded like someone banging pots together. I huffed and stomped down the stairs. No one was around. I walked through the kitchen finding no one.

I heard a different noise now. Like someone dropping metal on the ground. The sun was setting and I was annoyed. I huffed as I went outside. For a moment I thought maybe a raccoon had gotten into the garbage or a possum. So I grabbed a pipe leaning near the back door. I walked outside and walked toward the noise. Then the sound of glass smashing on the ground made me jump a bit.

"_Shit_"

" Dean?" I asked walking around the corner of the house to find Dean staring at the ground at a broken bottle. He looked up and his eyes looked heavy. I walked over putting the pipe on the table next to him. He watched me.

" My bad." He smiled. He looked a bit unstable. I shook my head at him.

I across from him and looked down to see the smashed Jack Daniels bottle on the ground. No liquid was around it. " Did you drink all of that?" I asked.

" Naw, Bobby took care of most of it... I just finished it off." he smiled at me as he walked away and walked toward the junk yard. I watched as he sat himself down on the hood of the Impala. I shook my head and swept up the glass and threw it away. When I returned to make sure Dean was still around, he was only he was now sitting in the passenger's side of his car.

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Dont forget to review please!

also P.s sorry if I accidentally used Helen not Ellen... I always mix that up even though she is awesome and I cried when She died... anyways always love your reviews it keeps me inspired to write more! :)

I walked over to his side and rested my arms on the window that he had rolled down. He was looking at the sky and playing with the keys. I looked at him. " Something on your mind Dean?" I asked resting my head on my arms and tilting it to the side. He sighed looking over at me with a soft smile.

" Yeah..." he paused looking at his keys then the driver's seat. " Get in." he said in a polite but demanding voice. I looked at him with a funny look and big eyes. He placed the keys in my hands. "Get in." he said again with a small smile.


	31. Pond

I must had drove for a good half hour. Down the main road and then off to a dirt road. Dean only spoke when I needed to turn. He was just smiling a bit. I looked over a few times and asked where I was going but he never told me. He just kept quiet and then when the dirt road ran out he told me to stop and park. He locked the doors after taking his keys back. I was still surprised he let me drive the Impala. When we were kids he used to rage about that car. His dad loved it and Sam had told me so many times how much Dean loved that car. I loved my car to but not as much I think.

" Seriously, Dean where are you leading me..." I asked as I followed him into the tree line and down a small faded path. He was not saying anything but I had a feeling like i had been here before. " Really you're gonna keep up the whole creepy quiet serial killer leading his victim to her death thing..."

" Oh will you just trust me." he said waving me off.

I sighed and followed him. The sun was gone but the sky was still turning pink and yellow. It was nice. The trees were slowly going from green to a faded yellow, and the sound of a creek made me think about where I was going. I still couldn't believe I had followed him. I was still a tad mad at him for his comment about being replaced earlier.

I did as I was asked and when we finally got to where we were going he took a step back and smiled. I stood next to him and smiled finally remembering where we were. " Can't believe this place is still here." I breathed out quietly. He looked over and smiled.

" So you remember?" he asked. I took a few steps toward what I was looking at.

The small creek that was flowing earlier led to this small pond. It was somewhat clear and perfectly blue. The cat tails towered over the water and swayed in the wind gently, lillypads floated in the corners keeping a place for small frog to have a rest and croak. The trees around were tall and if you looked long enough little fireflies would light up the entire sky and all around you. At the right time at night when the moon was high enough it shone right into the water and left a shining reflection. There was a small dock, sure it was old and a few boards missing but it had that old look that made the whole sight come together. If you walked around the pond there was a small abandoned cabin. When I say small I mean a living room and a bed room. The roof had holes and the floors squeaked but it was, in my opinion, adorable. Then there was the sound of the crickets, frogs, and the birds. When they all came out and sang it was soft and fell into a harmonic melody. I smiled as I looked around.

" How did you find it again?" I asked looking over at him.

He shrugged. " Don't know. Just stumbled." he smirked.

I shook my head and put my hands on my hips. " we only came here a handful of times seven years ago... how did you remember?" I asked expecting the truth.

He shook his head. " Dose it matter?" he asked.

" Guess not." I said to myself as he walked away before I could say anything. Sam, Dean and I accidentally found this place when we started to become friends. We would go for walks to just get away from the house while Bobby or John were gone. We spent three days here one week without anyone even knowing we were gone. It was one of the best three days I remember about my childhood. I didn't even think Dean would have remembered. I thought it was kinda of sweet he did. I followed him as he walked on the dock and sat at he end. I joined him and stepped over the holes and cracks. He sighed as I sat next to him. I was looking around and almost missing the look of sorrow and pain on his face as he looked down.

" You think that this is all there is?" He asked. I looked over at him tilting my head. "For me and Sam, just hunting.. forever?" he asked.

" As opposed to what?" I asked.

" I don't know." He rolled his eyes. " Normal."

" What's normal?"

" I've never been one for the american dream but would it be that bad?"

" Wait, the american dream or your version of it?" I asked.

" My version?" he questioned with smile.

" Yeah, you know, your car, just driving anywhere, being with who you want and helping people..." He said with a shrug. " worrying about yourself not everyone else." I added.

" Doesn't sound that bad." He smiled.

" But that's what you do now." I said and he looked away from me and sighed. " Unless you mean the nice house in the suburbs, a wife, a few kids, a mortgage, and a retirement to look forward to?" I asked as he looked down. " That what you want?" I asked.

" I don't know." he said.

I laughed at him. " well it's hard to help when you don't even know what you want Dean." I smiled and he shrugged again. " Okay fine. Let's say you want that picket fence and the rugrats..." I joked with a laugh. "What would be stopping you from having that?" I asked.

" You know who." He said looking at him.

I shook my head. " Didn't I tell you this when we were kids? Your father can't make your decisions. You want something you take it for yourself. If he has a problem then you deal with it." I said.

" But we have a responsibility." He said looking forward. He sounded like John.

" Why?" I asked and he looked at me with wide eyes. " Why is it your job to give up everything? Why is it your job to die fighting things that hide in the dark?" I asked shaking my head.

" Because it is." he answered.

" Then why are we talking about this?" I asked and he got my point. Dean was not stupid but he was stubborn. " You're a grow ass man, you can do what you want." I said looking around. " Sam did."

" And look how that worked out." he shot at me and I stared at him with narrowed eyes. " Sorry." he said.

" Sam never did like hunting. He did it because it was important to you and John. Then when he found something he wanted he went for it. He wanted a normal life and he wanted to have that wife and kids... hell he was only a few years from having that." I said. " Jessica was the best thing that could have ever happened to him. She gave him a reason to get up in the morning when his family turned their backs on him." I shot at Dean.

" I didn't turn my back on him." Dean stood up for himself.

" Really? Did you stand up for Sam when John told him never to come back?" I asked and Dean said nothing. " Did you call your brother at all, did you go and see him, hell I bet the first time you met Jessica it was before he left and you probably hit on her." I said rolling my eyes.

He just looked at me. It was quiet. " How did you know that?" he asked.

I huffed. " Well one I know you and how both of you work, even after seven years Dean you're not as different as you look, and two it's going to be my job to profile people." I said.

" well stop it, its creepy." he said. I smiled and let out a laugh. he laughed to. "When do you leave anyways?" he asked after a bit of quiet.

" Well in a few weeks unless I get the call I hope to get." I smiled.

" What call?"

" The best, and top of each class get early admittance. You show off what you know in front of the director and each department and team leader. If they think you have potential they admit you to advance training and classes, if not then you go into the pile." I sighed.

" The pile? Doesn't sound good."

" It's not. The pile is where your career and schooling goes to die." I said dramatically. He laughed a bit.

" Ouch." he shook his head. " Sounds tough."

" Not just anyone gets into the FBI Dean. Sure it's easy to be the fake feds every now and again but the real ones... well its just very technical and people depend on you to know how to do your job." I said looking at the water.

" Why would you ever?" he asked.

" Didn't want to be a hunter anymore." I said looking up at him.

He said nothing. We both sighed and laid back and looked up. We had sat there for a few hours when the frogs started to loud. I smiled as my eyes closed. " You remember that weekend the three of us spent out here?" he asked.

I laughed. "Yes."

he laughed to. "Sam couldn't stop laughing after we pushed you into the water and you came up full of mud and grass." he said. " looked like a scooby-doo monster." He laughed a bit more.

" oh shut up! It took forever to get all that mud off." I smacked his chest. That's when I noticed how stiff it was. Strong and bigger. My heart jumped a bit when my hand hit him. My eyes were still closed and cursed my self again. How much did he really change? When he was 18 he was skinny and hand smaller looking arms. Now he had broad shoulders and apparently a strong chest. Last night when he wasn't wearing a shirt I could barely get a look without staring. I took a deep breath. I sat up quickly. I stood up as I remembered what else we did.

" Clara? where you going?" He stood as I ran off the dock and started to run around the pond. he chased after me. I came to a stop at the door of the cabin. I looked to the left and saw it. The massive tree stump that was as tall as Sam was now. I walked over. Then I smiled when I walked around to the back and found it. D.W, S.W, and C.W. Big initials carved into the wood. I smiled as i brushed my hand over the slowly growing bark. Dean came around behind me and smiled when he saw the carvings.

" Still here." he said.

" Yeah." I took a step back next to him. " Like a message from ourselves." I smiled.

" What kind of message?" He smiled as he put and arm around my shoulders. I placed my head on his shoulder without thinking. I smiled.

" Friends forever." I sighed with a laugh.

" That is the cheesiest thing I have ever heard." He shook his head.

" I know." I nodded with a smile.


	32. See ya around

Bobby and the boys helped me take everything I owed out of that house. It wasn't much but Bobby was addimit about giving me almost half his books. He said for when I got into trouble the FBI couldn't solve. I laughed at him and just took the books. I felt bad that Sam had to help me pack up for a job and he was staying back to hunt. I tried talking him into coming with me but he just wouldn't. As the sun was slowly going down and Bobby sighed I looked over and I smiled.

" You going to be alright without me old man?" I asked and he grunted and rolled his eyes. The boys had gone back inside to grab something and I stood next to my packed up car with Bobby looking down. "You get into trouble you call me alright?" I asked. He still looked down. " Bobby you hearin me?" I asked.

He sighed and just grabbed me into him. He hugged me to tightly. I have no idea what brought that on but it didn't last long. I hugged him back.

" Bobby you're acting like I'm leaving and never coming back. I'll be back I promise." I laughed as he let go. " But if you need me make sure you call." I said.

" Yeah, yeah." he said waving me off. "Quantico is just under 22 hours from here." He stated. " better get on your way before it gets to dark." He said.

" As soon as the boys get back here." I smiled. " You'll be alright right?" I asked looking at him with big eyes.

" Girl I'm old not dying." He said pushing me to the side a bit. " Be safe." he said after a while quietly.

" Always." I reassured him. The boys were walking out of the house when he walked around the back of the house. I sighed as I watched him walk away with his head down and hands in his pockets. I chuckled to myself as my attention was brought to the ridiculously good-looking hunters standing in front of me and smiling. " boys." I smiled at them.

" I guess we'll see you around?" Sam said with a sad smile as Dean stood behind him.

" If you two get into trouble you better freaking call. No more running." I said looking between them both. "Okay?" I asked looking at Sam with a serious expression. " I don't care if it is day or night. I'm serious Sam." I smiled and he nodded. " Now don't just stand there with those puppy dog eyes." I said taking a step closer. " Give me a hug before I get mad." I winked and he smiled. As he wrapped his long arms around me I laughed. " Bye Sammy." I said as he let me go.

" See ya." he smiled as he turned to his brother then walked the same path as Bobby.

I smiled and watched him walk away. " and there's you." I said putting my hands on my hips looking at Dean.

He looked at me in confusion. " What did I do?" he asked.

I smiled. " Oh nothing just stand there and look pretty." I winked at him as he scoffed and looked at the ground. " Just take care of yourself Dean." I said. " I know how the Winchester get around. Just don't get your self killed please."

He laughed. " No son of a bitch knows how to kill this sweet ass." he laughed.

" And watch out for that brother of yours. He needs you to be around." I said.

" Yes I know." He nodded. " what about you. Agent Walsh. You have faced Vampires, Windigos, Rugarus, Warewolves, Demons, and sprits... I would hate to see you screwed by any human." He said. I laughed. " Seriously Clara, be careful." He sighed.

" I will." I smiled at him with a sigh. " Now do I even have to ask?" I asked as I stretched out my arms. he let off a small laugh and walked right into my arms. He even picked me up a bit. " Uh I'll miss you two." I said.

" But you have to admit this is better then our last goodbye." he said looking back to where Sam had walked. " At least we know we'll see you again." he smiled. " And that you're alive." he said.

" Yeah speaking of which when you find John tell him to give me a call... there are a few things i would like to say to that man." I said and Dean shook his head. " you'll find him, and the thing that killed Mary and Jessica." I said placing a hand on his shoulder. He sighed as he looked at it.

" yeah." he doubted himself. " Oh I almost forgot." he said reaching into his pocket. " I know you hate your birthday and all that but here." he said taking a thin silver chain from his pocket. I smiled when I saw the small pentagram hanging form the end.

" But it's not my birthday." I said.

" Yeah I know. consider is a gift to make up for us leaving." He shrugged placing it in my hand. " Just take it and I won't feel so much like a douche." he said closing my hand around it.

I tilted my head at him and sighed. " Thanks Dean." I smiled as I hooked it around my neck. It was longer then my Mother's necklace and hung lower. I sighed as I looked up at him. I didn't know what else to say. It looked like he wanted to say something but he just wouldn't he just looked at me. I smiled at him one last time and then turned to car. I heard him sigh and I smiled. I turned back around and wrapped my arms around him quickly. He smiled as he placed his arms around me to. I kissed his cheek lightly as I finally turned around and got in my car. As I drove away I noticed Sam and Bobby had come back around to watch me leave. I smiled as I turned off to the road and the three of them disappeared.

I whipped the one tear that fell away and just drove. I had a 22 hour drive and I didn't want to stop for sleep. I needed to get to my apartment I had saved a few months ago. I needed to get my life back on track. and I needed to get into the BAU.


	33. Finals

So I like to change POV! So this is where the crossover starts! So pumped to write! anyways tell me what you think?! Thanks :) xo

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" That is the first time I have ever seen someone complete the final exams, training, and the tests so quietly." Agent Webber said. He had been an academy teacher for the past 38 years. He was responsible for all the advanced students and their scores. The advance had just under 50 students and every month so so there would be a test to narrow down the best. He watched as the 50 wide-eyed and excited students turn to 15 very tired and smart candidates. One in particular he kept his eye on. Cadet Walsh. She one of the top 15. If it was up to Agent Webber he would place her in the top three. She was smart, fast and thought on her feet. Now as he watched the last 15 write a final exam he looked over to Cadet Walsh as she sat with her legs crossed on her chair and twisting her pencil on her fingers and moving her necklace back and forth. Her test was closed and she had her eyes closed as she sat up right.

" She's done?" Agent Rossi asked as he stood next to Agent Webber.

" Yes, I don't know how she does it but... she is." Agent Webber had no answer.

" Is she cheating?" Agent Hotchner asked standing beside his colleges as they looked down from the observing hall at the young girl.

" impossible. You took these tests Agents, you know its is literally impossible to cheat unless you're a robot." Agent Webber joked.

" and her scores?" Hotchner asked as he crossed his arms.

" Just about perfect." Agent Webber shrugged as he smiled looking down at the only girl in the room.

"Just about?" Rossi asked looking at Webber.

" She has this habit..." Webber said. " But I'm not sure how to explain it... all that comes to mind is sacrifice..."

" What do you mean?" Rossi asked.

" We have a final field experiment and you'll see." Webber said as he left the room.

Rossi and Hotchner looked at the class of 14 men and 1 women. Agent Hotchner looked at the men and saw complete agility and strength. He could also see how smart they were. They all had broad shoulders and big hands. Strength would be helpful in his team but he had Morgan. He looked at the scores of all 14 men and could see how profiling would fit them well, of corse no one would know anything compared to Reid. Their computer skills were lacking but Garcia never needed help. Some had experience talking to the press and knew how to handle a crowed but JJ was a pro. He didn't think his team needed anyone else but according to Strauss, another member would improve their chances of solving cases and get them moving along. He hated how Strauss thought. Their team has more arrests under their belt then any other team in the BAU, but that didn't come with out consequence. Rossi had assured him they would find a perfect fit with the 15 students but Hotchner had a feeling about the one girl. Like there was more to be seen.

" Alright listen up!" Agent Webber called attention as the students looked up to him as they stood in a room. " You are all under inspection by many sections of the FBI. They are all looking for at least one new agent. Only a few of you might get the joy of becoming and Agent." he smirked as all 15 of them looked up to him. He noticed Cadet Walsh in the back as always. " Now you will all under go a series of tests. Every point counts and by the end maybe just maybe you'll be good enough." he said looking at all the men and one women.

The next few hours were long and hard for the Cadets. Their first task was their mini marathon. If you were to be an Agent you had to be in good physical condition and it was on you if you weren't. Running up and down hills, over obstacles and at the end they added weights as you ran. He and other Agents all watched. They watched as each Cadet except for a handful struggle. Just like that 7 were already eliminated. No team needed a weakling.

The next task was getting an injured partner to safety while being timed and coming up against walls or hills. Almost all 8 of the remaining Cadets struggled except for one. All section Chiefs watched as the smallest of the bunch, the only women, pick up the partner(who was weighted at 150lbs) and throw them over her shoulders as she climbed a wall. They all watched as carefully placed her partner down and started CPR and got the dummy to safety. They all watched as she then stood at the finish line out of breath and waiting for the others.

The last task was where it was critical to know just about everything you had leaned in the past six months. There were only 5 Cadets left and they were all given a file. A profile, and came fast to face with a suspected killer. They had half hour to get to know their suspect and stop what the suspect was about to do.

" Hostage situation!" Webber called and all five Cadets stood in front of a few Agents as they watched. They're eyes all watching and judging ever move. " You suspect John Doe has just kidnapped a young boy. He killed the family and is planning to take the boy and trade him on the black market. Slave trading still exists to some who have the right connections." Webber let out a laugh. Four out of the five Cadets laughed. Walsh was not laughing. Webber noticed. " You and your team.." He pointed to the five Cadets. "have cornered him into a home where he is holding another family along with the little boy. He threatens to kill all inside unless he can get away without being followed." Webber said.

The Cadets stood in a room as he lights came up. The FBI never gets credit for this, but they were very good at role playing. They had props and actors to portray the suspect and hostages. They were very good at what they did. The point was to make it look as real as possible. Sounds kind of fake but of you asked any of the five Cadets standing looking at the terrified people looking up at a barrel of a gun, they would assure you it felt very real.

" Nobody move or they all die!" The man playing John Doe(suspect) yelled in terror as he pointed a )fake) gun at the trembling family and crying boy. All the Cadets seemed a bit off. They looked at the suspect and said nothing.

" Listen. Mr. Doe. I need you to put that gun down." one Cadet stepped forward. Webber watched as Walsh shook her head. The domineer this Cadet used was to demanding.

" I said nobody move!" John Doe screamed and pointed the gun at the agent who stepped forward and pulled the trigger. A ball of paint hit him right in the chest and he stumbled back.

" Agent terminated." Webber announced as everyone watched. he watched as three of the four started to look a bit white. Then up came a pair of hands.

"Alright." A soft voice caught John Doe's attention. Webber and the other Agents watched as the women out her hands up to show she had no weapon and spoke calmly. " I don't have a weapon and I do not want to hurt you." she said softly as she slowly started to walk around the men between her and stepped in front. She smiled kindly to him as the gun point shifted to her. She didn't even look at the gun she just kept focus on John Doe. " Nobody is going to hurt you John..." She paused. " Can I call you John?" She asked and he started to act a bit confused and shifty.

The agents all watched as the young girl stood in front of a gun and didn't even blink. She watched as his eyes shifted to all the other people. She kept her hands up and voice soft and calm. She seemed to ignore everyone else but John Doe.

" My name is Clara..." She started. " and I would like to help you." She nodded slightly. " No one else needs to get hurt." She said and he shook.

" But I helped those people." John said back to Clara.

" You believed you helped those people?" She asked with a nod. " And I know you didn't mean to hurt anyone." She said. John nodded. "See I know that. I know you think this is right but you're scaring this family and the little boy." She said looking to the little boy. "Whats your name sweetheart?" She asked the little boy.

" Kyle." She stuttered out as the gun went from him to Clara.

" John, Kyle is scared." Clara said. " Look at him. He just wants to go home... just like you right?" She asked and Kyle nodded. " You just want to go home?" She asked John.

" I can't." John said.

" I know... but Kyle can. This family can to." Clara said slowly as she tried to step forward. John shook the gun and pointed it back to her. The Agents watched as she stopped walking and smiled. It was like she wanted the gun on her. " you have hurt many people... you don't want to hurt anyone else right?" I asked.

" no. Don't move!" He yelled at her and she didn't move.

"Okay." She said putting her hands up. " Look John I can help you... I bet you are tired and you just want to go home and I can take you there. But you it's your choice. You can come with me and go home or you can kill me." She said. All the Agents watched as she put her arms down to her side and looked at John with a serious face. Her whole mood changed. " Come on John. Put the gun down or shoot." She said in a lower tone and he just stared at him. " Kyle wants to go home. This family wants to live. What do you want?" Clara asked taking steps toward John and she came about an inch away from the gun point. " No one else needs to get hurt." She said placing a hand on the gun and pointing it down and finally taking it from John as one of the other members walked around and cuffed him.

Once the suspect was arrested brighter lights came up and the actors cleared out. The five Cadets stood in a line as all the Agents came into sight and looked at them. They all looked at Clara with a smile. " I'm just curios." A voice came from the line of Agents and all the Cadets looked to him. He was tall, nice suit and tie, black hair pushed back a bit and his arms crossed. He took steps forward as an older looking man followed him. " What did you do wrong?" he asked looking to Walsh. She looked up at him with confusion.

" Sir?" She asked.

"What did you do wrong?" he asked arms crossed and eyes staring down at her.


	34. Agent Walsh

When I got home that night I had noticed that my whole life could change tomorrow. I started t over think everything I was going to say. I walked over to my answering machine and smiled when I noticed two messages. I pressed play.

" Clara it's Bobby, just called to check in... been a few months since we lat spoke... just wanted to know you're alright girl." Then he hung up. I had spoken to Bobby a few weeks ago but when you go days and weeks without calling to hunters it feels like months. I walked over to my couch and sat as the other messaged played.

" Clara..." Sam's voice broke a bit. I sat up and listened as I could hear the pain his voice. " Is me... I just needed to talk to you." he said with a sigh. " You must be busy so I'll call later but um... I've been...I've been seeing Jessica everywhere I look. I can't go anywhere without seeing her." he sighed deeply and there was a pause. " SAM! COME ON MAN WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!" I heard Dean call from the back ground. There was a loud bang. " Anyways.. I just wanted to know if you have to? Or maybe it's just me and I'm going crazy... Bye." he said as he hung up.

I reached for my phone and dialled Sam's number. No answer. So I dialled again. Still no answer. So I tried Dean, no answer then Bobby, still no answer. I huffed angrily as I put my phone down. Why was no one answering me? Maybe they were in the middle of something important. I sighed as I made my way to my bed room.

6:30 came early the next morning. Especially after the nightmares. Ever since I left Bobby and the boys my nightmares came back. God I wish I could just shake them off but they are getting more and more realistic. I wake gasping for breath and on the ground. I'm sure I call out in my sleep because my voice is hoarse the next morning.

I shower, and get ready. Black heals, jeans and a red blouse. Professional and I looked good. I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. I was one day closer to leaving the hunter life behind. As I drove to the Quantico headquarters I took deep breaths in the elevator as my heart started to race. When the doors opened the busy BAU level made my eyes hurt. there were Agents on the phone, running from desk to desk, and others talking to family members I assumed.

I walked out of the elevator and headed for the glass doors separating me from all the others. I couldn't hold back my smile as I walked through and looked around at the Agents sitting at their desks. I walked past them and catch a few looking my way. My smile has faded now and I ignore the chatter in the back ground.

" Umm excuse me?" I walk up to a cluster of desks where a handful of agents sit as they talk. " Where is Agent Hotchner's office?" I asked.

" First office at the top of the stairs." One answers me back. I smiled kindly at him and he and the others continue their chatting.

I make my way to the top of the stairs and I knock on the door. " Come in." Agent Hotchner's voice calls and I open the door. He doesn't look up quiet yet. " Close the door." he says waving slightly but not looking up. I close the door and walk in a bit. " Sit." he says and I sit quickly. It's quiet as he writes something on a paper and I sit looking his way. He huffed as he was about to put the pen down. I was about to burst out. I couldn't wait anymore.

"You stand by the choices you make?" he finally asked looking up at me. " In any situation?"

" Yes." I answered without hesitation. He looked at me for a second.

" You don't hesitate do you?" He asked straightening his back.

" No." I shook my head.

He looked down at a file. "Has authority issues, tendencies to disobey orders, and put herself in the line of fire every chance she seems to meet." He reads from the file. Then he looked up at me.

" Did you call me in here to put me down or is this another test?" I asked. " Because I gotta tell you I am getting really tired of useless tests that only prove how strong someone is." I said with a huff. " I have passed everything the suits down at the academy can throw at me." Hotchner just listened to me.

He looked down and smirked a bit. " Also has a knack for speaking her mind when not asked or needed." Hotchner said looking back up at me.

" Okay for the record it isn't my fault I can't follow orders that may lead to the death of someone. And, just so you know I only disobey orders when I am 100% sure it is the wrong call, that only happened once in a test." I said. "and it's not my fault that the gun always seems to turn to me when I speak." I huffed and then looked at the look on Agent Hotchner's face.

" You always feel the need to explain your self?"

" When someone questions my judgment... yes." I shrugged.

" And if I questioned you on a call you made?" He asked.

" Did I get anyone killed?" I asked. He tilted his head in confusion. " That's what I would ask. I would ask if I had gotten anyone killed, if so I would take any punishment you choose but if not I won't apologize for my actions." I said. " and if that isn't the answer you wanted to hear well I'm sorry I wasted your time." I nodded to him as I stood up.

" Agent Walsh." he stopped me at the door. I froze as I reached for the door knob. I turned to him and he had two things in his hands. " Your test scores are above average, you have proven to be outspoken and very smart, your hand to hand combat scores are off the charts and I watched you handle an unsub at gun point. You didn't hesitate or flinch." He said standing as he walked over. " As far as I'm concerned you are BAU material." he said. I couldn't help but smile at him as he handed me a badge and a gun. "My team is headed out on a case and when we get back on Monday.. You're a member of my team." he said.

I couldn't speak for a moment. My mouth was opened in shock as he handed me my badge and gun. I smiled so brightly I saw a bit of a smile on Agent Hotchner's face. I looked up to him. " Thank you. Thank you so much." I said taking his hand and shaking it. " I'll see you on Monday." I smiled.

" Just don't make me regret this." He said as he shook my hand. I nodded as I walked to the door and he sat back at his desk. I smiled at him one more time before I left. I walked out of that office with a small smile trying not to attract attention. As I walked into the elevator I grabbed my phone and called Bobby.

" Yeah?" He asked with a huff.

" Hey Bobby." I said.

" Clara what's up girl? Everything alright?" he talked faster.

" Everything is just fine." I smiled. " You on a hunt at all?" I asked.

" Nah I'm actually trying to get the boys on one." He said.

" What we can't have like two days!" I heard Sam yell from the background.

I laughed. " Well hold off for a second. I'm coming home for a few days need to tell y'all something." I smiled.

" Well alright then." Bobby said. " Safe travels." he said with a small chuckle.

" I will." I said as I hung up.


	35. Hotch

Hello you lovely people! Thanks for reading! :) Make sure to review so I know if I should keep going! :) Hell even tell me what you think should happen!

* * *

Hotch watched as Clara walked quickly to the elevator and before the doors closed he noticed she was already on the phone with a big smile on her face. Hotch looked around the BAU floor and saw some members of his teams at their desks. His team had been through so much and a change was needed.

He had never seen someone so excited to be in the FBI before. Sure each on was happy but never had Hotch seen such a big smile. Clara would be a good addition to the group. He was leaning toward one of the men but when he saw her profile he knew. She was tough, smart and fearless. Rossi had mentioned how uneven their team was. The men outweighed the women.

Now he just had to get the team used to her. His team was never one for new people. They had some trust issues and they had all worked together for so long it was like a small family. He liked it, his own family was falling apart so it was nice to have others who had his back.

" Hotch?" A knock came and Rossi stepped in. " I'm I getting old or was that Clara Walsh practically skipping out of your office?" he laughed as he sat down.

" I took your advice. She will be good for the team... I hope." Hotch said with a sigh.

" Oh she will." Rossi nodded. " Well it's late and we are heading out early tomorrow. I'll see ya in the morning." Rossi said. " Are you going to tell them?"

" No. Wait till we get back because you know them they will complain for most of the plane ride." Hotch laughed. " Better just introduce them to her first."

" Smart." Rossi nodded. " Well goodnight." He said as he left Hotch's office.

" Yeah." Hotch said as Rossi closed the door and he gathered his things. He just hoped she would not bring any more sorrow or drama with her. The team didn't need anymore of that.


	36. Drunk

I knocked on the door and waited with a smile on my face. I knocked again but no one answered so I just walked in. No one seemed to be around. It was quiet and it's never quiet. " Bobby!?" I called out. No answer. " Sam! Dean!?" I called out as I walked up the stairs. I passed my old room and smiled when I noticed it hadn't changed except the bed was no longer made. " Anybody!" I called out.

I walked back down stairs and took a look in the fridge. Cold beer and some random containers with God knows what in it. If there was beer there was someone here. So I walked outside and looked around the junk yard but no one was around. " Bobby?" I called out and no answer came. " fine." I sighed and pulled out my phone. I dialed Bobby's number and was relieved when he answered.

" Sorry I kinda got caught up in a demon..." he said. " But don't worry I'll be around soon enough." he said before I could even say anything.

I laughed. " Well be careful you old man." I said.

" Hey!" he laughed. " I'll see ya soon Clara." he said.

" yeah you better." I said back and then hung up. Then I called Sam. He didn't answer. " Seriously! what is the point of you two having phones if you never freakin' answer." I said into his voicemail. "anyways where ever you two are if you got some time for little old me I'm at Bobby's... so ya." I said and then hung up. I sighed as I stood alone in Bobby's living room. I walked up stairs into my room and pulled the sheets back in place on my bed. I lay on the now made bed and drift to sleep. I only slept for an hour before I am woken by my nightmares. As I push myself up. Then I hear the door open. I rush down the stairs.

" Jesus Clara!" Sam yelled at me before I said anything. He rushed over and hugged me.

" What?" I asked as I hugged him.

" The screaming?" He said.

"Oh..." I said looking down. " Well I'm fine." I smiled back up at him.

" Didn't sound fine." Dean said as he walked in after Sam. He slightly pushed Sam out of the way and I smiled. He hugged me and I sighed as I did the same.

" Oh right..." I said after hugging Dean. I turned to Sam. I coiled my fist and hit his hard on the arm.

" Hey! What was that for!" he said rubbing his arm and Dean laughed. I turned to Dean and punched him just as hard.

" What the hell did I do?" He asked as the brothers stood next to each other rubbing their arms.

" That is for never answering my calls." I said pointing. They both huff. Dean walks off to the kitchen and gets a beer for Sam and himself. "Why don't you ever answer?"

" We have been a bit busy." Dean said as they sat on the couch.

" Oh busy?" I questioned as I sat in he chair across from them. " I never would have guessed." I rolled my eyes with sarcasm. " Well let's hear it. What have you two been up to." I smile at them as I cross my legs and lean in a bit to listen. " And none of 'the usual' crap. I want to hear all of it." I said with seriousness. They looked at each other and sighed. " Come on... out with it." I smiled.

So Sam and Dean did what I asked. They told me all about the months they hunted. All the demons and monsters they faced. Then they told me about the spirit in their old house. The spirit trying to hurt a family. They told me their Mom's spirit was keeping them alive and when the evil one attacked they got to see her again. I smiled as Dean smiled telling me the story. Sam didn't look as happy as Dean.

As they talked about their hunts they both started to realize I hadn't said much in the three hours they sat talking. When they stopped I just looked between the two with a smile.

" I miss this." I said quietly. " I miss hearing about the Winchester adventures hell I miss having my own." I smiled as I sat back in my seat.

" You could always go back to hunting..." Dean started.

" I don't think that's possible." I smiled to him.

" Why?" Sam asked.

"I have different bad guys to put in their place." I smiled as I pulled out my badge. They sat there staring at the real FBI badge for a good three minutes.

" Wow ours look so fake compared to yours." Sam laughed.

" Like toys." Dean laughed as they handed it back to me. " So you really are over hunting." he smiled. I nodded. " Good." He said. I noticed as Dean's mood shifted a bit. His smile faded a bit. " If you excuse me Agent Walsh I have something to take care of." he said as he stood grabbed his keys from the table and walked out of the house. I watched in confusion then looked to Sam as he sighed and ran a hair through his shaggy hair.

" Umm... what?" I asked and Sam just shook his head. " What's his problem?" I asked as I heard the Impala start and take off. I was even more confused. " Sam?" I asked.

" He is just..." he tried to lie and I looked down at him as I stood with my hands on my hips. He smirked. " I have no idea." He said as he stood and was bigger then me.

I sighed. " Well Sammy, it's obvious you do too much traveling and never have time for a hair cut." I said rustling his hair. " I don't care you need one." I said grabbing his hand and pulling him to the kitchen. I sat him down in a chair and found a pair of scissors. He huffed in annoyance. " Oh hush." I said slapping his slightly.

" Be gentle." he laughed.

As I cut away at his long hair i heard him yawn and sigh. " So you going to tell me what's keeping you up at night?" I asked. He shook his head. " Sam you left me a message saying you have seen Jessica everywhere. I can tell you're not sleeping. Just talk to me maybe I can help." I said turning his head so I can cut evenly.

" It really nothing. Just I see her from time to time. Just standing on the street corner or sitting in the park." he shrugged. " Then when I close my eyes all I see is her dying." he sighed as he hung his head.

" I'm sorry." I sigh. " I can't imagine seeing that every night when I close my eyes." I sigh as I bunch up his hair that fell on the ground and throw it in the trash.

" Yeah because you haven't been seeing anything." he rolled his eyes.

" I don't know what you are talking about." I said.

" Clara." Sam says pulling at my arm and making me sit down.

" It's nothing." I smiled. He shakes his head and looks down. I sigh. " Fine, it's always different but the hell hounds... they are reoccurring." I said looking down.

" Hell hounds?" he asked.

" Invisible dogs from hell." I laughed. " Killing everyone." I sigh as the tears start to come back up. I clear my throat. " Can we talk about something else?" I asked as I stood and tried to walk away. Sa, grabbed my arm again and pulled me into him. He wrapped his long arms around me and I sighed as I hugged him back.

" I'm gonna try to get some sleep. So should you." Sam said after a few minutes of quiet and he let got of me.

" Yeah..." I smiled as he walked up the stairs. I sighed as I took my waiting place on the couch. I had to wait till Dean got back. I had to see what his problem was. The sun was going down as I fell asleep. I lay half hanging off the couch finally able to get some peace. I'm sure it had been at least three or four hours because it was just about midnight when I was awoken by a slamming door and someone stumbling and a table almost falling over.

" ah what the hell." Dean tried to whisper but it was louder than he thought. I sat up quickly rubbing my eyes just in time to watch him trip over himself and crash into the wall the floor. He started laughing.

" Dean?" I asked as I stood and walked over to him. He was still laughing. As I got closer all I could smell was alcohol. " Are you seriously drunk?" I asked with a huff.

" Clara!" He yelled grabbing my head with both hands and squashing my cheeks.

" Sh!" I said ripping his hands off me. " you'll wake up the whole damn town." I said and he laughed.

" No I gotta tell you something." he said grabbing my face again as I tried to lift him up.

" Well how about we get you to bed first." I said and he helped me get him up. I pulled his arm around my shoulders and he help on tightly. I have never seen him so drunk. Usually he would have a few and then go to sleep. He could barely walk up the stairs and he led me into my room. I didn't stop him as I basically pushed him to the bed.

On his way down he pulled me down with him. I landed on to of him and he smiled. I shook my head and tried to push myself up." No." he said. "stay. Please." he asked as he moved over so I could sit next to him.

" Alright." I said as he put his head back down on the pillow and I sat next to him.

" You waited up for me." he pointed out.

" yeah." I nodded looking at him. His eyes looked at me and then the ceiling but his eyes closed quickly. "We were talking and you got up and left. I wanted to know why?" I asked.

He opened his eyes and looked to me. He placed his hand on mine and smile. " me and Sammy we are going to miss havin' you around Clara." he said with a small smile. I tilted my head at him in confusion.

" Where am I going?" I asked.

" Well you'll go back to Virginia and fight crime and me and Sammy will stay here fighting evil... then we will catch the demon and then Sam will leave and I'll keep going." He said with a sigh.

" Why is Sam leaving?" I asked.

" He wants to go back to school. After he gets the thing that killed Jess he'll go back to his normal life." Dean said holding my hand even tighter.

" And you'll be?" I asked.

" Who knows!" He shrugged. " Hell I may die next week." he laughed.

" That's not funny." I shook my head and took my hand back and pushed away from him. He laughed a bit then saw the seriousness in my eyes and he stopped. " You should get some sleep." I said as I tried to stand up.

I grabbed my arm and pulled me back down. " Please." he asked as I fell next to him. I saw the pain and seriousness in his eyes and felt my heart-break for him.

I sighed with a smile. "Fine but stop talking about you dying." I said.

"Why?" He asked.

" Because." I snapped back at him. "I don't want to hear it. Ever." I said sitting up and he watched me turn my back on him.

" Can't avoid it Clara." He said back to me.

" Yeah well you try!" I snapped again he pushed away from me a bit. "Your 27 Dean you are _waaaay_ to young to be talking about dying." I push at him.

" Comes with the job." he said and I stood up and balled my fists. I was so angry. How could he be saying this. He sat up as he noticed how white my fists were turning.

"STOP THAT!" I yelled at him. " HOW CAN YOU TALK THAT WAY!" I yell again and he stands up and is unsteady. He tries to walk around me but I stand in his way and he looks down. " Dean." I put a hand on his shoulder and he throws it away with some force. He pushes me out of the way and I trip over my foot and fall to the ground. He stops and looks down at me with regret and anger. That is what sends me over the edge. " WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" I yell at him as I stand and jump on his back. I wrap my arm around his neck tight enough to get him to stumble a bit. He pushes me off and I land on my feet. I grab the back of his shirt and pull him back. He tips back and I push him into the wall with all I have. Sure he was drunk and was unsteady but I didn't care. Dean was pissing me off. His head bounced off the wall and he caught himself before he fell back.

He paused and then he turned to me with pain and anger in his eyes. I am breathing hard and he can see how angry I am. He shakes his head at me. "Child." He whispers.

" A child?" I ask walking forward. " You think I'm a child?" I asked.

" You act like one." he utters to me.

I huff in exhaustion. I step close to him and he stares down at me. I shake my head back at him and elbow him in the side and he coughs out as he shuffles back. I reach forward and grab his shirt and pull him forward. I punch him in the stomach.

" Sometimes you are the most irritating, aggravating, stupid, dumbest, crude, thoughtless, thick, and reckless son of a bitch I have ever met!" I yell at him and with ever insult I throw a punch which he stops with his hands. He only watches my eyes as the anger turns to hurt and emotion.

" oh yeah?" He asks taking my arms and crossing them over my body and turning me around and pushing me into the wall. " And you are the most childish, blind, dazed, and..." he stopped when he saw what he was doing. His grip was getting tighter with every word and his anger was rising. His eyes got wide and he looked scared as he let go quickly and backed away. I dropped my arms to my side as I looked up at him. He couldn't look at me. He was breathing heavily and it looked like he was going to pass out.

" Dean?" I asked stepping closer to him and he quickly jumped away from me putting his arms away.

" no." he said quietly. His eyes darted between me and his hands.

His face started to lose its colour and his breathing was rising. " Dean." I stepped closer and he put his arms up again and shook his head. I swear I saw a tear form in his eye before they rolled back in his head and fell to hard to the ground. " Dean!" I said rushing to his side and he didn't answer. I put a hand to his neck and exhaled with the pulse was still fine. Then I almost exploded with laugher as I heard him start to snore. I smiled and shook my head.

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Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews! :) I love when people like what I write! :) anyways I'm still working on the next chapter... may just maybe I'll have one up before I fall asleep! xo


	37. Waking up

Dean woke with a minor headache. His back was stiff and when his eyes opened he realized why. He was on the ground. He looked around quickly and noticed he was just inches from Clara's bed. He looked up to see her laying on the end looking down at him with a small smile.

" Well hello there sleeping beauty." She smiled and spoke softly. " Care to finish sleeping on an actual bed?" She asked with a small laugh. He tried to sit up but his head was pounding more. He put a hand to his head and noticed how hot it was. " Ah I see the booze is slowly wearing off." She said looking down at him. He groaned and then everything came back to him. How they had fought and he grabbed her and pinned her against the wall. His eyes grew in terror and she noticed right away. " relax." She said reaching for his hand.

* * *

Did that really happen? I thought. I would never hurt her in a million years but did I really grab her and pin her on the wall? She did hit me continuously. I looked up to her hand she held out for me. I didn't want to take it. She shook her head and smiled.

"Fine stay down there. Mattress is more comfy then the floor but hey what ever." She shrugged taking her hand back and tucking it under her cheek as she fidgeted a bit. Why was she acting so kind suddenly. I looked up to the clock. " Been passed out on the floor for a good three hours now." She said looking at the clock then the ground. " And believe me I tried but it isn't easy getting your heavy ass up." She let out a small smile. I still didn't understand. How could she not be mad. " Dean seriously stop staring and just get into bed and go back to sleep." She ordered and I stood up slowly. I didn't need to be told twice to climb into a bed next to her. I walked over slowly as he watched and turned toward me. I laid down and looked at the ceiling closing my eyes. " You going to tell me what the hell just happened or we just not going to talk about the minor breakdown?" She asked me and I sighed slowly turning my head to her opening my eyes a bit.

Those big brown eyes looking at me for answers. Those same brown eyes that I was in love with when I was 18. Somethings never change. How was I supposed to stick to my hunting life, do my job when all I can think about is waking up to those eyes for my whole life? If my dad was here now he would beat it out of me. Beat the love out of you.

" I..." I said and I sighed. " I'm so sorry." I said quietly and she seemed to smile a bit. " I didn't mean to...I would never..."

" I know." She smiled at me. " You wanna tell me why you took off and come back drunk and annoying?" She laughed. I sighed. Her laugh. I mentally smacked myself.

" I don't know. Just did." I shrugged. That was the truth. I don't know why I left I just got up and went to drink. That's when I started to feel the small stings all over. " Wait... you were hitting me..." I said.

" Well you deserved it." She said back to me not even hesitating. " Talking about dying.. I should have knocked you out myself... but the liquor took care of that." She said with a smirk.

" Dying? SO you hit me?" I asked in confusion then I remembered how angry she got when I talked about the job being the death of me. " You were angry... why?" I asked.

"Dean your 27 you can't die." She said with a shake of her head. " Plus if you died we would just have to bring you back." She shrugged. I smiled at her. " No I'm serious I swear to God if I get that phone call from Bobby or visit from Sam telling me you died with those sad puppy eyes I'll kill you... again." She said and I smiled again. It was cute how tough she acted. Well she was tough, tougher than anyone I have ever met but I knew she had just as many feelings and emotions. That one tear she left fall ever now and again showed all her pain. Just one tear. It was powerful but heart breaking.

" but..."

She quickly put her hand over my mouth stopping me from talking. " No. Don't even." She said raising her eyebrows at me. " Dean Winchester will die when he is 90 or over sitting in some run down old house talking to young hunters and giving them advice on how to kill evil." She said. " Got it?" She asked letting go of my mouth so I could talk. I was about to disagree but she repeated "got it?" with more anger in her tone.

" Got it." I nodded to her.

"Maybe throw some grandkids running around." She winked at me and I stopped smiling.

" Kinda need a girl first." I shook my head.

"Well one of these days she will burst through a door and you won't be able to look away." She smiled. " You'll be a handful of badass." She smiled. I just chuckled a bit but said nothing back. It was quiet as she closed her eyes and she started to hum. My eyes didn't leave her as her humming slowly stopped. She was fast asleep and once her humming stopped she started to twitch and her face scrunched up a bit every so often. She started to make a soft and not a good moan. Her breathing started to get heavy and even though her eyes were closed it looked like she was out of breath and scared. "no. Stop." She whispered out. "Dean...Sam..." She said in a small cry. I started to worry as she started to move more. I slowly reached out to shake her awake when she started screaming "Nooo!"


	38. Chapter 38

_ "NO!" They were chasing me. Those damn invisible hounds. Barking. Snarling. Growling. They were so close and jumped at me. Dean and Sam came running and started shooting but nothing happened. The hound started ripping at me and the boys threw things to get its attention. " Sam Dean run!" I yell at them but the hounds catch them. They jump and blood is everywhere. They both cry out in pain as their faces and bodies are being slashed by claws. I scream out " NO!". Sam and Dean lay still as I scream and the dogs have gone. I rush to them and they are choking. They lay dying as I try my best to stop the bleeding. They look at me and their fading eyes turn completely black. I push back a bit. " Your fault! We were trying to help you! The hounds want you!" Sam says as Dean still chocks on blood. "please..." The tears flow harder than ever. "You can't..." Then the black fades and all that is left is blood and two dead Winchesters. It's quiet then I hear the barking again. I get up to run but the dog is already onto me. It just jumps and rips away. I kick and scream._

" Clara!" My shoulders were being tugged and shaken. My eyes shoot open and I sit up quickly and push away form whoever is touching me. I can't breathe. " Clara! Calm down." Dean says firmly and grabs my shoulders. I grab at his hands and realize I am awake and the hell hounds are gone and he is alive. I take a deep breath and sigh. I close my eyes and look down. " What the hell?" he asks me.

I let his hands go and push back and lean my back on the headboard. I tilt my head back to touch as Dean just stares at me. " um nightmare I guess." I shrugged at my answer. I was so tired of waking up to these. I rub my face with my hand and I can still feel his eyes on me.

" You guess?" He asked not believing me. " That happened yesterday didn't it?" he asked. I didn't answer and looked away. " Clara?" he asked.

I sighed. " yeah... but it's not just yesterday and now..." I sigh.

" How long?" He asks his voice has a tint of worry as he scoots next to me. I shrug. " Don't lie to me." He said nudging me.

"The barking started a few months before my father died... and after I met John they just never went away... a few weeks every now and again they stay away but then it jus jumps back into a cycle." I said looking down.

" Barking?" he asks.

" Like an angry dog... well more like a Hell Hound." I said looking at him and he just looked back. "But no big deal not like I can't handle it." I smiled to him.

" you sure?" he asked.

" Yeah." I smiled.

" Hey Clara?" he asks as I lean over and place my head on his shoulder. "About last night..."

" Forgotten." I say before he can finish his sentence. He sighs a bit and it quiet for a minute before I start talking. Me and Dean sat for a few hours talking. Not about anything special or of import just random little things. After a bit Sam heard our laughing and joined us. I sat with the boys for a few more hours before their phones rang. I watched as they both stood and reached for them quickly. I didn't pay attention to the phone call just looked between them. I had missed them more than I thought. I knew by the looks they gave each other a job was now theirs. So I stood as they hung up. Sam looked to Dean. " Well boys! This was fun but I gotten get back to Virginia before tomorrow." I smiled at they looked to me. " I can see duty calls so go fight evil and keep in touch." I smile. " And I'm serious."

* * *

Dean and Sam looked to Clara. They knew this would be the last time they saw her for a long time. They just had that feeling. Like something bad or big was going to happen and they wouldn't make it back to see her anytime soon. They both smiled to her. She was no doubt smaller than them but every bit as tough. Sam thought about his friend constantly. Wondering how she was and if she was safe, and Dean just constantly worried about her being alone. They had spent so much time looking out for her and for her to be alone made him nervous. He watched as she hugged Sam first and when she turned to him and smiled he hated himself. She hugged him and when she let go him and Sam left. He heard her sigh as they walked out.

" you know this time if we don't call every so often she might kill us." Sam said as they drove away from the house.

"Yeah." Dean nodded as he drove.

" Dean are you alright?" Sam asked.

" yeah... just thinking." Dean answered.

" There was a lot of yelling coming from her room last night... anything happen?" Sam nudged his brother with a smile.

" Yeah I was way over drunk and almost hit her." Dean spat at Sam.

" You what?!" Sam snapped.

" I didn't mean to... and I stopped but the thing is in the morning she wasn't mad, and she stopped yelling." Dean said shaking his head.

" She wasn't mad?" Sam asked. He was sure Clara would have thrown a fit.

"No. She just said it was forgotten and not to talk about it again." Dean sighed as he drove further and further away.

" Well count your self lucky she cares a lot more than most women." Sam said looking out the window.

" What?" Dean sounded alarmed.

Sam laughed a bit at his blind brother. " Nothing. Just don't push your luck. Sometimes people care more than they show." Sam said looking at his brother as confusion took over. Sam knew damn well what was going on. Clara had proven to care more about Dean then any other man other than him and Bobby. Sam noticed the smile that crept up on her every time she saw him. And Sam was defiantly aware of how Dean felt. Sure he was way to stubborn to ever admit he had feelings for Clara but that didn't mean Sam couldn't see it. Dean seemed to be an open book around Clara. Anyone else he would shut up and close down. Then there was the way he talked about her sometimes. They would be off on a hunt and Sam would mention her and Dean would smile and the conversation would go on forever. Sam wasn't stupid. He could see it. It's just ridiculous how they couldn't.


	39. Team

Agent Clara Walsh." Agent Hotchner stood in front of his team with a proud look. I looked up to him and then back at the team who all turned in their chairs to look up at me. I guess Hotchner had not told them. They mostly looked shocked I was a girl. " Agents Jenifer Jareau, Derek Morgan, and Dr. Spencer Reid."He said pointing to a pretty blonde to smiled the brightest. Then to a very attractive darker skinned man who looked at me and then smirked a bit, then to the smallest and youngest looking man. He had glasses and looked nervous as he shook my hand.

" It's very nice to see our team finally somewhat even." Agent Jareau stood shaking my hand. I laughed at her a bit. " Oh and It's JJ." She said I nodded to her.

" Your test scores are very impressive." Dr. Reid said to me.

" Impressive? Well that is a big compliment coming from the one who has the highest in record." I smiled to him as he looked a bit off.

Hotchner smiled at his team. "Tomorrow morning we go through our briefing for out next case. Agent Walsh you are expected but 8." he said with a nod and walked off with Agent Rossi.

" Yes Sir." I said as they both walked away. I watched as they walked into their offices and I turned to the team. " Is it just me or is he always like that?" I asked.

Morgan laughed. " Oh don't worry it isn't just you. Hotch is not one for smiles and warm welcomes." He rolled his eyes a bit.

"Warm welcomes?" I questioned. Then I laughed. " Anyways you can go back to your work." I smiled. "I know how it works." I smiled as I walked over to my desk.

"How does it work?" Morgan asked as they all followed me to my desk just on the other side of theirs.

" Oh you know you pretend to like me because you have to and you make polite chit chat but deep down y'all hate newbies and hate having to deal with an outside." I said sitting down. " But honesty don't pretend on my benefit." I smiled to them. " I completely understand." I nodded to them as I sat back in my chair.

" What?" JJ asked.

" oh I didn't mean you. I meant the boys club." I pointed to the office doors and Reid and Morgan. "I'm sure you are genuinely kind." I smiled to her.

" boys club?" Reid question not understanding as JJ laughed.

" Yeah the boy genius who eventually figures everything out, the leader, the marine, and then the muscle." I looked to Morgan. " Sure he can think but he is the one who puts fear into the bad guys right?" I smiled and JJ bursted out laughing.

" Oh God." She said trying to stop. " Oh I like her." She smiled to me patting Morgan on the back.

" How did you know Rossi was a Marine?" Morgan squinted his eyes and crossed his arms as JJ laughed.

"Seems like the type." I shrugged.

" Type? I was unaware Marines had a type..." Reid shook his head.

" Sure they do. Trust me I know Marines." I smiled.

" and hows that?" Morgan asked.

" You don't like me do you?" I asked him.

"I just met you." He replied.

" and I can see it. You don't like me." I smiled. " Well Agent Morgan that is fine. Most people don't." I shrugged. " And I was raised by a marine and his friends tough me a lot." I smiled. " So yeah I can usually tell a Military man just by how he walks and talks." I shrugged.

" Impressive." Reid smiles.

" Not really." I shrug. " What's impressive is that brain of yours." I pointed out.

Just as Reid was about to say something Morgan looked up and spoke. " Hey Baby girl where's the fire?" He ask a plump, and brightly dressed blonde walking quickly toward them.

" I just found out we got a new member?" She said with a huff. "You know for someone who should know everything I am always last to know... I didn't even have time to check him out." She said looking at Morgan who smirked. She seemed different and there was something about her I liked, probably how she made a point of defiantly being different.

" Well feel free to ask me what ever you like." I said kindly as I sat and looked up at her. She turned slowly and her angry look turned smily.

" Oh hi..." She said nervously. " I'm sorry I didn't..."

" Thais okay." I smiled. "Clara Walsh." I stuck out my hand to shake hers. She shook it lightly.

" Penelope Garcia." She smiled at me.

" Well Garcia go ahead." I smiled at her and the others.

" What do you mean?" She asked.

" Well I assume you wanted to do a background check? But you can also just ask." I smiled.

" Ah... well no offence but people tend to lie." She said with a shrug.

" Good point. Well you let me know if you find anything interesting I can't explain." I smiled to her as she and Morgan turned to leave. She was looking back at me like she knew me. She was squinting and I could tell she was thinking. I just smiled and sat back down.

" So Clara where you from?" Reid asked as JJ sat next to me.

" Well I was born in Kansas grew up there for a bit then the rest was spent in Suex Falls North Dakota." I smiled as I looked at the only two people who seemed generally happy to see a new face. "I moved around a lot... I'm one of those kids." I said with a smile and Reid just smirked. " So is it me or do you guys just not like new people?" I asked.

" Ah... it depends." JJ said.

" On?" I asked.

" If we like them or not." JJ smiled. "But don't worry you'll get used to it." She smiled.

* * *

As the day continued to end the other agents started to go home and I was to busy reading the case file and looking stuff up on my computer that I hadn't realized the rest of the team other then Hotch had gone home. I stood and started to head out when I saw the light on in Hotch's office. I smiled and walked to the elevator. As the doors were about to close Morgan had ran into the elevator just in time.

" I thought everyone had gone home?" I asked him.

" Well forgot my phone." he shrugged as I pushed the lobby button.

Just as the doors closed my phone rang and I smiled when I saw it was Dean. " about time." I said as I answered and noticed Morgan look over to me.

I heard Dean's chuckle. " Well sorry!" he said. " We were kinda tied up." he said and I could hear Sam huff.

" Tied up huh? Wow sounds fun." I laughed as did he.

" You know what I will never understand? How crazy people are." he said.

" Well not all people Dean." I said. "Why what happened?" I said as I noticed as the elevator seemed to stop on every floor to pick someone up.

" Oh you know crazy humans hunting people for fun. Sam leaves me at the bar and gets himself kidnapped."

" OH my God." I said a bit loudly and everyone looked to me. I looked over at the ten other people in the elevator and nervously smiled to them. I turned away from them to hide my reddining checks. " Is he okay?" i asked.

" The kids fine!" Dean laughed. "I had to save his ass. After I untied myself." He said.

" After you..." I paused with a sigh. "You two are seriously going to get hurt one of these days and it's not going to be fine." I added.

" Will you stop worrying!" He laughed at me.

" That's kinda what I do!" I said back to him with a laugh.

" Well quit it! Nothing has killed us so far." he said and I rolled my eyes. " Anyways I am holding my end of the deal." He said.

" Deal?" I asked as the doors started to open and people got out and headed for the door. The BAU parking lot was underground so I had to walk back to my car from the front. I got out and noticed everyone but Morgan walked a different way.

" Oh you know the whole threatening when we don't call." He laughed at me.

" Well you know damn well I'll kick both your asses if you don't stick to that." I said as I walked down some stairs and noticed Morgan was juts behind me.

" Well then Miss FBI hows being on the good guy squad?" he mocked me.

" Well I'll let you know when I actually do some good. Headed out tomorrow, and as long as I don't get shot in the chest I'll be fine." I laughed as I walked through the first set of doors and held it for Morgan. He walked past me a bit and did a double take.

"Well what if you get shot somewhere else?" Dean asked in a sarcastic tone. I could just see him rolling his eyes. "You gonna come running back to me and Sammy for help?" He laughed.

" I didn't the other ten times." I pointed out.

" Ten times?" He questioned and then realized. " Wait! You have been shot at ten times! Jesus Clara what the hell have you being hunting?" He laughed.

" Well to be fair only like half of them left damage." I said as I shrugged. "But the one who did the shooting was sorry for it after." I laughed and I looked up to see I was almost near my car and Morgan was still just in front of me and he looked back after what I had said. I smiled kindly at him and he looked away as he pressed the unlock button on his car. I shook my head when I noticed he parked a few spots away from me.

" oh I wouldn't doubt it." He said. " We are headed out to Wisconsin tomorrow something is making the kids in a small town sick." He said.

" Ah saving lives are we?" I asked.

" That's the plan."

" Well just don't get..."

" Oh my God!" He yelled at me with a laugh. " Stop it!" He said.

"Alright! Fine!" I laughed back. " Good luck... hey can I talk to Sam just for a sec?" I asked.

" Sure."

" Bye Dean." I laughed.

" yeah whatever." He huffed back and put Sam on the phone. " Sam?" I asked.

" Hey Clara." He said sounding a bit happier than last I saw him.

" How are you?" I asked.

" Good." He said.

" Really? Just good?" I asked. " Don't lie to me."

" No really I'm good. I'm just seeing her anymore and the nightmares they are going away." He sounded happy.

" Well I'm glad. You two be careful in Wisconsin." I said and I heard Sam chuckle a bit.

" Don't you worry I'll save his stubborn ass." He laughed. "Shut up!" I heard Dean call. "You be careful to Clara." Sam changed his voice a bit.

" Always Sammy." I heard a bit of a laugh and he hung up. I put my phone in my pocket as I reached for my keys. I watched as Morgan turned slightly to see me out of the corner of his eye and he sighed and turned completely I looked down and unlocked my door.

" Oh come on seriously?" He asked throwing his arms up a bit. I didn't even know he was talking to me until I looked up and he looked confused.

" What?" I asked in confusion.

" You come here all out of the blue and mysteriously, you are crazy smart, sarcastic and rigid." he said. "and you have a loud and odd conversation on the phone in front of strangers and now this..." he said pointing to my car.

" Rigid?" I said quietly not understanding what he meant by that. " And what's wrong with my car?" I asked.

" You know I have seen some crazy things in my time around here but never this." he said with a small smile. " I have met a lot of women and I can honestly say I have never said this to a women..." He paused as he looked down, over at his car then back at mine. He looked up to me with a warm smile. " Nice car." he said simply.

I thought he was going to insult me some more but when he complimented my car I smiled. He looked back at his silver Chevy Silverado I smiled when he looked back. " Well thanks. Can never go wrong with a Chevy Agent." I smiled as I opened the door.

" What year?" He asked.

" 1970 Chevell." I smiled. " It was my fathers." Why did I just say that? Morgan looked up to me with an odd look.

" was?" He questioned my wording.

" Left it to me when he died... only thing we really had was this car." I smiled... wait again why did I say that? I shook my head as I looked down. "I'm sorry.. over share." I laughed as I was about to get in my car.

" No no, its fine. I'm sorry about your dad." He said with a small shrug. I looked up at Morgan and he almost looked sorry for me.

" Thanks but it was a long time ago." I said. It was nice of him to say. Wait were we now getting along? " anyways Have a good night Agent." I smiled.

" Just Morgan, or Derek." He said and I turned to look at him again. He laughed. " I'm sorry about the whole first impression..." he said rubbing the back of his head. " I really don't mean to be such an ass." He said with a sigh.

" Its understandable... I get this feeling your team is very close..." he nodded. "you just don't like outsiders." I added. Morgan shrugged a bit. " Don't worry about first impressions they don't mean much. Plus I can be difficult..." I said.

" Well it is really nice to have fresh eyes and a new member." He said.

" Well thanks again." I smiled. " Have a good night Morgan."

" You to, see you bright an early Walsh." He said turning to his car and starting it. As Morgan drove off I started my car and smiled. Once I got home I packed a bag for a few days and fell asleep. 6am came early and the first case is kinda important. I just hope I didn't screw up.

* * *

Well I hope y'all liked it! leave me some feedback... and yes I know my spelling and grammar are not the greatest but as long as you can read the story it shouldn't matter too much.. right? always before you ask... as much as I love Derek he and Clara will not be a thing... but don't worry Dean and Sam will be jealous when they met Reid and Morgan... because I want Clara to feel like she has a family again... anyways if any of you have anything to say or would like to me to maybe add just review and I'll love it! :) Thanks xo


	40. First Case

" Allison Bally, Katey Tiffing, and Wendy Savage. All ten year old girls from West Point California." JJ stood in front of the team as she filled them in on the case. Hotch and Rossi sat at the back of the round table near the door, Reid next to Rossi, Morgan next to Reid and Clara next to Hotch. "All kidnapped from public places, kept for three days, tortured, sexually assaulted then murdered." JJ said in a more somber tone as she finished. " They were all found three days apart in the same stretch of highway leading into town." JJ said as she displayed pictures of the ten year old girls.

" They didn't have clothes when they were found?" Clara asked JJ.

" No. But they were covered in leaves and dirt."

" So this unsub cared?" Rossi suggested.

" Maybe he placed them with out clothes either to keep them as trophies or because he thought nature would do a better job of hiding them." Clara spoke up and everyone looked to her. She was nervous but she had an idea and she had to speak up.

" What makes you think he cared enough to keep trophies or to cover them?" Hotch asked her.

" Well if this unsub didn't care then they wouldn't have kept the girls for so long. Three days, that's a long time to get attached and do a lot of things. Plus they were sexually assaulted before they died not repeatedly, so the unsub must have known them or cared for them to keep them alive that long." She said looking between the file in front of her and Hotch who stared at her.

" It makes sense. If the Unsub didn't have some sort of bond or connection, three days does seem excessive." Reid agreed. " Two days are always the longest."

" And by that time don't police look for a body?" Clara spoke up and again everyone looked at her. The team was shocked she was saying so much. New members don't share on the first day, they sit back and do what they are told.

" True." Hotch nodded. " Alright when we land in West point, Reid I want you and Walsh working victimology, Morgan and JJ you go to the Bally and Tiffing crime scene, Rossi and I'll go to the newest crime scene." Hotch said as he stood. " Walsh and Reid you also may have to talk to the parents if JJ s not back when they arrive." Hotch said. Clara looked to Spencer and he looked more nervous then she did. " Alright wheels up in twenty."

Everyone stood except Clara. " Wait... wheels up?" She asked and everyone stopped at the door. " Wheels up on what?" She sounded confused.

" The jet..." Morgan said as the others smirked at her.

" Like a plane?" she asked nervously as she slowly stood. Rossi and Hotch walked away as they talked.

" Yea... fast one to." JJ smiled.

" Great..." Clara said sarcastically.

" Whats the matter afraid of flying?" Morgan laughed at her.

" I'm not afraid.. Just never did like planes...been on one that almost went down and that was the end of it." She said walking through the door and the three followed.

" Well don't worry about it. The jet is very safe." JJ reassured Clara. She just nodded as they all grabbed their bags and headed for the jet's landing strip which was just down the street from the building.

* * *

As the plane ride seemed longer and longer I was to busy hanging on to my arm rests to pay any attention. The team talked about random things and I would talk every so often but I was scared. I always hated planes, it was just easier to drive. Dean would agree with me.

When we landed in West point everyone went to their assignments and Reid and I sat in a round conference room in the local police station. We went through every record of the families and the children trying to connect them. We had made a list, each kid was part of a summer playground group, but different play grounds. They all had tutors, but were different tutors and different subjects. Each family was well off, each husband had their own small business but were different as well.

" So basically we have sat here for..." I checked my watch. "Three hours and we have nothing..." I said to Reid as he went through more financial folders.

" Well there has to be something." He said.

" or maybe I was wrong and its just random?" I added as I stood at the dry erase board and looked at the three lists.

"No I believe you were right we just have to find the link." he said as the phone rang on the table. " Yeah Garcia what you got?" Reid asked.

" Well boy wonder I got what you have, a whole list of similarities but different outcomes." She sighed and so did Reid.

" Anything about the schools they went to?" I asked and she was quiet for a second. Then I heard the typing of her keys.

" Each went to a high scale public school..." She paused. "OH!" She almost yelled. " How did we miss this!?" She sounded happy.

" Miss what?" I asked.

" Each of the three girls go to different schools but each school offers an art class that each of our victims took." She said.

" art class? Garcia where they at the school or..."

" Way ahead of you newbie." She giggled a bit. I smiled at her laugh. " Each vic took the class for three weeks, twice a week, and it was offered at the community center.. and guess what?" She asked.

" What?" Reid asked.

" Allison, Katey and Wendy were all in the same class, at the same time." I could almost hear the smile she probably had on her face.

" Wow you're good." I said with a smile.

" Damn right." Garcia said. " I'll look into teachers and volunteers at the community centre maybe I'll find more."

" Thank you Garcia." I said before she hung up. As she hung up I looked up through the glass window and noticed three couples coming in. Each man was holding the women close to her as they talked to an officer. " Hey why don't you call Hotch and tell him what Garcia found, I'm gonna talk to the parents and see if they know anything about this art class." I said as I headed for the door.

" Wait... you want to talk to the parents?" he asked not believing me.

" Yeah, maybe they know something." I said opening the door.

He looked at me like a was a bit crazy and then I walked away. As I got closer to the families I could tell how much sadness and pain was around these six people. " Agent Walsh these are Alison Bally, Katey Tiffing, and Wendy Savage's parents." An officer pointed out to me. I shook each of their hands and guided them to a room where they all could sit.

" First I want to express how sorry I am for all of your losses." I said sitting in front of them. I looked from parent to parent and noticed how differently they were taking it. " And I can't imagine how hard all the questions are but I just have a few more." I felt bad for asking but throughout the years of being a hunter you learn how to talk to grieving people. I smiled a bit at them. " Alison, Katey and Wendy all took the same art class. They were in the same class at the same time, do you know if they every talked?" I asked.

" That class has over twenty children." spoke up. " and before yesterday we had never met the Tiffings or the Ballys." He said.

" Same here." Mr. Bally spoke up.

" Us to." Mrs. Tiffing spoke up in a shaky voice.

" alright. Did your daughters have the same art teacher every class?" I asked.

" Yes. They had one main teacher then a few volunteers who sometimes changed." Mr. Bally answered.

" Had anyone of your daughters mentioned someone who made them uncomfortable or anything liek that?" I asked.

" What are you implying? That we ignored out daughter and let her go back to a dangerous place." Mr. Tiffing stood quickly in anger.

" Mr. Tiffing that is not what I am saying." I said standing up and saw the tears of hurt in his eye. " This is in no way yours or anyone's fault." I said in a soft tone. " I just have to make sure. I believe the man who did this attended one of these lessons. So I just need to know." I said as Mr. Tiffing calm down.

" Katey had mentioned on of the volunteers being really talkative." Mrs. Tiffing spoke up.

" Talkative? In what way" I asked.

" Wendy said one had asked her about her home life... this was only a few days ago..." Mr. Savage said.

" Same." Mr. Bally said with his head down.

" Did anyone of them give a name or a description?" I asked. They all seemed to look at each other and then back down. They all shook their heads and sighed. " alright...well thank you so much for you time." I said as I stood up.

" wait... agent Walsh..." Mrs Savage stood up. I turned to her with a small smile. " are you going to catch this man?" She asked and all the other mothers and fathers stood up and crowded around me. That's when I felt out-of-place. I was in the middle as they circled around.

I looked to each of them and smiled. " It is out job to." I nodded to her and she seemed a bit relived. " Excuse me." I said as I looked out the windows and noticed the team had come back. I walked back out to find Hotch waiting for me.

" What did you find out?" he asked.

" All three of the victims mentioned an uncomfortable encounter with one of the volunteers and that none of them ever met before." I answered. "Personally I don't think it's a volunteer."

" Why?" He asked.

" Well in order to run into the same child you kind of have to be a regular or an employee. The volunteers at the community centre are day by day and come in only for one class a week." I said looking at him. " This gut would want access to his target everyday." I said as I started to walk back to the conference room.

" Interesting." Hotch said his arms still crossed.

"What is?" I asked.

" Just the thought pattern you have..." he said. "I'm not regretting this." He nodded as he walked faster into the room to meet the rest of the team. I smiled to myself as I walked in. Garcia was on the phone and had a name. Jack Daren. He was a janitor at the community centre who is always around the art students and he had a record. Minor stuff like theft but then escalated a few years ago to assault and attempted murder.

" How did this guy ever get another job... around kids for that matter?" I asked Garcia.

" I know right! It looks like his parole officer was sure he was rehabilitated."

" Well that isn't what I would call it." Morgan spoke up.

" Where is Daren now?" I asked.

" Hotch! another girl was just taken." JJ burst into the room with two uniforms and two hysterical parents. " Just a few hours ago."

" Garcia...!" Hotch yelled a bit.

" Just a moment..." She said as her fingers typed loudly. " Daren has three addresses, but two are the closest. One is on third street and the other on Maley drive." She spoke loudly. " You want the whole profile."

" yes!" Hotch said as we all listened and JJ got the parents to sit down away from us and had the uniforms stay with them.

" Alright Jack Daren... only child, mother is 80 something, father died in the war a few years ago, that's when all his crimes took place, lost his job, life, and girlfriend, and now his mother has stage four Leukaemia." Garcia said quickly.

" When was she diagnosed?" I asked her.

" About four weeks ago." She said.

" That's when the kidnapping and murders started." I pointed out.

" Daren also has a history of violent behaviour and is clinically depressed, he is on anti- depressant like you wouldn't believe." She said with a scoff.

" Alright, Rossi, Morgan and Walsh go to Third street see if anyone's home, Reid, JJ and I'll go to Maley and knock." Hotch said and we all nodded. " And theres a little girl at stake here." Hotch pointed out before we all took off in our black SUV's toward each destination. I rode in the back as Morgan slammed on the brakes. Garcia had sent us all the background on Daren before we took off and i Was reading it.

" Nervous?" Rossi turned around and looked at me as I looked at my phone.

" No." I said back.

"Really?" he asked.

" Just wanna help the girl." I smiled to him and he nodded.

As we pulled up Morgan went for the door, I was after him and Rossi took the rear. Morgan kicked down the door after knocking three times. He panned out to the kitchen and Rossi the living room. I noticed an open downstairs bedroom and I looked to both men. I waved them over and stepped down first. I slowly opened the door with my gun raised and that's when I saw the Daren with his arm around the girl's neck and a gun to his head.

" Put the gun down Daren it's over." Rossi said. Daren shook his head as the girl cried.

" Put the gun down and no one else needs to get hurt." Morgan said a bit softer.

" Just let me... leave me." Jack stuttered out.

" We can't do that. See we need to walk out of here.. all of us alive." I said and he looked at me with a wicked smile. I have seen some crazy smiles from ghosts and monsters but this one was the creepiest. He loosened his reach on the girl and she pushed up and ran towards us. Rossi reached out and grabbed her and got her out of there quickly. Daren stood up and kept his eyes one. " I still need you to put that gun down." I ordered. He kept smiling. The gun slid slowly from his head toward me. His aim was for my bullet proof vest. I didn't even look at the gun I looked at him. " Jack. You remember your father and your mother?" I asked him he still smiled. Morgan kept a good aim for him. "They love you, and can you imagine how disappointed they would be if they knew what you were doing to these poor little girls?" I asked and his eyes got really wide and he started to shake. " You think they would approve... your life has spiraled out of control for a long time and we can help you with that." I said and he shook his head.

" No you can't." he said. " Let me just die. I can't do this anymore." He whined as he shook more.

" We can't do that Jack, you have to but the gun down." Morgan said stepping closer to me.

" You wont let me die then fine." he said and he quickly straightened his back aimed and fired. I felt the bullet hit the vest and I would have a massive bruise. My first case and already shot. I stumbled back a bit and another shot went off and Daren fell to the ground. I hit the wall beside me as he went down clutching his leg. Morgan ran over taking his gun then ran to me and Rossi came running back in.

" Cuff him Rossi." Morgan said as he looked at me.

I was a bit dizzy and disoriented but most of all I couldn't breathe. I took deep breaths out but they wouldn't come in as good. I quickly reached to get the vest off. I tore the Velcro apart and threw the vest down. The bullet didn't even make it past the second layer of material. I lowered my head a bit and tried to calm down. Morgan reached out for me but I put my hands up for him not to help or touch me. My head was down but arms were up and he didn't know what to do.

" Walsh you alright?" he asked.

I lifted a finger for him to give me a minute and as everything went quiet I could feel my lungs moving again. I tried one last time. Deep breath in and now I could breath. I placed my hand where the bullet would have gone and looked up to Rossi and Morgan. " Fine." I answered with a short breath.


	41. Chapter 41

As the plane touched down I was still hanging on for dear life and everyone was holding back their laughs. " Alright get it out of our system now..." I said just before it landed.

" What do you mean?" Morgan asked with a smile.

" How hilarious it is that a FBI agent is afraid of planes... come on I know you all think it is freaking funny so just out with it.." I said and within a two second window they all, except Hotch started to laugh so hard.

"It's just your hands are white." Morgan said laughing as the plane doors opened and we slowly got off.

" Ok hahah!" I mocked them with an eye roll.

They laughed until we got back to the BAU. Some how Hotch had beat us there and when I got to my desk and just as I sat down he came down the stairs. " Walsh." He said and I stood up quickly.

" Yes?" I asked.

" Two things... One: You proved to be a very good asset to the team today and I want to congratulate on the serial killer you helped us catch. He will serve life in jail for three counts of murder and attempted murder, and even though getting shot on the first day is a new record..." He paused as the team laughed some more. " Nice work." He said.

" Thank you Sir." I smiled. I got the feeling he didn't say that a lot to people and it felt good being praised. Then he started to walk away. " Um Hotch?" I asked and he turned. " What's the second thing?" I asked.

" Oh you have a visitor in the conference room." He said as he walked back to his office. I felt the team staring at me and when I looked to the window of the conference room and saw who it was my blood ran cold with anger. I guess my anger was visible.

" Clara?" JJ asked. " You alright?" She asked.

I didn't take my eyes off the window as the person waiting for me stared back at me and I started him down. " Yeah. Y'all have a good night, new case tomorrow right?" I asked.

" Yeah..." Morgan said. I started to walk toward the door when I noticed the team had not gone anywhere. They stayed put and did paper work. I knew they were watching. I got to the door and when he turned to face me I wanted to do two things punch the man in the face and then hug him, but not necessarily in that order.

" Hi Clara." he smiled at me.

I paused at the door and looked at him. " Hi John." I said crossing my arms. Out of all the visitors I could have gotten, it just had to be John Winchester.


	42. Chapter 42

John walked into the building looking for a stair case. He had come a long way to talk to Clara and he needed to make sure his face wasn't recognized. Hunters were sometimes wanted in more than one states. When he got to the right floor he headed for the only office he could find. " Excuse me?" He asked the man in the suit about to walk into the office. " Can you tell me where I can find Clara Walsh?" He asked and the man turned and looked him up and down.

Hotch turned at the mention of his newest team member's name. He turned and crossed his arms and looked at the gruff looking man. " My team just got back from a case she'll be here shortly."

" So you are Agent Hotchner?" John asked. Hotch nodded. " Well I want to thank you for giving her a chance. Clara hasn't had the most normal life and she appreciates the chance you have given her." John said.

" Well it's my pleasure to add such a smart young girl to my team. She had already proven to be helpful."

" Well good." John nodded.

" You can wait in the conference room if you like." Hotch told John then he walked away.

John waiting in the conference room for Clara to come back. When she did he watched as she walked onto the floor behind the other team members. She listened to them talk and when Agent Hotchner walked up and told her he was waiting her smile faded quickly as she looked up to him through the window. He felt guilty her smile faded but then he watched her storm up to him.

She stood at the door her firsts balled and turning white and her face full of anger. " Hi Clara." John said quietly and slowly.

" Hello John." She said in a flat tone.

" It's really good to see you." He smiled at her and she shook her head slightly.

" It's good to see your alive." She nodded. John seemed to smile and she still shook her head. " Almost a year." She said and John knew where this was going.

" Look before you even start..."

She stepped closer and cut him off. " No, No. You're going to hear this. It's been a year since me or the boys have seen you. Sam's girlfriend and my friend died, they went back home and needed you there, they called countless times and so did I, and Dean..." She paused and he noticed the hurt in her voice. "Dean.. almost died and you were nowhere to be found." She said walking closer with anger rising her voice.

The team watched from their desks as Clara lost her smile and turned very angry. She stepped closer and they could all see she was ready to hit the mysterious man. Rossi had come out of his office to see the team staring at the conference room.

" What's going on?" He asked.

" Don't know. Clara has a visitor... looks like she is not very happy to see him." Reid pointed out and Rossi looked to the window.

When Rossi looked at the man looking at Clara he couldn't help but recognize him. He squinted and then remembered. He was going to go talk to them but then he saw how angry Clara seemed to be. How did Clara know John Winchester? Rossi asked himself as he stood with his team.

" A year..." She stuttered out as she looked at him.

" I know but I have been busy."

" Busy?" She laughed. " Too busy for your sons?" She asked and John hung his head.

" It's about the demon..." He said in a hush tone.

She lost all her anger and her face went blank. " _the_ demon?" She questioned. He nodded. Clara looked down and sighed. " Alright, I think my co-workers have seen enough." She shook her head as John looked out the window to see a few people looking. One he thought he knew. "435 Tenner Street, apartment 14 second floor." She said reaching for her keys. " Go and we can talk. But I better find you there, don't run out on me just yet." She seemed to smile a bit.

John took the key and slowly started to walk out of the conference room. When he got to the stairs he was approached by the man he thought he knew. Then it clicked. " Well I'll be damned." John laughed. " David Rossi." He smiled as they shook hands.

" John. It's been a while." Rossi smiled back. " How've you been?" Rossi asked.

" Good. How long you been a fed?" John asked.

" Shortly after I got out of the core." David smiled. " What have you been up to?"

" Odd jobs here and there. But right now I have to get going." John said looking behind him as Clara stared at the two men. John shook David's hand as he started to walk away.

John reached the elevator and when the doors closed Clara looked away. She ran her hands through her hair and sighed as she looked away. She could tell all eyes were on her and she needed to get back to her apartment before John got bored and ran away again. So she took a deep breath and tried to swallow her anger. She reached for her phone and looked for Dean's number. She was about to dial but she couldn't. Her anger started to get worse and she didn't even realize she was biting her lip. She had stood alone for a ten minutes with her hands pressing on her head and the look of anger on her face not washing off. Then just as she was about to leave when she felt the sting of a tear in her eyes. Clara shook her head and tried to suck the tear back in but it fell and she whipped it away.

" Did you see that." Reid spoke up. They all saw her whip her face. " Is she okay?" He asked JJ and Morgan.


	43. Chapter 43

I stood in the conference room alone and tried to hide the tear that fell but I knew they saw and I was embarrassed. I looked down then up as I walked out of the room and when I got to the stairs I was stopped by Rossi.

" You alright there kiddo?" He asked.

I smiled. " Yeah of course." I was faking my smile and I knew he knew.

" You know I just figured out why you are so familiar." Rossi said.

" Me? Why?" I asked and he smiled.

" Major David Walsh is your father." He said crossing his arm.

When he said my father's name I felt my heart sink. My arms dropped to my side and I'm sure my face went white. " What?" I asked quietly.

"I served with your father." He paused and noticed the look on my face. " In fact I served with John Winchester too." He said and I sighed.

" Well I..." I paused and looked down.

" I ment to visit David and John. How is your father?" David asked and I couldn't believe he asked me that.

I looked around and noticed the team looking and listening. I sighed. " Agent Rossi my father died seven years ago." I said looking up in a normal voice. His eyes grew a bit in shock.

" Oh.." he said rubbing his arm in nervousness. " I am so sorry. I didn't know..." he said.

" Oh it's fine." I smiled.

I was about to walk away when he stopped me. " Do you mind if I asked how?" he asked.

"Umm Rossi I really have to go..." I said nervously.

"Sure. Sorry." Rossi nodded as I headed toward my desk. Again I could feel my team watch me. I walked quickly to my desk to grab my bag. " Hey Clara?" JJ asked from behind me.

" yeah?" I asked turning.

" You alright?" She asked. " Couldn't help but notice the mood change."

" Oh I fine. But I do need to get home and deal with something." I smiled to her as I walked away quickly. It's not that I didn't like the people I was working with its just I couldn't involve strangers in my world.

" Well have a good night." Morgan said.

"Not sure good is the word." I laughed back at him as I jogged quickly to the elevator.

When I finally got home the door was unlocked. I walked in quickly. "John?" I asked throwing my keys and bag at the able next to the door. He didn't answer. I huffed loudly as I picked up my bag again and walked to my room. I placed my bag on my bed and when I looked over to my nightstand I noticed my picture was missing. I walked back out and saw John sitting on the couch holding the picture. "John?" I asked walked over and sitting next to him.

" you know sometimes I forget Sam and Dean have good memories." He said.

" Well why wouldn't they?" I asked with a small laugh. " Everyone dose." I said.

" True but all the goodness in their lives came from you." He said looking up to me and placing the picture back in my hands. The frame was big enough to fit three pictures. The first in the corner was from when we were teenagers just before the boys left and I didn't see them for a few years. I smiled at how big Sam's smile was and happy Dean seemed to look as I stood in the middle and they wrapped their arms around me. Next was the one of Bobby and me. I was sitting on the hood of my car with my arms around Bobby's shoulders squeezing him tightly. I laughed because he was smirking and I had a big smile and I remember the boys laughing at Bobby for having a soft spot for me. He told them to shut up and they just laughed more. The last picture was taken just before I left for Virginia. I was sitting on the hood of the Impala with Dean sitting next to me and Sam leaning on the hood on the other side. Dean's smile had gotten smaller but his eyes were full of hope but Sam was different. He looked tired and I could see how strung out he was. "You are the best thing those boys have ever found." John said.

" I don't think the best thing." I laughed at him.

" Well all I know is they care more about you then anyone else." he said. " And I don't think I ever thanked you for that."

" Thanked me for what?" I asked as I pulled the frame closer to me.

" For being there... God knows I haven't." he said looking away.

" John what's going on?" I asked. " What's wrong?" I asked.

" Why do you think something is wrong? I can't visit?" He laughed.

" You can... but after disappearing for almost a year then showing up out of the blue and acting like this." I sighed. " I have known you for a while... plus I have studied behaviour for three years and now I'm part of a behaviour analysis team... so I know something is up." I smiled. " So please..." I asked turning to him.

"I have been after the demon... I have gotten very close and I think I might me catching up." He said in a hushed tone.

" Well that's great." I smiled. He sighed. "But I have a feeling it isn't great."

" I am so close and I just have this bad feeling something bigger is at play." He said.

" Bigger? What could be bigger then finding the demon that killed Mary and Jessica?" i asked.

" I don't know. Just an instinct I have." He shrugged.

" And what do Sam and Dean think about this feeling?" I asked. John looked away and didn't answer. He was quiet and stood up and walked away running a hand on his face. " You haven't called them have you?" I asked as the anger started to rise again.

" I can't." He said.

I laughed at him with anger and he heard it. " You can't? Well here." I reached into my pocket and threw my phone at him. " First two numbers are your son's." I said and he placed the phone down. " I am sure they would be freaking thrilled to know your alive!" I yelled at him and he looked up at me.

" Clara calm down." He said.

" No, John you disappear to go after the thing that started it all and you won't call you boys! How does that even make sense?!" I asked shaking my head at him. "Like it drives me crazy when I haven't heard from them or Bobby within a week or two... how do you think they are dealing with their father avoiding them!?" I threw my hands in the air.

" I can't. Not yet. I have to find it first. It's to dangerous for them." John said.

I rolled my eyes. "John you raised your boys hunters... all they know is danger." I said and immediately I regretted saying it.

"What?" he raised his voice. " What are you trying to say? That I'm a bad father!? I didn't raise my boys right?" I sighed and looked down. "because I am pretty sure I raised them better than your daddy did!" He yelled and with that my anger level reached sky-high. My head snapped up and I narrowed my eyes at him and he didn't even seem sorry. " Maybe if your father was a bit smarter he would still be here and you wouldn't have had to grow up with a bunch of danger freaks!" He yelled at me. I balled my fists and I knew they were turning white again.

" Get. Out." I said with a demanding and angry tone. His eyes widen and he looked surprised. John then realized he had crossed a line. His face sunk in a bit and he looked confused.

" Clara I'm Sorry... I didn't mean..." He said noticing how angry I was not.

" Everything my father knew about hunting he learned from you and Bobby!" I yelled at him. " At least Bobby had the decency to take me in and tell my dad not to do what he did!" I said stepping forward. " But what did you do? Nothing you left my father to be ripped apart by those hounds!"

" He ordered me to get out... He made me..."

" You had no right to save me! What made you think I wanted to be saved!" I yelled back.

" Don't say that! You have a great life and that is because your father was looking out for you!" John yelled back at me.

" So I could live the rest of my teenage years in fear, being taught about the things that kill people in the dark, learning how to kill and not be afraid of the things that came to me in my dreams every night!" I yelled back. I was so angry but I didn't want to. " yeah you taught Sam and Dean to fight and be strong but do you know how hard it is to get them to actually care about something other than revenge or finding a better way in life?" I asked him. " You denied them the thing they really needed!"

"Yeah and what's that?" He laughed at me.

"Someone to be there and tell them it's all going to be okay and that its okay to be scared and they don't have to hunt and they could have normal lives and grow old with someone and have a family! Someone to tell them that they are loved and if something happened to them others would be affected to!" I felt the tears started to reach my eyes.

" What do you mean by that?" John questioned me.

I took a deep breath. " Nothing. Just... leave. Please. Go back to the demon hunt and for the love of God call your sons and tell them you are alive!" I yelled at him as I stormed pasted him and opened the door for him.

" Clara..."

"Don't John... just don't." I sighed. " Please just go..." I said as he started to walk toward the door.

He was about to step out when he turned and before I could stop him he hugged me quickly. "I'm sorry." Was all he said then he was gone. he walked quickly down the hall and was gone again.

I shut the door with a slam and walked back over to the couch and looked at the pictures. I sat back and quickly fell asleep. It wasn't even three hours before I was woken by the growling and barking. I sighed deeply when I turned to my phone and saw it was 5:20. I had to be back at the BAU by 7. I was still really angry and needed to punch the crap out of something. So I showered and headed to the FBI building but went to the gym.

When I walked in with a tank top and shorts I noticed there was no one else around. So I headed straight for the punching bag. Once I got there I started hitting and I didn't even realize how angry I really was. Sometimes I thanked myself for not being a drinker. I would have a serious drinking problem if I drank to hid my anger.

"Stupid... Marine...Thinks he knows whats best...how hard is it...god!" I stammered out angrily. I was hitting the punching bag so hard it was swinging hard and I kicked and punched with all my might.

" Wooh Tiger!" I heard Morgan's voice come from behind the punching bag. The bag came around and when I went to kick it he stopped it and I kicked him in the side instead.

Once I kicked him and he stumbled a bit. I jumped back and covered my mouth with my hands after my loud gasp. "OH MY GOD! I am soooo sorry!" I said as he seemed to laugh. " are you alright?" I asked.

He straightened up and smiled. " Yeah I am alright." he said as he rubbed his side. " Damn girl you pack a good roundhouse." he laughed.

I pushed my hair back and huffed out. " Thanks..." I shrugged. " What are you doing here anyways?" I asked him.

" I was going to ask the same of you." he said. " Oh and I could hear your angry ranting from down the hall." he laughed.

" Was I really that loud?" I laughed at myself.

" Yeah... something about a stupid Marine who clams to know what is best." Morgan said as we walked over to a near bench.

" Oh you heard all that huh?" I asked hanging my head. "Sorry... I just needed to hit something." I laughed.

" Hit something?" He laughed. " That is very strange... what is wrong with a shot of whiskey or Rum?" He laughed.

" Oh I don't drink." I said.

He laughed loudly. I just looked up to him and smiled kindly. "Oh your serious? Wow that is even more strange."

" Yeah yeah I am strange." I laughed in agreement. " But call me strange again I'll kick you again." I smiled.

He chuckled. " Well I take it last night was not good?" He asked.

"Good is not the word Morgan." I ran my hand through my hair. "You know how family can be." I rolled my eyes.

" Wow that bad?" He asked.

" I think I made it worst... made a big deal of something small." I laughed.

" You don't seem like the drama type." He pointed out.

" I'm not..." I sighed. " Just this man pushed my buttons."

" The guy who was here yesterday?" he asked and I nodded. " You didn't seem to happy to see him."

I laughed again. "I actually was." I shrugged and Morgan looked at me like I was crazy. " I know what you are thinking... you see someone you want to see, you hug them or go out for dinner... you don't yell at them call them an idiot and kick them out of your house." I sighed.

" Oh I don't know... I kick a lot of people out of my house that I like." he shrugged.

" Yeah but I have absolutely no intention in sleeping with John." I laughed.

" Oh come on that was low." He laughed.

" Am I wrong?" I asked.

" True." he smiled.

" I can't believe I just told you all that." I said and he shrugged.

" Well I did ask. Plus it's nice to know your not a robot or someone trying to tear apart my team." he shrugged.

" Why would I wanna do that? You guys I can see you're a family. I would never be the reason a family can't be together." I sighed looking down at my bag and reached for my phone.

" No offence Clara but you are one very different puzzle." Morgan smiled as he stood. " I'll see you upstairs.. I have a feeling you need to make a phone call?"

" yeah I do." I smiled up to him as he walked away.

As I got out of the shower and changed putting my hair up I decided to call John. I got the voicemail quickly and it was surprising. " Hey John... It's me... I am really sorry about last night. I just... I don't know. But I am sorry." I sighed and hung up. I was in the elevator when I got a call back. I thought it was John but it was Sam. "Sammy? Hey." a smile came to my face as the doors opened and the seemly empty BAU floor came to sight.

" Hey Clara how are things?" He asked.

" Well since the last time we talked not much. Heading out on another case in a few hours... you?" I asked.

"Not much heading out on a vamp hunt..."He said.

" wow! Hey you tell Dean to be careful. Last time you did that I had to stitch him back up." I laughed.

" It wasn't my fault!" I heard Dean try to take the phone from Sam.

" Oh sure." Sam yelled back. It sounded like he had pushed Dean away. " Anyways I just wanted to call and tell you that..." he paused.

"Sam you okay?" I asked noticing the nervousness in his voice.

" I just have a bad feeling." he said.

" Sam you have these feelings a lot... what is going on?" I asked.

" I don't know...Just something about this case and its like something bad is going to happen..." He said.

I walked over to my desk and noticed Reid with his head down reading, so I sat at my desk and turned away. " Sam listen to me..." I paused. " Everything is going to be alright. You need anything Dean is there and he sure as hell won't let anything bad happen and I'm always around." I said.

" Thanks Clara." He said and I could tell he had a smile on.

" Alright I gotta go but you boys call me later alright?" I asked.

" Yeah. Bye." he said and then he hung up.


	44. Chapter 44

Thanks so much for the great reviews and all the favorites and follows! I love that you love it! :) Well enjoy I got more for ya make sure to tell me what you think!

* * *

It had been a long couple of days. A man had broken into homes in a small town in San Francisco. He would kill the mother and father first and then go after the children. We only had a few smudged finger prints that lead to no one. I had suggested that his pattern was important to something about his childhood. But after a while the murders had started to escalated. Our profile was not working.

" So we have three families all dead, no suspects and an unsub who sadistic, works alone, and was more about the torturing the father then the mother and children." Morgan pointed out. " And a pattern that is basically all over the place now..." He said looking over to me.

" No witness, and no evidence.. It's like he is overly aware of not leaving a trace..." I said. " He even wraps the bodies in cellophane to keep things clean."

" Your right that is odd... kinda like going out-of-the-way to be clean."

" AGENTS!" A police officer ran into the room out of breath. " There has been a another murder... but the daughter.. she is still alive!" He sounded happy.

" He kept the daughter alive?" Reid asked.

" Well now she is at the top of his list..." I said.

" List?" The officer asked.

" The daughter knows what he looks like and can identify him... So she is in danger." Hotch said.

" Morgan and Reid why don't you go to the hospital and talk to the girl."

" Umm Hotch?" I asked and he looked to me. " Wouldn't it be better if you sent another girl to talk to the child? She just lost her parents and the last thing she needs is to be intimidating agents harassing her."

" Harassing?" Morgan sounded offended.

" I didn't mean to.."

" No.. no your right." Hotch said. " Reid and Walsh you go talk to the girl and the rest of us will go to the other family and crime scene." Hotch said.

* * *

Me and Reid headed to the hospital and it was a sad drive. It was awful that a little girl had to see and go through something like that. We were advised that the young girl, Sarah was not talking. She was only 13 and she was in shock. Sarah was injected with a poison that her medicine cancelled out. I didn't pay much attention to the technical stuff I just looked through the window to see a very sad and scared little girl.

" So you wanna talk to her first?" Reid asked me.

" Yeah sure. I'll try." I smiled as I slid the door open. But before I walked in I closed it again. " But first I want two officers on watch here 24/7 till we find this guy." I said. Reid nodded. " You should go tell the chief that and I'll be in here."

" You want me to talk to the Chief?" He asked. I nodded as I opened the door and closed it behind me.

When I walked in there was a uniform sitting next to Sarah. The officer was sitting in the corner reading a book. He didn't look up to me or the little girl as she sat with her head down and she breathed deeply. I walked in and she didn't look up either.

"Um excuse me officer?" I asked and he finally looked up. " Could you give me and Sarah some time alone?" I asked and he looked at me not knowing who I was. I pulled out my badge. " Agent Walsh, with the BAU assisting on the case." I said and he looked at the girl then left. I nodded to him and smiled. I stood at the end of her bed and listened to the slow beeping. " Sarah?" I asked she didn't move. " Sarah, I'm Clara. I was hoping me and you could talk."

She slowly looked up and I wanted to sigh. She had a long mark on her cheek. The unsub had hit her and thought he killed her but she was only uncontentious. I couldn't even begin to think about what she woke up to see.

" I already told that cop all I know." She hissed at me pulling her knees to her chest. " Now go away." She said.

" Sarah I know how hard this must be for you and I am very sorry... but I need your help to find the man who did this." I said still standing at the end of the bed. " I just want to help."

" Help? It would have ben helpful if you were around before my family was killed!" She hissed at me.

" I know." I said nodding my head and she looked up in confusion.

" Well if you know, where was the FBI?" She asked.

" We were building a profile so we could catch this man before he hurt someone else." I answered her in all honestly.

She squinted her eyes at me. " A profile?" She questioned.

" Yes. Me and my team we analysis behaviour and catch serial killers. It's difficult but out methods work."

" Work? Well no offence you suck at your job." She said rolling her eyes.

" Well maybe with your held I can be better?" I asked.

" What could I do? I don't know anything." She said.

"Sarah you know more then you think. You are just trying to forget it... witch is very common, everyone dose it when they have been through something like this." I said.

" Like this?" She questioned. " My family is dead and you are standing here talking to me about behaviour." She said.

" Well do you mind if I sit?" I asked and she looked up. " Look Sarah, I am so sorry you have to go through this but you could help me and others." I said pulling a chair closer to her bedside.

"Others?" She asked.

" If you remember anything about this man it could lead us to him and he would never hurt anyone else ever again." I said looking her in the eyes.

She squinted again. "You don't talk like all the other cops. They all treat me like a little girl." She said.

" Well you're not a little girl. And you know I'm not a cop." I smiled. " But you could help."

Sarah didn't say anything else. She just sat there and then after a minute laid down and turned away. I sighed. " Go away please." She said and I stood and left the room.

" That was quick." Reid said as he stood outside the door.

" She wouldn't talk to me. She is still a bit out of it and in shock." I said shaking my head. " You should go back to the team and see what they need. I'm gonna stay here and see if I can get anything out of Sarah." I said.

" Well the team thinks we need fresh eyes so Hotch wants us all to go back to the hotel and get some rest." Reid said.

" I'm not just going to leave her alone." I shook my head. " You go get some rest and I'm going to stay." I said as I reached for the door.

" Walsh, come on we all haven't slept in a like two days." Reid said.

" I know, and I won't sleep until this Unsub is in jail." I said and Reid sighed and walked away pulling out his phone. I smiled at his concern but I couldn't just let Sarah be alone. So I walked back in and she was trying to fall asleep as the sun went down.

"Why are you still here?" She asked with her back facing me.

" Because I want to help. So you try and get some sleep and I'll be here if you need me." I said as I sat down.

" I don't need you." She said with a huff and shutting her eyes tightly.

The next few hours went by quickly. I had closed my eyes for a minute but was woken by my own dreams. I sat up quickly with a gasp. I was breathing heavily and kept my head down. I didn't even notice Sarah sitting up.

" Nightmares?" she asked. I looked up quickly. " I can't close my eyes because I'll see them die again." She said looking down. Then the tears started to form. "Will the nightmares go away?" She asked.

I took a deep breath and smiled. " In time."

" Then why are you having them?" She asked.

" I wasn't." I said back to her trying to make her feel better but it wasn't working, she was smart.

" I'm not dumb. I can see it in your eyes and the way you twitch in your sleep." She shook her head at me. "What are they about?" She asked.

"Sarah, look I know its hard but you really have to get some sleep. Unless you want to talk to me?" I asked. She shook her head. "Why?"

"Because you won't understand." She said laying back down and then pulled her blanket over her head. I sighed as I sat back in my chair and tried to go back to sleep but I have no luck. When the sun finally decided to come up Sarah still would not talk to me. I went to grab some coffee and when I got back Hotch and, Morgan and JJ were standing out side the door.

" You're still here?" Morgan asked. I nodded.

" I thought Reid told you we all needed a break." Hotch said crossing his arms.

" He did. But I stayed." I said reaching for the door.

"You can't refuse orders." Hotch said to me.

" Look Im sorry but she is only 13. She shouldn't have to be alone." I said. " We don't even know if she has relatives."

"Actually we do. She has an Aunt from Phoenix who is on her way." JJ said.

" Good. Maybe she will be happy to hear..."

" GET AWAY FROM ME! HELP!" We all heard Sarah yell.

We all rushed in quickly to see two nurses next to her trying to get her to calm down. They had come in earlier to check up on her and when they went to touch her she freaked out. Sarah thrashed and tried to get away from them. When she finally broke free of the nurses she jumped up and tried to run away. I quickly stood in front of her.

" Sarah. Just calm down." I said putting both hands up in front of her as she tried to jump down from the bed.

" NO! He's coming!" She yelled at me.

" Who is?" I asked as she slowly breathed in and out.

" The man." She whispered.

" What man?" I asked.


	45. Chapter 45

I was expecting her to yell and scream some more but instead she collapsed and started crying. She pulled her knees in close and sobbed. I looked around at JJ and the nurses and they all looked very sorry for her. Hotch just looked at me waiting for me to do something.

" Can you tell me what he looks like?" I asked. She shook her head. " Sarah, I can catch this man, make him go away for a long time." I said. "Can you just tell me what you remember?" I asked.

" So alone." She repeated three times as she rocked back and forth. "Their all dead. I'm alone?" She said as she looked up at me.

" Your not alone Sarah." I said grabbing the chair and pulling it closer to her. " You are going to be alright I promise you. You just need to tell me what the man looks like." I said.

" How do you know?" She asked. " My mom and dad are dead, how do you know I'll be alright! I don't feel alright." She said. " How?" She sobbed out.

" Okay Sarah listen to me very carefully." I said as she tucked her head between her knees. " No look up at me. You have to hear this alright?" I asked. The room got quiet.

" Walsh just give her..." Morgan started but I put my hand up to stop him.

" Sarah?" I asked as she slowly looked up and the room fell silent. I blocked out everyone else in the room I wished they weren't here but I needed to get through to Sarah and I knew how. "Just take a deep breath..."

"But.." She started.

" Sarah just listen." I stopped her with a smile. " Breath in and out." She did as I asked. " Now, Sarah you are going to be alright. People like to think young kids especially girls aren't strong and they can't handle tragedy." I said as she just looked at me. " But they are wrong. We are strong. People who go through pain and hardship they learn to enjoy life more. They know how short our time is." I said and her eyes got wide and watery. " I know you think it's all over but I am living proof that things work out." I nodded.

" What?" She asked in a cracked voice.

I took a deep breath. " When I was just a bit older than you my father was taken from me. Someone got into our house and attacked him. I was so scared that I ran away. I didn't see the person's face and I couldn't help the police find the person who killed my dad." I said in a low tone so she would listen. " My dad was all I had in the world, and I thought it was all over too, and I thought I was alone." I sighed as her eyes dropped tears. "But the I found these two." I said pulling out my wallet from my purse taking out a picture of me and the boys. I sat on the hood of the Impala while they sat next to me with smiles. My arms were around them and theirs around me. I handed her the photo and she looked at it. " They are my brothers." I smiled. " Sam and Dean. They took me in, protected me and made everything alright." I said and I could feel the intense stares coming from my co-workers. " I know what is like to lose everything, but you can get it back." I said. "Now I was too afraid to help find the guy who kill my dad but I know you are stronger." I said nodding my head as she held the picture tightly and looked at the picture.

It was quiet as I looked at her tight grip on my picture. "Its was dark." She finally spoke. "The door was locked, I always made sure but he still got in." Sarah continued while her eyes stayed fixed on Sam and Dean. "I heard my mom yell out first then my dad. He told me to run away but I was frozen at their door." She sighed. "He was tall, taller than my dad. Wide shoulders, deep demanding voice." Sarah said with a sigh. "Dark blue eyes, small lips, and he now has a cut on the left side of his face." She said finally looking up at me. "I fought back." She said and I smiled a bit. "But it doesn't matter what he looks like." She said.

"Why?" I asked.

" because I know his name." She said looking back down.

I couldn't believe it. I looked up to Morgan, Hotch and JJ. They all had the same looks on their face, confusion and shock. "Do you want to tell me his name?" I asked.

" Bradley... " She paused. " He was a nice guy." A tear fell.

" You knew him?" I asked.

" Him and my dad were newly friends. He came over the night before to have dinner with us." Sarah sighed. Again I looked up to my team and their eyes were fixed on my and Sarah. " Bradley... Smith, I think." She looked up.

" Thank you Sarah." I said.

" Make sure he pays for it." She said with a sigh.

" You guys should get Garcia on Bradley Smith." I said and Morgan dialled her number quickly and him and Hotch walked out the door. I couldn't help but notice the look of suspicion on Hotch's face.

JJ stood looking at me for a minute before the guys came back. " Bradley Smith, 112 Donner Drive, apartment 15." Morgan smiled to me and Sarah.

" Alright let's go." Hotch said. I sat back down beside Sarah. "Walsh?" he asked.

" You guys go. Arrest the on of a bitch and throw him in jail. I'm going to stay here until you have him in custody." I said.

Hotch nodded as they all left JJ and Morgan looked at me before they left. Almost with sorrow and confusion. I smiled at them as they took off and looked back to Sarah who was still holding on to the picture. I smiled at her as she looked up.

" You have an Aunt in Phoenix who is coming to get you. Soon you can have this whole thing behind you." I said and she nodded with a sigh. " But it does take time Sarah." I sighed. "I'm not going to say it is easy because it isn't but you'll be okay." I said and she nodded.

" They don't look like you." She said.

" What?" I asked.

" Sam and Dean they look nothing like you. They look similar but you..."

" Family doesn't just end with blood." I said and she looked up. "I have knows those two since I was 16. They taught me how to defend myself, and a bunch of other things. They may not be blood related but they are my family." I smiled. Sarah smiled a bit as she looked at me.

Sarah smiled a bit. "Kinda sounds like the beginning of a romantic comedy." he shrugged.

" Really?" I asked sitting back.

" Yeah." She looked up. "Come on, the heart-broken girl is saved by two boys. They grow up together and they become insanely good-looking and she falls for one." Sarah said.

"Falls for one?" I asked.

"Yeah, you gotta be going after one of these two." She stated. I just couldn't believe I had gotten her talking. " So which on is it?" She asked. " The cute, tall, skinny nerd, or the broad shoulders tough handsome?" She asked. I smiled at her and I shook my head and looked away. " Oh come on. I don't need the whole story just the one you're in love with."

I smiled at her. I was quiet for a second and she handed me the picture. " You know he is much more than he looks. Sure he is handsome and tough but deep down... there is a whole different guy." I said and she smiled as she leaned closer. "Not the prince charming type. More like natural-born hero." I smiled up at her.

"Wow." She smiled. "That would be a great movie." She said.

"You think?" I asked and she nodded. "Well one of these days when you..."

" Bonding our we?" a male voice interrupted us. I stood quickly. He was just like Sarah had described. From the dark blue eyes to the scar on his face. I pushed Sarah behind me as she let off a gasp. Bradley Smith had walked into her room with a loaded gun that was now pointed at me.

Sarah gripped my arm tight as she held it behind me. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't reach for my gun without him firing. So I tried to talk. " Bradley." I said. " Put the gun down."

He laughed. " Oh come on agent. You think the whole appealing to my better nature will help you here?" He was right. I knew it wouldn't work. So I slowly tried to reach to my side. " Don't even think about it." he aimed for my head.

" Okay." I said pulling my hand away from my side and putting it up while Sarah gripped the other one. " What do you want?" I asked.

"Well what I wanted was not to get caught but this little brat saw me and somehow got away." He said looking behind me to a shaking Sarah. "and now I have to kill you and her." he smiled.

" Every cop in the city including my team is looking for you. You won't get away with all those murders." I said.

He laughed again. " You think your team can stop me? Please!" he shook his head.


	46. Chapter 46

"Sir, Bradley has no other know residence or land... or anything!" Garcia said out of options. Morgan had called her when they arrived at Bradley's house finding it empty. Hotch had made her go through everything in his life and all the pieces fit.

Bradley Smith was born into an abusive home, his father killed his mother and brother in a fight 20 years ago and he was just put on death row when the killings had started. He didn't have a job, he had many fake names and he was arrested when he was younger for cruelty to animals and assault with a weapon.

" Where would he go?" JJ asked as the team stood outside his house.

"The only place he can be identified." Reid spoke up.

" You think he would be that dumb?" Morgan asked.

" Dumb? Why? Where did he go?" Garcia asked on the other line as the team talked. They didn't answer. " Hello? Where did he go?" She asked again.

"It makes sense the only person who can place him at the scene is Sarah." Reid said. "Eliminate the threat and he could get away."

" He went back to finish what he started." Morgan sighed as they all started to rush to their SUV's.

" Is Sarah alone?" Garcia asked as they all jumped into their vehicles and took off.

"Walsh is with her." Morgan answered.

" Oh God..." Garcia said. "Well I'll get every uniform over there. You just hurry and beat him to them." Garcia said hanging up the phone quickly.

" Hotch he has a head start." Morgan pointed out.

" I know." Hotch said as Morgan slammed on the gas and they all took off.

" Just hope we get there in time." Rossi started. " Do you think she knew?" He asked.

" I have no idea Dave." Hotch shook his head.

" What about the story she told. The one about her father? Anyone else find that a bit..." JJ started.

" Fake?" Hotch finished.

" Heart breaking." JJ corrected him.

The rest of the ride

was quiet. They were at the hospital with in five minutes and when they rushed in they were prepared for anything. Only they were hoping it wouldn't involve finding a new team member.


	47. Chapter 47

" You know I can't decide if I want to kill you first or the girl." Bradley said as he circled to stand right in front of me. " The girl I could get done with but then you... I bet you would be fun." He said.

" Oh you have no idea how much fun I can be." I smiled at him as I heard people running toward the room. That's when I let out a breath of relief. The team had showed up just as I finished my sentence. "Looks like your time is up." I said.

" Bradley Smith! Put the gun down!" Hotch's voice was loud and demanding.

" and if I don't?" Bradley smiled.

" That's your choice." Rossi said as they all took their aim.

He let out a chuckle and pressed his finger on the trigger. "looks like I get to see how fun this would be..." he said and he let his finger squeeze. After his shot went off and I jumped to the side to cover Sarah, three more shots were fired and Bradley fell to the ground.

I felt something pierce my skin as I fell and my whole arm throbbed. I could feel Sarah pushing me up as I sat up quickly and leaned my back on the side of the hospital bed. " You alright?" I quickly asked Sarah as I placed both hands on her shoulders.

"ME!" She yelled. "What about you!" She said looking to my left arm.

" Walsh!" Reid and JJ yelled as they and the others rushed over.

" I think he shot her." Sarah said as JJ grabbed her hand and pulled her away. I placed my hand over the now bleeding bullet hole in my left forearm and flinched when I finally felt the pain.

" Damn! I guess he did." I said swearing to myself.

" Well it is a good thing you got shot in a hospital." Morgan pointed out and I rolled my eyes at him. I looked up to Rossi and Hotch who just looked down at me with confusion and a bit of anger.

* * *

The doctors sat me on a bed as they began to dig out the bullet. Yeah it hurt like hell and I yelled out a bit but I have been through worse. They stitched me, gave me a speech about being extra careful while I heal, and then wrapped my arm up. They gave me a chance to go see Sarah one last time before they discharged me. So I made my way up to her and when I got there JJ was in the room with her and the Aunt.

" Agent Walsh?" The aunt spoke up. I looked over to her as I walked in. " I just want to thank you for protecting my niece." She said taking my right hand and shaking it. I smiled at her with a nod.

" How are you doing Sarah?" I asked.

" Alright." She said looking to JJ and her Aunt. "I'm going to go live with my aunt and my cousins." She said.

" Good." i said as I reached into my pocket. " You ever need anything you can call me anytime alright?" I asked as I handed her my card with my cell phone number on the back. "Even if you just need someone to talk to. Just never feel alone alright?" I asked looking at her.

" Alright." She nodded as her Aunt smiled to her.

" and! When you become a famous writer or director and make that movie you make sure to call so I can see how it all ends." I smiled to her.

" Well you have to write the ending." She said.

" Oh sweetheart there is no ending because there is no beginning." I shook my head. "It will never work. Trust me. But that doesn't mean you can't make it." I smiled.

" Have you tried?" She asked as i noticed JJ looking to me.

" No." I said.

" Well maybe you should before time runs out." She shrugged.

I smiled at her. "Maybe." JJ walked out first and before I left Sarah made sure to give me a hug and a thank you.

When we all got back to the hotel I could tell they wanted to say something to me but no one said anything. So we all packed our things and met at the airport. The three-hour ride was quiet and I could tell I was getting the cold shoulder from Hotch and Rossi. I sat alone in the back with two seats facing me. I had my legs resting in the seat in front of me as I still held on to the handles tightly.

"Walsh?" Hotch said as he walked over and I sat up quickly.

" Sir?" I asked pushing my hair back and rubbing my eyes.

He sat in front of me and looked at me with disappointment. " In the future when you are trying to establish repor with a witness or family member don't build it on a lie. You misrepresent your self and this team. We rely on trust and if a witness was to discover your lie that trust would be broken and so would our purpose." he said in a demeaning and aggravated tone.

" With all due respect Sir, I did not lie. Nor would I ever." I said sitting up straight. I took a look around and noticed everyone had their head slightly turned so they could hear.

" The story you told Sarah was one hundred percent the truth?" he asked not believing me.

" Yes." I was offended he didn't trust me. " Agent Hotchner, I would never lie to a kid or would I ever joke or fake my back story to get trust." I said looking him in the eye. He just stared back at me. I huffed and reached for my purse. I pulled out the picture and pushed it into his hands. I was aggrieved my self. " That is me a few months ago with Sam and Dean. My God-Father Bobby took it. He was the one who took me in when my father was ripped apart by a maniac." I said flatly and I could see the change in mood in his eyes. " Now I realize that may not be in my _file..._" I mocked his tone, which was not a good thing, kind of childish. "But they are family, no matter what a blood test would show." I said. " I just didn't think the FBI needed to know my entire life." I said waiting for his reply.

Hotch looked at the picture for a moment then up at me and he could tell I was being serious. He handed me the picture. " My apologies." He said and walked back to the front of the plane alone as he looked through a file avoiding Rossi and my gaze. I rolled my eyes as I put the picture back and sat back.

" You know he means well, just trying to protect the badge." Rossi said as he sat in the seat next to me.

"Which includes my personal life?" I asked crossing my arm.

" Hey I get it. We all have a personal life but you'll see. In this group we all know everything about each other. It's hard to hide when you basically live with profilers." He shrugged.

" You all know everything about each other?" I asked. "Like no privacy..."

" Well we have secrets but they come out eventually." He sight. " hazard of the job."

I laughed at him. " No hazard of the job is getting shot my a serial killer..." I shook my head pointing to m arms. "not people digging through your life." I scoffed.

When we landed we all went straight home. Hotch went to his office without saying anything and the team went their own ways. When I got home I showered trying my best to disrupt my wound, and then re-bandaged it. I sat on the couch staring at my phone on the coffee table. I wanted to call John again, I wanted to call Bobby but most of all I wanted Dean to call me.

I still couldn't believe I let one of the biggest secrets slip to a thirteen year old. She could see right through my lie. It was impressive but then again I couldn't imagine I would ever admit it. Sure I love Sam and Dean but was I really _in_ love with Dean Winchester? I asked my self that at least fifty times before I stood and walked away from the table. Just as I reached my room the phone rang. I didn't want to answer it, I wanted to sleep but when I saw who was calling I had to answer.


	48. Chapter 48

" Well hello." I smiled.

" Good your still awake." Dean said with a sigh. I didn't even notice how late it was until he said that. 12:30. I had to be back at the BAU in 6 hours.

" For you I'm always awake." I said as I sat back down on the couch and laid my head back a bit.

" How flattering." He laughed.

" What can I do for you this time?" I asked. I went to put my arm behind my head and I felt the rush of pain hit me quickly. I couldn't even stop the "ouch." that came out.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Um... nothing." I said trying to change the subject, but as I tried to move again I caught my arm on the pillow. "Oh my god." I said to myself with a laugh.

" Uh Clara you alright?" Dean asked.

" Yeah I'm fine. You know it should be a lot harder for serial killers to get firearms. There should be like a test for that." I said. Then I mentally kicked myself for saying anything.

" What!" he sounded more worried than normal. " Serial killers, guns what the hell Clara?" He asked.

" Okay calm down." I said. " Its no big deal. Just the last case I worked the guy kinda took a shot..." I muttered out.

"Kinda? What does that mean?" He asked.

" Um well it hurt." I laughed and he huffed angrily. "Hurt a lot less than the one I got in the vest... crap." I said.

" Twice?!" Dean almost yelled at me. " You have had this job for what a week and you have already been shot twice?" he asked with a hint of anger in his voice.

" Yeah well I saved a little girl..." I tried to justify it.

"Holy crap." He huffed out at me. " Are you serious?"

" Well I'm alive." I said. " plus not like I have never been shot at before... and you shouldn't talk!" I yelled back with a laugh. "How many bullet holes have me and Sam stitched up for you?"

" That's not the point." He said.

" Yeah well I don't care what your point it. You called me remember?" I reminded him to get back on track. He was quiet. He didn't say anything. " Dean? You still there?" I asked.

" Yes." He said with an exhale.

" Okay then why did you call?" I asked guiding him through the conversation.

" Sam wanted me to ask if you had talked to John." Dean said still not happy.

" No? Why have you?" I asked.

He paused. "Your lying." He said. " Me and Sam are on a vamp hunt and guess who shows up." Dean said.

" Well that is great." I smiled.

" No not really. See last time we spoke he said it was too dangerous to be together because the demons could use us against each other." Dean spoke in a flat tone. That's when I knew John had mentioned our visit. "I agreed with him. He left and we haven't seen or talk to him in months. Then shows up out of the blue. Don't you think that is strange?" Dean asked.

" Well yeah. But John has always been the type for strange." I answered nervously.

" Oh come on cut the crap. He told us Clara. Made a little visit to the FBI and had a talk with you." Dean said not happy I had just lied. "What did you talk about?" he asked.

" Look Dean it's not..."

" What did you talk about?" He asked sounding more and more pissed off.

" Wait are you mad at me?" I stood from my couch and started to walk around my living room as I talked.

" Clara why didn't you tell us?" Dean asked.

" Because he said he needed to keep his distance. So I figured, his kids, his choice." I said back to him.

" You didn't yell at him or anything you just sat there and let him walk away?" Dean asked.

I shook my head and huffed at him. " No I threw his ass out of my apartment."

"What! Why?" Dean was now pissed.

" Well one, he shows up after a year he ditched you, no phone call just shows up at my office and starts talking about the demon he was after. Yeah I listened..."

" And you didn't think to call us!" Dean interrupted me with his yelling.

" Will you let me finish!" I yelled back. I waited and he shut up. " I listened and told him to call you and Sam. I told him that whatever he was going up against he needed help and you two should be there. Then he yelled at me, so I kicked him out." I finished my story. Dean was quiet.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

I sighed angrily. "Because it is not my place. John would have found you the minute he needed you... and look he did." I said. " Now are you done yelling. I have had a long week, and kinda need some sleep." I said. He didn't answer. " Alright well goodnight Dean. You and Sam have fun killing monsters and maybe work out some of your daddy issues while you're at it." I said.

" Daddy issues!" He yelled at me. " Oh please you should talk." He said then he seemed to get quiet quickly. " I.. I didn't..."

" That's why I kicked John out. You know what Dean..." I paused as my anger built again. " I feel bad for Sam right now. Stuck with you and John. Did he pitch a fight yet and mention the reason he left in the first place? I bet he did because John is to worried about killing and revenge and you are to worried about following orders then thinking for your self." I said in one breath.

" Oh come on Clara will you stop using the same insult every time. Just... just go back to mending that bleeding heart and try not to get yourself killed by a psychopath. Wouldn't want to have to make the trip to get your corpse and burn it." He said and he hung up. My mouth fell open when he hung up.

I threw my phone to the couch. " I hope a vamp runs you over." I said under my breath.

* * *

**OKAY! So I need a bit of help...**

_**I don't know if I should break up this story into more than one. Because I don't know if it is too long to be more than like 50 chapters... because Clara and the boys are going to go through a lot. I mean I am only close to then end of season one! I want her worlds to collide somewhere in season 4 beginning of 5. But I want to stress how thick and awesome their relationship it. I just don't want you all your give up and quit on me... so any suggestions would be lovely! SO please! Review and let me know!? Lovin all the love so far! Thanks xo**_


	49. Chapter 49

**OMG thank you all sooooo much! I love all your reviews and answers. I still have no idea if I'll split it up but hey I'll cross that bridge when I get there:) I love hearing you like my story! Please always review makes me want to write more...**

**OKAY! Here we go... so hold on because shit is about to real. This isn't going to be easy... in fact I may have already cried while I wrote this and the other chapters... anyways thanks so much and enjoy! :)********_xo_**

* * *

And that is the last conversation I had with Dean in just under a month. He never called back, John never called and Sam left only one voicemail just after our yelling match. I must have dialled their numbers at lest 50 times a week but never pressed the send button. I was mad, disappointed and just tired.

For that next month our team was busy. We were gone every other day to a new town, new case and more dead people. I was starting to understand what Rossi said about being around the same people for so long secrets just slip. I had managed to get them to like me. Agent Hotchner however still kept a close eye on me and everything I did. I think he still didn't believe my whole story I told to Sarah.

The team did ask about it a few times but I alway changed the subject. Reid would tell me changing the subject meant I was hiding something but I always told them they did not want to know the sappy tale of this agent. Garcia was the one who seemed to grow on me. Morgan was usually the one to call her but when I did she sounded happy to hear me. We would go out for coffee with JJ and talk about just random things. It was nice to have girlfriends for once in my life. JJ told me about her boyfriend Will, who lives in New Orléans, and Garcia always told me about the cute guys she saw every day at the BAU.

Rossi never asked about my dad again. I wanted to ask him how close he had gotten to John and my dad but I was afraid the whole supernatural part would come falling. Morgan and I were good work out mates. We would even beat each other up from time to time. He would flirt kindly and I would back but I knew as nice as he was and even though he was incredibly good-looking he was not my type. Reid always gave me good books to read. Sure some where heavy and almost 500 pages long but I was never bored with all his facts, and stories.

They seemed to be adjusting to having me around but I was not adjusting as well as I thought I would. Although I had the team who I could now call friends, I still felt very alone. I didn't get calls from the three people i wanted to hear from the most. I missed Sam and Dean everyday and I regretted not calling and picking a fight with Dean. Sure Bobby called every now and again but I still wondered what they had been up to. Every now and again I would get this really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that something bad has happened. I wished that feeling would go away.

"Never ceases to amaze me." JJ said as she sat across from me on our way back from Texas. We had worked a rape and murder case where our Unsub killed more than ten prostitutes in the span of two weeks. It was a very brutal and long case. I got on that plane having that feeling again and it made me feel sick. I still hated that plane but I had no choice. "I am just because they sell their bodies, doesn't make them any less like you or me. Right?" She asked but I was spaced out staring out the window. "Clara?" She asked me waving a hand in my face.


	50. Chapter 50

I jumped a bit. " I'm sorry. What?" I asked rubbing my eyes.

" You haven't slept at all have you?" Reid said as he made his way over. "The bags under your eye suggest its been about two or three days." He said sitting next to me.

" Yeah well I never did sleep well in hotels... even the nicer ones." I laughed.

" You know people who don't sleep at night are usually the ones who have higher levels of stress and anger bursts." Reid said looking around and noticing the looks everyone was giving him. He put his head down after that.

" Well I can tell you my stress level has nothing to do with me sleeping." I said patting him on the back. He smirked at me a bit.

" Well then what is it?" JJ asked.

I looked at her and Reid who looked a bit concerned. "I'm sure it's nothing. You know that feeling you get when you think something bad is about to happen?" I asked and JJ nodded. " Well its like multiplied by like ten." I sighed. " But I have no idea why." I shook my head.

" Well maybe its just you being cautious." She shrugged.

" Maybe..." I sighed no believing it.

The rest of the plane ride was quiet. I tried to get some sleep but the plane bounce and I held on for dear life. The team still thought it was funny. When we landed I headed back to the office with the rest of them to finish paper work. Reid left first with Rossi after they were finished and I could tell they couldn't wait to get home.

I somehow had fallen behind on my case reports and I looked up from my mount paper to see Hotch in his office. His head in his hands as he wrote and looked serious. I stood and walked over. I knocked. " Come in." He called out.

"Agent Hotchner?" I asked. I had gone back to calling him agent after he accused me of lying to Sarah and calling my story fake. It's not because I wanted to be spiteful, I just wanted to seem more professional. " You have a minute?" I asked.

" Yeah sure." he said putting his pen down and looking at me. He squinted as he looked into my eyes and saw the bags Reid was talking about before. " Walsh you should go home and get some rest." he said looking back down to read.

" I will... Just after you tell me what I did wrong." I said standing in front of his desk.

" What do you mean?" he asked with a sigh.

"No offence but ever since you confronted me about my story I told to a witness last month you have talked down to me, not trusted my judgement and second guessed any call I tried to make." I said looking at him. "And I would just like to know why." I said he was quiet. " You still think I lied to Sarah?" I asked.

" As much as you think you were doing the right thing Walsh... I just can't have members of my team spreading lies."

" But I didn't lie." I said shaking my head. " I know it seems really hard to believe but I didn't." I said. "Lying is what got me in the mess I was in..." I said.

" Its not that I don't believe your story, I just can't have an agent under my watch who I can't completely trust." he sighed.

" Why can't you trust me?" I asked. He said nothing. " When you hired me you thought I had potential right?" I asked and he nodded. " You told me not to make you regret your decision... you remember that?" I asked. He nodded again. " Well I have worked really hard to make sure I don't make you regret the faith you once had in me." I said. " Hotch I'm not an idiot I know how to do my job." I said.

" i realize that." He said standing. " and I still have the same faith you will succeed." He said.

" Then why am I in the dog house?" I asked and he smirked a bit.

"Your not." He said. " I just don't think you understand the hazards of the job. I have gone through a few agents to know that newer and younger isn't always better." He said. "Case and point your sleeping habits. Durning cases you don't sleep. I have noticed and so has everyone else." He said.

" Hotch it isn't a problem." I said.

" I think it is."

" Hotch I haven't had a good nights sleep in a very long time. But I can still think and can still do my job you just have to let me." I smiled.

" Alright. But I would advise you to do something about it because you will burn out." he said. " Now go home and get some..."

" Agent Hotchner?" a knock came to the door and a man in a police uniform stood at the door looking very nervous. He was skinny and in his mid 30's.

" Yes?" Hotch asked.

He looked between me and Hotch. I noticed the Missouri seal on his shoulders. He took off his hat and walked in a bit. " Soorry... to um.. sorry to interrupt but I am looking for... for a... Clara Walsh?" He asked and I looked at him quickly.

" Well you found her." I smiled kindly at him and his nervousness grew when he looked to me.

" Um Miss Walsh..." he stuttered out. "I.. I uh have.." He stopped and took a deep breath. " I have some bad.. bad news." he said and my back stiffened.

" What kind of bad news?" I asked turning to face him completely.

" Well it is about... There..."

" I'm sorry but can you just spit it out?" I asked kindly and he nodded.

" There's been an accident and... I need you to come with me." he said.

" Why? What kind of accident?" I asked as I started to get scared. Hotch looked at me when he heard the crack in my voice and he walked around his desk and stood just beside me.

" We got a call from a truck driver down in Jefferson City who calms he blacked out and hit a car..." he said looking down. "he drove a black 1967 Chevrolet Impala off the road."

" Oh God..." I lost my footing. I felt my knees give out. I looked down and looked back up.

" The men inside were badly injured. So I need you to come with me." He said.

"How badly were they hurt?" Hotch asked as he watched my face go white.

" No better question where are they?" I asked.

" At Jefferson City General. I have a helicopter waiting. We can be there with in a few hours." He said as his tone got steady.

My heart was racing a mile a minute and I couldn't breathe. " Clara? You alright?" Hotch asked placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Um... No. I need to go with him. I'm sorry, I know the FBI isn't just a job I can leave without notice but I need to go." I said.

Hotch saw all the pain in my voice and eyes. " Of course take as much time as you need." he said.

" Thank you." I smiled at him. The office was already at the door and he was waiting for the elevator. " No takes to long. Stairs." I ordered as I ran to my desk grabbed my purse and phone and he ran to the stair case with me.

" Clara?" Morgan and JJ asked as I ran past them. I didn't stop to answer I just pushed past them and ran down the stairs and out the doors fast then ever before. The helicopter was waiting.

" If you can get me to that hospital any fast I'll give you fifty bucks." I said to the pilot and he did as I asked. An hour and a half I sat with my hands clasped together tightly as my mind thought of every possible situation. When we landed I didn't wait for the pilot to touch ground. I jumped out of the helicopter and ran for the doors.

When I got into the hospital all I could think about were Sam and Dean. Where were they? How were they? And most of all where they alive? I ran quickly to the receptionists desk I was out of breath when she smiled up at me.

" Three guys were brought in here after an accident. Where are they?" I asked.

" I know who you are talking about. I just need to know your relationship with the three men." She smiled at me kindly.

"What?" I questioned her as I tried to catch my breath. " The freaking police just brought me here! Why does it matter?" I asked.

" I can't just let anyone in..." She started.

" Clara?" I heard the break of Sam's voice and when I turned my head my heart completely broke. His eyes were full of tears and he had scratches and one arm in a sling.


	51. Chapter 51

" Oh my God. Sammy." I ran to him and hugged him. His one arm gripped my back tightly as I felt the warmth of his tears on my neck. he tucked his head down for a minute. I think he was trying to hide the tears. "Jesus. Are you okay?" I asked as I slowly pulled away.

" Yeah I'll be fine... but um..." He stopped.

" but what?" I asked as the tears started to form in my eyes. I was scared. He looked away and said nothing. " Sam stop it your scaring me." I said as a tear fell and I let it hit my shirt.

" I don't think Dean..." he stopped. "It's bad Clara." he said as more tears came to his eyes and tried not to fall.

" How bad?" I asked.

" I don't know. They won't let me in." Sam said.

" Well let's go." I said gripping his hand as he led the way toward the room just at the end of the hall. My heart was pounding trying to get back together but the minute I saw the doctor out side waiting for Sam with a clip board and a straight face it began to shatter again. He looked at Sam and walked away. Sam squeezed my hand tightly as we reached the door. He was in front so I couldn't see anything until we both walked in. Sam's eyes grew and I clutched my chest then my mouth.

"I..." he started then he was quiet.

The sight before me was heart shattering and it hurt. All I could hear was the sound of the heart rate monitor at an unsteady pace. Dean was laying in the hospital bed, with a large gash on his forehead, marks on his face and some blood seeping through the thin gown he had on. Then was the tube sticking out of his mouth. He wasn't breathing on his own and there were other machines hooked up to him and more tears built in my eyes and it burned.

" Oh my God..." I said quietly and shaky.

" Your father is awake." The doctor stepped in. " You can go see him if you like." He said looking at me with a sigh.

" What about my brother?" Sam asked.

"Well he sustained serious injury. Blood loss contusions to his liver and kidney. But it's the head trauma I'm worried about."The doctor said.

" What kind of trauma?" I asked not liking the tone in the doctor's voice. Sam still had a tight grip on my hand.

"It's early signs of cerebral edema." He said.

" Jesus." I swore knowing what that could mean.

Sam looked at me with narrow eyes. " Well can we do?" He asked.

"Well we won't know his full condition until he wakes up." The doctor said. "_if."_ The doctor corrected himself.

" You better watch your tone." I said taking a step forward getting angry that the doctor didn't know to fix Dean and he was already giving up.

" if?" Sam sounded just as pissed as me.

" I have to be honest, most people with his degree of injuries would not have lasted this long." He paused looking at us. " He is fighting very hard." He said. I shook my head at him. " But you both need to have realistic expectations."

" Yeah well with all due respect you can take your realistic expectations and shove them up your ass." I said though my teeth. The doctor looked over at me with wide eyes. " Because he is waking up." I said raising my eyebrows at him and giving him a cold stare. I felt Sam tug back on my hand and the doctor left. " You should go talk to your dad. I'll stay here." I smiled up at him as the tears built again. Sam was quiet for a second. " Sam?" I asked and he looked dazed. "Go talk to John and we'll be here." I said.

When Sam left I sighed and tried my best to hide and stop the tears. I walked over to his bed side and my heart was pounding so hard I could hear it. I had to sit before I fell. My knees were weak back at the BAU and not they were just one more second away from caving. The chair next to Dean was hard but I didn't care. I pulled in close and reached out for his right hand. I hesitated before I held on because I was afraid it would be cold.

* * *

**Well that was tough... Honestly when I saw this episode for the first time I was a mess... just tears. I have always been a Dean girl so when you see him all banged up and in a hospital bed it hurts lol... anyways let me know what you think! :) xo **


	52. Chapter 52

As Dean wandered down the hallway full of people no one saw him. He called out and no one answered. When he found himself looking down at his own body he started to freak out. An outer body experience was something he never thought would happen. Then he heard someone walking down the hall quickly. A smile came to his face once he saw his brother walking. " Sammy." He said focusing on him. " You look good. Considering." he smiled at him self but of course Sam heard nothing.

" I..." Sam started to say but then stopped.

" Oh my God." He Dean heard a cracking familiar voice. Dean's attention was now on Clara. The smile on his face got bigger.

" Clara." He said but she didn't look to him just at his body. He walked around to face them. Sam looked confused and hurt, but Clara was different. She looked tired, scared and Heart-broken. Her eyes were big and full of tears as she looked at his body. " Please tell me you can hear me. If anyone was going to it would be you two..." he said getting worried. " Come on man you're the physic." Dean almost yelled at his brother. " Nothing?" Dean asked throwing his arms up and then he saw the doctor come in. Dean noticed the change in mood in Clara as the doctor started to doubt it.

" _if _he wakes up." The doctor said and Dean looked to him with pure anger. He looked at the shocked face of Sam and Clara.

" Screw you doc I'm waking up!" Dean yelled.

" But you must have realistic expectations." he said and Sam looked down.

" Come on Sam, go find some Hodu priest to lay some mojo on me and I'll be fine." Dean said to Sam.

It was quiet as Clara stepped in front of Sam. Dean had not noticed that they were holding hands. And now he was a tad jelous. Why, Dean had no idea but what he wouldn't give to hold her hand right now. One minute she looked scared and now she was pissed.

" Yeah well with all due respect Doc, you can take your realistic expectations and shove them up your ass!" She yelled at him. Dean smiled at her. Even when what happened last month didn't stop her from defending him. That was something he loved about Clara, she never ever gave up on him or Sam. Then in a demanding and forceful tone she spoke again. "He is waking up." The doctor left after she stared at him with anger. Dean watched as she turned to Sam and told him to go talk to their dad. She insisted that he should make sure he was alright and that she would be there when he got back. Dean went to follow Sam out of his room when he saw Clara sit quietly next to his body. Her eyes were still full of water. He notice how her eyes looking his body up and down to try to stop the tears, but the more she looked the more her eyes gazed over. She reached out for his hand and she stopped before she touched him. Dean stood at the door waiting to feel her warm hand on his. But when she finally wrapped her hand around his he felt nothing.

"Why can't I feel you?" he asked with a sigh. She said nothing and he went to make sure his dad was alright.

His father asked about him and when Sam told him he sighed. He didn't look like he was all that worried. He looked back to Sam and asked about the Colt. Then just before Sam left he said something that almost made Dean punch him. " We'll look for a way to save him... but Sam I don't know if we'll find anyone." His dad spoke very sure of himself. Sam put up a bit of a fight but then started to walk out. "You should get to the impound lot and empty that trunk before someone finds it." John said.

" Yeah Bobby is meeting me there." Sam said. " Dad? The demon said he had plans for me... do you know what plans?" Sam asked and John sighed.

" I have no idea." John said as Sam nodded then walked out back toward Dean's room. Dean leaned on the wall in the corner looking at his dad. He was starting to lose faith to. How could so many people already give up on him?

"Well you know something." Dean could tell his father was lying. He shook his head and headed back to his room. Sam was with Clara.

" I'm going to meet Bobby and see how bad the damage is."

" You know no matter how bad it is Dean will fix his Baby however long it takes." She seemed to force a small smile.

" Oh trust me I know." Sam said with a smile. "I'll be back. Maybe you should find a hotel room and get some sleep... you don't look to good." Sam said. That's when Dean noticed the circles and tired eyes Clara had. Her bright brown sparkling eyes were sad and fading.

" No, I'm fine." She said as she hugged Sam. "Now go I'll be here." She said.

" but Clara?"

" Not until Dean wakes up." She said to him with all the seriousness she had. She walked back over to his side and sat there and reached for his hand again. Dean watched as she hesitated again and then when she placed her on top he sighed. He felt nothing.

Sam left after she told him to and Dean stayed with his body and Clara. He stood across from his body and her. He sighed when she held his hand. He could see how hard she was holding on but he couldn't feel it. Again he would give anything to feel it.

" Remember when you promised you would be careful and not die?" She asked him. " Well I hate to break it to you but you are doing a shitty job of keeping your end of the deal." She laughed out a bit. Dean listened to her words but her tone was breaking and full of pain. " So we are waiting for you to wake up. So please..." She paused. " Please don't leave me alone." Dean's heart-broken when he heard how quiet and broken her voice said. Her head fell to her hands that were laying on his. She was breathing deeply. " You can't just die. Okay? You can't. I don't care what it takes... you just stop it right now." She begged.

"Hey. I'm not going anywhere." Dean said. " Come on Clara if anyone was ever going to hear me... Clara?" He asked but she couldn't hear him. " Look I'll be fine. Sam and Bobby are going to do something and dad well he will call everyone he knows." Dean tried to reassure her.

"I didn't mean to. I was just mad!" Clara yelled at Dean as she shook.

"Calm down." Dean said. " It's alright."

She was quiet for a minute. The tears had stopped building but now they were back. "When we last spoke I was so mad at you... but I have no idea why. We do that a lot. Yell and hang up for no good reason." She shook her head.

"Yeah we should really cut that out. You when your mad is not a pretty sight." Dean joked.

" I wished you would get hit by a car." She whispered out. " You hung up and I wished you would get hit by a car." One tear fell. "What kind of person does that?" She questioned herself.

" Hey it's no big deal." Dean shrugged.

Clara took a deep breath. " I'm so sorry." She shook her head. Then she whipped the tear away and rubbed her face. Then she started to laugh.

"What are you laughing at?" Dean smiled as he looked at her.

She didn't say anything she laughed for a minute then sighed. "You remember that night me you and Sam snuck away from a hunt?" She asked. " I was 17? You guys had just showed up out of the blue again and brought Bobby along. We drove all night to a crappy motel room. Bobby snored and I didn't sleep. You guys knocked on the door at like 1 in the morning and kidnapped me." She laughed. "You took your dads car and tried to drive off quietly. I yelled at you to bring me back but you told me to shut up and just go with it." She smiled. " Sam had this big smile on his face. You said it was his idea to take off. He directed you to the middle of nowhere in a nowhere town and you parked in a field." She paused and looked out the window. " You pushed me out of the car and onto the grass. Sam pointed out almost ever constellation he could find, you made fun of him and I laughed because you started calling each other names."

" I remember that." Dean smiled. " You complained the whole ride that you were tired and wanted to sleep but once we got there you wouldn't stop talking."

" I ask if you guys did this often and Sam said you never took off in the middle of a job. I asked why and you looked at me and said because sometimes it just nice to look up and not see darkness." She smiled as she gently stroked his hand.

" I don't remember being so cheesy back then." Dean shook his head. But he knew he said that. Sam had complained about hunting the whole time they drove to Bobby's and John picked a fight and Sam was pissed and the only way to get him in a better mood was to do something he wanted to do. It was Dean's idea to kidnap Clara.


	53. Chapter 53

*FlashBack*

_" What are we doing? Why did you drag me from my comfy bed?" I asked in a bit of a whine as I sat in the back of the Impala. The boys had knocked on my door and pulled be out of the room. I was kidnapped._

_" Will you just relax. It's not like you were sleeping anyways." Dean laughed as he drove quickly and then stopped in the middle of a field. I sighed when he got out. Sam opened my door and dragged me out. _

_"Me and Dean we work a lot and we like to relax every now and again." Sam smiled. _

_" Oh God!" I yelled. " Did you kidnap me, lure me with your good looks into an empty field to kill me?" I asked with wide eyes. Then I laughed. " because you can try... but I'll kick your ass." I said to Sam as I lifted my leg as we walked away from the car and kicked him in the ass. "So what is relaxing about this?" I asked. Sam sat quickly and then grabbed my arm and pulled me down. "Ugh Sam..."_

_"Clara shut up for a minute." Dean laughed as he lay beside me. Sam rolled his eyes. " This was your idea Sam so you deal with it."_

_" You are the one who wanted to bring her." Sam shot back._

_I smiled when I heard that. "Wait... you don't want me here? Great see ya later boys..." I stood._

_"Not so fast." Dean reached up and jerked me back down. He pulled hard enough for me to fall on my ass and fall back onto his chest. Sam had looked up and Dean pulled me closer to him. "If I have to suffer so do you." he laughed in my ear. _

_I pushed him away with a shake of my head and smirk. " You're an idiot." I laid down next to Sam and Dean as they looked up. "Alright... who is going to tell me what we are doing in the middle of a field at 2 in the morning... its cold out here." laughed. _

_I noticed Dean had sat up a bit and taken off his leather jacket. He had once told me it belong to John. It was one of Dean's favorite things, aside from the necklace Sam had given to him one christmas which he still wore. " Here." he said placing it next to me. _

_I tilted my head to him. " Thanks." I sat up a bit and slid my arms inside and smiled at the warm jacket. "I take it this is your idea Sam?" I asked looking to him as I lay back down._

_" Just wait..." he said looking at his watch. " There!" He said pointing to the sky. I looked up to where he was pointing._

_"wooh.." I smiled at the shooting star that lit up the dark sky._

_" And there's more." Sam smiled as he pointed to another. _

_The three of us sat there for two hours as we watched the meteor shower go by and it was honestly the coolest things I have ever seen. "How many times have you done this?" I asked. _

_" For the last what... three years Sam?" Dean asked. _

_" Yupp... but we usually watch the shower from the porch of a hotel or just the street. First time we stole dad's car..." Sam said. _

_" Wait you stole the Impala?" I asked. " Dean if your dad finds out we are all screwed." I laughed. _

_" He won't." Dean smirked at me. " We should actually be heading back soon... before Bobby wakes up to find you missing." Dean said. _

_" Oh crap... yeah let's do that." I smiled as they got up first. They each took my hand and pulled me off the ground._

_In the time we drove back Sam had told me more about things he and Dean did to kind of escape the hunter life. I listened and loved every story. In a few years they even planned to go to Vegas for a few days. Dean drove into the motel parking lot slowly hoping not to wake anyone. Sam got out first and before Dean got out I pulled back on his shoudler. _

_" Why did you bring me along?" I asked as I handed him his jacket. _

_He smiled. " A few days ago Sam told me that you thought the hunter life was full of darkness and hurt." he said. " And I wanted to show you that sometimes you can look up and see a good thing. It's not always this hard. Sometimes you can look up and not see darkness." he smiled taking his jacket and got out. _

_I sat for a second and smiled as I climbed out of the Impala. " Well goodnight boys." I smiled. Then I saw their smiles drop and they sighed. _

_"Where the hell have you three been!" John and Bobby walked out of a room with anger in their eyes. "You disappear in the middle of the night and no note?" Bobby asked me._

_" Look I..." I started. _

_" and when did it occur to you that stealing my car and taking off was a good idea Dean?" John jumped to conclusions. He always assumed it was Dean's fault. I hated when John did that. "What the hell were you thinking?" John asked._

_"He was thinking I asked him to." I spoke up. " Don't blame Dean it was my idea to sneak out." I said putting my arms at my side. _

_"Why?" John yelled at me._

_"Does it really matter?" I asked. _

_He shook his head at me. " Bobby, I don't think she understands the risks... maybe you should fill her in on the danger of..."_

_" No I understand everything perfectly. I know it could have been dangerous but I wanted to get away and I dragged them into it." I said looking over to Sam and Dean. Sam's head was down as he stood behind his brother. Dean just looked back at me with confusion. He couldn't fathom why I was taking the blame for something they had thought of. _

_John looked down at me. " So you stole my car?" he asked not believing me. _

_" Yupp." I smiled up at him with sarcasm. He looked pissed. "What? You going to call the cops and have me arrested?" I asked shaking my head. _

_" Bobby." John looked up to him. "Take her inside and from now on don't let her out of your sight." He shook his head. _

_"I'm not a child you can't lock me up and throw away the key." I laughed. _

_" Clara. Let's just get back to our room." Bobby reached for my arm. _

_" And keep her there." John said. _

_" You know you may have mind control over your sons but you can't tell me what to do John." I said back to him. _

_"Clara!" Bobby yelled at me. _

_" Alright." I nodded. " Goodnight boys." I smiled to them. John watched as the boys watched me and Bobby head back to our room. Ever since then me and John always had this like hate relationship. We would get along for about a minute then we would be yelling at each other. It didn't make sense but it's just how it was. _


	54. Chapter 54

"Even back then you always defended us. Why?" Dean asked. He wished he got an answer.

"You know..." She paused as she leaned in a bit closer to him and held his hand. "I think that's when I knew..." She paused.

"Knew what?" Dean asked as he walked over to her side and knelt.

" That's when I knew I was..."

" Hey Clara." John interrupted Clara. He hadn't heard her talking and he wanted to check on Dean.

Clara's head tilted up to see John wheeling himself into Dean's room. She smiled at him. "Hey."

"No... no You knew what?" Dean asked her over and over.

" Why don't you get some coffee..." He said. "I just need a minute to talk to Dean."John said and Dean looked at his dad and shook his head.

" Well he doesn't answer so you may be disappointed." She stood with a smile.

He noticed the bags under her eyes when she passed him. " Clara? When was the last time you got some sleep?" he asked.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that." She sighed.

" Well because everyone can see it." John answered her.

She groaned as she rubbed her eyes. " Yeah I know... We were out on a case and..."

"How long?" he asked.

"I don't know a few days..." She answered and he looked at her like he didn't believe her. " Alright its been like five days..."

" Jesus Clara you're going to burn yourself out." John exhaled.

" That's what Agent Hotchner said. But I'm fine." She grinned at him. " And I'll be better when Dean wakes up." She nodded.

John looked to his son then back at Clara. " You know you can go home and get some sleep. Me and Sam can handle this." John said.

" I'm sure you could." She said back. "But I need to be here."

"Why?" John asked. Clara looked at him in shock.

" Dad!" Dean scolded his father. Why was he acting like this?

"Why what?" She asked crossing her arms.

"Why are you here?" John asked. " I mean you have a life back in Virginia. Nice job and apartment why don't you..."

" Stop!" She snapped at him. "Don't you **dare** tell me to go home." She said with fury in her voice. " Your not the only person who cares about them! You may be their father but you aren't the only person who feels guilty, or angry, or is always worried about them." She said as the tears built up in her eyes again. " So stop acting like you are the only one who feels like you need to protect them." She yelled back and John's eyes narrowed at her. He could see the tears but he didn't care.

" I am the only one who needs to protect them!" he yelled back.

Clara shook her head with a laugh. " Well you are doing on hell of a job." She spat at him and whipped her head around and stormed out of the room.

" Clara wait!" Dean called out and followed her out. She stopped at the end of the hallway and pushed through a pair of doors that led to a stair case. She stood on the top stair and fell to the ground. Her back was pressed against the wall and she hit her head back a few times.

As one tear fell he could see she just needed to cry but she just refused. She wiped her face and took a deep breath. Her phone start to ring and she answered it. "Hello?" she said as dean slid next to her.

" Hey Clara it's Derek." He said.

"Hey Derek whats up?" She asked trying to hide her cracking voice.

" I was about to ask you the same."

"Who's Derek?" Dean asked trying to listen to the conversation.

"You ran pretty quickly out of here earlier and we were just wondering if you were alright?" he asked.

" Yeah of corse I am." She smiled a bit. "Just friends of mine were in an accident.."

"Oh I'm sorry. How are they?" he asked.

" Well minus the family drama they're going to be alright... Hey Derek is Spencer around?" I asked.

" Spencer? What there is another guy?" Dean asked.

" Yeah. Hold on.." he said. " Hey kid!" I heard him yell. "Clara wants to talk to you."

"Thanks Derek." I said and he handed the phone to Reid.

" Hello?" He sounded odd.

" Doctor Spencer Reid just the person I wanted to talk to." I smiled when I heard his quiet voice.

"me?" He asked.

" he's a doctor?" Dean asked.

" Yeah, Spencer tell me what you know about cerebral edemas?" I asked. Dean looked at her with a smile.

" Um... what about them?" He sounded confused.

"Just tell me what the chances of someone surviving one." I told him.

" Well cerebral edemas are pretty serious... Why?" He asked.

" Reid just.. humor me. Please." Clara sighed.

" Well it depends on the patient and the other injuries they have. But I would say about 10 or 20%." he said.

"Of waking up?" She asked.

" Of living." Reid corrected me.

" Wow... okay.." She took a breath.

" Clara are you alright?" he asked.

" Yup... I gotta go." She said immediately and hung up. She dropped her phone to the side and she hung her head a bit. "Well Dean you better be ready to beat the odds." She said to herself.

" Hell yeah." He smiled. "Don't worry Clara. I'm waking up." He smiled as he stood and ran back to his room. Clara stayed in the stairway alone. When Dean arrived he saw his father just sitting there looking at his body.

" Come on Dad... you gotta help me. I gotta better. I gotta get back in there." Dean said as his father just stared at his body. He was quiet for a minute then started to feel some anger. " You haven't called a soul for help. You haven't even tried. Aren't you going to do _anything_?" He sighed. "Aren't you even going to say anything!" He started to walk around so he was face to face with his father. " I have done everything you have ever asked me. Everything! I have given everything I have ever had..." he paused. "And your just going to sit there and watch me die?" John swallowed as he looked down from his dying son. "What the hell kind of father are you?!" Dean yelled.

John said nothing. He sighed and rolled back to his room. Dean watched and went to punch a wall but his hand went right through it. "What do you mean you don't know?" Clara's voice came from outside the room. He walked to the door and found her on the phone. " Bobby there has to be something..." She said. " Faith healer? Hudo? Voodoo? I don't care anything?" She asked.

"Well thank God you are trying." Dean smiled.

" Bobby I can't just sit here and watch him die!" She yelled into the phone and Dean took a step back. So was so angry. She was hurting and he couldn't help. It was his fault she felt that way. If only he would have just called her and apologized she wouldn't feel so guilty. " Yeah... I know..." She said. " Alright. Just call me if you find anything." She said and hung up. Clara sighed and walked back into the room and sat down.

"Well at least you haven't given up hope." Dean thanked her and any God out there for her.


	55. Chapter 55

"Sammy listen to me! There is something in the hospital. So you gotta get me back in my body and we gotta hunt it!" Dean yelled at Sam as he walked into his father's room with a bag and an enraged look. "Sam!"

"Your quiet." John said to his youngest as he looked out the window with his back facing him. Dean and Sam turned at the same time.

Sam walked over and threw the bag down over John's legs. " You think I wouldn't find out?"

"What are you talking about?" John asked in a tired tone.

" That stuff from Bobby. You don't use it to ward off a demon you use it to summon one! You're planning to bring the demon here and having some stupid macho showdown!" Sam yelled throwing his hands in the air.

" I have a plan Sam." John sighed.

" That's exactly my point! DEAN IS DYING AND YOU HAVE A PLAN!" Sam said as he couldn't control his anger anymore. " YOU CARE MORE ABOUT KILLING THIS DEMON THEN YOUR OWN SON!"

" No.. no... Guys don't do this!" Dean

" Don't tell me how I feel!" John yelled back at Sam. "I am doing this for Dean!"

"HOW?!" Sam didn't believe his father. "How is revenge going to help him!?" He took a second. "YOUR NOT THINKING OF ANYONE BUT YOURSELF! IT'S THE SAME SELFISH OBSESSION!" Sam shook his head.

" Come on guys stop!" Dean tried so hard.

" You know that's funny! It's your obsession to! This demon killed your mother! Killed your girl friend! And it tried to kill Clara! You begged me to be part of this!" John yelled and already hated himself for telling Sam the part about Clara! Sam looked at him in confusion. " You begged me to be apart of this hunt! Now if you killed that damn thing when you had the chance none of this would have happened!" John tried to cover up what he said.

" Wait... what about Clara?" Dean heard it. " Dad! What about Clara?"

" It was possessing you dad! I would have killed you too!"

" Yeah and your brother would be awake right now!"

"SHUT UP THE BOTH OF YOU!" Dean yelled.

"GO to hell." Sam spat at his father and Dean rolled his eyes and dropped his arms.

" You know what? I should have never taken you along in the first place! I knew it was a mistake! I knew..."

" I SAID SHUT UP!" Dean yelled with all the anger in him and smacked the glass of water next to him off the counter. Only this time it went flying and it smashed on the ground. John and Sam looked to the broken glass in confusion. " Dude! I full on Swazye'd that mother." Dean smiled a bit. It was quiet then he could hear something. It sounded like humming. It was Clara. He could hear her humming Hey Jude. He smiled a bit but then he felt weird like he was fading or disappearing. "What is it..."

Nurses and doctors ran past the doors. "Something's going on out there." John gestured for Sam to go find out.

* * *

**OMG! Okay so this is hard to write going back and forth... but hey I gotta make sure I keep it interesting :) anyways...I gave away a bit of a spoiler! The demon went after Clara! But I haven't covered it yet so don't worry if it seems random because I am getting to that! Just needed to throw some shit in the fan! ahah anyways maybe you could share why you think Azazel went after Clara!? Anyways please review I got SOOOOO much more for all of you! I love you my wonderful readers! xo**


	56. Chapter 56

When I got back to Dean's room I sat next to him thinking about what Spencer said. I couldn't help but think about that 10 or 20% chance of Dean actually waking up. I know it was stupid and wrong but I kept thinking _what if he doesn't wake up?_ I know! I'm awful but... NO! I can't lose hope! So far Dean only has me and Sam believing in him. John didn't seem to worried. I sighed as I watched over him and I tried talking to him. I have no idea why I talked to him... he couldn't hear me but might as well try.

"Remind me to ask what the hell happened." I started. "You know a few hours ago I thought I would get to go home and try to sleep. But then this skinny cop comes in and just drops this bomb on me. Next thing I knew I'm sitting next to my comatose best friend and I can't do anything." I laughed a bit. " Sam was more worried about the Impala then telling me how a transport ran it off the road." I shrugged. " I figure you went after that damn demon and got yourself in more trouble then you could handle." I paused. " Oh but don't worry your Baby will be fine. It's pretty badly bent but you can just beat it back into shape." I nodded. " Once you wake up of corse." I smiled. " I'm serious Dean." I reached for his hand. " of all the stupid stuff you and Sam do... you can't let this be the end. Plus your to young to die." I smiled. " So you just work on waking up and everything will be fine." I smiled and was quiet for a minute.

Then I could hear it. The shouts of a father and son. Sam and John. I wanted to go over there and scream at them but I just listened. John claimed he had a plan and Sam told him to go to hell. Harsh but I was on Sam's side. John hasn't done anything to help Dean. He promised Sam earlier that he would look for help but he hasn't even picked up a phone or asked anyone. I couldn't hear the entire shouting match but soon I got tired of the yelling so I placed my head next to Dean's hand and closed my eyes and started to hum. Hey Jude came to my mouth instantly and I tried to drown out the anger and the pain.

It was peaceful for about thirty seconds. Then the heart rate monitor made me jump. It spiked then started to slow down. Then slowly stopped. My heart was racing I jumped. " Dean!" I yelled. " Someone! Help!" I called out. Then Dean flat lined. I panicked. " Please someone!" I called out and with that three nurses and two doctors rushed in. "Help him." My tears came back.

" ma'am I need you to take a step back!" A nurse demanded.

" No just help him! He can't die." I begged her.

" We need space. Someone just get her back!" A doctor shouted.

Then a male nurse grabbed me by the shoulders and started to pull me away. "Let go of me! Don't touch me! You should be helping Dean!" I cried thrashing against the hold. Just as I pushed him away the doctors pulled out a crash cart ad rubbed the defibrillator together. "Dean!" I called out one more time when the male nurse grabbed my arm again.

" Clear!" The doctor called out. He shocked Dean once.

" NO..." I heard the whisper of Sam from behind me. I turned to find him with tears on his cheeks hanging on the door. I rushed to his side and he grabbed me and held on. I held on to and felt him shaking a bit.

" Still no pulse." A nurse called.

" Again! Clear!"

" Come on... Dean... please..." I begged as I felt a tear fall again.


	57. Chapter 57

Dean stood behind Sam. He could hear Sam's plea then he focused on Clara. She was fighting a male nurse who was pushing her out. She begged them to help him and then the pain in her face when she looked back at Sam. She rushed to his side and he took ahold and she clutched to him. He just watched as he flat lined and thought about dying for real and not coming back.

"Come on Dean...Please..." Clara begged. He looked at her and saw the tear fall. She didn't wipe it away and he smiled a bit. Then he felt a rush of air. He looked back to his body.

There it was! The thing that was killing people! He balled his fists and stood between Clara, Sam and the ghostly apparition. " You get the hell away from me!" He said with pure force. He rushed forward trying to talk to the thing. "Stay back!" He yelled as the doctors continued to jolt him with electricity. Every time he could feel a bit of a sting but he was more worried about the thing floating over his body.

"No change! Started CPR." The doctor ordered and started compressing on Dean's chest. he could feel that to.

" Come on..." Clara whispered out as she squeezed Sam.

" I SAID GET BACK!" Dean yelled.

* * *

Sam and Clara were holding on to each other when they heard a voice. " GET BACK!" were the words echoed through the room and in their ears. They jumped a bit. She looked up at him and he looked around then down at her.

" Did you..?" He asked. She nodded.

"What the hell was that?" She asked then a gust of wind hit her unexpectedly.

* * *

" I said GET BACK!" Dean yelled one last time as he reached out and tugged on the thing floating above his body. It looked his way and threw him back. Dean crashed into the wall and he felt it. Even the breeze as the thing flew out of the room right past Sam and Clara. He instinctually went after it. he chased it to the end of the hall and lost it. He rushed back to his body where he could hear the steady heart rate. He saw the scared look on Sam's face and the smile on Clara's. She stepped in. "Don't worry Sammy. I'm not going anywhere. I'm getting that thing before it gets me." he smiled. " It's some kind of spirit. But I can grab it. And if I can grab it I can kill it." Dean smiled.

Sam turned his head and looked in his direction. But saw nothing. He joined Clara in the room. Clara looked up to him with the same confused and speechless look. " So... um..." Clara started but waited till the doctors left. She reached and grabbed Dean's hand and smiled at the sound of a normal rhythm. She heard Sam sigh. " SO what the hell!?" She asked and he looked up.

" I know..." he said.

* * *

Dean walked quickly down the hall looking for that spirit. Then he heard a women's voice. " Can't you see me?" She yelled.

He sighed. " Now what?" He followed the voice.

He found a young women in the same hospital clothes calling out. "Somebody talk to me! Say something! Please!" She cried

" Can you see me?" he asked from the bottom of the stairs.

She turned. " Yeah!" She sighed.

He jogged up the stairs to join her. " Hi... just um.. calm down. What's your name?" he asked trying to keep her calm.

" Tessa." She huffed out.

" Okay good, Tessa I'm Dean." He smirked a bit.

" What's happening to me? Am I... am I dead?" She asked.

He sighed. " that's sorta depends." He shrugged.

They traveled to find Tessa's room. She explained what she was doing here and he asked her if she believed in outer body experiences. She thought he was crazy but as he talked she listened. " We are spirits... of people close to death." he sighed.

" Wait... so we are going to die?" She asked in a calm tone but stepped back.

" No." He answered her right away. "Not if we hold on." he nodded to her. " Our bodies can get better and we get snap back in there and wake up." Dean said. Tessa nodded as she turned back to her body to watch her mother stroke her arm. Dean stayed by the door while she walked in and tried to talk to her mother.

* * *

"What do you mean you felt something..." John asked after Sam had told him about what happened.

" IT felt like... Dean." Sam smiled a bit. " Like he was there just out of eyes shot..." He sighed. " I don't know if it's my psychic thing ro what.. but Clara heard and felt it too." he said.

" Well anything is possible." John said.

"Well there is one way to find out if his spirit is around." Sam shrugged as he headed for the door. "I'll be back." he said.

" Wait Sam. I promise I wont hunt this demon... not until we know Dean's okay." John smiled. Sam nodded and left.


	58. Chapter 58

I walked into John's room just after Sam had left. I heard what he said and didn't believe it. " You are so full of crap and lies." I said stepping into the room.

John looked up and saw the tears in my eyes. " Clara..."

" No just listen... for once just listen okay." I said rushing in and stood next to him. " You send Sam out to get ingredients for a demon summoning ritual while your son lays in the next room dying, you plan on getting the demon who killed Jess and Mary here and what? Talking to it?" I asked. " You think it will listen?"

" I have a plan..."

" A plan? Really? Well let's hear this plan because I really need to hear what is more important than your sons right now." I demanded.

" I have never see you this... angry before." he stated. "You really need sleep."

" John I swear if you tell me I need sleep on more time I'll..." I started to get angry but then I sighed. I walked over to his bed and sat on it next to him. "John he is really dying. You aren't dreaming and no amount of planning will stop it." I said as a tear rolled down. " Believe me I wish I was dreaming but..." I paused. " Come on you are one of the most famous hunters around... you know everything! You must know a way to help him."

"What makes you think I'm not?" he asked placing a hand on mine as the sit on my knees.

" You haven't called a soul for help." I answered. " I called Bobby and he has nothing... what are we supposed to do?" I asked.

John tilted his head at me. " You know for a hunter you are really afraid." he pointed out. " I completely understand that you and the boys have grown close but this is our fight. You don't need to be a part of it. You don't need to put yourself in harm's way." John said. "Why are you so..."

" Because I love him John." I blurted out. I looked away and at the ground. I didn't mean to say that especially not to John but it just came out. I couldn't stop it. " No.. I mean.." I started to stutter. John started to laugh a bit. "Why are you laughing?" I asked.

" You Clara Walsh are in love with my son Dean? Are you sure about that?" John asked. I squinted a bit not understanding what he meant. " That is probably the best news I have heard in a long time." he smiled at me.

"Why?"

" Because now I know someone will look out for him." John said squeezing my hand.

"Now? John I have always looked out for those two... maybe I don't do the best job but..."

" Oh don't you even!" He laughed at me. " None of this is your fault." he said. " So you cut the guilt and just focus on faith." John smiled.

"The last time we spoke he hung up on me and I was so angry I hoped a Vamp would hit him with their car..." I sighed.

John laughed again. " When he hears that he will laugh. Trust me." John smiled. He pushed himself up and sat up a bit. " You're a good person Clara. Don't let anyone or anything tell you different. Alright?" He asked. I nodded and he leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "Now why don't you go make sure my son's heart is still beating." John said.

* * *

**So you have to understand that was hard to Clara! She admitted she is in love with Dean and only John knows... how do you think Sam will react if John's tells him. Or Dean!? Woow so much to write! review please! :) xo**


	59. Chapter 59

"So what happened?" Tessa asked Dean ask they stood in the door of his room.

" Transport." Dean said as he stood his arms crossed.

" You were alone?" Tessa asked.

" No dad and brother were with me. They'll be fine." He said.

" You're a bright side guy aren't you." She smiled.

" You know I'm impressed. Your handling this very well..." He turned to her.

" Well I was freaked but now.. I don't know I guess I'm dealing." She smiled as she looked at Dean's body. " I always'd believe that what ever happens it's for a reason... like fate." She smiled.

He was quiet for a second. " That's crap." he said. "You always have a choice. You can roll over and die or you can fight." Dean said.

" Fight? Fight what? Destiny or your own injuries?" She asked. " Don't get me wrong I don't want to die but... if it's my time..."

" Don't you have anything to keep you fighting? Something or someone who you know needs you and that's why you fight? or you going to roll over and die?" Dean asked.

Tessa noticed Dean's tone changed. Then she saw a pretty light-haired women come out of the next room and when Dean saw her he smiled a bit. Tessa watched as the women walked into Dean's room. She sat on his bed and reached into her purse and pulled out an old-looking book. "Who's that?" Tessa asked.

" Clara." Dean answered as he walked in to see the book she was holding.

"Girlfriend?" Tessa asked.

" Well maybe _my_ dad can help you." Clara smiled as she opened the book and started to look through it. Dean smiled when she pulled out David's journal.

"No." he sighed.

" Wife?" She asked.

Dean laughed. " No."

" Well then what?" Tessa asked.

" Just someone who hasn't given up yet." He said.

" So is that who you are fighting for?" Tessa asked. Dean looked up at her in confusion. " Why you are holding on? For her?"

"Not just her." He said looking back to Clara as she flipped through pages. "but yeah... I'm fighting for her." He said to himself.

Dean watched as Clara flipped through each page. " Me and Sammy heard something so I know your around." She sighed. "Your not dead, so I am thinking more like outer body experience..."

"Wow..." Tessa smiled. " She is... well she knows."

" Yeah she always does." Dean smiled.

"Can't you just jump back in?" She asked. " I mean sure I bet it harder than it looks but..."

"Excuse me?" a doctor knocked on the door when she was in the middle of her sentence.

"Now what do you want?" Dean sighed.

"I wanted to talk to you about your friend's well-being." The doctor said.

"Well being?" Clara questioned him not even standing up. "Don't know if you noticed he is in a coma..." She smirked a bit.

"That is my point." He paused. " I know you are trying to keep faith but you have to understand he is in more pain then he should be."

"Pain? I feel nothing." Dean stated.

"His condition is getting worse and there isn't much we can do." He said and Clara just sat there listening. " I would like to talk to you and his brother about donating the organs that are working to someone..."

" WOOH!" She waved her arms to stop the doctor. " Dean isn't dead."

" I'm still very much here! Screw you doc!" Dean yelled.

" I know you like to think that.."

"No." She said. " I don't care what you tell me."

" But you have to think about the welfare of him and others."

Clara's eyes were burning with anger and a few tears. She turned to purse and stood with something in her hands. " You see this." She said flipping open the leather fold. Dean smiled when he saw the real FBI badge she held in front of the doctor's face. "You ask Sam or me one more time about donating Dean's organs I'll have you arrested for malpractice and harassment of a grieving family." She said standing in front of him. His mouth dropped a bit. "Dean is going to wake up and he will be fine. So back off doc." She said closing her badge and walking back over to Dean and sitting next to him.

She heard the doctor leave. "Well that was intense." Tessa laughed.

"That was awesome!" Dean smiled.

"Dick." Clara whispered to herself and continued flipping through her father journal.


	60. Chapter 60

I sat looking through my father's journal and couldn't find anything on how to get a spirit back into a body. Then Sam came in and had a plan. "Hey." He said walking over to Dean's side and smiled. " So we think your still around and if you're... Don't make fun of me for this." he said as he pulled something out of a brown paper bag. " But there is one way we can talk." He smiled. I watched him pull out a Ouija board and I smiled.

" Really?" I asked. "Sam what are we twelve?" I asked.

"Shut up Okay. It's all got." Sam sighed as he sat on the floor and looked around the room as he placed the board down. "Dean? Are you here?" Sam asked.

* * *

Dean watched as his brother called out for him as he sat in front of the game. He shook his head. "Man I fell like I'm at a sleep over." He said and he sat placing his hand on the piece. "This isn't going to work." He said.

"Dean?" Sam said one more time and he looked over at Clara who was still going through her dad's journal. Dean pushed the pice and it actually move! He smiled when his brothers face lit up. " Who's twelve now Clara." He said.

"What?" She stood walking over quickly. She looked down and fell to the ground when she saw the board piece had moved over YES.

" It's good to hear from you. It hasn't been the same with out you." Sam smiled.

"Damn straight." Dean laughed as he looked at Sam's smile and Clara's shocked face.

Dean continued to move the pice. "H?" Sam asked. Clara and Sam watched as the piece moved from H to U, to N, and then stopped on T. "Hunt?" Sam asked looking at Clara. "Are you hunting something?" Sam asked. Then the piece moved to YES. "What is it? Can you kill it?"

"One question at a time dude." Dean said as he pushed the piece over letters. R,E,A,P. "It's taking them when their time is just up."

" A reaper?" Clara and Sam said in shock at the same time. Sam looked up to Clara who had moved close to him and was holding his shoulder. "Dean... is it after you?" Sam asked.

YES. Dean moved the block and watched as their eyes hung a bit. "If it's here naturally..." Clara started. "There's no way to stop it..." She said looking around then back at Sam who started to search the room.

" Yeah you can't kill death..." Dean started

" Dean you..." Sam sighed as he stood quickly.

" I'm screwed." Dean finished.

"No..." Sam headed for the door.

"Sam where are you going?" Clara called out.

" Dad will know what to do." Sam left the room.

* * *

**OK! Help me! I want Dean and Clara to talk a bit through the board but I'm not sure how to make her sure it's Dean. She didn't believe the board would work and she has to make sure it's Dean before she can smile. So if you can give me anything... because I am stuck and I can't go on... please any thoughts THANKS xo**


	61. Chapter 61

Clara sat alone on the floor looking the door then when she heard the sliding of the piece she looked back. HI. "How do I know it's Dean talking not some random spirit looking for help?" She asked as she hesitated putting her hands on the piece.

"Oh come on!" Dean laughed. He slowly moved the piece TRY ME. Then he smirked at her as she looked down and thought hard.

" Have you been here the whole time?" She asked.

"Come on Clara, something harder then that girl." He laughed as he moved over to YES.

He noticed her take a deep breath. "Fine if you're Dean... back in North Dakota, that little creek me you and Sam found. There is a tree beside an abandoned house... what's carved into that tree." She asked. She waited. She closed her eyes and when she felt it move they popped open. DW. SW. CW. Her smiled grew instantly.

"There's that smile." he said smiling to himself.

She let out a sigh. "Oh thank God your alright... Well kinda." She giggled a bit.

He watched as she closed her eyes in relief. Then it was like the bags under her eyes grew as well. Her eyes opened when he started to move. YOU. NEED. SLEEP.

She smirked a bit. " I know." She sighed. " Once you wake up I can sleep." She smiled and Dean shook his head. STUBORN. He moved the piece. Then she laughed. He watched as tears came her her eyes. "Please tell me you know how to get back." She pleaded. He didn't answer. Dean sighed. Even though she couldn't see he couldn't lie. But he had to. YES. "You're lying." She came back instanty. He didn'y move from his YES. Then he looked up and saw the long and painful sigh. SORRY. He pushed and she smiled but the tears in her eyes started. Not just one this time all of them. They flowed down quickly. He had never see that happen.

" Oh seriously with the tears." He shook his head. " Don't... Clara stop." He tried to order her. "l'll be fine. Just give me some time." He asked.

Clara stood and backed away from the board. She hung her head but then sped out of the room once she noticed how hard she was crying. Before He could go after her Sam cam back with their father's journal.

"So Dad's not in his room." Sam said sitting next to Dean's body. He didn't even notice Clara run from the room crying.

"Where is he?" Dean asked.

" But I got his journal..." Sam opened it and flipped through until he found the reapers section.

"Thanks for not givin' up on me Sammy." Dean leaned over and noticed something. "Son of a bitch!" He swore and ran from his room. He headed straight for the room he left Tessa in earlier. When he found her the room was empty, and she no longer had hospital clothes.

Her hands were folded in her lap. " Hi Dean." She sighed as he walked in with a adjitaed look on his face.

"You know, you read the most interesting things." He smiled through is teeth. "For Example did you know that reapers can alter human perception." He let out a laugh. " I sure didn't. Basiclly they can make themselves apear however they want." He paused in front of her. " Like a pretty girl. You are much prettier then the last reaper I met." Dean clenched down on his jaw with a shake of the head.

She looked at him with big eyes. " I was wondering when you would figure it out." She shook her head.

" I should have know to... that whole accepting fate crap of yours... far to laid back for a dead girl." He paced. " But you know the mother and the body... still trying to figure that one."

"It's my sandbox. I can make you see whatever I want." She shrugged with a tilt of her head.

"What is this a turn on for you?" He asked her looking at her like she was garbage. "Toying with me?"

"You didn't give me much choice. You saw my true form and you flipped out. Kinda hurts a girls feelings. This is the only way I could get you to talk to me."

"Okay fine. We're talking. What the hell you wanna talk about?" He asked she shaking his head.

Tessa took a step forward. "How death is nothing to fear. It's your time to go Dean." She placed a hand on his cheek and he could feel a weird pulse through him. " Your living on borrowed time already."


	62. Chapter 62

After my talk with Dean's spirit I just couldn't handle it. Had he really heard everything I said? Was he around when I told John how I felt about him? Then the fact that he didn't know how to get back to the land of the living freaked me out more than it should have. So I did what I do best. I ran away. Past the doctors and the dying people and right out the door. The sun was setting and it was getting dark and I couldn't breathe. I waked around to the side and placed my head to the wall as the tears streamed down my face. I couldn't stop them and I'm not sure I wanted to. I hit the wall a few times tearing into my skin.

"Great!" I sighed looking down at my fists now bleeding. I looked up at the sky as it darkened and cried out. " Is this some sort of punishment or not going to church!" I called out to no one. " Sure I may have killed a few evil SOBs but come on! Are you really going to have him killed because you are too lazy to help?" I asked. I never was really a believer in God but I wasn't saying he wasn't real. "Is it too much to ask for one angel?" I asked and of course got no answer so I walked back in with tear-stained cheeks. My eyes were red and I honestly didn't care how bad I looked.

I stopped outside of the room when I heard Sam talking. "You can't leave me here alone with dad, we'll kill each other you know that." Sam let off a laugh. Then he was quiet. "Dean you gotta hold on. You can't go man. Not now." I could hear the pain in Sam's voice and my heart hurt for him. " Come on... Look we need you. Clara needs you.. dad and..." he paused. "We were just starting to be brothers again." He sighed. "Can you hear me? Sam pleaded.

After a few minutes Sam was quiet. I heard him sit and I waited outside just to give Sam some time. I could hear the small sniffs he was trying to hold back some tears. Men and their need to hold back a cry. I took a step into the room but just stood at the door. Sam looked up at me with blood-shot glazed eyes and he smirked at me. " I can come back..." I started.

" Would you.. just..." He said pulling a chair next to him.

"Yeah of course." I smiled as I hurried to his side. I sat next to him and crossed my legs. His hands were balled at his face as he stared at his brother. I reached out and grabbed his hands and rested them on my knees. He clutched hard as his eyes closed a tear fell. "It's going to be okay Sammy." I smiled.

" You always say that." he rolled his eyes a bit.

" And am I ever wrong?" I asked with a proud smile.

Sam looked over at me and smiled. Sam was holding on so hard. He was being the strongest. His faith in Dean never failed nor would it ever. That's when I knew I didn't have to be so worried. Sam would do anything to make it okay.


	63. Chapter 63

" You probably heard this before... but you gotta make an exception. You gotta cut me a break." Dean looked out the window of the dark room then looked back to Tessa.

"Stage three: bargaining." Tessa sighed.

" I'm serious." he walked up to her. " My family is in danger. We are kinda in the middle of this war. and they need me." He smiled a bit trying so hard to convince her to let him go.

" The fights over for you Dean."

"No it isn't!" He was starting to get annoyed.

"Dean...Your not the first solider I've plucked from the field. They all feel the same. They can't leave. Victory hangs in the balance, but they're wrong." She shook her head. " The battle goes on without them."

Dean didn't like the fact she was so calm and his eyes were burning. " My brother... he could die without me."

"Maybe he will... and maybe he won't." Tessa shrugged and Dean wanted to smack her. "Nothing you could do about it... it's an honorable death. A warrior's death." She tried to get Dean to just give in nd go with her to the other side.

" I think I'll pass on the 72 virgins. Thanks." Dean shook his head. " I'm not that into prude chicks anyway." he smiled a bit.

"That's funny. You're very cute." Tessa smiled. " I can see what she sees in you." Tessa started to walk around Dean.

"Who sees what?" Now he was confused.

"Clara. I know what she sees in you. Your charming, you have the looks and I'm sure with one word she would throw herself at you but she hasn't." She said still circling him.

"What are you talking about?" He was confused. "Your just trying to confuse me so I'll go... but I don't care what you say. I die then my family dies. So I'm not going with you." Dean shook his head.

" Fine. Like you said you have a choice... but think about this. You'll stay here or get attached to Sam or Clara. You'll be forever disembodied and over the decades it will probably drive you mad and you'll get violent."

"What?"

"Dean..." She smiled. "How do you think angry spirits are born?" She asked. " She'll be able to feel you all the time, she will know you are around her, everywhere she goes she will be reminded of the man she loves, the man she watched die and had to bury." Tessa explained. " And that weights on a person...do you really want to be the reason Clara or Sam is unhappy?" She asked. "Your about to become one... because you can't move on and you can't let go. You'll become what you hunt." She was quiet after that. Dean didn't know what to make of what Tessa just said.

" Why are you using them against me?" He asked sitting on the edge of the neatly made bed.

" I'm not using them to play with you..." She said. " Clara and Sam have always been your weak spot. So they become part of it." She sighed sitting next to him. " Sam is your brother and will spend the rest of his life fighting to find away to bring you back...but Clara..."She paused.

"What about her?"

" As reapers we sometimes get a glimpse of the future. What life will be like without the ones we are trying to reap... not often but this time I did." She sighed. " I didn't see much but if you stay and get attached to that poor girl you will drive her to the top of a seven story building and she'll jump." She sighed.

"What?" Dean asked with anger and pain.

"Sometimes we only see what we wanna see. Clara has been there for you and Sam through good and bad and you think of her like family... as does she, but there is more to her then she shows."

"Your just using this to get me..."

" Dean you don't understand." She shook her head. " You mean more to Clara than anyone else in the world." She smiled a bit. " Can't you see the way she stays by your bed side? Talking to you and making sure you know she is there. The way she reached for your hand but hesitated. She paused because she was afraid it would be cold Dean." Tessa said. " Losing you is one thing but knowing your spirit is still around and she can't touch you would break her already broken heart." She looked down and took a second. " I have been around and I know you feel the same but you have to understand she can move on if you do." Tessa stopped talking after that.

Dean didn't know how to feel. If he was right Tessa just told him Clara was in love with him and that if he didn't go with her Clara would die. But he also had this feeling deep down that Tessa could be lying. So he didn't say anything. He felt her hand on the back of his neck as she waited for him to take in everything she just said.

"Alright. Moment of truth. No changing your mind later. " Tessa pulled away and looked at Dean. He looked at her and waited. He looked at Tessa, but all he could think about was his family. Then the lights started to flicker and he stood.

"What are you doing that for?" he asked.

"I'm not doing it..." They heard whispering.

Black smoke came from the vent. "What the hell?"

" You can't do this!" Tessa yelled at the smoke. Dean watched as it formed around her and she froze. "get away!" Then she left out a long scream as the smoke went into her mouth.

"What's happening?" He asked in a panic.

Then her scream stopped and she turned and her eyes were yellow. "Today's your lucky day kid." She smiled as her hand smacked him and stuck to his forehead and he felt a wave of heat and pain shoot through him. Next thing Dean knew he was choking on a tube.


	64. Chapter 64

" I just need to make a call. I'll be right back alright?" I asked. I could hear that heart rate monitor slowing down and I thought Sam needed to be alone. So I stood, grabbed my phone and my dad's journal and walked out. Sam didn't even realize it.

I walked down the hall into an empty staircase and again tried to flip through the pages trying to find something I missed. I placed the book down after a few minutes and hung my head between my arms where I sat. I couldn't understand myself right now. I wanted to be there for Sam but it was hard when he was acting so jumpy. Then I got this feeling like something was going on. Sam had gone to check on John and he was gone. I never went to look for him so I walked to his room not even noticing the few nurses rush into the room next to John's. I was focused on one thing.

"Were the hell did you run off too?" I asked myself as I noticed John's bed a mess. My phone started to ring and the ID said BAU. I was about to answer it when I heard a strange silence. No beeping from next door and no cries, and no one calling for help. I didn't know why so I pressed ignore on my phone and headed to the door when I saw three nurses walk out of Dean's room and the doctor was looking at his chart just outside.

Then I heard someone running toward me. I looked behind me and when I looked back Sam was standing in front of me with a smile and he was out of breath. "You gotta see this." Sam smiled.

He grabbed my hand and started dragging me. By this time I had been up for more than 38 hours and my eyes were half-open. "Come on Sam... will you slow down." I asked.

Sam rushed into Dean's room first and dragged me in quickly. Then my eyes popped open. My heart melted back together and a smile spread so far across my face I couldn't feel my cheeks. "Oh my God your awake." i said and Dean's head looked up and looked my way and his small smile grew.

"What you expect?" he laughed.

I rushed forward to his side and smiled. I grabbed his face tightly in my hands and kissed him on the forehead. " I am soo freaking thrilled you are alright." I laughed. Surprisingly Dean's hands held onto one of mine after I pulled back. He kept his grip and I didn't question it.

" Alright isn't the word _Agent_." The doctor spoke from behind me. I looked back to get an evil look as he walked in. " I can't explain it. The edema had vanished, the internal contusions are healed, and your vitals are good." The doctor stood in front of Dean. " You have some kind of angel watching over you." I smiled and looked down when the doctor finished his sentence.

" Thanks doc." Dean crocked out in a low voice.

The doctor started to walk out of the room. "Wait.." I slipped away from Dean's grip to meet the doctor at the door.

" Yes Agent." He cocked an eyebrow.

" Look about earlier... I do apologize for talking down to you and threading to arrest you." I said quietly so the boys wouldn't hear. But I know they did. "I..."

He put his hand in front of me to stop me. " It's fine. I understand." he said. I stuck out my hand to shake his and he smiled and firmly shook my hand. Then he walked away.

I rejoined the boys and when I did Dean looked up. "What was with he look?" He asked.

" Well I may or may not have threatened to arrest him..." I smiled and looked away.

"And don't forget you told him to shove his good intentions up his ass." Sam filled in with a laugh.

"Oh yeah." I remembered with a laugh.

"What?!" Dean sounded shocked.

"In my defense he wanted to harvest your organs!" I said with a laugh.

"Well thank you for saving my organs." Dean smiled. Then he turned to Sam. " You said a reaper was after me?"

"Yeah.. wait you don't remember?" Sam asked.

"No.. there is just this pit in my stomach... I think something is wrong." Dean sighed as he looked to his brother.

Then there was a knock on the door. We all turned to see John smiling at the door. " How you feeling?" he asked.

" Fine I guess." Dean shrugged. I felt his hand rest on mine again but I didn't look at him my attention was on John. He looked like he had something to say. "I'm alive."

"That's what matters." John said leaning on the door.

"Where were you last night?" Sam asked.

" Sam.." I whispered shooting him a look. Out of all the things to talk about right now. Sam was trying to make sense out of his dad's actions but the didn't need to talk about it right now. Dean didn't need the stress.

" I had some things to take care of." John answered as he tried to walk in.

"Well that's specific." Sam's face was straight. I sighed.

"Come on Sam..." Dean started. I could feel the grip of his hand on mind get stronger as Sam got angrier.

"Did you go after the demon?" Sam asked.

" Hey Clara." John got my attention while I was staring at Sam not believing he was picking a fight.

" Yeah?" I asked looking over at him with a soft smile.

He smiled back. " Would you give me and my boys a minute?" he asked kindly.

" Yeah of course." I was happy to leave the room full of tension but sorry to leave Dean in the middle. I smiled back down at Dean as he let go of my hand and I headed for the door. I looked back hoping Sam would lighten up but him and his father just stared at each other. Dean watched me leave and when I did Sam asked his question again.

"Did you?" I shook my head as I walked down the hall. I wanted to call Bobby to let him know Dean was going to be alright. For once everything was looking up.

* * *

**Well that is it for the night! Got a long weekend coming up so don't be to mad if I can't get you more! ahaha well some more crazy shit it about to happen... I just wanted to point out that the reason I didn't use the kiss they shared when Clara and Dean were kids was because I have a plan for that later on... plus one more question for y'all... if I keep going making twists and turns in the story line would you keep reading until I get to season 7 and 8? I know you all love my story and thanks so much but I just wonder if you would get bored because you know what is going to happen... but of course I will make sure the criminal Minds stuff is mixed :) anyways let me know what you think about that and what you think about Clara being part of the hunt for Azazel. Thanks xo**


	65. Chapter 65

"Did you go after the demon?" Sam asked again. Dean sighed as he looked down.

" No."

" Why don't I believe you?" Sam started to yell.

John took a second and smiled at his sons. " Can we not fight. Just for once. Half the time I don't know what we are fighting about. We are just butting heads." John smiled. Sam was confused. " Look Sammy, I have made some mistakes. But I have always done the best I could." He paused looking at his youngest son with pride. " I just don't want to fight anymore okay?"

Sam lifted his head a bit. That's not how his father acted on a good day. " Dad are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah I'm just a little tired." he smiled. " Nothing compared to that women but.. ah..." He smiled looking to Dean and then back to Sam. " hey would you mind getting me a cup of caffeine?" He asked. "And make sure Clara is still standing." He laughed a bit.

"Yeah sure." Sam said looking at his brother who just shrugged. Sam did as he was asked and left the room.

It was quiet as Sam left and Dean noticed the way his father's mood had changed and the way he was acting. "What is it?" Dean asked.

" You know when you were a kid. I'd come home from a hunt and after what I'd seen I'd be wrecked" John smiled. " And you would come up to me and put your hand on my shoulder, look me in the eye and..." he paused as he took a second to remember his younger version of Dean. " You would say, It's okay dad." John looked down. "Dean I'm sorry." Dean could see the gaze over his father's eyes.

"Why?" Dean asked.

" You shouldn't have had to say that to me... I should have said that to you." He said hanging his head a bit. " You know I put too much on your shoulders, I made you grow up to fast." he smiled a bit as he looked out the door then back at Dean. " It only took one pissed of FBI agent and transport to make me realize that." He said. Dean looked up at his dad and wondered why Clara had made him realize it. " You took care of Sammy and you took care of me. You did that." He smiled. "And not once did you complain. Dean looked down and shrugged a bit. " I just want you to know that I am so proud of you." John smiled.

" This really you talking?" Dean couldn't believe it.

"Yeah it's really me." He sniffed a bit as he walked closer to his son. " I want you to watch out for Sammy okay?" He said placing a hand on Dean's shoulder.

"Yeah Dad. You know I will." Dean smirked a bit getting worried about what was going on.

"And Clara too. She needs you around." John could feel the tear starting to fall.

"Yeah of course but... Dad your scaring me..."

"Don't be scared Dean." John smiled and leaned in and whispered to his son something that would make Dean change the way he thought about Sam, Clara and the demon.

John took one last looked at his sons before he left the room. Dean was still processing what he was just told that he only noticed his father when he walked one way then came back. He was passing his door holding Clara's hand and pulling her to his room. Clara looked to Dean with a questioning look. Dean looked at her then back into space. How was he supposed to deal with this?

* * *

**Okay! I just want to clear something up! First I freaking love all your review both good and bad! :) but I'm sorry if it is confusing that I switch POVs... I kinda have to. I'll do my best to watch out for my spelling and what not but I am prob the worst for that! Okay I got a lot for y'all tonight so hold on! :) review and tell me what ya think! xo**


	66. Chapter 66

John ran into me in the hall and grabbed my hand and pulled me toward his room. When I passed Dean's I could see he was thinking very hard and I was very confused. John stood just outside of Dean's room. He held both my hands and was looking very hard at them. He took a breath and sighed deeply. Then I saw the tear that had been on his face.

"John... are you alright?" I asked gripping his hands tightly.

He didn't answer right away. He looked down, around, and then up at me. "You know for the first time in a while I am." He smiled a bit. " Sam is safe, Dean is awake and better, and you..." He paused. " and they have you." His smile got a bit bigger.

"John what's going on?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said.

" Stop lying to me." I said dropping my hands from his grip. "I know I'm not your kid and I'm just some FBI agent but I can still help."

He looked up at me funny. "Oh come on you can't seriously think your just some FBI agent?" He asked. I shrugged and he shook his head. "Alright listen to me okay?" He paused. " _YOU_ are the best thing that has ever happened to those boys of mine. _YOU_ are one of the best hunters I have ever had the pleasure of training and working with. _YOU_ are the smartest and the most sensible person I have ever met." He smiled.

I smiled. " John you feelin alright? That really you talkin'?" I asked and he smiled.

"Yeah it's me talking." He grabbed my hand again. " Don't lose sight of what is important like I did." He said as the tears came back to his eyes. "Don't wait to long to make yourself happy and don't ever feel like you are not wanted." He smiled.

"Okay now you are officially scaring me." I said and he sighed. "John what's wrong?"

"For right now Clara nothing is wrong and you can't help later." He said. " So just remember all that stuff I just said. And don't be a stranger." He said looking at me.

" I won't... why would I?" I asked.

" You know those two." He shrugged.

" Yeah I guess your right." I smiled.

Before I could say anything else John pulled me into a tight hug. "Your father would be so proud of you." He whispered and the let me go. "Now get back in there and keep Dean company. I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about."

" Oh God you didn't tell him did you?" I asked in a panic.

"No but I think you should." John said. I gave him a look of nervousness and worry. "Stop looking at me like that. Just go. Everything will be alright." he assured me. I couldn't move. I had this bad feeling. Like he was hiding something and something was very wrong. "Go Clara." He demanded.

I jumped back a bit when his voice got stern. I stood and walked back a bit. He smiled and walked away turning the corner to his room. I shook my head and headed back to Dean's room. When I walked in Dean still had that look on his face. Like he was over thinking something. When I walked in he shook his head and looked to me. I must have had a confused face because he spoke up.

"Clara?" He asked and my attention went to him. " You alright?" He asked as I slowly walked over to his bed side.

"Well that depends." I said looking up. " On one side I think John is on way to many pain meds because he just..." I paused.

"He what?" Dean noticed my paused.

"Is just happy." I lied. I didn't want Dean to worry like I was. He didn't need the extra stress. " and on the other side I am just glad your awake." I smiled taking a seat next to him.

"And why is that?" he asked with a laugh.

" So I can apologize until I lose my voice." I shrugged.

"Apologize?" He was confused. " What the hell for?" he laughed.

"The last time we spoke." I said.

"One, that was not your fault and two that was like a month ago..."

"Yeah but after I hung up I said.."

" I don't care." He smiled. I was going to say more but he just smiled and I felt no need. "So why is it that I just woke up from a coma and look better than you." He laughed.

I smacked his arm. "Oh shut up." I said. " You're the one who has been asleep for like two days."

"You mean to tell me you've literally been here the whole time?" Dean asked.

"Of course." I smiled to him.

"Okay so that is two days... what's the excuse for the other five days?" he asked.

"Five days?" I asked.

" That you haven't slept." he shook his head.

"How could you possibly know that?" I asked shaking my head back at him.

" Clara I maybe a bit beaten up but I ain't blind. Plus I know what it looks like when you are running on fumes." He said. I sighed and smiled. " So whats the excuse?" he asked. I didn't want to answer. "Clara?"

"Um Nightmares I guess." I sighed.

"The hounds? I thought you were going to see someone?"

I laughed at him. " Are you kidding! Who the hell would I go to? I can't just walk into a psychiatrist office and say hi i have vivid nightmares about hell hounds trying to take me and my family to hell oh and not to mention the demons that start talking after I watch myself die for the tenth night in a row." I mocked him with a laugh.

"Why not? Works for other people." He smiled.

"Yeah _normal_ people without a badge. Plus you know damn well they would lock me up in a white room." I shook my head at him. "or inject me with random syrums and tell me the voices aren't real when I know they are."

"Voices?" He asked.

I sighed. " Dean can we not talk about this." I rubbed my face. "I'm not the important one at the moment. In case you haven't noticed you got hit by a transport." I shook my head.

"Oh crap. How's my car?" he asked as he whined waiting for an answer.

"Well she needs some work but there is still hope. She is holding on." I smiled. He would see the real damage in a few days when he was released and could get to work. "God you worry more about the car then yourself." I made fun of him

Dean laughed. "Hey a man's gotta have his car." he smiled. "You remember that time I stole it from my dad when we were like 17." he said and my eyes got big and he just smiled. " Sam and I kidnapped you. You complained the whole time I drove and you were so confused when we pulled over and stopped in the middle of a field." he laughed again. I couldn't believe he was talking about the same story I was earlier. But I was more shocked he remembered that. "God dad was pissed when we got back." then he looked up at me. " He was about to yell at me and you took the blame for it."

"It was a good idea at the time." I said as my eyes started to sting.

He laughed. "I never thought anyone could stand up to our dad like that. And hell you still do." he smiled. "You were my hero." He giggled a bit. I could tell he was tired and wasn't really in his full mind-set. But then I felt a tear fall and when I tried to hide it he saw it and stopped my hand from wiping it away. "Why are you crying?" he asked with all seriousness.

"Dean I..." I paused. I was re-hearing everything John had just said to me. I wanted to tell Dean so bad but was afraid he would reject me. I was scared that he would get mad or stop talking to me. There was so many things I needed to say but couldn't. Then I heard John's voice over and over. I smiled a bit. I took a deep breath as he grabbed my hand to make sure I was alright. " I'm..."

"SOMEBODY! HELP!" Were the words that stopped my thoughts and made me and Dean jump. Our head whipped to the door and when we looked nurses and doctors rushed by. That was Sam's voice.


	67. Chapter 67

Clara and Dean heard the scream of Sam and Clara jumped her feet. She started for the door. " Wait! Your not going anywhere without me." Dean ordered as he pushed back the sheet and tore off the tubs linked to his arm.

"Dean stay here. I'll make sure Sam is alright." She argued.

"No." Dean gave her a determined look as he limped her way. She rushed over to his side and placed one hand on his chest and the other on his back to keep his stable. His arm wrapped around her shoulder and held on as they raced out the door. Once they made it down the hall they both saw Sam being pushed from their father's room. "Sam!" Dean called out and Sam looked their way with big watery eyes.

"What's going on?" Clara asked but didn't get an answer. Sam quickly walked over and helped support Dean as he walked them closer and faster to John's room. That's when they all could hear the flatline.

When the three of them reached the a nurse stopped them. "That's our dad!" Dean yelled at her and she backed off. The three of them watched as the doctor compressed John's chest and tried to get his pulse back. "come on." Dean said as he slowly pulled his arm away from Clara and Sam felt him weigh on him more. Clara didn't even notice. She was trying to understand what was happening. "Come on." Dean repeated.

"Alright everyone. That's it." The doctor sighed. " I'll call it." He looked to his watch.

"No."Sam and Dean said at the same time.

"Time of Death. 10:41 am." The doctor said and when Clara looked to the boys all the color drained from their face as they looked upon their father's dead body. She couldn't reach out to help them because Dean had pushed him and Sam into the room away from her. She stood at the door with more tears in her eyes and looked down.

"Dad?" Sam's voice cracked and that's when Clara's tears fell. She again couldn't stop them and she knew the boys couldn't either. She also knew they needed their time so she walked back down the hall and noticed a bench sitting at the end near the door. She walked over slowly and sat down shaking. John was dead. Another member of her family was gone. She sat half on her hands and half on the edge of the bench. So many thoughts ran through her head and she couldn't sort through them. Then her phone rang. It was the BAU again but this time it was Hotch. She was still crying and she tried to stop when she pressed talk to answer. She took a second hold her breath.

"Hey Hotch..." Her voice already cracked. " Can I call you back?" She asked.

Hotch knew right away. By the tone in her voice and the crack when she started that something had gone wrong. He sighed for her. "Take as much time as you need." He answered.

Clara found the will to smile a bit at her bosses understanding. " Thank you." She said and that was it. She hung up and put the phone next to her. She still sat at the edge of the bench and her head fell into her hand as her tears started to flow.

* * *

Dean and Sam stood in the now empty room. The doctors had pronounced their father dead two hours ago. The sheet was pulled over his body and they just looked at the white sheet covering him. Sam felt more guilt then anything. Dean was mad. How could their father be dead! They had just talked to him. They were just with him! He was fine! We were all going to be okay! Dean's mind screamed. He didn't know how to handle this and he knew he couldn't be broken up about it. Sam needed someone to be strong and it needed to be him. Sam had noticed Dean shifting and he didn't know what to say. Sam had told the doctors to release John's body to them. They were going to bury him right away then they were to head back to Bobby's. Even if Dean wouldn't admit it, but Sam knew they needed time.

Dean wandered back to his room alone. Sam was going to follow him when he finally noticed someone was missing. Dean had pushed her away earlier and she watched John die like they did. Then she was gone. Sam helped Dean back to his room. Dean said nothing when he left. Dean just went to getting a doctor to release him so they could get the hell out of that hospital. Sam wandered around the halls for a while and couldn't find Clara anywhere. He checked every stair case, every empty hall and when he found her he had already walked by her but didn't recognize her.

Her face was white, her eyes were blood-shot and beating red. Her knees were shaking up and down. The rest of her body was stiff. Her head was in her hands and her jeans had tear drop puddles on each side. "Clara." he said softly. She looked up quickly.

"Sam." She said wiping her face quickly. Jumping to her feet and holding her head up. She was hiding her pain for him. "What do you need?" She asked trying to help him. That's when the whole situation started to click. His dad was really dead. And he had no way to bring him back.

Clara watched as his worry went straight to pain. He hung his head and shook it. "My.." he paused. " My dad's dead Clara." She heard his voice crack and he looked up with big puppy eyes.

"I am so sorry." She said in a quiet tone and all the pain was right there in her voice. She opened her arms and Sam took his chance to let all his pain out. He gripped her tightly. Clara felt the grip and wanted to cry more. She couldn't handle this. Not now. She could feel Sam shaking as she sat down and he sat close her to her. His head on her shoulder. She could feel the small puddle of tears forming on her shirt and she was fine with it. " I don't even know what to say." She said quickly as she held him close.

He was quiet for a minute and then sat up. His tears had stopped but his eyes were still red. "Just don't go." he said grabbing my hand.

"Okay." I smiled at him.

" Alright let's get the hell out of here." Dean said as he stood in front of us. He had just walked out of his room with jeans and a t-shirt on. He threw on his leather jacket and looked impatient. His eyes were just as red as Sam's or mine.

"Dean you..." Clara started.

"I'm fine." he said to her. " Let's just go and..." he was going to say bury his father back he stopped when he noticed the red eyes of Sam and Clara. "Let's just go."


	68. Chapter 68

I didn't need to be told twice. Dean wanted to leave so we would. I grabbed Sam's hand as I stood first. We walked out to the parking lot to find a rental car with two medics standing beside it. "Sir the body is in the trunk like you asked." One medic said as he stepped closer handing Dean the keys. "We are sorry for your loss." He said as him and his partner walked away.

"You put Dad's body in the trunk?" Sam asked.

"No. They did. I just paid them to. It is faster that way." Dean said walking over to the car and unlocked the door.

"Oh no!" I yelled at Dean as I let go of Sam's hand. I rushed over and shut the door on Dean as he was about to open it. " There is no way you are driving." I said standing in between him and the shiny car with a body in it.

Dean huffed. "Clara get out of my way." he said looking down at me with anger and annoyance.

"No." I gave him the same look back. "Give me the keys. Now."

"No. Clara if you don't move I'll make you move." He threatened.

I laughed at him. "Oh really?" I asked placing my hands on my hips. " I would like to see you try." I said stepping closer to him. He didn't do anything. I went to place a hand on his shoulder so I could talk some sense into him but he angrily batted it away roughly. I looked up at him with shock.

" I said move." he said looking down at me.

Dean may think he is scaring me to move but the only thing he is doing is making my point. " You don't scare me Dean Winchester." I said shaking my head. I could hear Sam huff as he got in the back seat. " You and Sam were just rammed by a transport. You were in a coma for a few days, you had a reaper in your ass not even three hours ago. and your father just died. You are not driving." I said sticking my hand out. " Now I am so sorry about John but if you want to give him the proper funeral you'll give me the keys." I said raising my eyebrows at him.

Usually when Clara stood up to Dean it made him smile and it turned him on a bit but right now all it did was annoy him and make him more angry. He didn't want to hurt Clara but he was now an inch away from punching her. But she wasn't moving. "Nobody is asking you to..."

" I know nobody is asking!" She said to him as calmly as she could. "Just give me the keys Dean." She said again. "please?" She asked nicely. Dean sighed and threw the keys into her hands. She said nothing else as they both got in and drove.

* * *

That was probably the longest drive the three of them have ever had the unfortunate pleasure of taking. Clara drove quickly. Dean sat in the passenger's seat looking angry and didn't look at anyone. and Sam sat in back quietly. No one said anything. Clara was headed to Bobby's first. When they pulled in Dean didn't understand why. "What are you doing?" He asked when she got out. He stepped out and so did Sam. She walked around the car and handed the keys to him gently.

"Go bury your dad." She said softly. He wasn't expecting the soft tone and the kiss to the cheek she gave him. She walked around him and kissed Sam's cheek as well. She didn't say anything else she just walked up to the house. Knocked and walked in. She looked back as Dean and Sam drove off and closed the door hoping they would come back.

"Clara?" Bobby asked when he noticed her walk into the living room. He stood when he saw how quiet she was and how dazed she was.

"I... I'm gonna go take a shower and get some sleep." She said quietly. He watched as she walked over and hugged him tightly.

"You alright girl?" Bobby asked when she let go of him.

"I will be." She smiled then turned and walked up the stairs. Bobby knew something was really wrong but he also knew she needed her space and time. He heard the shower start. He went back to his work.

The water wasn't making Clara feel any better. She felt sick, tired, confused and she had not idea what to do. So she tried to wash it off. The shower felt nice but it didn't help the pain. So she ditched the jeans and the sweater. She went through the little clothes she had left at Bobby's. She pulled on some shorts and tank top that was a bit to small but she was so tired she could care less. That bed had never felt so good. She crawled in with her eyes already half closed. The light was off and the blinds closed. The door was closed to drown out any noise she or anyone else would make while she slept. She pulled the blankets over her as she pulled her legs closer to her. She lay in a ball with the blankets over her head. She took a deep breath as her eyes closed.

"Just a few hours. That's all I need." She talked to herself. She was praying the nightmares would rest for a bit. Within twenty minutes she was sleeping a dreamless sleep. She could feel her self falling into a deep sleep and somehow she knew she wouldn't wake up. At least she hoped.

* * *

Bobby sat at his desk when he heard the door open again. Clara had gone up stairs three hours ago and he hadn't seen her since. He waited with his hand on his revolver in the drawer. When he saw Sam and Dean turn to corner he stood quickly. "Boys." he said.

They both looked to him and sighed. "I'm going to shower then get some sleep." Dean said.

"You boys okay?" Bobby asked looking the cuts a scrapes.

"Yes." Dean said as he walked up the stairs.

"Um.. our dad he..." Sam tried to explain but he couldn't.

" I'm sorry." Bobby knew. John was a friend and he felt awful but he knew the boys now needed a place to stay for a bit. Especially with Dean's car the mess it was. He needed a place to restore it. "Well you two stay as long as you need." Bobby walked over patting the boy on the back as he went to his own room.

Sam was tired. He heard Dean jump in the shower and decided just to sleep. They had driven for almost ten hours. The sun was already gone when they burned John's bones. He walked up the stairs and when he got to his room he smiled. Sure it was empty but he always did have his own room at Bobby's . He even had clothes stashed away. He ripped off his dirty one and changed into boxer and a black t-shirt. he fell into the bed and fell asleep quickly. He only hoped he could stay asleep.

Dean got out of the shower and put on boxers and a dark blue t-shirt. He didn't bother drying his hair he just walked over to the bed and sat there. That room was the emptiest in the house. Dean never put things in this one because he had always fallen asleep in Clara's room. He still couldn't believe how he treated her earlier. He knew himself well enough to know he would push her away but he prayed she would hold on. He rubbed his eyes and laid back but his eyes couldn't close. His tears were long gone but his eyes still burned. He just stayed still.

* * *

3am came quickly for Clara when she woke up in a panic. Her nightmare was different this time. There was more darkness, more talking and instead of hell hounds... it was a pair of bright yellow eyes.

Clara sat up in bed trying to catch her breath and when she couldn't fall asleep again she got up and walked out of her room. The boy's doors were closed and lights were off. So she was as quiet as she could be when she sneaked down the stairs. She wanted some coffee but Bobby never did keep a stacked house. Although his liquor and beer was always full. She found a bottle of whiskey sitting on the counter with the top open. She walked over to it and smelled the liquid Bobby and the boys drank like water. The smell wasn't great but if anytime was a good time for a drink it was now. She reached for a glass and poured half a glass. She put the lamp on the table on. The house was dark and quiet. She looked down at the brown drink and shook her head.

She took her first sip and didn't mind the taste. She also knew how quickly she could get into trouble if she drank to fast. So she stayed to the sips. Her phone was in her shorts pockets when it made a small ding. It was weird, the shorts were short and the pockets were tiny. The phone should have fallen out. She opened it and when she did she noticed she had two voicemails. She sat in the dim kitchen facing the stairs and she looked around and clicked talk.

"First message." The mailbox said.

_"Hey Clara it's Reid. I was just calling to make sure you were alright. The last time we talked you didn't seem to hopeful so I wanted to check... and well just call if you need anything. I hope your friends are alright."_ Clara smiled when she heard Spencer's voice. It meant a lot to her that he cared. She had only been a part of the team for no more than two months and they were already getting closer. She pulled her legs up to the chair and crossed her legs. She took a drink and sighed as she listened to the next message. "_Clara!" _Garcia's voice yelled. "_I can tell something is wrong. We have all been trying to talk to you and you haven't answered your phone. We are praying you are alright! Girl please call us back. We may be able to help. Come on Clara. Whatever you are dealing with let us help." _Then the phone beeped and the messages were done.

Clara slowly placed her phone on the counter. She sighed and felt tears come her eyes. A few fell as she took another drink. She looked at the almost empty glass and then her phone. She stood slowly and grabbed the whiskey bottle from the counter and poured more into her glass. She knew very well it was not a great idea but she needed something to make her feel better. So when she finished pouring she found Garcia's number in her phone and pressed talk.

* * *

"Technical Analysis Garcia! Speak and be heard mortal!" She proclaimed and her voice brought a smile to Clara's face instantly.

"Just the person I was looking for." Clara smiled as she spoke quietly.

"Oh my Gosh! Clara!" She yelled. "Girl please tell me you are alright!?" She asked in a panic.

Then the smiled faded. "Well I've been better." Clara sighed.

"oh..." Garcia's voice got low. "Talk to me. What happened." She calmed down.

Clara sighed. "That's the thing. I don't know what happened." She said as she face fell into her hands. "One moment Dean is hanging on for dear life, and then he wakes up nothing wrong with him and then John literally drops dead ten minutes after I talk to him."

" Wait... Sam and Dean are the brothers that you grew up with and John is their father right?" Penelope asked.

"Yeah."

"What do you mean drops dead?"

" I mean one minute he was alive and the next he wasn't. And I have no idea what to say or do..." I sighed. "Those two only had their dad and now... now what do they have?" She sighed.

"You honey!" Penelope giggled. "I am terribly sorry about your friend but now you have the chance to make it right. Be there for those two and they'll know they aren't alone." Garcia said no doubt smiling. "You can't change what happened."

"I know. Just wish I could. Thanks Penelope." Clara smiled. " Hey Spencer wouldn't happen to be around?"

"Actually! The whole team minutes Hotch and David are in the conference room right now... you wanna talk?"

"Yeah actually it would be nice to." Clara smiled.

Clara listened as Garcia ran down the hall and up the steps to the conference room. "Guys! It's Clara!" She yelled and they got quiet.

"Hey guys." Clara smiled a bit.

"Clara is everything alright?" She heard JJ speak up.

"Well... No but don't worry I'll figure it out."

"Do you need anything?" Spencer asked.

"No I think I'm good. I just need a few days. I'll be back monday." Clara smiled.

"Clara it's Sunday." Morgan said with a sigh.

"Jesus... Its been a long few days... I guess I lost track" She sighed. "Wait what are you guys doing there if it's Sunday?"

"We just got back from a case and we are headed to the next." Morgan answered.

"Serial killers never take a day off do they?" Clara laughed a bit.

"Clara are you alright?" Spencer asked.

* * *

Dean lay awake in his bed. His mind was racing to quickly for his eyes to close. He sighed as he sat up. That's when he heard Clara's voice. She was talking low but he could still hear her. Maybe she was having a nightmare. He stood quickly and jogged to her room. The door was open and her bed was a mess and empty. Her voice was coming from the kitchen. Dean stood at the top of the stairs looking down to the very dim light coming from the table side. He walked down slowly as he heard her talk a bit.

"long few days... I guess I lost track" Was what Dean heard when he reached the bottom. Then he heard the sound of a glass landing on the table. "Serial Killers never take a day of do they?" She asked a laugh. Dean wanted to know who she was talking about. He slowly and quietly walked closer. He heard her place a glass down again as she sighed. When she started to talk again Dean heard her voice crack.


	69. Chapter 69

I took a drink of my whiskey before I answered Spencer. I wasn't sure how to. First I took a second then I sighed. " You know Spence I don't know." I sighed. "I'm sorry I don't have a better answer for all of you." I sighed rubbing my burning eyes. "I just have to..." I paused. " I have to deal with a few things before I can come back."

"Take your time but to be honest we kinda miss you smarty pants." Morgan laughed a bit.

"Yeah." the others agreed.

I felt my smile come back. " Well believe it or not I miss y'all too." I sighed. I took another drink. "You guys be careful alright." I asked.

"Hey. Who you talking to." JJ joked.

"Right. What was I thinking." I laughed a bit. "Bye."

"Bye Clara." They all sounded sad to say goodbye.

I hung up after and sat in quiet. I rubbed my forehead with another sigh. Seems like these days I was sighing more than anything. I took another drink and tried to stop the tears from falling but I was failing. I sniffed. I didn't even notice Dean walk in until he spoke up and made me jump.

"Who's Spence?" He asked leaning on the wide door frame. I looked up quickly and saw how tired and confused he was. "And when did you start drinking?" he asked as he walked in and took a seat across from me.

"Seemed like a good time to start." I said quietly wiping the tears from my face. He shook his head at me. He took the bottle and the glass from me. He poured more into it and swallowed it all. "Hey. I wasn't finished with that." I smiled a bit and he looked up as he was about to take a drink. He didn't look to be in the joking mood. Understandable.

"Yes you are." He corrected me. I just nodded and looked down to my phone. "So Spence?" he asked again.

"Profiler I work with. He called earlier and I hadn't called him back yet." I said looking up to him.

"Why did he call?" Dean asked finishing off the glass and pouring more into it.

"They were worried." I shrugged.

"They?" Dean asked.

"Yeah my team... I didn't get a chance to explain what was going on. I kinda just flew off." I sighed looking down sitting back in my seat.

"Flew?" He laughed a bit. "You mean to tell me you Clara Walsh got in a plane?"

"Well this time it was a helicopter." I shrugged. "Plus with my job I have no choice to get in a plane."

"But you hate flying?" he asked.

"True." I smiled. "But I couldn't exactly drive the 11 hours to get to you guys." I laughed a bit. "Would have taken to long." Dean looked up and just stared at me. He was quiet. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shaking his head looking away from me.

"People avoid eye contact when they are lying or hiding something." I leaned forward and crossed my arms on the table and looked at him.

"What you profiling me now?" He asked. The way he looked and spoke he seemed offended.

"No I'm just pointing out behavior." I shrugged. "So whats going on in that head of yours Dean?" I asked. It was a shot in a dark. I knew he wouldn't answer me truthfully. He was obviously hurting and all the Winchester boys shut down when they don't know how to handle what is going on. Dean he was quiet so I kept talking hoping to get him to open up just a bit. "You know when I got to the hospital Sam came running down the hall. He had cuts all over his face and he looked like hell. But the only thing he worried about was you." I smiled. "Then when he saw how bad it was for you he squeezed my hand so hard I thought he might have broken it. He held on for dear life because he was scared. Hell I was scared." I said and he looked up at me.

"You got a point?" He asked.

"Yeah. It's okay to be scared." I said and he rolled his eyes at me. "and it's okay to admit it. And it's okay to be hurting." I said as I tried to reach out for his arm.

He huffed and pushed away with his drink in his hands. "Oh stow the touchy feely crap Clara." He just about yelled. " I don't need to talk about my feelings and all that bull." He mocked me.

"I'm not asking you to... but Dean you need to." I said looking up at him as he leaned on the chair. He was annoyed with me, I could tell. But he didn't leave. "No one likes to admit that they were defeated."

"I wasn't defeated! My father died!" Dean finally yelled.

I stood quickly. "Exactly!" I said as he pushed the chair to the ground and it fell over with a crash. "Dean your dad died and you have no idea what you are supposed to do?" I questioned him. " I know you feel like you need to be strong because if John saw the way want to act he would probably tell you to suck it up and be a man!" I yelled back. Dean swigged the whiskey down quickly and slammed the glass down. The able shook when he did. "He would tell you to move on and push forward." I said and he rolled his eyes and walked out of the kitchen. He headed for the door.

"Stop profiling me!" he yelled as he reached the back door and slammed it closed.

I raced for the door and when I got outside Dean had already grabbed the bottle of whiskey that was sitting near the door. He was taking a long drink as he walked toward the wall of crushed cars. I raced after him and suddenly felt how cold it was. "I'm not profiling." I said back to him and he turned my way. "But just talk to me..."

"Oh my god!" He yelled. "Clara stop!" He was getting angry. "I don't know what you want from me?! You want me to yell and scream how pissed I am? You want me to cry over my father dead body? You want me to say that your right and I have no idea what I should do?" He said in one breath. When he was finished he was breathing heavily. "Well tough luck sweetheart that is not happening!" He yelled taking another drink as he continued to walk away.

"Well okay then." I said quietly and he looked back. He noticed I hadn't moved any further.

"What?" he asked.

" I said okay." I said with a shrug. " You want to deal with this on your own fine. I wasn't expecting anything more." I said with a nod.

"Then why bother asking?" He asked.

"Because I thought it was worth a shot." I shrugged. "But what was I thinking. Dean Winchester would rather die than talk." I smiled a bit with sarcasm. "and I know better than anyone you will be the last person to ask for help." I sighed. " that's why I am offering my help. So you don't have to ask." he just started back at me.

"Help?" He laughed at me. "Clara that's a joke. I don't need help." He said taking another drink.

"No?" I asked crossing my arms. He continued to drink. He finished off the whole bottle and I watched him. "So you just drink yourself out of this one like everything else?" I asked as I looked him up and down.

He threw the bottle to the ground and it smashed. Then he started to laugh. "What did you tell your FBI friends?" He asked. " You run off into the night and they call worried about you. So you offer them an explanation. What is it? I would love to hear that lie that you wrapped then in." He laughed at me.

" I didn't lie." I said and he laughed more. " I told them that a transport rammed my family off a road. I told them Sam and John would be fine within a few days but Dean..." I paused. I couldn't even control the tears that built up again. What the hell is wrong with me! Usually I can stop them. "But Dean he was in some serious trouble. I told them how the doctors told me was going to die. They offered their thoughts and apologies. But then you got better." A smile came through the tears. "Everything was going to be just fine!" I yelled and Dean jumped a bit. "Just this once everyone was going to be okay and we could look back on those days and smile but now... I had to tell them that a man I have known for most of my life was dead. And I was the last person to talk to him. They asked me if I was okay and I didn't have an answer for them. I still don't!"

" You'll be fine." Dean rolled his eyes at me. I could tell the alcohol was starting to take over his thoughts but I was now pissed at him, again for no good reason. He was just pushing to far.

"Fine!?" I laughed as more tears fell. "Dean I understand he was your father but you and Sam are not the only people who cared about John."

"I get you cared but he isn't your father." Dean said.

" I know that. But you know what I owed my life to him!" I yelled back at Dean. I started to walked closer to him. Slowly. "He saved my life, I kicked him out of my house, I yelled at him for keeping away from you two, I yelled at him at the hospital for not caring about you, I yelled at him when he was lying to me. All I ever did was yell at him." I sighed out of breath. "And I can never apologize for that. But you know he didn't care. You know the last thing he said to me?" I asked. Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. "He said I was the best thing to happen to his broken little family. He told me to watch out for you and Sam and make sure you guys didn't get into anymore trouble. And he made me promise not to make the same mistakes as he did and not to wait on making myself happy. Then he thanked me." I sighed. That's when I got close enough for Dean to see the tears streaming. "He thanked me Dean! I was awful to him and he thanked me." I sighed. "So don't assume I'll be fine." I clenched down on my teeth and spoke through them. His eyes avoided mine. I shook my head at him and he looked away. I sighed and walked away. I headed back for the house and when I walked in I wiped the tears from my face and raced to my bedroom. I had just made a bad situation worse.

* * *

I sat in my bed for almost an hour. It was quiet in the house and my mind wouldn't stop with the guilt of what I just said to Dean and yelling at him. He lost his dad and I yelled at him. Great friend I was. I pulled my knees to my chin and wrapped my arms around the and sighed. The tears had stopped but I still couldn't sleep.

Then I heard someone trying to quietly walk up the stairs. I didn't move. I knew it was Dean getting back to sleep. I had lit a candle in my room so I didn't need the light. My room smelled of cherry blossoms and it was calming me down a bit. I watched the flame flicker and when I heard the footsteps stop I looked to my door. I didn't expect to see Dean standing at the door with John's journal in his hands.

"Dean... I.." I was about to apologize when he looked up. My heart sank a bit when I saw his eyes. They were wide, tired, and very sad. They were glazed over a bit.

He stood there with the journal open to a page and he looked back down. "January 18th 1965." He said taking a few steps into my room. "David Walsh is dead and his daughter is still denying the existence of everything I have tried to warn her about. Only 16 but scary as all hell." Dean walked closer and sat next to me. His smile grew just a bit at the last thing. "David had told me she was tough but I could never have imagined what I've just saw. I can tell she will be good for us. But she is a force to be reckoned with. Word to the wise and for the future... do not piss Clara Walsh off." Dean finished. He smiled a bit a looked to me. "He knew how you were and he praised you for it." He smiled.

"Dean I didn't mean..."

"No you were right." he said. " I can be uptight when it comes to this kind of stuff but can you blame me?" he asked.

"No. It's how you were raised." I smiled a bit.

"Exactly." he smiled. "Even back then he knew you were good for us." He said with a sigh. He closed the journal down next to him and looked at the ground. "I almost died Clara. and now dad is just gone." He said quietly.

I took the hit by his deep sigh. I moved closer to him and linked my arms with his and pulled him closer. I laid my head on his stiff shoulder and he relaxed at my touch. "I'm sorry." I said. He sighed again and I felt his head lean on mine.

* * *

**Well that is all for tonight! I am sorry about the long wait! But I had fun writing those chapters... sure I cried like a baby when John died but I think Clara is handling it very well for someone who is actually hurting! Anyways lots more planned! Tell me what you would like to see happen between our trio soon :) review Thanks xo**


	70. Chapter 70

That first night was long. After Dean placed his head on mine we didn't speak. Every so often I could hear him sigh and sniff a bit. His grip on my hand would get a bit tighter but no one said anything. I still didn't sleep that night and when the sun came on Dean left and headed outside. I knew he was headed to his car.

That week the boys stayed at Bobby's. They didn't hunt and Dean spent most of his time working on the Impala. We didn't speak much but when I went to sleep at night I didn't wake up alone. Dean was always just laying there. Sam was dealing better than Dean was. I helped Bobby clean up his house because again it was looking like a disaster. Bobby grunted and whined about my cleaning but I just smiled and continued. I had things to do but Sam he was bored. He wanted to get back to the job. he had told me all the time they needed to find out what happened to John and find that demon. I agreed but told Sam to let it happen in good time.

"Finally!" Sam yelled as he busted through the back door. "Clara get in we are heading out." Sam said rushing up stairs and grabbing his and Dean's bags. I was laying on the couch reading when he yelled.

"Where are we going?" I asked closing the book and walking to the end of the stairs.

"Roadhouse." Sam smiled when he came back with bags in hand and headed back out the door.

"Why?" I followed him.

"Ellen called Dad a while back and thought we should check it out. And Ash said to bring you along." Sam smiled as he threw the bags into an old van.

"Still don't see why we have to go." Dean grunted as he walked out the door. I didn't even know he was in the house.

"Can't spend every waking minute under that car." I added as I walked next to him.

The drive was quiet. Dean drove quickly and didn't say anything. Sam and I made small talk. I could tell he was happy to get back on the road. When we finally reached the Roadhouse there wasn't anyone else around. The van Dean was driving started to make noise and he groaned as he slammed the door closed. I knew he wanted his car back but it was taking him a while to get it back to working order.

The three of us walked toward the door but my phone started ringing and Sam and Dean looked at me. I paused and looked down at my phone and saw it was the BAU. "I'll just be a sec." I smiled. Sam nodded and Dean rolled his eyes. They walked in and I answered. "Hello?" I asked.

"Walsh. We're in Florida. Could use some help." I heard Rossi speak. "I know your on leave but we... we could use your help." He sounded a bit desperate.

"Why whats going on?" I asked.

"Someone is killing people." Rossi sounded annoyed.

"Well I could have guessed that much." I gave him the same tone. " I mean why are you so touchy?" I asked.

He sighed. "It's just been two days and three more bodies. Morgan is on a personal vendetta to God, Hotch is being... well Hotch and..."

"Well I have a few things to take care of here but I'll get there as soon as I can." I said. "Give me today. I'll see you first thing tomorrow."

"Great I'll have Garcia text you the case and where we are set up." Rossi said. Then he hung up. No thank you and no explanation. I huffed and closed my eyes. I guess it was just a matter of time before I had to get back to the real world. I slid my phone in my pocket and headed toward the Roadhouse. When I opened the door I expected to see the boys at the bar drinking but instead I was confused.

Dean was standing in front of Jo with a shotgun in his hand with a big grin on his face. I had to smile, he hasn't smiled a while. Jo looked annoyed with a smirk but Sam wasn't anywhere to be seen. The door closed loudly behind me and Jo and Dean snapped their heads my way. Both their expressions changed.

Jo looked angry and Dean's smile dropped. I just looked at them and before I could say anything Sam came out of the back with Ellen. " Took you two long enough." She laughed as she went behind the bar. Then she looked over to me. "Clara!" She smiled.

"Hi Ellen." I smiled walking in a bit.

"It's nice to see you again." She smiled.

"again?" I laughed taking a seat in front of her. Sam sat next to me and Dean sat a few seats away with Jo.

"Yeah well last Ash said you were admitted to the hospital."

"Ash said that?" I asked. "How did he..."

"What happened?" Sam asked quietly. Ellen nodded and leaned into hear my story.

I could feel the cold stare from Dean. He knew. It was the last time we talked before they went after the demon. I looked up to him and he shook his head with an eye roll. For the last few days he had been very distant and I couldn't understand why.

"Well um... on of the people me and my team were looking for found me first." I smirked a bit. " He had come back to kill the only witness he had left alive." I sighed. "Bradley Smith. Killed ten people and the only person standing between him and freedom was a 13-year-old." I sighed pulling at my long sleeve. I pulled it up and showed Sam and Ellen the bullet hole scared into my forearm. "Aimed for the kid I just stopped it." I smiled.

"Holy crap." Sam sounded worried.

I looked over at him. "Relax Sam, not like I've never been shot before." I laughed and he looked up with wide eyes. I shook my head and looked to Ellen. "But it's not like I was dying. How did Ash even know?"

"because I have kept my eye on you girl." Ash's voice made me jump but he was already behind be and he threw his arms around me and hugged be tightly. He was laughing.

I turned around after he let me go and crossed my arms at him. "and why is that?" I asked with a smirk.

"Well someone's got to!" He laughed. He was drunk but I laughed anyways. I stood and hugged him. I saw the hurt look on Sam and Dean's face. I chose to ignore it. They should know by know Ash never means harm.

"So you left a message on our father's phone. saying you had information." Dean said trying to get Ellen's attention.

"Yeah information for him." Ellen said. "Where is he anyways?"

Sam and Dean got quiet and looked down. I turned to see what their answer would be. "He's dead." Dean said coldly. He could have handled that better.

"How?" Ellen asked.

"Demon." Dean answered.

I saw Jo place a hand on Dean's shoulder. He didn't move and Ellen sighed. "Well. I'm very sorry." Ellen sighed.

"Gotta talk to you." Ash whispered into my ear and then walked slowly away. I looked back and then to Sam and Dean. Sam's head was a bit low as him and Ellen talked. I didn't even pay attention to what they were saying. I looked over to find Dean just looking at me. I sighed and didn't bother trying to talk to him. I just followed Ash to the back and into his room.

The room was dim and there were three home-made computers sitting around and lots of newspaper clippings. I looked around and expected as much. He walked to the corner and opened another beer. I noticed a bottle of Scotch sitting on the table next to me. "You got a glass?" I asked pointing to the bottle.

"Since when do you drink?" He asked.

"Since now." Answered back. He sighed and threw me a glass. I poured what was left of the bottle on the glass and sat next to Ash who planted himself on the old couch. "So what you want to talk to me about?" I asked taking a drink. Much better than Whiskey.

"First lift up your shirt." He said.

"What?" I asked with a laugh.

"Just so I can see your hip." He rolled his eyes. I did as he asked. I knew what he was looking for. "Still there." he sounded relived.

"It's a tattoo Ash. They don't exactly come off." I laughed at him.

"That isn't just a tattoo! Its..."

"Yeah yeah I know! Protection. I know how and anti-possession symbol works." I laughed at him as I pulled my shirt back down.

"Don't be smart with me." He narrowed his eyes.

"I'm not! You went on a whole rant about it years ago when I got it. You're the one who said it was a good idea." I shook my head taking another drink. "Now down to what you wanted." I looked at him.

"Look I want you to hear me out okay?" he asked and then hiccupped. I nodded. "Now I want you to go back to Quantico, go back to catching serial killers and no matter what do not come back." he said with big worried eyes. I laughed and rolled my eyes. "I'm not kidding." he said standing up. "Clara you're in danger!" He said pacing the room.

"Danger?" I laughed at Ash. He was just being paranoid. "Nothing is going to happen to me." I smiled.

"Clara! Come on. You are to mixed into the mess." he sighed. "Just please go back to your team and stay there." He begged.

"Ash your being crazy." I shook my head. "Plus I can't go now... Sam and Dean they..."

"They'll be fine." Ash answered.

"And how can you be sure?" I asked with a sigh as I headed for the door. I opened it and when I walked out Dean was standing just beside the door.

"Because we're Winchesters." He said as he leaned on the wall with his arms crossed. "We always are." he seemed a bit annoyed.

"Yes I know." I smiled.

"Well then you know we don't need you babysitting us." He said rolling his eyes as he started to walk back to where Sam and Ellen were.

"Babysitting?" I laughed. "Dean come on lighten up a bit." I said pushing him from behind.

My hand was still on his shoulder and he whipped it away. "No Ash is right. You hanging around us could get you killed... no more than your real job." He said under his breath. " You should go back to Quantico." he huffed.

"Dean." Sam said standing up trying to defend me. Ellen had walked away to the corner with her daughter to watch from a distance. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"Trying to get Clara back to normal life without getting into deep with our crap." Dean said back to his brother.

"Dean..."

"We don't need you watching our every move or telling us how to feel." Dean said. I have no idea where that was coming from but I just crossed my arms and listened. He needed to get it out of his system before I said anything. "Look we are back to hunting so move along." He said waving his arms toward the door.

"You want me to leave?" I asked not believing him.

"Yes. Go home Clara we don't need you here." Dean came back with a bit of venom in his voice. Now I believed him.

I shook my head at him and sighed. "Well..." I dropped my arms and looked around. Ash was standing just behind me and Sam behind Dean. Jo looked shocked and Ellen looked as if she wanted to smack Dean upside the head. "I guess you and Ash both get what you want." I smiled. I turned to Ash and smiled. "Thank you for caring about my well-being." I hugged him tightly. Then I turned and walked past Sam and Dean. "Ellen do me a favor and keep those two on the right side of the road, and Jo... honey." I smiled looking back to Dean. " You got your work cut our for you... because I officially quit." I smiled and patted her on the back.

"Quit?" Jo asked.

"Yeah Jo I quit." I said throwing my hands in the air as I turned to face the boys.

" You quit?" Dean laughed.

"Yupp." I smiled.

"You quit what?" Dean asked.

"I just quit Dean. So you and Sam get back on the road and continue the family business like raised you to do and throw yourselves in harm's way to save random strangers who wouldn't even give you a passing glance much less lay their lives down." I shook my head at him. "Yeah its brave and all that jazz but tell me something Dean is it really worth it?" I asked. He rolled his eyes at me. "After everything you and Sam have lost..."

"Clara..." Sam tried to stop me.

"No. Sam. I have sat by and watch him drink himself to sleep every night or the past week and a half. He works on the Impala and says nothing to anyone and I have sat and just rolled with it because you both were grieving." I said to Sam. "So Dean lets count what you've lost." I looked back at him. His arms dropped to the side. He was angry now. But fine! Let it all come out now. I was done. " Your mother." That one I know was low but it counted. I defiantly hit a nerve there. "Your Father, and I'm sure you don't have much family left... other than Booby and maybe me." I said.

"Shut it." Dean said through his teeth.

"What? You can beat on me but I can't throw it back at you?" I asked with sarcasm and he looked like he was holding back his fists. "And you know Dean if you wanna hit me... go ahead. I've gotten from bigger guys then you Dean. So if you wanna throw that fist... come on! I dare you!" I stood toe to toe with him and looked up. His face was slowly turning red. "How much longer you going to hold on to all that anger? Until it kills you?" I asked. Now I just wanted him to hit me. Just so he could get it out with already. "Oh but we have already been through that right? Chased a reaper through the hospital until it let go? And tell me... who was there?" I asked. He didn't answer. "Me and Sam. I dropped everything and rushed to your side so you wouldn't die alone! And Sam! Well he did everything he could to get you back." I still stood close to him. "And what kind of thanks do I get? Well I get yelled at, insulted and honestly after all that is said and done... no matter what you can yell and scream at me I will still ALWAYS come running back here to you two." I said. "And that is more than I can say for most of your friends or family."

And that was it. Dean lost it. That last sentence and he couldn't take it. His face scrunched up and he yelled out a bit and finally threw a punch. His fist connected with my right eye and I stumbled back a bit. "DEAN!" Sam yelled. But before Dean could even reply I ran at him and tackled him to the ground. He fell back and I landed on top. I sat up on him and punched him in the face. He grabbed my arm and bent it back until he was on top of me and help my arms down. "You son of a bitch." I said at him. He held my hands down tightly. I yelled out in pain and then lifted my leg up and kneed him in the side. He fell to the side and before he crashed to the ground he managed to kick me in the waist and I rolled back. I pushed myself on my knees and hands and looked over to him. He was trying to stand and when his hands finally planted firmly on the ground I kicked at them and he crashed down again. I was trying to stand up when Dean crawled quickly and punched my in the lip and I fell onto my back. He quickly climbed on me.

"Don't you ever talk about my family like you now everything there is to know!" He yelled holding my wrists down again. "Bottom line Clara your just one person who has little effect on what goes on in my life." That's when I knew he had been drinking. I could smell it. "So don't act all high and mighty when you are the one who comes running." He said pushing harder on my wrists. I struggled but Dean had a good grip and we were just staring at each other.

"DEAN!" Sam yelled again and Dean let go of my wrists. He got off me and Sam helped me up. "Dean what the hell?!" He yelled holding my wrists.

"No Sam, He's right." I said wiping the blood from my lip. I could taste it and knew there was a cut. I sighed looking at Sam and then Dean. "Bottom line I don't have a say what you two do. That's fine. But when you tell me to go home Dean..." I sighed. " Well I can't." I shrugged. "Only home I know is with an old drunk, a vengeful hunter and his sons..." I said looking up to Sam and Dean. That's when I could see Dean had just clicked into what happened and what he said. "And now that vengeful hunter is dead, the old drunk is who knows where. That just leave you two." I shrugged. "So I'm sorry." I said.

"for what?" Dean asked. His tone had changed. Now he was just confused and still drunk.

"For thinking I belonged somewhere and I had a family." I shook my head and slid away from Sam. His eyes got wide and looked scared. I looked up to him and smiled. "Be careful Sammy." I placed a hand on his cheek and he smiled a bit. "Don't get yourselves killed alright?" I could feel the tears in my eyes. Sam saw it and his eyes were glazed to. I turned my head to Dean and dropped my arms. "Bye Dean." I said with a polite nod and headed for the door. The tear had fallen but I wiped it away. Nothing else fell and I pushed open the door and heard it swing closed behind me.

* * *

**Alright! Long Chapter for y'all! Okay so here is my deal. I am moving into res at Nipissing tomorrow so I may not be updating for a few days... but I will do my best! Please review and tell me what you think is going to happen when the team sees the bruises Dean has now left on Clara and how Sam is going to deal with Clara not being around. I kinda wanted to add more drama so I hope that is okay... and in no ways do I condone abusive relationships but I just feel like Clara and Dean just need to battle it out some times! Like he was being an ass so... anyways just don't hate on me for him hitting her first! Okay please... SOOO! Thanks for reading and I have so many idea's like you don't even know! ahaha... Reivew please xo**


	71. Chapter 71

Well that was stupid. I said to myself as I walked out of the Roadhouse with anger in my head and no way of getting back to Bobby's or Florida for that matter. My mouth was still bleeding and I could taste it. I knew the tension between me and Dean needed to broken eventually but maybe less violent next time. I turned onto the highway and stood on the corner. I didn't have to wait long until a man in a transport noticed me standing there looking all beat up and tired.

"Going some place sweetheart." he said with a big grin. I sighed at him. This wasn't going to be good.

I looked up at him and smiled. " Yeah need to get back to North Dakota." I said.

"Well you are one lucky gal." he said. "I'm headed that way anyways." He shifted in his seat.

"Great." I said.

"Hope in the other side." he said and I did. I walked around feeling the gun tucked in my waistband. I had thought about leaving it behind but being and FBI agent and a Hunter I'm always packing. I buckled my seat belt. "Well 8 hours won't be so quiet now." He smiled.

"Yeah about that." I said turning to him. "This isn't a threat or anything but I have had a shitty week and I am carrying a gun so just drive." I said staring him in the eyes. His eyes got wide. "So?" I asked noticing he hadn't started to drive yet.

"Right." he nodded and turned toward the wheel, and drove off.

8 hours went by slow. The trucker tried to ask about the cuts and slowly appearing bruises but I never answered. My eyes were just locked onto the road. My head was again going a mile a minute. I finally got a text about three hours in. It was Garcia. She sent me the file and it was one hell of a case. People were going missing then showing up in the lakes half eaten by crocodiles. One woman was found with ten fingers in her stomach, none of them her's or belonged to the same person. It was a different one.

"So where can I drop you?" The trucker asked as we pulled into town.

I was busy studying he case when he asked. "Um just around the corner. Thanks." I said shoving my phone in my pocket. He pulled around the corner and I jumped out. "Thanks." I smiled to him.

"Just be careful." He said to me. I turned and looked at him. "It's not my place by no man should hit a women." He said with a nod.

"oh! That's not, not what happened. But I'll be alright." I smiled closing the door. He nodded and took off. I was just a block from Bobby's. Then sun was a few hours from setting and if I hurried I could be in Florida with in the next five hours maybe. When I walked in the front door I could hear Bobby on the phone.

"No. I haven't. I thought she was with you." he spoke as I rounded the corner. He stood as soon as he saw me. "Never mind. She's here." He said. I smiled at him and his face got red when he saw me. "Boy I swear to God..."

"Bobby..." I said with a sigh. "Just don't." I said smiling at him.

"Can I talk to her." I could hear the voice on the other end. I didn't know who it was but I had a feeling who it was.

Bobby handed me the phone. I didn't want to answer it but what choice did I have. "Hello?" I pretended not to know who it was.

"Hey.. it's me." Dean's voice sounded worried. "Where did you go? Me and Sam have looked everywhere."

"I'm headed to Florida. Team needs me." I answered quickly. "Go where I'm needed." I said jabbing him with guilt.

I heard him sigh. "Clara I... I don't know what came over me... I'm sooo sorry." He sounded genially sorry.

"Yeah." Was all I could say. I was mad at him, me and just tired. "Just get your head straight before you call me again okay. You can't keep fooling everyone Dean." I sighed. Then I hung up. I sighed as Bobby looked at me.

"What happened?" He asked walking closer.

"I pushed to hard. I don't blame him. I would have snapped to." I sighed. "Don't worry. It's fine. He and Sam just need... I don't know. Just need to get over it you know?" I asked. Bobby nodded.

"So you headed back?" he asked.

I smiled. "Yeah. Back to catching the bad guys. I've had to much time off as it is." I shrugged as I hugged Bobby. "I'll call you though."

"You better." He said letting go and letting me walk upstairs.

I grabbed my bag, wallet and badge from my room and changed my clothes. If I was switching back to FBI mode had to look less like a hunter. I headed downstairs and when I got there Bobby was gone. On the table was 50 bucks and a note.

_Take a car and get back to your world._

_Bobby._

I smiled at his forwardness. I took the money and the keys to an old car. Then I headed for the airport. An hour drive. 8 hours on a plane and I was finally in Bridgewater, Florida. It was hot and I could tell the air was heavy. I checked into my hotel room and showered. It felt good but I still felt like crap. I changed again and then called Rossi.

"Hey where are you guys?" I asked.

"Morgan and Hotch are at the police station talking to a suspect, local preacher. JJ and I are heading the search and Reid is working on the geographical profile." Rossi filled me in. "Go to the station and Reid will get you caught up." he said.

"Alright will do." I sighed getting into a black SUV left in the parking lot for me.

"You good?" he asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked before driving away.

"Clara we all know you lost someone..."

"Rossi. I'm fine. I'll see you in a bit good luck with the search." I said and hung up. Truth was I didn't wanna talk about John. I couldn't I wasn't handling it any better than the boys.

When I walked into the station not a lot was going on. The phones were ringing and a few people talking but no crying or anything like that. I walked up to one of the deputies. "Excuse me. SSA Clara Walsh." I flashed him my badge. "My team is investigating a series of murders. You know where I can find Agent Hotchner?" I asked.

The women didn't look up right away when I announced myself. She was typing and she looked tired. I waited a second and she sighed. "Agent Hotchner and Morgan are in the..." She looked up. "Oh my God." She said quietly. "Are you okay?" She asked.

I sighed. I didn't think it looked that bad. I noticed the small mirror on her desk that was facing me. My eye was turning dark blue, my lip was puffy and still red from the cut and my cheek had a scratch on it that was still fresh enough to be red. "Yes. Just a misunderstanding." I smiled at her.

"Jesus... well the Agents are in interrogation room one. The door for the view is at the end of the hall." She said looking at me with sadness.

"Thank you." I smiled and headed for the room. I could hear Morgan talking loudly. He didn't seem to happy. I opened the door and hoped to be alone but of course Hotch was behind the class, arms crossed and a sour look on his face. "Hey. So we looking at who did it?" I asked standing next to him trying to hide my face. "Pastor?" I asked.

" I doubt it." Hotch said not looking at me just yet. "But Morgan how ever is very keen on it." He sighed. I watched for a minute as Morgan circled the Pastor with an angry look on his face.

"Where is Tracy!" Morgan yelled and Hotch sighed.

"I'll go and talk to the Pastor. Get Morgan away from him." I said leaving the room quickly before Hotch could see me.

"I don't know!" The Pastor yelled.

"Your lying!" Morgan.

Morgan picked the man up by the collar and pressed him to the wall. The man looked scared and most people would be. I opened the door quickly and pulled Morgan's shirt from behind. "Morgan!" I yelled as his grip on the man tightened and let go.

"Morgan out now." Hotch demanded. I didn't even know he was behind me.

It was quiet for a second and the only person who could see my face was the Pastor. His face got sad and eyes wide. "Oh my.. Child, are you alright?" He asked placing a hand on my shoulder. Morgan and Hotch we behind me and I know they would have questions.

"Yes. I am fine." I smiled.

"Walsh when did you get here?" Morgan asked.

"Did someone do this to you?" The Pastor asked.

"Yes but it was a misunderstanding and my fault." I sighed looking that Pastor. "Now how about you take a seat and I'll be back in a minute." I smiled as the men left first and I followed. I sighed when I had to turn to them. "So what happened? He did it or we just looking for a reason to yell a people?" I asked Morgan and as soon as he saw me his eyes were just as wide as the deputy's. Hotch's arm's crossed quickly and his eyes narrowed.

"Holy... Clara what happened?" Morgan asked in a worried tone.

"Nothing." I said sighing. "So the case what we dealing with?" I asked.

"That is _not_ nothing." Derek's voice turned protective and angry.

"He's right Walsh." Hotch said.

"Alright. Guys if you don't mind. Can we catch a killer first." I asked throwing my arms up. They both looked at me with concern and doubt. I sighed and before I could say anything else my phone rang. "Ya?" I answered without looking for who it was.

"Hey my wonderful crime fighter! You have rejoined us." Garcia's voice beamed. I smiled a bit.

"Hey Garcia." I said and I heard Morgan sigh and look down. It was strange she always called him.

"So I got everything you guys need." She said as I put her on speaker. "So you told me to look for patients in mental hospitals. I went way back and I think I found your guy." She said.

"Garcia." Hotch started.

"right. His name is Floyd Feylinn Ferell. Was in a the mental hospital ever since he was a kid and when he was 18 they released him. He has a violent past and is very keen on..." She paused and we all looked at each other. "Eating folk." She said with a bit of grossness. I sighed. Of course I had to come back to this.

"Lovely." I said.

"Yeah.. right." She sighed a bit. "So Ferell is at 148 Glendale road." She said.

"Thank's Garcia." Hotch said as I hung up. I wanted to ask why she had called me but I would when we got back to the BAU. Just as I hung up the rest of the team joined us. "Alright Rossi, Walsh and Morgan. JJ and Reid you come with me." Hotch ordered and we all went off to the SUVs. When the rest of the team showed up their eyes were one me. I ignored them as best I could. I rushed out of the doors as fast as I could trying to avoid questions.

I jumped in the back to the SUV and looked out the window as Rossi drove quickly through traffic. Morgan and Rossi exchanged looks but said nothing. I was thankful for that. I was first out of the car when we pulled into the driveway. Hotch was right next to me as his SUV pulled in at the same time. He went in first and we all headed toward the sound of music.

The basement was dark and had multiple rooms. We al took one and when I entered a room with my gun raised I always feel to my knees. There was an altar. Just just any altar, a demon summoning alter. Blood splattered the walls and the alter. Black sheets and candles laid everywhere. I lowered my gun as I looked behind me quickly. No one around. I pulled out my phone and took quick pictures. "Oh no..." I whispered out.

"What is it?" Reid asked from behind me. I didn't even know he was there. "Oh wow... he is a Satanist. Figured as much." Reid sighed.

"We got him collared..." Morgan stepped into the room. "Wow this guys is a whole new basket of crazy." He said looking around.

And with that my worst fear hit me in the face. I watched from behind Morgan and Reid. They were looking around so they missed it but again I wanted to drop to my knees and scream. Floyd Feylinn Ferell turned his head and looked right at me. Not with the hazel eyes his birth record stated. But black demon eyes. He smiled and then he was pushed up the stairs by Rossi. "Oh no.." I said quietly to myself again.

"What was that?" Morgan asked.

"What?" I said turning to him with confusion.

"You said something." He said putting his gun in its holster as did I.

" No I didn't." I shook my head leaving the room quickly. I jogged up the stairs feeling their eyes on me.

"Something seem off about her to you?" I heard Morgan say to Reid.

I didn't stop at the top of the stairs. I pushed past the officers coming into the house. I couldn't believe it. How could this of all things be happening. Demons aren't supposed to be on my cases! They are supposed to stay with the Winchesters! Not me! MY head was screaming as I reached the back of an SUV. I slammed my back into the rear window. My hands were on my knees and I hung me head. "Okay just relax. Get a hold of yourself." I said to myself. "dammit!" I yelled at myself. I needed to deal with this now.

* * *

**Well that was a bit of a wait for y'all but thanks for all the follows, favs and reviews! Mean's so much to me! I'm havin a hard time being away from home. So new dorm and kinda a new part of life and I'm trying to be strong and when you all share how much you love my fic it makes me feel ike 100% better! SO THANK YOU SOOOOOOOO FREAKING MUCH! **

**NOW~ about that ending. Just keep your hope low... the team isn't going to find out about the supernatural world just yet.. but they do think something is off about Clara... and the protectiveness is gonna come out very soon! ah next chapter is gonna be fun and hurt because all those Criminal Minds fans knows what happened at the end of this episode (Garcia gets in trouble... :( ) **

**LIKE ALWAYS PLEASE REIVEW! THANKS xoxo**


	72. Chapter 72

The ride back to the police station was quick and quiet. No one had seen me rush out of that house, I think. The police chief placed Ferell in an interrogation room. There was still one woman missing. It was the first he abducted. The rest he had frozen in his freezer.

Morgan was up to talk to Ferell and him and Hotch were headed to talk to him. Ferell had not said anything. Not a cry of anger, no plea of innocence he didn't even cough. Usually unsubs had a lot to say about getting caught.

" Floyd Feylinn Ferell." Morgan said his name. His eyes staid down and hands in his lap. We all watched from the other side. I was biting my nails in the back of everyone praying the demon wasn't gonna come out. "You have one hell of a history. Placed in a mental hospital when you were 8. For burning down a school." Morgan shook his head as he spoke. " And now look at you. Guilty of numerous murders and the kidnapping of Tracy Lambert."

"Where is she Ferell." Hotch said.

Ferell kept his head down. His hands still in his lap and a small smirk on his face. He still said nothing. Hotch and Morgan asked many times and tried to get him to talk. Nothing happened. Then out of no where when Morgan sat down beside Hotch Ferell looked up and looked toward the one way glass. His smiled grew a bit.

"I'll only speak to Supervisory Special Agent Clara Theron Walsh." Everyone turned to me. Only three people in the world knew my middle name. Only one was still alive. I was biting my nails and when he said my whole name my hands dropped and so did my face. "I know she is watching." He said and my whole team and a few police officers were just staring at me. I walked toward the door not saying anything putting on my brave face and switching to hunter mode just incase.

I reached out for the door and opened it. "You wanted to talk to me?" I asked walking in standing in between Hotch and Morgan with their eyes just locked to me.

"Yes." He looked up at me. I crossed my arms and looked down at him. "Those... Those are some beautiful bruises." He said. "Do you all know how she got those?" He laughed. "Because I do." he smiled.

"That's not what I'm here for." I said with a forceful tone.

"No..." He sighed. " Your here to put Floyd Feylinn Ferell in jail for killing all those women." He said leaning back in his chair.

"Yes we are." I nodded.

Ferell turned his attention to the men. "If you agents will just give me a second. Then you can throw me in jail." He smiled. Hotch and Morgan gave each other looks. There was no way they were leaving. So I turned to them.

"It's fine." I nodded. They both stood. Morgan didn't want to leave but Hotch gave him that look. Where I was standing I was more safe in that room then they were. I felt better that they left. I didn't need their safety depending on me.

"Please sit." He smiled pointing to the chairs. I didn't move. I needed to have the advantage if he was to smoke out or make a move. "Fine." he acted insulted. "So Clara. I have had my eye on you for a while now... Glad we can finally have a chat." He smiled.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"You see being a serial killer an all... kinda gotta keep my entertainment up." he smiled. "Needed something to do in my spare time. " He chuckled a bit. I knew this was not going to end well. I was just trying to keep my head so I didn't freak out on our unsub. "How are the boys by the way?" He smiled. My arms dropped to my side. My fists balled and were squeezing tightly. "Ouu. Hit a nerve?" He asked lifting his eyebrows. "Am I hitting a soft spot there agent?" He asked slowly standing up.

"Sit down." I ordered but he didn't listen.

"No. You see while I haven been watching I have realized how close you and those two are." he sighed. "It's a bit sad actually. You see you just got out of trouble but as soon as you met those two, you were pushed right back in the fire." He shook his head. " And I was rooting for you. So sad." He shook his head as he looked down. "So I thought you should know. A storms coming. And you better believe you are a main piece." He started walking around the table closer to me. I stayed still my eyes locked with his. I was waiting for them to change again. " So?" he asked.

"So what?" I asked.

"What are we going to do about this?" He asked. " I mean, your mother is dead, your brother, your father..." He sighed. My eyes narrowed at them.

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"Oh I know everything there is to know about you Clara." He smiled. "And by the way..." he paused. "How's John?" he asked with a wicked smile. Then that was when my anger snapped.

" You son of a bitch!" I yelled jumping at him. He was laughing and when I pushed him into the wall I could hear my name being called by the team. I hit Ferell once before I was pulled off by Morgan. I went back to hit him again. "Let me go!" I yelled fighting against Morgan's hold on me.

"Clara." Hotch's voice made me stop. No one was looking at Ferell other than me. I was the FBI agent who just attacked a prisoner. My eyes were glued to Ferell. His eyes turned again but instead of Black they went grey and a swirl yellow. My eyes widened.

"Son of a..." I whispered out as the officers pulled Ferell out of the room and took him to lock up. I pushed Morgan off of me. I stepped away from the team and they all stared at me. I looked at them and realized how crazy that looked. I sighed deeply and left the room. They all watched and I hated how that looked. "dammit!" I said as I exited the building and hit the wall.

I took the same SUV back to the hotel and gathered my things. We were leaving soon and I needed to just get back to Virginia and get to normal again. I was packing my bag and when I shook one of my sweaters a piece of paper fell out of the pocket.


	73. Chapter 73

_February 16th,_

_She seems to be warming up to this. She can shoot as well as my boys. She can kick anyone down and back in their place. She will always speak her mind she never backs down from a fight. Most of all she isn't afraid of anything. She isn't like the rest. She is smart and can handle herself. My boys need someone like her. Someone stable and who will be there. I can see it even if they don't just yet. It's funny looking back now, David would have been horrified if she knew about this life but now I think he would be proud._

_Note to Sam and Dean, don't lose Clara. The one person on your side no matter what._

_-J.W_

_**He's right. We do need you.**_

_**-Dean.**_

* * *

My hands were shaking as I read the note. I knew it was ripped from John's journal. My eyes were burning again and the tears welled up. I was about to fall onto my bed and sit trying to hold back the tears but there was a knock on the door. I took a deep breath and put the page on my bag and walked to the door. I shut my eyes before I opened the door and just as I did I opened them. They were still glazed but not as noticeable.

"Hey? Spence what's up?" I asked seeing Reid at my door with his bag.

He looked at me for a moment. He saw the tears I was holding back. "Umm... Wheels up in ten." He sighed.

"Okay. I'll be right there." I smiled as he turned slowly. I closed the door and hung my head. I didn't have time for my melt down. That would have to wait. I just need to push through the pain like the boys did. I grabbed my bag and reached for my dad's journal. I always carried it with me. For safe keeping and a guide just incase. I placed John's page in the front and shoved the book back in my bag. I left the room in a hurry and met the team at the airport. I got in the jet first and sat alone in the back. The sun was setting when we took off and I put the light over me on so I could read my father's journal over again.

Just before we took off Hotch got a phone call and I over heard his side. "Hotchner. Yes. Wait... what do mean... How?" He asked looking right at me. I didn't look up right away I could just see him out of the corner of my eye. He hung up and walked over to me. "Ferell is dead." He said in a calmed voice. He sat right across from me and stared at me.

I quickly closed the journal before he could see. "How?" I looked up quickly.

"Officers found him in his cell passed out. They don't have a reason. Corner is suggesting heart attack." Hotch said not dropping his stare.

"Wow..." I sighed. I knew what happened. The yellow-eyed demon smoked out and left the body behind. " Did they find Tracy yet?" Was my next question. Hotch shook his head. I sighed. "What the hell did he do with her." I asked myself and looked down.

" He killed her and fed her to the volunteers searching for her." Hotch said. I looked up quickly in horror. That was awful.

"Oh my God..." I shook my head. "He really was insane." I said. I was trying to move past what happened.

"So you going to tell me what is going on?" Hotch asked leaning forward.

"What do you mean?" I asked shrugging.

"Don't avoid the question." He shook his head. I watched as Morgan walked over and sat behind Hotch's seat so he could hear. " You take off for a family emergency. Which I completely understand. Your gone for a week and when you come back you are beat up, and you attack an unsub... an unsub who knew your name and seemed to know everything about you." He said raising his eyebrows hoping for some answers. "Care to explain?" He asked.

"No." I said looking up at him with anger.

"Walsh you can't work like this." Hotch said.

"Like what? Hotch you can't seriously tell me you or the other members of this team have ever lost it a bit. Hell Morgan did it earlier on a freaking Pastor. And your giving me the third degree." I asked. I was insulted he was coming after me not Morgan.

"Defensive. Avoiding the question. Bruises, all signs of an abusive relationship or you're keeping something from this team." Hotch said.

"Agent Hotchner." I started. He knew I was angry by the way I said his name. "Do not profile me." I said.

"Why?" He asked. " You think I'll find something you don't like. Or we might uncover something." Hotch was acting strange. He never gave the others this much hell.

" I am a human being. I am allowed to have my own life right?" I asked. " I realized we spend a lot of time together but does that mean you all have to know my personal life? Because I tell you, it's not that interesting." I tried to get him to drop it. "We all have our problems Hotch." I said shaking my head. "And I can deal with mine by myself." I said leaning back in my chair and looking out the dark window.

"You have had this job for a few months now and you are a very skilled agent but I cannot have people on this team who can't handle the job." Hotch said as he begun to stand up.

" You saying I can't do my job?" I said crossing my arms looking up at him.

"No. I'm saying this job doesn't have to be as hard as you are making it." He said and walked away. He sounded like John. I shook my head at him. I didn't need this. I just needed to get over my feelings of confusion and anger and move on.

When we landed Rossi, JJ, and Reid went him. Hotch went to his office as usual. JJ said she would be back earlier in the morning to get her paper work filled out. I went to my desk and noticed the file on our case was already there. I sighed when I opened it and read through it. I filled out what I needed and was getting ready to go home.

"Morgan you up for a drink?" I asked as I was about to leave.

He looked up at me and was about to speak when Garcia came running down the hall. "Clara." She whispered. She was running in her heels and I laughed a bit.

"Hey... whats up?" I asked as she almost ran into me.

"Just come." She smiled pulling me back to her office.

"When she lets me go I'll be at Decon's down the road. Feel free to join me." I smiled to Morgan as Garcia pulled me around the corner. "Penelope!" I laughed a bit as she closed the door. "What is with you." I smiled.

"I have a date." She said out of breath.

"Really?" I asked. I was smiling but my heart sank a bit. Date. Been a while since I have been on one of those. "Who with?" I asked as she paced in front of me.

"His name is James... James Bailer and his friends call him Colby." She smiled brightly. She was out of breath. "and I'm meeting him for dinner in like an hour and a half." She said.

"Um Penelope... did you wanna change? Because you're wearing jeans..." I smiled. "Unless your dressed and in which case you looked good." I laughed.

"No... I can't decide what to wear... come over and... OH MY GOD!" She yelled dropping the rubber band and pen she was playing with. Her eyes were fixed on me. "What _the _hell happened to your face?" She asked walking in closer and grabbing my cheek and expecting my marks.

I laughed a bit. "It's not big deal." I pushed her away. "You should see him." I laughed.

"Was that the unsub?" She asked.

"So about your date..." I tried to just move around the question.

"You avoided my question! Who did that!?" She asked in a panic.

"Penelope!" I stopped her. "Just don't worry about it." I smiled. " It's nothing."

"Oh no!" She shook her head. "I swear I will hunt this guy down and kick his butt!" She twirled.

"I already did." I laughed.

"Was it one of those boys." I didn't answer. " I thought you said you guys were family... why would... What happened?"

"Garcia." I sighed. "Look it has not been an easy week so how about we focus on your date and after we can get a drink and talk about your night and my week. Okay?" I asked.

" You don't drink." She stated.

"Yeah well I do now." I smiled linking my arm with hers. We walked toward the elevator. I noticed Morgan still at his desk and I was waiting for Garcia to turn and say 'goodnight my love...' and for him with smile and reply 'goodnight baby girl.' but nothing. We got on the elevator and she didn't so much as look at him.

We stood in the quiet for a second. "Okay so what is the deal with you and Derek?" I asked.

"Nothing." She said turning her head.

"Really? What happened to goodnight my love and goof night baby girl." I mocked her and she punched me lightly on the arm.

"Just..." She sighed. "Men." She shook her head.

"Preaching to the freaking choir hon." I giggled with her. "so what happened."

" I told him about the guy I met and he said I should go with how I feel. And I did but then he said that the guy seemed to..."

"He said something he shouldn't have instead of just listening?" I filled in for her.

"YES!" She squealed. "How come you get it and he doesn't?" She asked rolling her eyes as we made our way to our cars. Mine was still in the parking lot since I left a week ago.

"Men don't get that sometimes. The are to busy worry about their problems or their feels to care or think of ours." I answered her. "For guys it's always about them. Unless someone is dying. But sometimes they just need a good slap and they realize." I smiled a bit and she nodded.

" You come and help me pick something out." She said as she got in her car and took off in front of me. I followed and met her at her place. She pulled me into her apartment and then went into her room. "OKAY! Its is between this..." She paused and walked out. She was hearing a blue dress with black heels. "Or..." She turned back and walked back into room. "This.." She said after a few minutes. She walked in in a silver dress with a small silver and gold cardigan or jacket. Black heels and nice jewellery.

I took a second and looked at her. "That one." I smiled. "You looked good." I nodded and her smile grew. "He is so going to love you." I smiled.

"Aw you so sweet." She smiled as she hugged me. "I'll call you when I get home and we can talk. Alright?" She asked.

"Yeah of course." I smiled. I was going to let her talk all she wanted to but I wasn't going to.

" You know you are the only newbie I like." She smiled. "We have a lot of new people around the BAU and most aren't anything special but you... you are just awesome." She smiled hugging me again.

"Thanks Penelope."

"We are lucky to have you." She squeezed tightly.

"Really?" I sounded doubtful. She nodded. "Wow... it's nice to be needed for a change." I smiled. "And hey you tell James if he breaks you heart he'll have to answer to me." I smiled.

"Well I am scared for him." She smiled as we both left her apartment. James was picking her up soon and I needed a drink.

I headed over to Decon's bar. No one was really around which was good. I sat at the end of the bar in the back with my father's journal in my hands. I sat down and the bartender looked at me with confusion. I smiled politely at him.

"Scotch." I said.

"Lemon or ice?" He asked.

"No just in a class." I corrected him and he laughed a bit.

"Scotch neat coming up." He turned and got me a drink.

He placed it next to my hand as I sat going through each page trying to find something. I have been over those pages a million times but maybe I missed something. I always think that. I sat quietly for about half hour going through two glasses.

"So? Pretty girl alone at a bar drinking and reading a book with a very focused look on her face." The bartender spoke up. " Something wrong there." He smiled.

"I'm sorry what?" I asked looking up to him. He was refilling my glass again.

"Something is wrong with this picture." He said waving his hand in front of me.

"Why?" I asked.

"Well pretty girl like yourself shouldn't exactly be alone on a saturday night." he smiled.

"Ah well one, I don't mind being alone. Worked better that way and two women don't like to be called girls. Just to help you out there." I smiled at him looking back down.

"Oh..." He said looking at me. "I'm sorry I didn't know you were in a relationship." He said.

"I'm not?" I shook my head.

"Oh... so that isn't from a boyfriend?" He asked pointing to my face.

I sighed. "No." I said looking up to him.

"Well gotta say makes you look bad ass." He smiled at me. "Like on of those girls on a cop show who doesn't take crap from anyone." He smiled.

"Yeah?" I asked reaching into my purse. He nodded. "Well your never going to guess what I do for a living then." I laughed at him. I pulled out my badge and he looked amazed.

"Wooh. FBI that is intense." He was impressed. "I'm not kidding you are badass." He smiled. "I'm Blake." He stuck his hand out. I smiled and went with it.

"Clara." I shook his hand.

" Wow... pretty name to go with that badass persona." He grinned.

"Thanks." I smiled at him.

"So is that a case?" He asked. I looked up with confusion. "You've sat quietly for a while just staring at that book. So my best guess is an unsolved case that you want to solve because it's personal?" He asked.

"You watch way to much T.V." I shook my head.

"Hey it was worth a shot." He shrugged. "So is it?"

"No. It's just a book." I smiled.

" Oh well seems pretty complex." he said. "I mean from the way your eyes move and scrunch up." He laughed.

"How long have you been watching me?" I asked.

He blushed a bit. "Um since you walked in I guess." he smiled.

"Oh well I am flattered." I smiled nodding my head.

"So what's his name?" he asked.

"excuse me?" I asked putting the journal down and looking to Blake. He leaned in.

"The guy. I have stood here for like twenty minutes now hitting on you and it has gone all over your head. So there has to be a guy..." He asked.

"How could you possibly know that?" I asked taking a drink.

"Eh I know what it looks like when someone is hurting for a person." He shrugged. "So name?" He asked.

"I'm not tellin' you." I smiled. " You could be a stalker or a serial killer." I said raising my eyebrows.

"Well that's true." Blake smiled and then went on with his job. I sat quickly again for a minute. I had already had three drinks and I was starting to feel that buzz in my head.


	74. Chapter 74

"Walsh?" Morgan's voice make me turned after I finished my third drink. I turned to him and he sat next to me. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Um having a drink." I smiled.

"You don't drink." He said.

I sighed. "I do now." I gave him the same answer. He just looked at me and shook his head. "What?" I sighed knowing he wanted to say something.

"Okay I'm saying this because I care... " he turned to me. " What the hell is going on with you?" he asked.

"Nothing... Just dealing with some stuff. Jezz you guys are so concerned for no reason." I rolled my eyes.

"No we are worried for a very good reason. Clara you just lost a friend and now you're sitting in a bar drinking with bruises on you face." Derek took the glass from me.

"No offence Derek but don't." I sighed. " You don't need to or want to know." I said looking down.

"Why not?" He asked.

"because you just don't. Okay. You don't to hear about my fucked up world." I said pushing away from the bar and heading for the door. I heard him follow me. "Please just leave me alone." I asked as I reached for my keys.

"Oh no! There is no way I am letting you drive." He swooped in and took my keys.

"And there is no way I am letting you drive my car. No one other than me drives my car." I shook my head.

"Fine. I'll walk you home." He said linking my arm with his.

"Ugh why are you doing this. I live like twenty minutes from here." I said.

"Because you are my friend." He said nodding. I looked at him and sighed. "So you wanna tell me now?" He asked.

"No."I sighed.

"Why?" He asked as we walked.

"Girl's gotta have her secrets." I laughed.

"Yes but secrets that get her beat up..."

"I didn't get beat up." I stopped walking. "I have a big mouth and sometimes I just push to far..." I said defending Dean. I was still mad at him but I had to defend him.

"Is that what you believe?" Derek asked.

"No, it's what I know." I said. "Look Derek I appreciate the concern but I assure you that but Dean he.."

"Dean?" Morgan took a step back. "That's one of the guys you grew up with isn't it." He sounded defensive.

"Just forget it." I said walking away. But Morgan followed me. I got closer to my apartment and he was still on me. "Morgan go home." I said reaching the door.

"Not until you talk to me." He said standing between me and the door.

"Oh.. gez you sound like a girl." I laughed. He crossed his arms waited. He wasn't going anywhere. "Fine. But you're not going to like." I said as he opened the door for me and I walked in. We walked up the stairs. "It's really not a big deal. People just have their limits." I said going for my keys and putting them in the lock. I went to turn it to unlock when I realized it was already unlocked. I had a feeling someone had broken in and haven't left yet. "But look Derek I am so tired and to be fair I don't wanna talk about it."

"Clara seriously." he shook his head.

"Just go home. And maybe work on your apology to Penelope." I smiled.

"She still mad?" He sighed in anger.

"Oh big time. I don't know what you said but next time she tells you about a guy just shut up and listen." I laughed. "Get you in less trouble." i smiled.

"Clara..."

"Derek please." I asked placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Well my phone is on if you need me." He said taking one last look at me and sighed. He put his hands in his pockets and walked back down the hallway.

I smiled his way and then slowly opened the door. It was dark. But nothing was knocked over or anything like that. I stepped in pulling my gun from my purse. I gave a quick look around the main open room then turned to close the door. I lifted the rug to see the devil's trap that has been there since I moved in was still in tacked.

"Hunter instincts?" Sam's voice made me jump and turn quickly. I had my gun on him and he threw his hands up with a laugh. "Wooh... it's me." He said and I turned the light on. I dropped my gun when I saw his face.

"Jesus Sam." I thew my purse to the ground and placed my gun on the coffee table. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Well I tried calling up you didn't answer."

"I was in florida... on a case." I said walking around him toward my bedroom. "Something you want Sam?" I asked before I went into my room. I turned to him and his head was down.

"Yeah.. um.." He stuttered.

"Sam?" I asked walking back over to him. "What is it?" I asked. He was quiet and kept looking to the door. "You didn't come here alone did you?" i asked crossing my arms realizing he was waiting for someone to come.

"No... Look just hear me out.."

"No Sam. I have nothing else to say." I shrugged.

"Yeah and he hasn't spoken since you left." Sam snapped back. "It's been like two days. We went on a hunt and he wouldn't talk. I asked over and over again if he was alright and he looked like he wanted to explode." Sam threw his arms up. "I don't know what else to do!" He yelled.

"Go your own way." I said crossing my arms.

"What?" he asked dropping his mouth a bit.

"He dosen't want to talk then leave."

"I can't do that." Sam shook his head. "And I know you can't either." He smiled a bit. I looked at him like I didn't know what he was talking about. "Oh come on Clara you think I can't see it?" He laughed. "I know damn well how you feel about him."

"Yeah he is a reckless asshat." I corrected him.

Sam laughed. "No... well yeah but I know, i heard what you said to my dad when we were in the hospital." he smiled and my arms dropped and my heart sank a bit.

"I don't know what you are talking about." I snapped at him.

"You lov..."

"Don't!" I rushed to him and slammed my hand in front of his mouth. "No I don't." I shook my head my eyes full of fear Dean might find out.

"You are such a liar." He grabbed my hands and pulled them off his face. "Why don't you go talk to him?" Sam asked.

"Um... I tried... remember?" I said pointing to my face.

"You know he didn't mean it." Sam sighed.

I sighed. "Yes I know but he needs to figure out he is broken on his own. I can't always be the one to pick up the pieces." I shook my head. "I can't help him when I'm barely keeping it together myself." I said walking into my room. I heard Sam trying to say something but the door closed before he finished. I didn't hear him leave as I changed so I knew he was sitting on the couch waiting. I put on a pair of shorts and a sweater. I was beyond tired but I knew Sam wouldn't leave.

I walked out and noticed him sitting on the couch his hands clasped together waiting patiently for me. I sighed and walked over and sat next to him. "What?" I asked nudging him a bit.

"The visions are getting worse." He said rubbing his head. "But now I can't remember who is in them. I just see fragments." He looked down.

"What do you see?" I asked.

"People dying." He sighed.

"Me too..." I said looking down. He looked at me with shock. "My dreams are getting more realistic and the same people die over and over again." I said turning to him. "But I try to forget it... maybe it would be easier for you to just let it go? Don't worry so much about others. Focus on Sam for once." I said with a small smile. "But..." I stood. "Because I know the Winchesters..." I said walking to the door. I noticed the stunned look on his face. I stood on one side of the door and turned the knob and opened the door quickly. Making Dean tumble in. He had stood with his head pressed against the door since I came from my room. Sam's eyes were so focused on the door I knew someone was out there. "and they will do anything to avoid the bigger problem." I pushed the door closed and it slammed. Dean tried to regain his balance but I grabbed his collar and pushed him toward the couch. He landed back and fell over Sam. Sam grunted and pushed his brother off of him. I walked over and stood in front of the boys with my arms crossed.

Dean laughed nervously as he looked up at me straightening his jacket. "Hi..." He said looking down.

"Oh no... you don't get away with a charming smile." I shook my head at him. " I am still mad at you. But we have bigger problems." I said.

"We do?" Sam asked.

"Yeah..." I said walking over to my purse and pulling out my phone. I pulled up the pictures of Ferell's house and gave the phone to the boys. "One of our Unsubs had all that in a room..."

"Unsubs?" Dean asked looking up at me.

Sometimes I forget not everyone knew what that was. "Unknown Subjects... he killed eleven women, cut off their fingers and shoved them down the last women's body." I said.

"Ew..." Dean said.

"Oh I'm not even done yet." I said looking to Sam who was studying the pictures. "He kidnapped another women just before I arrived. Tracy was his last kill, he cut her up and made her into stew.. literally." I said and the boys looked up at me. "And fed it to the volunteers looking for her." I said looking at my phone then at them.

"Did you catch this guy?" Sam asked.

"Yes." I nodded.

"Then why are you telling us this?" Dean asked. "and... how did you know I was at the door?" he squinted his eyes at me.

I rolled my eyes and took my phone. "Because I just knew." I said in a frustrated tone. "And I'm telling you this because the man who did this is dead." I said. "Shortly after we left he was found in his cell. No injuries but his heart just gave out." I said and they looked at me. I was waiting for them to realize what I was hinting at. "Oh for God sakes and you call yourselves hunters!" I said throwing my arms up. " He was a freaking demon." I said.

"OH..." Sam said. "Well what happened to the demon?" Sam asked. Dean looked my way realizing there was more to the story.

"What did it do to you?" Dean asked and I sighed a bit in relief. He knew the look.

"It knew my name..." I said looking at him and crossing my arms. "Not just my first name... like my whole name..." I said. "and that isn't all.. it knew everything... he asked about you and my parents." I said looking at the boys.

"When did was this?" Dean asked.

"Yesterday afternoon. Called me out while two other agents were interrogating him... he confessed everything to me and told me I was special." I said looking down. Dean and Sam stood at the same time and I sat where they had sat. Retelling the story made me realize how much trouble this could get me into.

"What did you do?" Sam asked.

"I may have attacked the guy he was possessing..." I said looking down. "In front of my whole team." I sighed.

"why?" Sam asked.

"Well for one he said I was special and a part of something bigger then the son of a bitch asked me how John and his boys were." I shook my head repeating what he demon had said. "and I snapped."

"What do you mean special?" Dean asked.

" I don't know?!" I said and Dean looked down at me. "He said a storm was coming and I was a main piece... he knew everything about me..."

"Demons say what ever they need to just to get under your skin." Sam said.

"Yeah well it worked... and when did Demons become such a normal thing for you? Before there were like like what three a year?" I asked.

"Yeah that was before old yellow eyes started his games..." Dean rolled his eyes.

"Wait what?" I stood quickly alarmed by what he said. "What did you say?"

"Before the demons started playing games..." Dean said shaking his head.

"No... before that... what colour were it's eyes?" I asked and they both looked at me. I must have looked panicked because they seemed worried.

"Yellow..."Dean answered.

"Ohh... that's wonderful." I said shaking my head. "Yellow eyes... the one who killed your mother, the one John had been obsessed with and the one who could have been the one behind his death?" I asked al in one breath. They both nodded. "The um... the demon back in Florida... his eyes weren't black." I sighed.

"Oh come on... don't tell me..." Dean sighed.

"They were yellow." I said and he shook his head.

"Your kidding right?" He asked anger in his voice. I shook my head. "Jesus... Well that's just great." He rubbed his forehead.

"I'm... I'm screwed aren't I?" I asked looking up with big eyes. I was scared. Everyone who comes close to this demon almost dies or is killed. I stood and walked behind the couch.

"No. Clara you'll be fine." Sam assured me.

"Really?" I asked. "because last time I checked this demon kill your mother, burnt down your house, threw a transport at you, probably killed John and made it very clear that I;m being dragged into the fire." I said scared and out of breath.

"Wooh! Clara just calm down..." Dean tried to calm me and walked closer.

"Calm down! How the hell am I supposed to to that! Dean... I..." I felt the tears come back and I tried my best to keep them in. "I don't wanna die." I said dropping my arms to my side just about giving up.

"Hey!" Dean snapped at me and grabbed my shoulders. I didn't even flinch when he grabbed me. He made me look at him and he stared at me. " That is not going to happen. No way." He smiled a bit.

"But it.."

"No." he stopped me by putting a hand over my mouth. "I said no. There is no chance in hell." He said and I nodded a bit. "So don't worry about it... because we are going to find it and kill it. Right Sammy?" he asked his brother but didn't look away from me.

"Yes." Sam nodded. I looked over to him as Dean's hand drop. I smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Okay... I think I'm done with the melt down." I said pushing away from Dean a bit.

* * *

**So I think that is t for tonight... maybe I haven't decided yet... because another hard moment is going to hit for Clara when she gets the call from Hotch about Penelope. *sigh* that is going to suck to write. But I feel like it would be to much for Clara to handle... to just lose John, and now about to lose Penelope... idk can she handle it? and if y'all could help me... when do Sam and Dean find out about John's deal with Azazel? Like when do they know John sold his soul for Dean? I don't remember and I can't find it... I need to know so any help and feed back would be soo helpful!**

**Reivew Thanks xo**


	75. Chapter 75

Truth be told I was still so afraid and I just wanted Dean and Sam around me all night and day. I wasn't afraid to die I was afraid I would die before my time. I know that sounds ridiculous but it's true. After I pushed away from Dean he stepped back.

" You guys have a case?" I asked after we all sat quietly for a few minutes.

"No... we just killed a killer clown." Dean smiled.

"Seriously?" I laughed. "Aw Sammy you must have been horrified." I said looking at him.

"Shut up." He looked down. I laughed and Dean did to. "In my defence it wasn't a clown.. just a Rakshasa." He said trying to stick up for himself.

"Oh Sam that doesn't make it any better." I laughed. "Just as silly as Dean an my fear of flying." I laughed looking over at it.

"Planes crash!" he laughed.

"Clowns kill!" Sam yelled back. I pushed the two boys back and laughed.

"Boys calm down." I said. I stood. "So you staying here?" I asked. "I have an extra bedroom and this comfy couch. Unless you would rather stay in a hotel." I laughed heading to my room. " I have to be at the BAU at like 8 so I need my four hours." I smiled.

"Thanks Clara." Sam smiled.

"Yupp." I said walking into my room.

"You take the other room. I'm good here." I heard Dean take the couch. I heard Sam walk to the other room down the hall and Dean sigh.

I laid down forcing my eyes closed. I needed sleep. So I lay there and try my best to sleep and when I do finally fall asleep my nightmares come screaming. The barking. The voices and now the yellow eyes. I call out for help and yell that I don't wanna die but the hounds tear into me like paper. I kick and yell but nothing happens. Then those eyes come closer. "Stay away." I know I say out loud. "Get back. Please stop.." I beg.

"Clara!" My name is called and I am shaken awake. I sit up quickly grabbing whoever is holding my shoulders. "It's okay it's me..." Dean's voice calms me. My eyes were tightly shut and I don't want to open them. I can't breathe and then I feel Dean sit next to me. "hey... come on open those eyes." he says softly. I open one at a time and realize I'm in my room and Dean is sitting next to me. "They're getting worse?" He asks me as he pulled himself closer.

I ran my hands through my hair and sigh as I sit against the head-board. "Yeah..." I said out of breath. "I stay three rooms away from my team in hotels so I don't wake them." I said looking down. "They think I'm crazy." I laughed.

"Well you are." Dean smiled. "Your friends with us for heaven's sake." He laughed.

"You know one of these days all this stuff is going to come back to bite me isn't it?" I asked.

"What is?" he asked.

"All the demons and monsters. I mean if Yellow eyes knows about me then it knows about them and if it knows about them who's to say it won't go after them..." I said all in one breath.

" I am." Dean said placing a hand on my shaky hands. "I promise that won't happen." he said.

" Dean." I looked at him. "Your only one man. You can't be responsible for five other people including watching my ass." I laughed.

"Why not?" He asked. " I mean I can try right?" He said.

"Yeah." I smiled gripping his hands tightly.

"Clara I am so sorry." He said looking away.

"I know." I smiled. He looked at me surprised. "I have a big mouth. If I was your I would have punched me to." I smiled. "Plus i wanted you to... just to get your anger out."

"I shouldn't have hit _you_ of all people." he sighed.

"Well I asked for it." I smiled. "So don't worry about it." he looked at me and sighed. "Dean seriously its forgotten." I nodded and placed my head on his shoulder.

It was quiet for a while and just as my eyes were starting to close Dean spoke again. "Why is it always us?" he asked. I lifted my head and shrugged. "Why can't we just have like a day off." He asked.

"Well you have a night off." I said looking on the brightside. "Well actually it's morning now..." I said looking at the clock and it was just about 2am.

" You know what I mean." he said.

"Well it's not like you have one of those lives." I said. "But you kinda have one of the best jobs." I smiled.

"How so?" He asked not thinking the same.

"Well you get to travel in that beautiful car of yours, which I am assuming is almost done." he smiled with nod. " You get to be around your family and you save people." I smiled. "Best job there is."

"Yeah I guess." He sighed. I placed my head back on his shoulder and sighed. "not exactly ideal though." He said.

"Ideal for what?" I asked.

"I don't know? Normal" he said.

"Dean none of us are normal. You know that. I thought you loved your job?" I asked.

"I do... but sometimes..."

"I know how you feel." I sighed. "But we all have good days and then there's the bad days... and we deal with them." I smiled up at him and he smirked. It was like irony. As soon as I finished my sentence my phone rang. "Seriously!" I sighed pushing myself up. I looked at my phone. "Spencer I swear..." I sighed. I clicked talk and held the phone close. "Spencer it's 2 in the morning." I said rubbing my eyes.

"Um.. You should get down to the hospital." He sounded shaky. That made me stand right away.

"Spencer.. why? Whats going on."I started pacing in front of my bed and Dean sat up and watched me.

"It's Penelope... she... she's been shot." he sight.

"What!" I yelled. "Shot? By who! How is she?" I asked all the questions at once.

" We don't know... she is in surgery." he sighed. "you should get down here." He sighed.

"Oh my God..." I covered my mouth looking at Dean. "Does Derek know?" I asked and Spencer didn't answer.

"He's not answer his phone. Just get down here and call him." Spencer said hanging up.

"Okay... I gotta go. You boys stay or go I don't care but I gotta..." I said looking around for my jeans.

"wooh! Clara whats wrong..." Dean asked standing.

"Um... a friend she is in surgery... someone shot her..." I said my eyes racing the room.

"Is she going to be okay?" Dean asked.

"I... I don't know..." I said grabbing my phone again and dialling Derek's number. "Come on pick up." He didn't. "Derek it's Clara. Jesus answer your freaking phone. It's Penelope." I said hanging up.

"Her boyfriend?" Dean asked as he followed me out of my room.

I laughed a bit. "No... But he should be there." I said looking at Dean and sighing. "Your right we can never catch a break." I sighed and he shook his head.

"I'm sorry." Dean said looking down.

"Me too." I said. He looked up and before he sad anything else I hugged him. He squeezed me back tightly. "bye." I said as I left my apartment with my purse, jeans and keys in my hands. The door shut behind me and then I realized. "oh.." I said opening the door again finding the spare key on my key chain. "Next time don't break in." I smiled and threw the key at him. He left off a chuckle and then I left.


	76. Chapter 76

I ran down the hall as fast as I could and when I reached the bottom of the stairs I took a deep breath. I ran to my car and took off. Before I went into the hospital I quickly changed into my jeans and the shirt I had. When I rushed in, Reid and JJ were sitting with their hands clasped together. Hotch was pacing with his arms crossed and Rossi leaned on the wall staring at the ground.

"What happened?" I said out of breath. They all looked at me and looked relieved.

"A neighbour heard a shot and found her on the front steps. She crashed in the ambulance and was rushed into the OR. We don't know anything else." Hotch said.

"Did the police catch the guy?" I asked.

"He was long gone before they got there." Hotch said.

"Damn it..." I said. "Well do we know if she is alright?" I asked in a panic.

"No." JJ shook her head. Her eyes full of fear.

"oh... Well I'm sure she will be just fine." I smiled and walked over to her and sat next to her. She seemed to be shaking nervous. I reached out and took a hold of her hand. He looked up and smiled at me. We all sat in quiet for a moment and then Morgan came rushing down the hall in the same panic as me.

"Where have you been? We've been calling." JJ said looking up to him.

"I was in church... my phone was off." He said. "What the hell happened?" he asked.

Just as Morgan ended his question a doctor came from behind sweaty and a bit relieved looking. "How is she?" Reid asked and Morgan looked to the doctor.

"The bullet missed her heart by 2 inches. Anymore over and she could have died... she is resting now and she will need to stay calm and still for the next few days." The doctor looked at all of us. "You can see her in the morning." He said.

"Thank you doctor." Hotch said shaking the man's hand. Then he turned to us. "Morgan and JJ stay here and make sure she isn't alone when she wakes up. Rossi and Reid go to the police station, offer our help and make sure we know what they know. Walsh you and me are going to the crime scene." he said looking at me like he had to make sure he could trust me with this.

"Got it." I said following him out of the door. I wanted to stay with JJ and Derek but I did as I was told this time. I was already on the outs with Hotch and if I put up a fight then well I would be fired for sure. I'm just glad the shirt I changed into was more professional looking then the one I did have on.

Hotch drove quickly with me sitting in the passenger's seat. He didn't say anything to me and I was fine with that. When we pulled into her apartment complex all I could think about was how happy she was last night. She was excited to go on a date. That's when my mind clicked.

"When did the neighbour hear the gun shot?" I asked Hotch as we got out of the car.

"Not sure. We'll ask her our own questions."

"Wooh! Hold up this is a crime scene..." A police officer came to stop us at the yellow tape.

"SSA Hotchner and Walsh." Hotch said as we flashed our badges.

"Let them through." A detective said from behind the tape.

"This is your show but we would just like to help." Hotch said.

"I don't care what protocols are you wanna help I'm all for it." he said looking puzzled. "Assailant walks into an enclosed apartment complex to steal a purse?" The detective said scratching his head. "What we thinking drugs?" he asked.

"No he knew her." I said walking past him getting closer to the stairs. Crime Scene Unit were surrounding a puddle of blood taking multiple pictures.

"What makes you say that?" The detective said.

I didn't answer his question right away I just looked at the red ground then around the enclosed complex. "Walsh?" Hotch asked expecting an answer.

"When did you say you heard the gun shot?" I walked over to the witness. She was an older women in her night-gown and robe shaking a bit. She looked away from me. " I need a time." I said looking at her.

"Around 11:30?" She said.

"I was here last night around 6ish. She went on about the date she was going on. I helped her pick out her outfit and then I left at 7." I said recalling the night before. "She said he was coming to get her at 8. Correct me if I'm wrong but I would say a regular date would end around 11?" I asked turning toward the detective and Hotch who just looked at me waiting to be impressed.

"You think it was the man she went out with?" The detective asked.

"Took her purse to make it look like a robbery." I said looking around. "and last person to be with her." I said as I walked around the CSU looking around for cameras. "No servallience." I said and they both looked up. "So until she wakes up and tells us... that is my theory." I said looking at Hotch who didn't seem to believe it.

"It's a better theory then what my guys have." The detective shrugged.

Just then Hotch's phone rang and he hesitated because he was staring me down. "Yeah?" he asked when he did answer. "Alright. We'll be there shortly." He said hanging up. "She's awake." He said.

"Good." I smiled. He headed for the gate and the SUV. I followed. "You don't think I'm right." I pointed out. He didn't even acknowledge I said anything. "Hotch?" I called to him before he got in. Then he looked up at me.

"What are you basing your theory on?" he asked me.

I shook my head. "An analysis for the FBI just happens to get shot going into her apartment in an enclosed complex." I said looking at him and waiting for him to say something. "That's not a coincidence." I shook my head. He nodded.

"No your right." He nodded getting into the SUV.

"How long am I gonna to be in the dog house?" I asked as he drove through traffic.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"You never question the others. If Rossi was with you before you would have agreed with anything he said." I answered. "Despite what you may believe I do know how to do my job." I added as he pulled into the parking lot. He didn't say anything. Hotch just got out and walked for the doors. I rolled my eyes as I followed him.

When we finally got to Penelope she was groggy and she looked like she was in pain. "Hey. How you feeling?" I asked.

"Like I've just been shot." She laughed. Morgan had a good grip on her hand and JJ stood next to her. "You were right..." She looked up to Morgan. " I shouldn't have trusted it."

"What do you mean?" Derek asked looking at her.

"That guy... Stupid to think he was interested in me..." She said as a tear rolled down her face.

"James?" I asked walking closer. "He was the one who did this?" I asked anger raising in my body. She nodded slightly. I looked back to Hotch. I gave him my best 'I told you so' look. He looked at me and sighed.

"We need a name." Hotch said.

"James Colby Baler." She said taking a deep breath.

"Walsh, Morgan you stay here." Hotch ordered. "Rossi and Reid are back at the BAU finding another analysis, JJ you and me can't let his get out." Hotch said. "Penelope don't worry we'll get him." he smiled as JJ and Hotch left. I sighed. Hotch didn't trust me.

I shook my head and walked over to Garcia. She looked so scared and hurt. "I don't think he liked my outfit." She laughed looking up to me.

I grabbed her hand and laughed a bit with her. I could feel the tears in my eyes. "Well I'm glad you held on." I smiled. She smiled a bit. "Can you tell us what happened?" I asked as Morgan looked to me and then her. She shook her head as she drank the water JJ had gotten for her before she left.

"Penelope I know it's gotta be hard to keep reliving this but..."Morgan stood next to her.

"I just don't know what else there is to remember." She said looking toward me.

"Well why don't we start with behaviour." I smiled. "No rush."

"Any details you can remember can tell us who he is." Derek smiled.

I tried to keep her calm. "Start when you first got to the restaurant. Was he nervous?" I asked.

She smirked a bit. "No.." She shook her head looking past us. "The opposite actually. He ordered us a bottle of wine... I said I only drank red and he said I would love it."

"So he was trying to impress you by showing he could take charge." Derek sat down in a chair next to Garcia.

"I guess so." She sighed with a sad smile.

"Was he doing anything... strange?" I asked. "Like playing with a chain or a watch?" I asked.

"Yeah he was wearing a fake Rolex."

"Really? Fake?" I asked.

She giggled a bit. "I know my knock offs..."

"He was playing with it so you would notice. Make you think it was real..." I said looking over to Morgan whose eyes didn't leave Penelope. Reid had mentioned to me eariler about his anger burst. He felt guilty and hell so did I. "Then what? He asked you about work I assume?" i asked.

"Yeah, asked me about the murder cases I worked. Then I asked him what he did. He went off on a rant about how he was a city attorney and how a few of his murder cases were thrown out based on technicalities or evidence... Then he said private practice made more sense. Then he talked about people getting away with murder because of other people's incompetence." She shrugged. "Then we toasted to karma." She said looking at me.

That's when it clicked. He lied to her from the start. I'm sure the name was fake too. I sighed and she looked at me in concern. "City attorney don't try murder cases... He knows enough to use legal terms but he isn't a working lawyer..." I sighed looking down. "Penelope sweetie I don't think _James_ told you anything real about him self." I sighed. "I'm sorry." I shook my head and she looked even more hurt.

"Eh it was too good to be true." She sighed. "Someone that good-looking..." She said looking down.

"Hey come on now." I said. "This had nothing to do with that... just wrong place wrong time.." I smiled. "Story of my life." I said sitting next to her on the bed. "Don't worry your strong you'll get through this and we will find James or whatever his name his." I smiled.

I could see the tears whelming in her eyes. "Thanks Clara." She said holding my hand tightly. "The bruises are going away." She added.

"Yeah. But that is all in the past now." I smiled.

"What does that mean?" Derek asked.

"Well after you left last night they came to see me." I smiled at Penelope.

"And you let that jerk in!?" He seemed angrier then he should be. "Clara come on..."

"Derek you don't understand." I said looking down. I felt Penelope's grip get tighter. "He said he was sorry and just like that... I was over it." I smiled up at Garcia.

I heard Derek sigh and groan in annoyance. "Derek be a doll and get me more water." She said shoving the cup at him.

"Why?"

"Because the girl who just got shot asked." She looked up. I could tell she just wanted him out for a minute.

"Okay then..." he said taking the cup and walking out.

"So?" She looked at me.

"So what?" I asked with a smile.

She shook her head with a smile. "When do we get to met the man you're so madly in love with?" She asked her smile growing.

"What?" I pushed away a bit. " I don't know what you are talking about." I laughed nervously.

"OH don't even try to lie to me." She giggled punching me slightly. "Seriously. Clara I know what it looks like when someone is in love. Why you chose to hide it?That is the real mystery." she said.

I sighed deeply. "Penelope you don't understand what these guys are like. They will never settle down, they'll never only have one girl in their life and they would rather sacrifice everything first." I said not bothering to argue anymore.

"So the tall geeky on or the one with the big shoulders?" She asked. I looked up in confusion. How did she know what they looked like. "Oh you carry that picture everywhere you go." She smiled. "Iv seen it from a distance. I get the idea." She winked. I turned to my purse and pulled out that picture. I looked at it for a second and remembered the say Bobby tried to take it. Sam wanted to go back to sleep and Dean hated having his picture taken but I begged. I handed it to her and pointed out Sam and Dean. "He is reckless, thick, annoying, sometimes down right stupid, he drinks to much and he always manages to turn a simple thing into a big fight." I said looking down as she stared at the picture. "But he is also one of _the_ bravest and sweetest man I have ever met." I smiled looking up to her.

"And you would do anything for him." She smiled. I nodded. I heard her giggle a bit.

"But he will never know it." I said looking away. "Not the way things work." I shrugged.

"Ugh! Why?" She asked annoyed that I wouldn't give her a straight answer.

"Because I love him to much to mess it all up." I smiled.

"Well he would be crazy not to love you." She said looking down.

"Hey you alright? I know getting shot wasn't what you had in mind for a first date but..."

"Everything happens for a reason." She smiled. Penelope was always looking up. Shortly after Morgan came back with more water. "Derek pass me that bag." She asked and he did. "I'm tired of looking like a dying patient." She said reaching for the make up. Derek laughed and we both sat and watched as she slowly tried to look like herself again.

The whole time I sat watching Penelope and Derek laugh as he held the mirror for her, I couldn't help but think about their friendship. He had gotten so bent out of shape when he found out it was her date that shot her. He had worried so much and hoped she would be okay. I could see how much Derek loved Penelope as a person and I smiled. I was fine living that way with Dean. The three of us had gotten to close to risk it. Plus I wasn't even sure if I did love him. Maybe I just rather have them around instead out fighting ghosts.


	77. Chapter 77

As the two of them laughed I stepped outside to make a phone call. Well two. First it was the boys. I called Dean but he didn't answer. So I called Sam.

"Agent Tyler." His voice said in a strong tone.

I laughed a bit. "Found yourself a case did we agent?" I asked and he laughed.

"Hey Clara. How's your friend?" He asked with a sigh.

"She'll be alright once we catch the guy." I said pacing back and forth. "So what you chasing?" I asked.

"Well I think it's a vamp but Dean doesn't think so." He said and I'm sure he rolled his eyes to. "Whatever he'll be proven wrong." He chuckled a bit. "I'm glad you called actually. After this hunt me and Dean are going after the demon. So if we don't call we aren't dropping you we are just..."

"You really think going after that thing now is wise?" I asked.

"After what you told us. Hell yeah!" He said in a defensive tone. "Look this thing has done enough damage to our family as it is. I am not about to let it go after you." Sam said. A smile came to face instantly. Sam always made my day ten times better. "And we'll be smart about it."

"I don't like it but... I don't really have a say in it to I?" I asked and Sam didn't answer. "Fine. Just Sam, please be careful."

"Jez you sound like a broken record. Aren't we always?" He laughed.

"Quiet the opposite actually." I laughed. "But I'm serious. Just don't do anything stupid. Stay together and I swear if you end up on the six o'clock news I'll be pissed." I said.

"Well the police don't always understand!" Sam said.

"Don't you worry. I got you two covered there."

"How?" He asked.

"Sammy don't ask questions." I shook my head. "Just don't... just don't get killed is all I'm trying to say." I said with a sigh and I knew he understood.

"Don't worry! We will be just fine." He laughed a bit. "Look I gotta go... Dean should be back with some info on our case... so you call if you need something." He said.

"I will." I smiled. "Bye Sam." I said and he hung up. I sighed as I clicked the phone closed. My next call was long over due.

"Yeah?" Bobby's voice came in a low angry tone.

"Hey Bobby, it's me." I smiled hearing his voice.

"Clara." He seemed relieved. "I haven't seen you in days... are you alright?" He asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. What about you?" I asked.

"Well you know putting one fire out at a time."

"Whose fire you putting out today?" I asked. There was a moment of silence. "Rufus?" I asked.

"The man is intolerable! He is so... dumb and just plain old stupid." He said in an exhale. I laughed a bit as he went off on a rant about Rufus. " He calls with so many problems. He always buries bodies in my back yard and then disappears for like a year! I just don't understand..." I could tell Bobby was tired. "Anyways what is going on in your world?" He asked.

"Well one of my friends... she was shot and we are trying to find him before he hurts anyone else." I said looking at the ground.

"Jesus. She going to be okay?" He asked.

"Yeah... but it was pretty touch and go for a minute..." My voice cracked.

"Clara..." Damn it. Bobby heard that. "Are you alright?" He asked and I couldn't answer. I was not biting my tongue to stop the tears. "Clara Darlin' everything alright?" He asked again.

"No..." I sighed feeling a tear fall. "Bobby I just don't know how long I can keep this up." I said falling against a wall and leaning back.

"Keep what up?" He asked.

"The brave face..."

"Why in God's name would you have to keep it up? Clara you have been through some intense crap the last few weeks... don't expect to keep that up for much longer." He sighed.

"But I have to... Bobby I can't just have a breakdown! I'll get fired."

"What is causing all this?" Bobby's concern was in his voice.

"Sam and Dean."

I heard him groan. "Why is it that every time something goes wrong they are in the middle of it?!" He sounded annoyed. "Like every time! The Winchester name is said way to often..."

"Oh come on Bobby. You love those two just as much as I do." I laughed.

"Yeah well would it kill them to take a day off!" He said.

"Probably." I laughed.

"What did those two idijits do this time?" he asked.

"They haven't done anything yet. But their going after the demon." I sighed and Bobby got quiet. " I'm just worried this whole thing has a bigger centre you know?" I asked.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because now I'm a part of it." I said.

"What!" He yelled. thing

"Yellow-eyes paid me a visit in florida a few days ago. Posing as a serial killer. Said I was part of the game and was a major piece."

"Jesus. Clara you really need better friends." He sighed.

" Yeah well that's not my problem. Just can you send me every thing you have on this demon. Anything John had, anything they asked you to look up and _anything_ they have mentioned. They aren't telling me much and I need to know what I am a part of." I said.

"Clara I don't think that is a good idea. Maybe being in the dark is safer..." He said sounding hesitant to give me anything on the demon.

"Yeah well I don't wanna live in the dark anymore Bobby." I said. "So everything you have on it, and the families it has messed with. Please."

"Alright... but Clara just be ready for what you could find." He said.

"What?" I asked.

"If you want to know then there are some things that you may not like..." he said.

I was starting to think Bobby was hiding something from me. I was about to ask when I saw Hotch walk in and head toward Penelope's room. I sighed. "Bobby please. Just everything you have on this thing... I can't be left out of the loop here." I said and I heard him groan. "Please Bobby I wan to help." I begged.

"Fine. Give me a few days." He said then hung up.

"There was an encrypted file on your computer." Hotch's words were the first I heard when I walked back into Penelope's room.

"What's going on?" I asked walking next to Penelope. She looked scared. Like he had just found a secret.

"Are you involved in something I need to know about?" He ignored me.

"No." She said quietly.

"Could this be connected in any way to whoever shot you." We all looked to Garcia. She looked nervous.

" I don't think so." She sighed

"I need the password." He demanded.

"This really necessary?" I asked and Hotch looked over with limited patients.

"Yes." He said coldly then turned back to Penelope. "The password." He asked again.

She looked him in the eye and took a second. "Gillmen street." She said with a shaky voice. Now I was wondering what was in the file.

"Thank you." Hotch smiled a bit.

"They don't honestly think Garcia is a security risk?" I asked.

"I don't know." Hotch shook his head. He really looked annoyed now he looked confused. "We have been ordered by Internal Affairs to stop working the case."

"What?" Morgan asked in a sigh. I shook my head with a laugh. Of course IA interveined to make Garcia look like the bad guy.

"and until this is cleared up. You've been suspended." Hotch said in a regretful voice. "I'm sorry." He said. Derek was going to say something. He looked pissed but Penelope just grabbed onto my hand.

"Right..." She said and Hotch looked at me then left. He walked out slowly and looked like he was helpless. As cold as Hotch could be sometimes he still cared about his team.

The room got quiet as I watched Hotch walk out of her room. "Well that's ridiculous." I shook my head.

That's when I heard Penelope start pulling on cords. I turned and she looked panicked and annoyed. "Wooh!" Derek tried to stop her.

" I need to get out of here." She said looking down at what she was pulling on.

"Oh okay baby just calm down. I'm gonna get this straighten out. I'm going to find out who did this to you. I don't give a damn what IA says." Derek sat next her holding her shoulders down. I stood at the end of the bed watching. I smiled a bit at his concern and love. "Right now you need to rest."

"But one of the last things I said before he shot me... was everything happens for a reason." She looked up to me with wide eyes. I sighed and nodded. "Derek if I lose faith in that then nothing in my life makes sense."

"I understand that..."

"No you don't." She begged him. Derek sighed.

* * *

"Penelope what are you so afraid of?" I asked as she sat up and stood.

"It's not what I'm afraid of Clara." She looked at me as I leaned on counter in her room. "It's just if I lose faith in my motto then how am I supposed to believe anything." She said.

"Why?" I asked.

"When my parents died I had a hard time adjusting. I went to school but then I went off the rails for a bit. Dropped out of Cal-Tech. But I kept teaching myself code." She sighed as she paced the room. "It was like the one thing that kept me together." She smiled.

"You taught yourself to do all that computer stuff?" I smiled and she nodded. "Impressive." I smiled as Derek walked over and leaned next to me.

"Until I dug to deep. I ended up on a list." She sighed.

"A list?" Derek asked.

"Yeah... you know they were watching me." She shrugged.

"But they saw you as an asset. So they offered you a job?" I asked.

"Yeah." She smiled.

"Garcia what's on the file?" Derek asked.

She paused and didn't want to look at him. Then she looked up but then down. "I'm required to keep a record of everything the team does." She said looking up to us finally. "And after my system got hacked and Elle got shot..." She paused. I remembered this story. A man went after their team and tried to kill one of the members. I heard Derek sigh. Then she looked at me. "Then new people started joining the team and I..." She sighed. "I just didn't want anyone else to get at you." She looked down.

That's when I knew she was still hiding something. "I'll go talk to the doctor.. see if he will clear you to leave." I smiled.

"How you going to do that?" Morgan asked.

"Trust me. I got this." I smiled and Garcia watched me leave. I walked down the hall and looked for the doctor that was attending to Penelope. "Excuse me?" I asked and he turned around from his desk. "Hi." I smiled. "SSA Clara Walsh..." I flashed him my badge. " Look I really need to get my friend out of here. Can you please clear her. She is not safe here."

"She still needs to recover." The doctor protested.

" I understand that but she is out of danger from her wounds right?" I asked.

"Yes but..."

"Great! Discharge her." I said.

"I can't.."

"Yes you can, and you will." I smiled standing straight trying to intimidate him. "She is better off at home protected but agents not nurses. I swear if she needs to come back I'll bring her myself but right now she needs to leave." I ordered.

The doctor looked me up and down. He looked back to Penelope's room where he saw her walking around and talking to Morgan. He sighed grabbing a chart. "She needs to take it easy. No stress and no sudden movements." He said signing off on the paper.

"Yes." I nodded. "Thank you very much." I smiled at him. He shook his head and walked off the other way. I smiled and turned around. I walked back to the room. I could hear Morgan and Garcia talking so I walked slower so they could keep talking. Then I heard my name.

"You need to back off a bit." Garcia warned.

"What?" Derek asked in a shock.

I heard her giggle. "Not on me. I love the attention. I mean on Clara." She said. "She isn't as dumb as you believe her to be." She paused. "She has had a rough few weeks. Sure she came back with a beat up face but you don't know the story and I can tell she will never tell us the story if you keep looking down on her." She said with a sigh.

"Penelope. She came back with a beat in face. Then she attacked a suspect."

"And you attacked a priest." She threw back at him. "All I am saying is lay off. She has her reasons and if we ever want to know her better we need to give her space."

"Space?" Morgan laughed. "She should get space from those so-called friends she has."

"Alright!" I interrupted and they both looked back at me. "Ready to go home?" I asked completely ignoring everything I just heard. They looked at each other and smiled at me. They were also trying to hide their conversation. "Morgan take her home. I'm going back to the BAU to see whats going on." I smiled.

"Yeah." Morgan nodded and we went out separate ways.


	78. Chapter 78

The next few hours were hectic. The team had found another analysis to go through everything Garcia had done on her computers. He had found a bunch of cases she had flagged. All the cases were unsolved and she flagged them to let the investigating officers know they BAU could help. Hotch and Rossi were upset that she had flagged so many cases. They all had the similar MO and the person who we were now looking for knew she was on to him. That's why he shot her. He had come back to her apartment the night she went home. He had tried to kill her again but Morgan was there to protect her. He had managed to kill a cop.

"He is getting to close." I said as Hotch and Rossi stood outside her apartment. "It's like he is one step ahead. Like he already knows." I said with a sigh.

"Walsh is right. Hotch maybe he is connected some other way." Rossi added. I wasn't the only one who noticed Hotch's short leash on me. Rossi had asked me about it but I couldn't tell him why. I didn't even know.

"Walsh go back to the BAU and see what Lynch has gotten from Garcia's files." Hotch ordered me. " We'll stay here and see what else she knows." He said.

"You got it." I said as I took off to the BAU. It felt weird that the team hadn't all gone to the BAU. Even though the unit still had other agents walking around on other cases it was like I was alone. When I got to the BAU I saw Kevin Lynch walking out of Garcia's office. "Kevin!" I called.

He looked to me and looked relieved. "Agent Walsh." She smiled as he walked toward me. "I may have found..."

"Lynch!" The IA agent's voice made him jump. "I need you over here now." He ordered. Kevin looked scared and nervous. He walked the other way toward the other agent and what looked like a police officer.

I went to Garcia's office and noticed there was still a file open. Kevin had left it open. I sat down and started looking through it. It was of all the murders. I sat for a good 30 minutes before my phone rang. "Walsh." I said as I clicked on a link that popped up as a picture. It was of Deputy Jason Clark Battle.

"Walsh! He is in the BAU." Morgan yelled from the phone.

"He's a cop." I said as I started to stand.

"Yeah and he is trying to cover his tracks!" Morgan yelled again. "Look Hotch and Rossi are already in their offices but he knows."

"What?" I asked.

"Clara we are watching it. Battle is standing next to the IA agent and he is looking around at Hotch and Rossi. He knows." I heard JJ's panicked voice. "Your closer."

"Okay Got it." I said. My heart was racing. It was like this case had started so randomly and now it all made sense and it was going to be over. I stood from the chair and opened the slowly. I couldn't hear anything. No voices and no phones. I pulled my gun and made my way down the hall.

"You think you are soo smart." I heard his deep voice. I rounded the corner and could see Battle from the glass doors. He had a gun on an agent and ten guns pointed at him. There was no way he was getting out of this alive. Then he smiled and laughed, and I took my aim. The glass door was not going to stop me. "You couldn't even catch me." He laughed at Rossi and Hotch.

I had perfect aim if he turned around. I could shot him and it would all be over. Then I remembered the picture. Jason Clark Battle, there was something about his face that look familiar. I was lost in thought when I saw him turn his head slowly. I took a breath and pulled my trigger.

The glass shattered and Battle fell to the ground. Perfect hit right in the forehead. I still held my stance as I looked at the dead body and the agents just staring at me. Hotch looked me in the eye and looked disappointed. I lowered my gun quickly after that. I let out my breath and slowly walked over to my desk. Everyone watched as I sat down placing my gun on the desk. I sighed and closed my eyes. It was over but that was the first time I had killed a human being. It didn't feel as good as it should have.

"So it's over?" Penelope asked a few hours later once the rest of the team showed up.

"Yeah it is." Morgan smiled at her. I still hadn't moved from my desk. I just stared at where the body had fallen. I should feel better than this. There was more talk but I heard none of it.

"Hey." Penelope's soft voice made me whip my head her way with wide eyes. "You okay there?" She asked.

I smiled as soon as she finished her sentence. "Yes." I said and she could tell I was lying.

"You sure... you don't..."

"I didn't even blink. I just shot." I said looking away from her and cutting her off. "He turned and I took my shot." I smiled.

"I know it must be difficult... you know killing a person."

I laughed. I was already starting to feel better. "Penelope. He wasn't a person. He was a monster. He killed other people and tried to kill you. There is no question, I would do it again." I smiled placing a hand on her. "I've always done what I had to, to protect my family and friends." The smiled on her face grew and she hurled her arms toward me and squeezed me.

* * *

**OK! Don't be mad at me because Clara shot Jason instead of JJ... I just thought it would bring the team closer because she is soooo willing to protect them! And i Want to ask a question! If anyone of the team members were to believe in the Supernatural and about Hunter... who do you think it would be? give me reasons because on of them has to know! and for when the team finally meet Sam and Dean... should it be awkward or kinda like a clash of people fighting like Dean and Derek bc he is so rattle at what Dean did... IDK! Help guys come on... review the shit out of this thanks! xo lov you alll**


	79. Chapter 79

Derek took Penelope home after the body was cleared. Hotch gave us all especially Penelope a few days off. JJ and Morgan asked if I wanted to go out and get a drink with them after but I didn't they left and I was the only one left at my desk. Rossi and Hotch were locked in their offices looking through more cases and I still had to fill out my paper work for kill Battle. It was hard but it wasn't like any other time I fired on a suspect. Only this is the first time I killed one.

Hotch had given me sideways glances like he was disappointed but he said nothing. Rossi watched me as I sat at my desk after and waited for me to speak but I didn't. I was waiting for Bobby to send me anything he had on Yellow-eyes. I just needed to be caught up. I had a feeling a package of papers and newspaper clippings would be waiting for my at my door. Bobby always said he needed a few days but he only needed a few hours.

"Agent Walsh?" A voice came from across my desk. I looked up and another agent with a parcel in his hands looked at me.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Package from a Mr. Singer." He said handing me the thick dark yellow package.

"Thank you." I smiled as he walked away. "Crazy old man..." I said siting down and opening the top. I took a quick look inside and noticed all the pictures and clippings. Probably shouldn't take it out here. So I grabbed my coat and my purse. I headed home. Again I needed to catch up.

I spent that whole night looking through the file. I had a bottle of red wine I picked up on the way home that was almost gone by dawn. The file was long and in detail. Somethings I recognized from my father's journal. Him and John had the same clippings of Mary's death. I guess my father was looking into the demon too. I found that strange because John always worked alone or with his boys. My dad had made small side notes in the front of his journal. They were just a pair of eyes with a swirl of yellow. Maybe he knew the demon too? That thought made me not want to keep reading. But I had to.

* * *

By morning I had gone through everything. I had finished the bottle of wine and I was still so lost. I knew this demon had killed Mary Winchester, and others along the way. I also now knew the demon leaves behind a child with special abilities. Sam and Dean had already found a few. Andrew Galiger seemed to be the first one to use his mind control for good. Max Miller however was using his telepathy to kill people. So far none of these people knew what the demon's plans are.

Ever since John died Sam talked about the demon having bigger plans for him and all the children like him. "great." I whispered to myself. I was in the middle of the crazy circus and I had no idea how to get out. I thought about calling Sam and Dean but I figured they would have bigger issues to worry about.

Now seeing as my job is hard enough I should have spent the three days I had off actually relaxing and not going over that file every waking minute. The amount of alcohol I went through was not healthy. My dad would be pissed if he saw how much I drank. I know I swore never to drink but I found it help me get to sleep and not have nightmare all the time. But when I did they were worse. The screaming, the barking and those eyes. They just wouldn't go away.

* * *

After the three days I had off it was back to the BAU. The cases we worked were no better then my nightmares. People died and there were montsers to blame. So I did my job and profiled each and everyone of them. Hotch still questioned me. I'm not even sure why. He seemed to talk to me less and give me tasks the locals could do. Rossi had talked to him many times but all Hotch would to is ignore the question and move on to more pressing matters. Fine, you want me to step back and just do as told. I will but I always said one more time and I'll confront him but he always managed to walk away. So I just stuck to doing my job. The team and I had never been closer. They saw what I would do for them and they now trusted me completely. Derek had gotten a bit more protective and Reid always asked me questions about my childhood. He was fasinated how children grew up with out parents. So in return for me answer his questions he had to answer all mine. I knew his mother was unstable and I had questions about it affected his choice in careers.

Penelope was recovering well and her and Kevin were now on steady dates. She was happy. JJ and her distant boyfriend seemed to be doing fine and Morgan talked constatly about all the lady friends he had. They had all opened up to me so much and I felt so guilty I had to lie to them. I couldn't tell them what really happened to my dad. And it's not like I could explain how I lived my life with men and guns, and the odd machete.

So I made up this elaborate lie._ One night a man broken into our house and killed my father. I was a witness but I never could identify him. It was too dark. My mother died giving birth to me and my brother so I never met her. My God-father Bobby took me in and made sure I got a good education. He taught me about cars and really thought I would help him with his business. Sam and Dean were my friends who I considered family. They taught me self defence and other handy things to know when I went to college. I went to college and never had a problem with classes or people. I was the person who stood in the back and listened. I called no attention to myself. I wanted to catch the man who killed my father but I knew I never would because he never killed again nor did I know what he looked like. Which led me to the BAU. I just wanted to help people with the hardest days of their lives._

They all believed it and thought I was great at my job. Which I was. I felt awful for lying but it was to protect them and keep me out of the nut house. Days turned to weeks and I still hadn't heard from the boys. I knew they were focusing on the job and I understood, but that just made me worry more. As cases got worse and time got slower my good memories were starting to fade and so was my smile. The more I read into the Yellow-eyed demon the more I obsessed about being involved. It drove me crazy and sometimes I didn't even sleep.

Every so often we would get a night off and I spent it in my apartment with my eyes glued to the papers and my laptop. Researching everything and everything about the omens that pointed to where the Yellow-eyed demon could have struck. Sam and Dean never called and I guess it was killing me to know how they were but I never called them. Until I got a random visit from an Agent Hendrickson.

* * *

We had just finished a case in Texas. A women was getting revenge for everything done wrong to her. There was a whole pile of bodies under her belt. This time she would pay. She was going away for the rest of her life. The plane was quiet as Reid and I played Poker. No one else played with us because we were so good. But little did Reid know, Dean and Bobby showed me how to hustle my way through anything. We tied. We were trying to see who could win more times but by the time we got back to Virginia it was even. I laughed at him as he went through the cards and tried to track how he lost.

We had all just arrived and the sun was just coming up. We were all tired. Hotch walked in front of us and stopped when he saw a man sitting on my desk. We all stopped behind him and wondered who it was. The dark tall man was sitting at my desk looking through a file I had left on the desk.

"Um.. excuse me? Can I help you?" I dropped my bags at his feet and he chuckled.

"Clara Walsh?" he asked not looking up.

"Yes." I said grabbing the file and closing it. He laughed again. "Agent Walsh. Actually." I corrected him in an annoyed voice. "What can I do for you?" I asked placing my hands at my hips as the team stood behind me.

He stood and was taller then me even in my heels I was wearing. "Agent Victor Hendrickson." He said pulling out his FBI badge and looking down at me. He was from Washington. Those agents always did think they were better. "I've been looking for you for a while." He smiled at me.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I'm here to arrest you." He smiled.

"What!" I and the team said at the same time. Hendrickson nodded and two agents came from behind and grabbed my arms. "Let go of me." I said. "Who the hell do you think you are! Let me go." I said as they snapped the cuffs on tightly.

"Clara Walsh you are under arrest for adding and abedding fugitives, and my favourite conspiracy to commit murder." He said with a confident smile.

"What! Your insane!" I said as the two agents threw handcuffs on my wrists.

"Make sure those things are tight. She is known to fight back." Hendrickson added.

"Agent I believe there has been some sort of mistake." Hotch finally stepped in. "Agent Walsh and my team have been in Texas on a case. What are your grounds?"

"My grounds?" Hendrickson laughed. "My grounds..." he looked over at me. "Are the Winchesters." He smiled. I tried to keep it together. I couldn't so any emotion but anger. "I'll be taking Miss Walsh down to the local police station where I will question her and then have her detained for her sentence." Hendrickson said as he pushed through my team.

The handcuffs were way to tight as the bigger agents pulled be behind Hendrickson. "Hotch do something." Morgan and JJ pleaded as I looked back.

" I can't. But don't worry that agent has nothing." Hotch said following along.

The two agents pulled me behind Hendrickson in and out of the elevator. They basically threw me into a black SUV and the driver took off. I noticed Hotch and Rossi ran out of the building and follow. I assume the rest of the team did as well but I didn't see them.

"You better have a damn good reason for this agent or I will bury you." I warned from the back.

* * *

__**Ok! That is all for tonight! I have way to many ideas going on for freaking season three and five! Like gez! well please review! Love you alll sooooo much thanks for reading xo**


	80. Chapter 80

Hendrickson said nothing. It was a ten minute drive and I was so angry. What the hell did the boys do now? out of all the stupid things they could have done. I was placed in a room with a chair and a table. I sat tapping my finger on the table. I waited I'm sure for about a half hour. Then the door flung open and three agents including Hendrickson waltzed in with boxes. They placed them on the table. One was labeled Walsh, and the other two were labeled Winchester. I took a deep breath when I saw their names. knew how this was going to go.

"Clara Walsh..." he said looking down at me.

"That's my name don't ware it out..." I rolled my eyes at him. I was not going to play nice! This jerk just arrested me in front of the whole BAU and my team. I already hated him. "How about you get down to the part were you threaten me and I still say nothing." I smiled.

"Nothing?" he asked. "So your hiding something?" he asked.

"Nope." I shook my head with a coy smile.

"Really?" he asked. "So you have never heard of Sam and Dean Winchester?" he asked.

Well that was a great question. I rolled my eyes. "Nope." I smiled.

"Aw that's cute. Protecting your boyfriends." he laughed as he sat pulling a file from a box. He pulled out a blown up picture of Sam, Dean and me. It was from a year ago before they got hit by the transport. "So that isn't you?" he asked. I said nothing. "Sure looks like you and you three do look close." He said pointing me out in the picture.

"You've been following me?" I asked narrowing my eyes at him.

"So you do know them?" he asked. I said nothing. "Fine. Don't talk to me. Stay quiet and rot in prison with your friends. I was just trying to help you." He smiled as he reached into a Winchester box and pulled out a file threw it at me. He opened it to a few pictures. All of young women stabbed repeatedly.

"You think showing me dead girls is going to scare me?" I laughed.

"No. But maybe once you know who did that will scare you." He said slowly. I shook my head as I sat back. "Dean Winchester." He said with anger in his voice.

I laughed. "Okay sure." I said still laughing.

"It's true. Dean Winchester broken into these women's homes and killed them." Hendrickson shrugged. "Police even killed him." My heart sank. Hendrickson flipped through to find a picture that to an untrained eye was Dean laying on the ground dead. I shook my head. I should tell by the cut on his arm it wasn't Dean. I looked at the picture and noticed the burns around the cut. Shapeshifter.

"Well then. He's dead." I shrugged. "Why and I hear?" I said lifting my hands that were still cuffed tightly.

"Oh because of this..." He said picking out another file and throwing a picture at me. This time it was Of Sam and Dean. They were mug shots. " Those were taken, a few weeks ago in Baltimore. Apparently Dean Winchester is harder to kill than most serial killers."

I shook my head. "He isn't a serial killer." I said under my breath.

Hendrickson laughed. "Girls always stick up for the crazies." He shook his head. "Alright. This is what I know Clara. I know you and those boys are friends and I for a fact know you know where they are."

"How would I know?" I asked still trying to piss him off. Why hasn't Hotch or Rossi stepped in yet. Maybe the thought I was guilty. I was starting to get real tired of this.

"Because you are their life line. They call you more times than I have ever seen anyone call someone... more times than a son calls their mother." He said and I knew that was a jab at their mother. I just shook my head. "And I had the pleasure of having a conversation with Dean while he robbed a bank taking hostages and killing three people. You should have heard how mad he got when I talked about you." He smiled as another agent walked in with a recording machine. "Just listen for yourself."

* * *

_"This is special agent Hendrickson."His voice was clear. _

_"Yeah listen I'm not in the negotiating mood..." I hated hearing Dean's voice like that. Stressed and out of options._

_"Good. Me neither. It's my job to bring you in. Alive is a bonus but not necessary." I looked up to Hendrickson. That was harsh._

_"Oh kinda harsh for a federal agent don't you think?" Dean spoke. _

_"Well you're not the typical suspect are you Dean?" There was a paused. " I want you and Sam out here unarmed. Or we come in. Oh yeah I know about Sam too. Bonnie to your Clyde."_

_I knew that freaked Dean out. "Yeah well that's true." I just knew he was smiling. " But how did you know we were here?" _

_"Go screw yourself that's how." Hendrickson was tired of dancing around. "It's become my job to know about you Dean. I've been looking for you for weeks now. I know about the murder in St. Louis, I know about the Houdini acted you pulled in Baltimore. I know about the desiccation and the thefts. I know about your Dad." That was a mistake. I looked up to Hendrickson who just smiled down at me. _

_"You don't know crap about my dad." His voice was angry and now so was I. _

_"Ex marine. Raised his kids on the road, cheap hotels, backward cabin. Real survivalist type." _

"Man you are so dumb." I said and Hendrickson leaned in.

"Oh it gets better."

_"I just can't get handle on what type of wacko he was." And that's when I knew Dean would hang up._

_"You got no right talking about my dad like that." Dean said. " he was a hero." His voice full of pain and pride. _

_"Oh sorry did that make you mad? Well get this..." Hendrickson was just trying to get Dean to snap now. " I also know about the pretty little FBI agent you got looking out for you and your brother."_

"Aw that's so sweet. You think I'm pretty." I smiled at the paused again just pissing Hendrickson off more. He did look pissed. Then I waited for Dean's response.

_He was quiet. "Don't you even." Was all he said. _

_Hendrickson laughed. " You do whatever you want and she hides it. But you see she isn't as good as she thinks she is. because I know where she is. And I'm going to put her away for a long long time. Clara is just as crazy as you two are. Monster like you."_

_"You shut your mouth." Dean's voice full of anger now. " She has nothing to do with this! Leave her be." Dean warned. _

_"What you going to do about it?" Hendrickson laughed. "She look real good behind bars. I can see it. In fact once I get you and Sam she is next." _

_"I swear leave her be! She has nothing to do with this. If I find out you went after her I will..."_

_"Will what? Kill me too?" Hendrickson laughed. "You got one hour to make a decision or we come through those doors full automatic. And if you think I'm kidding about Clara. Well try me." Then he hung up. _

* * *

That was the end of the recording and Hendrickson looked at me. "See that. I keep my word." He smiled.

"And this gets you where?" I asked.

"See I know he cares and I bet if you called him and told him where you were he would come running."

"And what makes you think I would call him?"

"Because if you don't you're going to jail." Hendrickson slammed his hands on the table trying to scare me but I didn't even jump. I could tell that threw him off.

"You think I'm scared of your threats agent? I'm the one who studies behaviour. And just by watching you I know you have nothing but that tape and a few pictures against me." I smiled. "So let me go or I will get a hold of your supervisors and get your ass fired." I said leaning forward. "You're the one who is scared. You can't catch Sam and Dean. And you never will. Because if there is one thing I know for a fact is that they don't belong behind bars. They are heroes." I said wanting to spit at him.

"You think this is a game!" He yelled. " People are dead!" I said nothing. "They got you brainwashed to? Or did John and your Daddy do that." I whipped my gaze to him. "Wooh. If looks could kill." He smiled. "But I bet they do."

"Shut up." I shook my head. "You have no idea what..."

" Oh no! I know exactly what I am talking about! So... let me ask again...WHERE ARE SAM AND DEAN?!" He yelled.

"That is enough agent!" Hotch's voice finally broke through. He was standing at the door looking down at him. "I would like a minute with Agent Walsh."

"Why?"

"As her lawyer I have the right to speak to my client with out anyone else listening in." Hotch said firmly. "So I advise you to leave now or _I_ will called your superiors." He warned.

Hendrickson took the hint and left. The boxes still placed on the table with mine and the boys names on them. "You care to explain this?" Hotch asked me as he stood across from the table. I thought he was here to rescue me in a sense not question me.

"I can't." I said sitting forward and up right.

"Really? Well you should really come up with some sort of story." He said looking down at me. "I made it perfectly clear that if you made me regret hiring you, it would be over." he said.

"Wait... You think I'm guilty?" I asked looking up with shock and hurt.

"Unless you can..."

"Woooh!" I stood up. "You think I did all this and I am hiding my friends. Why don't you trust me?" I asked. He could sense the hurt because his eyes softened a bit. "If Morgan or Reid were in my place you would go to the wall fighting for them... why is it different for me?" I asked.

"Hendrickson has evidence."

"All he has is a theory and one card to play." I said.

"One card?" Hotch asked looking in the boxes. " I think he has more than that!" He said sturnly.

I laughed. "Oh you know what. I don't have to explain my self to you. I thought you came in here to help me but you are on his side."

"There are no sides. Just the law and those who break it."

"No Hotch there are sides." I shook my head. "And I'm on their side. So fine. Hendrickson can throw me in jail for all I care."

"Why would you throw your life away for two murderers!" Hotch finally yelled. Hotch always got angry but he never yelled.

"They are not murderers!" I yelled back. "They are my family. And you have no say in this." I said sitting back down.

"Walsh this is crazy. You are a good profiler! Don't throw your life away because of these two."

I shook my head with a laugh. " You don't get it. Arron they haven't done anything wrong! Someone else killed those people. Dean and Sam just have terrible timing." I shook my head. He was quiet. "I would gladly throw away my life for those two any day. They are all I have and I'll die protecting them." I said.

"That's ridiculous."

"Maybe." I said back. "But you have a brother right? And a wife?" I asked. "Tell me is there anything you _wouldn't_ do for them?" I asked. He was quiet and looked away. " There's your answer." I said. "Now please just go. I don't need your help." I said. He just stood there staring at me. I looked at the picture of Dean holding a gun to an older mans head. They had done what I asked them not to do... ending up on the 6 o'clock news. I shook my head. There was a reason behind this. Then I noticed Hotch still standing. "I said go." I ordered looking up. "Your not here to help me so save your breath." I turned away in my chair.

"Alright I'm done waiting." Hendrickson burst in. "Tell me where they are or I will put your sorry ass in jail."

"What evidence do you have to link Clara with these two recently." Hotch surprisingly stood up to him.

"Phone records." Hendrickson fired back. I sat and said nothing.

"That is all?" Hotch asked.

Hendrickson laughed. "I see what you are trying to do. She knows where they are."

"She has already told you she has no idea where the Winchesters are." Hotch said. "And that answer is not going to change by keeping her locked up." Hotch said. I looked down at my wrists and noticed how red they were... Hendrickson had gotten his agents to tighten them to the point the metal cut my skin. I was bleeding and the longer they stayed on the more likely a scar would be left behind. "So either put her in jail now or let her go. Because you and I both know, no jury or judge is going to put an FBI agent in jail without substantial evidence." Oh now Hotch was sticking up for me? What the hell.

Hendrickson looked between me and Hotch. I could tell Hotch had gotten to him. He sighed and walked over with the key. He saw the little drops of blood dripping from my wrists and chose to ignore it. I grabbed my wrists as soon as he let them free to hide the cuts.

"Come after a member of my team again agent you better have more sufficient evidence or your career is over." Hotch warned as he stepped behind me and walked me out.

"Don't think I won't be watching you Clara." Hendrickson called out.

"Don't think I won't expect it." I called back as Hotch just about pushed me out of the interrogation room and led me outside. Hotch was rushing me outside and when we finally got outside I took a step away from him. He looked at me and crossed his arms.

"Walsh lately you have been reckless and now this?" He asked.

"Reckless?" I asked shaking my head. "That's not true. I do as you order. I don't question. How is it my fault that you give me tasks the locals can do!" I asked with a huff. He was about to answer. " Yeah because you don't trust me." I rolled my eyes.

"Because I am concerned." he said and I turned and faced him. Concerned? Why? How? What? That is the look I gave him. Complete confusion. "When someone losses someone close to them they tend to go through a grieving process. You seemed to be stuck on anger." he said tilting his head. "You are great at your job but you carry more anger then the whole team put together." He offered shaking his head I just stared at him. "So this is your green light." He said looking at me and some trust forward. "But after this... next slip up I'm suspending you."

I couldn't believe it. Hotch was trusting me again. That was the first good news I have heard in a long time. "Thank you." I smiled.

"Get that taken care of and I'll see you on Monday." He said. It was Thursday. I guess that ment I had the weekend off. I just couldn't believe he was being so easy on me about this.

Wait. My brain was now over working. On one hand I wanted to know what made Hotch trust me. but on the other I had to get back to my apartment and get rid of all that stuff Bobby sent me. I had put the important stuff in the journal but the other stuff, like the police files and death records needed to be burned. No one can ever find all that. Or else I will end up in the nutt house.


	81. Chapter 81

Sam wanted Dean to come get him before they went after the Djinn. But of course Dean just went alone. It was better Sam stayed at the hotel on look out for police. They were still on the run. They had just broken out of prison. Dean was the one who should have stayed at the hotel but Dean was even more stubborn ever since he got that call from Hendrickson.

Dean had wondered when the cops would catch up to them. he just never thought Clara could be caught in the middle of all this. Maybe Hendrickson wouldn't go after her? Maybe it was a lie to get Dean to surrender.

Dean's mind was so distracted as he walked into that abandoned house. He only stopped just in time to try and fight off the Djinn that had watched him the whole time. The flash of blue was the last thing he saw before he blacked out.

The white noise of the TV woke Dean. He sat up quickly. He looked around the unfamiliar room. Then he felt someone move next to him. He looked down noticing first he wasn't hearing clothes then the naked brunette laying next to him. He looked her up and down.

Dean was freaked out no doubt but as the day went on more and more things started to make him look crazy. First it was his mom. She was alive and acted like she hadn't seen him in forever. Second was his girlfriend, Carmen. She was pretty and a nurse. Third one of the most disturbing things was him and Sam didn't get along. They didn't even talk outside of holidays. Sam had filled him in on how bad of a brother he had been. But just seeing his mom happy made everything a bit better.

Everything about his life had changed but that didn't make Dean forget about his old life. Sam and Jessica were happy and getting married. He was supposedly happy with Carmen and his Mom was alive. John passed away in his sleep which was better than the alternative.

Dean sat on the couch just before he and Carmen left looking around at the pictures of his family. All smiles and good memories. Then he noticed a picture in the back of a cabinet. He got up slowly with Sam, Jessica, and Carmen's eyes on him. They were all worried. He was acting so strange.

She was wearing a knee-length red dress, black heals, blonde hair and it was pinned to the side. She stood next to a younger version of Dean with a big smile as his arm wrapped around her. She was a few years younger but that was her. Clara. "Sam..." he said slowly picking up the picture. He had this bad feeling.

"Yeah?" Sam sighed walking over and when he noticed what Dean was holding his face fell and he looked away. "Dean put it down." He ordered.

"Why?" Dean asked.

Sam looked down at his brother with anger and pain. " Because I said so." He said taking the picture fo Dean and Clara and putting it back.

"Why is that hidden?" Dean asked looking to his brother and seeing the pain and anger. "Sam?"

"Dean this isn't funny anymore." He shook his head. "Stop playing dumb."

"Sam seriously?" Dean asked.

"Did you fall on your head or something?" Sam asked.

"Sam!" Mary called coming from the other room.

"What?" Sam said. " He is the one putting this act up." Sam shook his head.

"Mom what is he talking about?" Dean asked as Mary walked over to see the picture they were talking about.

"What are you talking about?" Jessica asked as her and Carmen joined the boys. Mary reached for the picture and smiled. "Who is that?" Carmen asked noticing the big eyes Dean had.

"Clara." Mary smiled. " She grew up just a few houses down. Sweet girl and so pretty." Mary smiled looking at the girls."

"Mom please don't.." Sam begged.

"Don't what?" Dean asked.

Mary took a deep breath before she spoke. "The three of them were good friends. John and her dad David were best friends too." She said looking at the picture. "This was taken just a few years ago. Her father was being honoured has a decorated war hero... she was so proud."

"was?" Carmen asked.

"She died last year." Those words were daggers in Dean's chest. He lost his footing and grabbed the wall.

"What happened?" Dean asked.

Sam whipped his head to him and Mary looked sad. "You don't remember?" She asked and Dean shook his head. "Well I guess you wouldn't... you were pretty banged up to.." She sighed. "You two were on your way home from dinner one night and a drunk driver ran you off the road." She sighed putting the picture down. "he had swerved into the other lane and hit you head on. You hit your head badly but Clara... you said she had taken her seat belt off for a second to reach her phone in the back." Tears came to Mary's eyes. " her dad was calling... and when you were hit she..."

"She what?" Dean asked.

"She went through the freaking window Dean! What do you think happened!" Sam yelled stepping away from his brother. "You were the one who found her half way down the road gasping for air. She should have died on impacted." Sam shook his head as he took Jessica's hand and walked out of the room. " I don't need to hear the rest of this." Jessica did but Sam had taken her to their room.

"She should have died on impact but she held on. She always was a fighter." Mary smiled putting the picture back in place. She saw the tears in Dean's eyes. "Oh hon it's okay. You tried. You tried to stop the bleeding but..."

"Oh God..." Carmen whispered grabbing Dean's arm.

"When the ambulance arrived she was on her last breath. Happened just a block from here and me and your father came running." Mary said taking Dean's hand. "You looked so scared but she just held onto you for her life. You were there for her... that's all that matters." Mary smiled.

"Well that explains it.." Carmen said as her and Dean made their way to the car. He hadn't said anything since Mary went to sleep. He was still processing.

"Explains what?" He asked as she drove.

"Why you were so wrecked when I met you..." She said crossing the street quickly.

"What?" Dean wasn't even listening.

Carmen laughed as she parked and they walked in side. "From the terror in your eye I can tell you cared for Clara even if you won't talk about it." She said. "More like loved her actually." Carmen laughed as she disapered into her room to change for her shift at the hospital.

Dean was so dazed he wasn't even listening. He kissed Carmen good night before she left and grabbed some beers. He sat and watched TV for most of the night until he flipped to the news and heard the anniversary of a plane crash. United-bertana flight 424.

"No..." Dean said sitting up remembering that flight.

"A candle light vigil for all those on the flight who lost their lives. All passengers including crew."

"No, I stopped that crash." Dean sat up and ran to the computer.

He had never spent so much time on a computer besides looking at porn. He went through every newspaper article about every single person Sam, John or he saved. They were all dead. Dean sat blinking at the screen and couldn't believe it. All the people he had tried so hard to save... all dead. He had to tell someone who would listen.

* * *

"All of them..." Dean stood in front of his father's grave. It was weird standing in front of a tombstone and not a pile of ashes. "Everyone you saved, everyone Sammy and I saved. All dead." He shook his head. "And there is this women that's haunting me. I don't know why?" He took a deep breath. "I don't know what the connection is... it's like my old life is coming after me or something." he said looking around the empty grave yard. " Like it doesn't want me to be happy. Course I know what you'd say." Dean shook his head. "Go hunt the Djinn. It put you here it could put you back. Your happiness for all those people's lives... No contest. Right?" He mocked his father. Then anger came and he couldn't help it. " But Why?! Why is it my job to save these people. Why do I have to be some kind of hero?" He sighed. "What about us? Mom not suppose to live and Sammy supposed to get married. Why do we have to sacrifice everything dad?" he asked. He tried so hard to stop the tears that were threatening to drop. When they did he wiped them away quickly. He dad wasn't going to answer him but he knew.

As Dean started to walk away from his father's tomb be noticed a man just a few rows back. He was on his knees placing some flowers down. Was that one of the people he hadn't saved? Dean thought. He was only standing for a second when the man stood and turned and noticed Dean looking his way.

The man squinted. "Dean?" The elderly man's voice cracked. How did that guy know his name? The man walked closer and when the dim lights shone on his face Dean almost fell to his knees. "Dean Winchester." The man smiled.

"David?" Dean had only seen Clara's father a few times and then after he died Clara had one picture she kept by her bed.

The man smiled. "How are you son?" David asked hugging Dean quickly.

"Alright I guess... but how about you?" Dean asked looking at the man he knew was dead.

"I'm good. Hey I'm sorry about your dad." He offered.

"Thanks.. I'm sorry about..." He couldn't even say it.

"Dean that was almost a year and a half ago. Your not still blaming yourself are you?" David asked noticing the way Dean looked over to his daughters stone.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "I hit my head and am having a heard time remembering things..." Dean said with a sigh.

"Well all you need to know is that she loved you and you couldn't have done anything differently." David smiled as he patted Dean's shoulder.

He began to leave when Dean turned. " She loved me?" He asked with more tears trying to fall.

David smiled. "She always said you never believed her. Always thought she was to good?" He asked and Dean shrugged. "Well stop thinking that way. She loved you and there was no one else she would have rather by her side." David nodded as he walked away.

Once David had walked away Dean turned to find Clara's stone. It was simple and had fresh flowers now laying beside her. He smiled. Clara Anna Walsh. Her name was even different. He shook his head and hated where he stood. "I'm sorry... I'll make it up to you." He smiled and he left. He needed to get back to his old life. The one where him and Sam were brothers for real and Clara was alive.


	82. Chapter 82

When I got home the door was still intact so that meant Hendrickson and his monkeys didn't come here. I took a sigh of relief. I looked around my apartment and shook my head. I was disappointed in myself. Empty wine bottles on the ground, papers with dead people sprawled everywhere and dirty dishes in the sink. I sighed as I headed to the bathroom to get bandages for my wrists. I wrapped white around them hoping it wouldn't turn red. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. I looked terrible. My dreams hadn't gone away and I was starting to think they never would. I sighed as I splashed water off my face erasing what little make up I had left on. I looked tired, skinny and beat up.

I walked to my room and changed out of my jeans and into sweat pants and a tank top. I threw my clothes into the laundry and pulled my hair back. That's when I heard the door open quickly the close. I froze for a second realizing I had left my gun out by the door.

"Clara?" Dean's worried voice called from the door.

I raced to my door and opened it to find him with his back to the door. " Hi..." I smiled. He smiled up and looked relived to see me. "You okay?" I asked walking toward him.

"Yeah." he smiled throwing his arms around me quickly.

"Not that I don't want you here... but um what the hell are you doing here?" I asked pushing away from him suddenly remembering the day I just had. I quickly put my hands behind my back to hide the still bleeding marks.

"Looking for you." He smiled. "The last hunt we were on.. kinda went sideways and um just need a place to collect my thoughts."

"Says the wanted murder and bank robber." I said taking a step back and crossing my arms. "One thing Dean. I asked you two not to end up on the news... the one thing I ask and..." I said sighing.

"That... wasn't my fault!" He said shrugging.

"Yeah I know." I said with a sigh. "What was it this time? Shifter?" I asked walking over to the table to cover up my mess.

"Yeah it was..." Dean trailed off as he looked around my place. "Clara you get a roommate?" he asked.

"No?" I said. walking past him with the bottle and putting them in the recycling.

"Well then who do all those belong to." he jumped in front of me before I had a chance to hide the bottles.

"No one." I said pushing past him and throwing them away. I walked past him again and collected all the papers.

"Are those cases?" he asked sitting on the couch looking through a few.

"No." I said taking the pages from him.

"Hey. I know that guy..." He said pointing to the newspaper from Maryland. "vengeful spirit." He said. "Wait... these are all our cases." He noticed quickly. "Clara why do you have all these?" he asked.

"Bobby sent them." I piled them all and then threw them in the recycling as well.

"why?" Dean was getting annoyed by my short answers. I was just burnt out and a bit angry at him.

I sighed throwing my head back. "Because I asked him to. Is that alright with you _officer_." I said rolling my eyes.

"Wooh... what is your deal?" he asked following me into the kitchen.

"Long day is all." I smiled up at him.

"Wow! Could you be more convincing!" he laughed. "Seriously Clara... what's the matter?"

I laughed at him. "I'm just tired. Long few days." I said as I walked back over to the couch and sat down. "So your sideways case?" I asked and just stood looking at me.

"First tell me what these are." he said walking over and grabbing my wrists. I didn't think he even noticed. "What the hell Clara?" He asked dropping my wrists.

"okay relax. I'm not some stupid suicidal teenager." I laughed as he sat next to me. Dean didn't laugh. "Just tell me about your hunt." I sighed.

"No. You first." He argued.

"Fine you don't wanna answer that question... well fine answer this... what the hell did you and Sam do?" I asked.

"Do? Nothing?" he said shaking his head.

"Really? You are wanted for murder in two states, bank robbery in one and I won't even mention the grave desecration." I shook my head. "Now I get the graves but um... who'd you kill?" I asked.

"No one! A shifter took my face." He sounded defensive.

"okay..." I nodded. I waited for him to go on.

"And we may have been arrested, and put in prison..."

"And you escaped." I finished his sentence. "Makes sense." I rolled my eyes.

"What does?" he asked.

"Why that dick of an agent arrested me." I said getting up and getting a glass of water.

"Oh you have got to be kidding..." he said to himself.

"Yeah he wasn't lying when he said he would come after me." Dean looked up. "Yeah he played the tape. Next time don't get so angry... makes it easier for agents to get what they want." I suggested and he didn't look amused. "I spent all day in that stupid interrogation room while he yelled at me... great guy." I said sarcastically as I sat down.

"What did he want?" Dean asked.

"What do you think!" I said. "Two convicts on the loose. He asked me at least thirty times where you were." I looked around for my phone. I dialled my favourite Chinese food place. I ordered from there so much the owner and I became friendly. He was an older man and he liked to flirt with his costumers. When ever I called he always asked me to marry him. I would smile and say of course.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked watching as I dialled the number.

"I haven't eaten in like a day and a half." I said just before Alan answered. "Hey Alan, it's Clara." I smiled.

"OH! Clara so good to hear from you." He laughed. "What can I get you?" He asked. "Same as always?" he asked.

"Yes please." I smiled.

"Alright be ten minutes." He said.

"Thank you." I hung up. I looked around and noticed it was just about 7. So I dialled the bakery just around the corner. When I ever had a bad day I always stopped by and bought something and that owner was always so friendly that he agreed now and again after he closed he would bring me something sweet. I loved when people were kind. "Hey Adam it's Clara."

"Clara how are you." I could hear the smile. He was only about 25 and just wanted to make something of himself.

"I'm alright, would you mind bringing me up something before you head home. You would be doing me a huge favour."

"Oh yes of course. Anything in mind?" he asked.

"You know exactly what I want." I said. There was only one thing I ever ordered.

"Cherry or Apple?" He giggled. I looked over to Dean who was just staring at me. He wanted to know what the hell I was doing.

"Cherry." I smiled.

"You got it. Headed out around 9... see you then."

"Thanks Adam." I smiled as I hung up. I threw my phone on the counter and looked over to Dean. " What were we talking about?" I asked. Just as he was about to say something there was a knock on the door. "Hold that thought." I smiled as I jumped up and walked to the door. I opened it to see Alan standing with two bags of food in his hands. "Hey." I smiled at him.

"Hello beautiful." He grinned. I handed him some money. "Oh no... what happened to your arms?" he asked noticing the bandages.

"Hazard of the job." I smiled taking the bags from him. "Come in I have something for you." I smiled as the older man walked in. For a second I had forgotten Dean was sitting on the couch.

"Who this?" Alan squinted his eyes at Dean. "Boyfriend?"

"Alan this is Dean." I said as I headed toward my room.

"Dean..." I heard Alan question.

* * *

Clara disappeared into her room and the old man stood in front of me just staring up. I smiled with him. " Dean..." he said my name. " You hunter to?" He asked and I as shocked at the question.

"Yeah." I didn't see the need to lie.

"Good. You treat my dear Clara kindly." He said shaking a finger at me. I didn't even get to answer before Clara came back with a small white box. She had a small smile as she walked over to the man. "What is this?" he asked.

"I felt bad burning your wife's necklace so I collected the melted gold and made an anti-hunt charm." She smiled as she handed the man the box. His eyes grew when he opened it. "She can still be with you...but this time she won't try to hurt you." She said as the man sighed.

"Thank you." He smiled as he hugged her. She hugged him back. Just before the man left he looked back to me and pointed. "Him?" He asked her. Her smile fell a bit as she looked down. Then she put on that fake smile I hate and looked over at me. Then back to Alan. She nodded slightly. Alan hummed to himself and kept looking at me. I looked between then both. What about me? The man smiled kindly at Clara and then made his way down the hall.

"What was that all about?" I asked as she closed the door and put the food on the table. She sat next to me as she handed me a box and a then started to eat as well. I just kept looking at her until she answered.

"About three months ago.." She paused to think. " Yeah three months. I walked into his restaurant late at night and heard him yell out. I went to see what his trouble was and there was a spirit with her fingers wrapped around his neck trying to kill him." She said as she sat back. "Stopped it and put his wife to rest. " She shrugged like it was no big deal. I just smiled at her. "been in love with me ever since." She giggled a bit as she ate.

We finished eating as she told me what happened with Hendrickson. I was so pissed that he had actually gone after her. I thought it was a bluff or something to scare me. He was a dick and I wanted to put him in the hospital for the cuts on Clara's wrists. I told her she was dumb to hide Sam and me from him but she came back with the whole family doesn't rat each other out. I listened to her talk about her boss. She complained he didn't trust her and she was one strike away from getting suspended.

Hunting with Sam everyday can get kind of routine and this was different. I loved listening to Clara complain, boast or just talk. I had forgotten what it was like to sit down and eat with someone, not just eat while driving. Plus to have Clara around now was just so much better. My mind kept skipping back to the Djinn's dream he put me in. How she had died and we couldn't see her, and most of all I couldn't even protect her. Things with Sam had started to get more complicated and with Clara it was just so simple. I didn't have to put on the brave face. I could say whatever I wanted. Which isn't something I was ever used to.

"So what about the Winchesters?" She asked sitting back. "I wanna know how the hell you get put in prison." She said crossing her arms.

"Well um..." I scratched the back of my head. She wasn't going to like the answer. "I got a call from a friend of dads that needed our help. He's one of the prison guards and something was killing the inmates. So... I called the police and reported that me and Sam were in town.."

She looked at me with big eyes. "Yeah... I'm the dumb one." She rolled her eyes. " You did all that for a hunt?" She asked. I kinda shrugged with a nod. "Wow... awesome." She laughed a bit. "Good to know you know what you're doing." She shook her head.

"People were dying. What else was I supposed to do?" I laughed as I helped her clean up the empty boxes of food.

"Criminals!" She corrected. "Animals... not people." She said throwing everything in her hands in the garbage and holding it open for me.

"People who deserve to rot in their cells not die." I corrected her. I walked back to the couch as she stood there.

"Yeah I guess your right." She sighed walking back over.

I nodded. " Anyways, it was a spirit of a nurse. Taking the evil to hell with her." He rolled his eyes. " That's how Sam put it." He laughed. "Then we escaped." I shrugged sitting back. "Been looking over our shoulders every way we turn... which is annoying, but eh." I shrugged.

"And the sideways case?" She asked sitting up and scooting closer. She crossed her legs and leaned forward resting her chin on her hand as she waited to hear that story.

"Oh come on...aren't you tired of hearing these stupid stories." I pushed.

"Never." She said in a deep voice blinking a few times.

I was about to open my mouth and tell her a lie when there was a knock on the door. She turned her finger up to me to wait. She jumped back up and answered the door. "Clara." The younger voice said.

"Hey Adam." She smiled.

"Got your pie for you." The boy said.

"Thank you very much." She said. "I owe you one." She said handing him some money and he blushed and walked away. She closed the door quickly and turned to me. "Want some?" She asked.

I looked at what she had and smiled. I looked at her and raised my eyes brows. " What do you think?" She laughed a bit.

"Okay go on with your story." She said as she walked into the kitchen.

"We were hunting a Djinn..." I started.

"Oh crap. This isn't going to be a fun story is it." She knew.

"Depends how you look at it." I said as she came back with two plates and pie for us both. "Ah your awesome." I smiled taking a bite. Best pie I have had in a while.

"I know." She beamed. "Now go on with the story." She smiled leaning in again.

* * *

**Ok so Thank you all sooo much for your imput! I love all your ideas now I just gotta figure out which one to use... I hope what ever choice I make won't piss anyone off :/ anyways I got another question for you... I have an idea when Dean and Clara will finally get together but I kinda wanna know what you think? Should it be soon or... idk you tell me? And should it be an awkward kinda thing or full of passion? because that i'm not sure of... anyways.. hope to hear from you lovely people! Thanks again! xo**


	83. Chapter 83

"The Djinn attacked me and made a wish come true." I sighed sitting forward not looking at her.

"What wish?" She asked.

"That my mom hadn't died. She was still alive and me and Sam didn't hunt." I just came right out and said it. There was no candy coating any of this. Plus she would know if I was lying. A small smiled came to my face. "I woke up in a strange room next to a girl. Her name was Carmen. We had been dating for long enough I guess." I shrugged. "We still lived in Lawrence. Sam lived in California, still studying law. You know normal life."

"That sounds nice." She added.

"It was." I smiled. "Dad died from a stroke and not by a demon and Sammy was getting married." He smiled and then looked down. " That's when it all went down hill." I said putting the plate down. "Sammy and me... we didn't get along. We barely spoke outside of holidays."

"That's awful..." She sighed pulling her knees up.

"You should have seen it Clara. Sam he was so happy, Jessica was so pretty." I looked over and found her smiling. "And mom... she was even more beautiful than I remember." I smiled and she did to.

"And Carmen?" She asked.

"What about her?" I asked.

"Well you said you two were dating. What was she like?" Clara asked.

"Um nice I guess. Hot but um..."I paused. I shouldn't have paused.

"What?" She asked dropping her knees and sitting straight.

"All the people we save... they were all dead." I sighed looking away. "But other things were different..." I sighed knowing I should tell her.

"Different how?" She asked. I didn't answer right away. "Am I in this version at all?" She asked and I sighed looking around trying avoid her.

"Your picture and headstone were." Was all I could manage to get out.

"oh..." She said quietly and she looked down with a sigh.

"But your dad... he was alive." I knew that would cheer her up. I was right. As soon as my sentence finished her eyes shot up and her smile came back.

"Really?" She asked. "Was he healthy? Happy?" She asked.

"Considering... yeah he was." I smiled.

"Considering what?" She asked. "Oh yeah... I'm dead." She laughed nervously.

"That's when I fought back...woke up from the nightmare. Killed the Djinn. End of story." I shrugged. I stood up quickly and brought our plates to the sinks.

"Something else happen?" She asked. I shook my head. " Are you lying?" She asked. I sighed as I walked back over.

"It's just the way you died..."

* * *

Well. This was different. Hearing about my death in a parallel universe. Didn't think that was possible. Dean looked so sad when we talked about the dream he was in. I just didn't expect the answer I got. Sure I should have been pleased but, I mean... I died.

"We were on our back to your place one night. You and your father lived just down the road. We were like 18 or 20." He shrugged. "David was calling you and you unbuckled your seatbelt to get the phone and before you could buckle it back up... a drunk driver swerved into my lane and..." He paused looking away from me. "The steering wheel stopped be from hitting my face.. but you. You went through the windshield." I felt this awful feeling. Like it was real but I had to remember it wasn't.

"I died when I hit the ground didn't I?" I asked.

"No exactly..." He said looking at the ground. "I climbed from the car and you were still alive. Chocking on your own blood but... still breathing." A small smile came up. "I tried my best to stop all the bleeding but I couldn't... you died just minutes before the ambulance got to you..." He sighed.

"You stayed with me?" I asked turning his shoulders. He nodded not looking at me. I smiled. "Well that's fine with me." And he looked over at me with surprise.

"Clara I watched you die."

"But at least you were there." I smiled. "Better than dying alone." I smirked noticing his mood change. "Plus how different would it really be without me." I laughed.

* * *

That sentence made my chest hurt. How could she even think of something like that. As soon as she finished her sentence I looked at her with shock. "very different." I corrected her. She looked to me with happy eyes. She was glad I said something. "Where would Sam and I turn when we screw up?" I laughed.

"Well Bobby just loves hearing that." She smiled nudging me with her shoulders. She was quiet for a second and then she looked away. "Djinn grant wishes, in a matter of speaking... so your wish was that your mom never died. Therefore you never went hunting." She paused. "If that's what happened then how was I even a part of the story?" She asked looking up at me in confusion. "I mean if John didn't know the things he did then my father and him were never friends, which still mean he would be dead... and me too..." her eyebrows went down. "How did I live down the street?" She asked.

I already didn't like this question. She was right. If my dad never went hunting then we shouldn't have been there when David got attacked. Which also means we never should have met and I shouldn't have been with her when she died. How was I supposed to explain I wished for us to still be together? I couldn't tell her, she would freak out. " I don't know." I just shrugged. "Maybe..."

"Don't lie..." She said looking at me.

"I don't know." I shook my head. " I mean on some level I guess part of the wish was that you were happy. But I..." I paused. She looked at me with more confusion. "It doesn't matter. You died, dad died and so did all those people. So lesson learned."

"Lesson?" She asked as I stood. I couldn't sit anymore.

"Yeah that my dad was right." She tilted her head. "What we do is necessary and when it comes down to it... my happiness means nothing compared to people's lives." I said shrugging. her face went from confused to anger within a second.

"What?" She asked. "Oh come on you don't really believe that do you?" she asked looking up with hopeful eyes. She wanted me to say I didn't but I did. I nodded with a shrug. "Jesus." She swore shaking her head. " Hendrickson was right. John did brainwashed you." She said and I looked at her.

"What?"

"He tough you that just because of your job you can't be happy?" She asked with narrow eyes.

"That's the just of it."

"Wow. That's crap." She shook her head again. "I feel like a freaking broken record around you and Sam." She sighed.

"Why?" I asked.

"Don't get yourself killed, don't get thrown in jail, Don't die, get out of hunting, you can have your own life, don't die, Don't die, and oh yeah don't die." She said looking up at me. She was so frustrated and I understood why. "Just because you are a hunter that doesn't mean you have to live like one. You can do what ever you want! John isn't around to tell you what to do anymore..."

"No but I can't just stop hunting when he died so I could go on and kill yellow eyes." I said looking down at her. She looked up at me surprised. " Yeah, took your father's idea. Made a deal." I said.

"What..." She trailed off.

"Yea so before you say I can do what ever I want... just don't." I shook my head with a smile. She was quiet for a second. Just stared at the ground. I walked back over and sat next to her. She still didn't move. "plus I rather this life from that one." I said trying to make her move.

"Why?" She asked with a cracked voice. "Not like this one is anything special." She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah but every now and again I save a person." I smiled and she looked over. "So it's not that bad." I shrugged. "May not be the hero my dad wanted but..."

"That's crap to." She said with a sweet smile. "I've watched you risk your life for people who you don't even know. You would put your life on the line before Sam even had to think about being hurt... Sure you may be wanted by the FBI but hey... all heroes run into trouble now and again." She said placing her hand on mine.

I couldn't anymore. There was no way I could hold back what I was already about to do. She believe in me more than anyone ever would or will. She believed I was a hero and made me believe it. So I took my chance. I had to know. So I placed my hand on hers and just as she was about to get up I pulled her back down. She looked at me with confusion. I pulled her arm forward and tucked my hand around her cheek. I pulled her closer. Closed my eyes and just hoped for the best. When my lips finally touched hers for the first time since I was 18 I expected to get shoved back or yelled at. I kissed her gently for a minute and when I started to pull away noticing she was shocked, she wrapped an arm around my neck and pulled me back into her.


	84. Chapter 84

OKAY! Did that just happen? Did he really just kiss me first?! My mind was racing as Dean pulled me closer. I was shocked at first and when he started to pull away I couldn't let him. I wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him back. I hear a small laugh come from him. I'm sure he could feel the smile on my face as our kiss deepened.

Wait... what was really happening? Was he just depressed or had he been drinking? He showed up a while ago so that can't be it. As his arms snaked around my waist and he leaned into me. I ran my hand through his hair as the other rested on his chest. Dean's lips were so soft and I didn't want him to stop.

Then a loud knock came from the door. We both pulled away and looked. I stood quickly and looked through the peep hole. "Shit..." I swore.

"What?" Dean asked as he stood.

* * *

The sound of the knock didn't sound inviting. Clara pulled away from me quickly and went to see who it was. My mind was still spinning. She didn't pull away from me, she didn't yell, she pulled me in for more. I stood when she swore. "What?" I asked and she rushed over to me grabbing my shirt and pulling me toward her room. "What are you do-" I was cut off by her hand shutting my mouth.

"Shh." She ordered with worry on her face. " Just be quiet." She ordered again and ran out the door. The knock came again. "Coming!" She called. I heard her open the door and who was at the door. " Derek." She sounded happy to see this guy. I stood at her bedroom door with my ear pressed against it.

" I came to see if you were alright." He sounded worried.

"Yea of course I am." She laughed.

I didn't need to hear anymore. This Derek was someone she needed to hide me from him. So he was either FBI or her boyfriend. I guess it wasn't that surprising. She was smart and beautiful... I was just to late. Plus what would I have to give her anyways. Not like I had much. I had enough of kidding my self so I quietly made my way to the window. The second level wasn't the highest I have climbed from. So I scaled down the building and when I hit the ground I look back up. I couldn't stay here. I needed to get back to Sam. So I turned and made my way back to the Impala down the street.

* * *

"No, I'm fine. I was just eating and was going to sleep soon." I explained to Derek. Just trying to get him out of here. " Early morning tomorrow." I smiled.

"Oh yeah that reminds me." he sighed. " Strauss wants to see you bright and early." He shrugged.

"Damn it." I sighed. "Okay..." I knew what she wanted. "I'm screwed aren't I?" I asked with a sigh.

Derek sighed. "If it helps we all defended you... even Hotch."

"Really?" My smile brightened a bit.

"Yeah so I wouldn't worry too much about it. But if I was you I would call Penelope." he smiled. "She has gone crazy."

I giggled a bit. "I will. Well seeing as I have an early morning I'll see ya tomorrow." I smiled as Derek headed for the door.

Derek turned before he left. He smiled and wrapped his arms around me. He hugged me tightly. Then he was gone. That wasn't like Derek but I guess it wasn't the craziest things that had happened. I closed the door quietly and then walked back to my room realizing Dean was still there.

I was about to say something when I opened the door but what I found made my smile vanish and my heart sink. The window was open and Dean was gone. "Asshole." I cursed him shaking my head. I had nothing else to say or think about. I didn't over think what happened. He ran. Clear and simple. After I closed the window I jumped in bed and did my best to sleep. I hadn't slept in a few days and maybe my exhaustion would put me to bed. I was wrong.

* * *

**For the love of god don't hate me! I'm sorry... but... I couldn't resist! Feel free to leave angry comments if necessary... Thanks for reading though. xo**


	85. Chapter 85

One hour. That's all the sleep I got. The dreams had just gotten very real and vivid. This time I woke up in a deserted town. Old houses, and dead trees everywhere. I called out for anyone to answer. All I got in return were the screams of Sam. I raced to find him but I couldn't. The yells were from every direction. I was running in circles then I was faced with yellow eyes again. But this time he didn't look like the serial killer he was in Florida. He was older and his eyes stayed yellow.

"Get away from me!" I yelled at him as I tried to run. But every time I turned he was in my way. "What do you want?" I asked as he smiled.

"Well what I originally wanted was your brother but... that didn't work out so I'll take Sam instead." He smiled.

"Please don't hurt him." I begged. I could still hear him calling out for help. "Please just take me instead and leave them alone..." I pleaded.

"Oh sweetheart." He chuckled. "I will take you... but in your own time. First I need Sam, then I can take you." He smiled. "See Sammy will be my general and you will be his right hand women."

"In what?" I asked. He talked as if a war was starting.

"The war of course." He smiled. I just looked at him confused. "Oh the boys didn't tell you did they?" He sighed. "Well Sammy and all the children like him are my soldiers...but right now I only need one." He smiled again. "And you're the one who gets to open the door." He sighed. "So you wait your turn."

"Just leave us alone." I ordered.

"Oh come on! Don't pretend you don't like my visits."

"Visits?" I asked.

"Yes Clara." He smiled. "I've been around more than you think. I was in Florida, you know that. I was in that hospital when John gave up his soul for Dean, how sweet." He rolled his eyes. "I was there when Jessica died... did it myself." I clenched my fists. "Oh and you know that night at Stanford? The night you put that guy in the hospital after he broke your ribs?" He giggled. "That was me to."

"Why? What did Sam, Dean or I do to deserve this?" I asked. He laughed. He wasn't going to answer that. "Fine. What do I gotta do to make you go away?" I asked standing up right.

"Your not the one who calls the shots around here." He said as he took a step closer to me and pushed me back.

I woke up out of breath and so confused. That seemed so real. The sun was not yet up and when I tried to get back to sleep the howling came back. Then there was screaming Sam. I couldn't handle it so I woke up and just sat on the couch drinking coffee to keep me awake.

* * *

When 7 came around I was ready to talk to Strauss. To be honest I wasn't in the right state of mind when I walked into her office. My phone had just started ringing and I couldn't answer it. I sat in her office waiting for her to come in. My phone rang on more time and when I saw who it was the IGNORE button was quickly uses. But then he called again. "Stop calling Dean." I whispered to myself.

"Agent Walsh." Strauss walked in and I stood quickly.

"Ma'am." I nodded as she rounded her desk and leaned forward, looking me up and down.

"Two weeks." Was all she said.

I sighed. "Yes Ma'am." I knew what she meant.

Then she straightened up. "That's it?" She asked. " No explanation?" She asked as I noticed from teh corner of my eye Hotch walk into her office. "No argument?" She asked.

"Honestly Ma'am. There isn't an explanation you would believe or like. And why argue when Hotch has already tried." I looked back to him. He looked concerned and confused. "I'll see you in two weeks." I smiled sadly at her.

Right then I felt like giving up. I was losing my job, Dean had run away from me, I hadn't even spoke to Sam in months and now I was on Hendrickson's list. I wouldn't have been surprised if my team didn't speak to me. As I walked out I knew Hotch had followed me.

"My office." He said quietly as he passed me. I stopped in my path and sighed. I walked slowly to his office and walked in and he was sitting at his desk. "Sit." He asked as I stood in front of the desk.

"I'm good thanks. Have to start my vacation." I smiled sarcastically. He sighed. "Look I know you tried. Thanks but it's okay." I smiled and he looked up. Then my phone went off again. I didn't even reach for it.

"Your phone has gone off since you walk in this morning." Hotch pointed out. I nodded. "what's going on with you?" He asked standing up.

"Nothing. Just need some time off apparently." I answered.

"How much sleep did you get last night?" he asked.

"About an hour." I saw no need to lie. "Look I don't need you to worry about me." I smiled. "I can do that on my own. I'll see you in two weeks." I said.

"Anyone who calls that much must need you or is in trouble." Hotch added just before I left. I shrugged with a small smile. My phone went off again.

I sighed as I went to my desk to grab my purse. When I walked out I sat for a minute in my car just looking at it. I smiled. Then my phone broke the quiet again. It was Dean. That was the 20th time he called me. What was wrong now.

* * *

I sighed. " What?" Was all I said.

"Have you seen Sam!?" He asked in a panick.

"No, thought he was with you?" I asked no emotion.

"He was... but then..." I could tell he was distracted.

"Dean." I snapped and he shut up. "Just tell me what happened?" I asked as I pulled out and drove quickly.

"We were at a dinner and he went in to get us some food. Then the radio was messing up. I look back and Sam is gone, everyone in the dinner is dead and there is sulfur by the door." He said all in one breath.

"Um... Okay well do have any idea where he could have gone."

"If I knew that do you think I would going out of my mind calling you and anyone who may have seen him!?" He snapped at me. It was undersatable but he had better watch his tone from now on. " Bobby is on his way, Ash is doing what he does.. and..." He sighed calming down a bit.

"Okay. I'm headed to the airport. I'll go see Ash and we'll do what we can. You and Bobby just search for..."

"Yeah omens... I know." he cut me off with a breath of relief.

"Alright. Ash will call you once we find something." I said I was about to hang up when I pulled into the airport.

"Clara?" Dean's voice sounded small. "I..."

"Just focus on finding Sammy, Dean." I didn't want to hear his thanks or his explanation. I hung up and ran into the building and got on the next plane which left in ten minutes. The flight was quick and as soon as I landed I stole a cab from someone and told them to get me to the Roadhouse within 30 mins and they would get a big tip. The driver got me there in 20 and I gave him the tip I promised. "ASH!" I called out when I stepped into the RoadHouse. There were still hunters sitting and drinking and they all looked at me.

"Clara?" Ellen asked from behind the bar.

"Hey Ellen. Where's Ash?" I asked.

"In the back doin' what he can." She explained.

"Great thanks." I smiled as I ran toward Ash's room. "Ash!" I knocked loudly on the door. He opened it quickly. "You got anything."

Ash grabbed my hand and pulled me into the room and locked the door behind me. "Yeah I got something..." He headed over his computers. I sat there for the next hour as Ash explained what he found. I couldn't even really follow because it sounded so crazy. And if someone asked me to tell them what Ash told me I would draw a blank.

"That is..." I started. "What about Sam..." I asked and Ash sighed. He rushed out of the door and headed to the phone next to the bar. I followed. "Ash?" I asked as he picked up the phone. He just shook his head.

* * *

"Ash! Come on man tell me you found something?" I asked as soon as my phone rang.

"Listen it's a big negitory for Sam... but I did find something..." He trailed off.

"What?" I asked running out of patience.

"Look I can't talk over this line... it's not safe but thi..." He paused. "sup?" he asked not particularly to me but someone passing I imagine. "This is huge... just get here." Ash said. "We gotta show you."

"We?" I asked.

"Yeah Clara and I. She showed up and I told her and now I wanna tell you so just hurry." Ash said as he hung up.

"Guess we're going to the Roadhouse." I turned to Bobby and he got in the car and I drove as quickly as I could. When we finally got there my heart and my mouth dropped at what I saw. "What the hell?" I asked to myself as I pulled up to where the Roadhouse used to be. Now it was just a smoldering pile of burnt wood. Bobby and I got out quickly.

"Oh my..." Bobby started as we looked around at the charred human remains.

"You see Ellen?" I asked.

"No... I don't see anyone." Bobby sighed.

I looked at a small pile of wood where I noticed what used to be an arm. There was a watch on his wrist and I knew it was Ash. " Damn it Ash..." I trailed off. Then I stood quickly realizing there was something... or someone missing. Then I saw the gold shimmer from under Ash's arm.

"What?" Bobby looked up. I slowly picked up what used to be a necklace with a star on it. Now it was just a small piece.

"Clara was with Ash..." I trailed off. "She was..." I couldn't even finish.

"Maybe she got out." Bobby said in a panic taking the section of necklace from me. "She must have... she did." I could tell Bobby didn't want to believe she was dead. Hell I didn't want to believe it.


	86. Chapter 86

Shortly after Ash hung up the phone he looked to me and then his watch. He looked nervous and edgy. "Ash? What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing. Just gotta tell Dean." He said with a sigh. "Ellen." Ash said and she turned. She smiled sweetly at me and placed a bottle of Jack Daniel's on the table. Ash took a big drink.

"Hey Ellen? Where's Jo?" I asked.

"Stubborn girl." She grunted. " Went of hunting on her own. Even after what happened with..." She paused.

"Happened with..." I tried to get her to go on.

"With those boys." She sighed. "She beat them to a hunt and used her as bait." She said sliding a man his drink.

"Seriously?" I asked as Ash handed me the bottle. I took a drink as well. "Well maybe she will learn her lesson when she is alone and runs into trouble."

"What?" Ellen looked over at me with wide fearful eyes.

"Oh.. I'm sorry. I didn't mean... She'll be fine." I nodded with a smile taking another drink.

"No your right." She sighed. "I meant to ask.. what are you even doing here? Don't you have other crazies to chase?" She asked with a laugh trying to change the subject.

"Got suspended." I said and she looked over at me. "Big boss didn't like me getting arrested." I shook my head.

"WHAT! Why?!" Ellen stepped closer asking.

"The boys are wanted in like four states!" I laughed. " Dean is a wanted serial killer, and Sam well he has his own record. So feds thought closest thing they got is me..." I rolled my eyes. " Handcuffed me and everything." I listed my wrists that still had the marks.

"Jesus... I hope you gave them hell for that." She laughed. " Sam and Dean know about this?" She asked.

"Dean does. I haven't seen Sam in a while. Nothing from either of them for almost two months, then I get arrested and Dean shows up." I shrug taking another drink.

"Peckable timing." Ellen laughed.

"That's what I said. Now all this... Why is it nothing ever seems simple with them anymore?" I asked and Ellen shook her head with a laugh. "Before they used to come around for Bobby's help with a freaking Wendigo but now... Demons just, everywhere." I shook my head. "Everything is just a mess." I said quietly.

Ellen laughed. "You know for such a smart girl you sure can be dumb."

"What?" I laughed.

"You ask questions you know the answer to. Plus I know that you wouldn't want it any other way." She said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"You love having those two around just as much as they love being around." She smiled.

"True... but they always come with a massive problem that usually leads no where good." I sighed.

"Yes but if things were different you would hate it." She smiled. "Always something to fix right?"

"Yeah..." I sighed.

Ellen smiled and turned to grab something but she sighed. "I gotta run and get some stuff. Ash, Clara don't let anyone steal anything."

"Yeah sure." Ash said. Ellen smiled to me and then was gone.

Me and Ash walked back to his room. I sat by the door as he paced. Dean and Bobby I'm sure were only a few hours away but my mind was going crazy. "Can demons invade dream?" I asked Ash and he stopped pacing.

"Why?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"Last night I had a weird dream... I was talking to the yellow-eyed demon." I said.

"What did he say?" Ash asked.

"I don't remember... something about getting Sam then me..." I drew a blank. The harder I tried to remember the more I forgot the dream. "Something about a war..." I was going to keep going until I hear a loud rumble come from the bar.

Ash and I went running and when we got there everyone was passed out and there were three men standing in the middle. Ash looked at me and took a step forward. He reached back for my hand. I wondered why until I saw the two men on the end had black eyes and the middle one had yellow-eyes.

"What do you want?" I asked from behind Ash.

"You know." He said loudly.

"Where's Sam?" I asked.

" I'll take you to him." He smiled.

"Your not taking anyone." Ash said. " So I suggest you move on or I will..." he was cut off. Yellow-eyes flung him across the room. "Clara run!" he yelled out.

I tried but I couldn't move. " Not so fast." He walked closer and took a hold of my neck.

"CLARA!" Ash yelled then everything went red, yellow, then black.


	87. Chapter 87

My ears were ringing. My eyes wouldn't open and I could barely let out a breath. "Hello?" I barely made a sound. I could hear voices. It was dark and everywhere hurt. Some parts were even burning. I had no idea where I was but I had a feeling it wasn't good.

"Ava!" I could hear people yelling.

"Hello!?" again I could barely talk. Who knows how long I have been here or where here is. So I found my ground and stood up slowly. It hurt and my leg was killing me as I stood. It was dark and the room I was in didn't seem to have a door. So I started to feel around for holes I could make bigger to climb out. I found a hole i could kick down then I heard the screaming. I kick as hard as I could and finally broke out into a deserted street.

I stood alone in the dark and dusty street. I looked around and noticed it was the same as my dream. I didn't hear screaming anymore and I didn't know what else to do. "Hello!" I yelled out as I limped around. I came under a dim lamp and looked at my self. The right side of my clothes had burn holes, part of my pant leg was missing and when I looked at my leg there was red marks and some ash dusted on me. I bent down to brush it off but it was painful and stuck to my skin. How the hell did that even happen. "Anyone!" I called out again.

I heard a snapping noise from a few houses away and walked as quickly as I could toward it. "It won't come back now that she is dead." I heard someone say.

"Hello? Is someone else here!" I called out and two men walked out of the house.

They both turned to me. " Clara?" Sam's voice asked as he quickly walked over to me. I smied.

"Sammy!" I almost yelled. I hugged him tightly.

"Jesus are you okay?" he asked. " What happened?"

"I.. I don't know. One minute I'm at the Roadhouse with Ash and the next..." I paused when I saw teh other man start to walk closer. "Sam... who's that?" I asked.

"Jake. He's one of the demon's children." He rolled his eyes. " You really need a hospital so we need to get out of here."

"No we Sam." Jake said and we both turned to look. "The demon said only one of us is getting out of here. I'm sorry Sam, I like you but... I can get out of here close to it and kill it."

"We both can. Just come with us..." Sam said as he slowly reached and pulled his knife and threw it to the ground. " Don't give into what it wants." Sam said putting his hands up. I could tell by the cold stare Jake was giving him this wasn't going to get well.

I started to take a step forward to protect Sam but Jake slowly put his bar down. "Sam..." I whispered. Jake was getting up slower and once he was half way up he made his move. He his Sam in the jaw and he went flying. Not back a few steps either, I mean like he got air and landed a whole 7 feet from us.

Jake turned to me and smiled. "I'm gonna finish with him first then we are going on a walk." He said.

"Really? Thanks but to thanks." I said as I threw a first and he caught my hand.

"You don't have a choice." He smiled twisting my arm making me cry out quickly. I fell to my knees and he kicked me back. I fell and Jake made his way to Sam. My ribs were cracked I could feel it. I couldn't get up. Jake and Sam were fighting and I couldn't help. Jake had just hit Sam in the back with a plank of wood and he fell. That's when found enough strength to get up. I crawled for a minute grabbing the bar that was on the ground. I pushed up from it and started limping toward Jake.

Sam was putting up a good fight until Jake got him in a head lock. Jake turned his head slightly and knew I was behind him. I took a swing but he ducked letting Sam go. He jumped around and faced me. He smiled and smashed his elbow then his shoulders into my already cracking ribs. I let out a fierce shriek of pain before I stumbled back. I couldn't breathe and with all I had left I lifted the bar and manged to hit him in the head. Sam quickly rushed to me and took the bar hitting Jake again and he fell to the ground half uncontentious.

I fell back on my butt and Sam stood over Jake. He still had the bar in his hand and he raised it again. "Sam.." I said quickly. He was breathing deeply and I feared once he killed Jake he could never go back. He dropped the bar and looked at me. I smiled holding my side. He leant down to me and put my arms around his shoulders. He lifted me up and helped me get up.

"SAM!" We both turned toward the voice. We both knew who it was. This was finally going to be over.

* * *

That scream made my stomach turn. Who else was with Sam? Was he hurt or did he just kill someone one. Right now all I could think was the worst. When I finally saw him my mood changed. He was carrying someone as he also held his shoulder. He looked pretty beat up but the other one looked worse. "Sam?!" I called out. Sam's smile grew.

"Dean." Sam called out making the person he had look up. That's when my heart skipped a beat again. She was burnt on one side and her mouth was bleeding but Clara was alive. Her smiled dropped a bit. Sam let her go slowly and walked forward. She just stopped and stood there. Then I saw another man come from behind her. She turned but was hit back.

" Sam! Watch out!"

* * *

Sam slowly let me go when he saw Dean. I stayed still not being able to move. Then I heard something behind me. I turned to look and all I got was Jake's arm across my chest pushing me back. I heard Dean yell out for Sam. I reached behind my belt and pulled out my gun. It was odd I still had it on me.

Jake made a run for it but not before I sat up popping off six rounds. One landing in his arm. Bobby chased after him. I leaned back for a second then I heard Dean's pleading. "Sammy. Its okay. Look your fine." I sat up slowly to see Sam just collapsing on to Dean. Dean's hand was on Sam's back covered in blood.

"Oh no..." I said to myself as I pushed onto my good leg and crawled my way.

"Sam! Stay with me." Dean asked. I saw where the wound was and my heart sank and broke again. "Come on you're gonna be fine. I'll take care of it. My job right take care of my pain in the ass little brother." He laughed a bit shaking Sam. "Sam!" He called out. Sam was slowly losing the ability to stay up. Then he fell completely back on his back. "SAM!" Dean's voice was full of anger, pain and guilt. He wasn't moving. "no." He denied He bent over trying to shake Sam. I pulled myself closer to him and he didn't even look up at me. "No... Sam..." His voice dropped and broke. Then his eyes grew in fear and started to tear. So did mine. I couldn't even hold them back.

I pulled myself over to Dean who was still hunched over. I couldn't even see. My tears wouldn't stop and my heart just ached for Dean. I had no idea what I was supposed to say. I opened my mouth but nothing. I could hear Dean sobbing quietly and that made me cry more. I slowly put my hand on his shoulder and he froze. He took a breath and then looked up to me. There aren't words to describe how heart breaking that look he gave me was. He was just so scared and sad. He slowly leaned into me and placed his head on my shoulder. I instantly pulled him in and wrapped my arms around him. I was trying to protect him but I had failed. one arm held on to me so tightly while the other wouldn't leave Sam's hands. He gasped for air as tears fell and there was absolutely nothing I could do. Out of the two of us why did Jake have to kill Sam.


	88. Chapter 88

Bobby helped Dean move same into one of the houses. I could barely walk myself. Dean hadn't said anything and Bobby waited till they placed same on an old mattress before he come to me. "I am so glad your alright." He said with big eyes as he pulled me in roughly for a hug.

"Yeah..." Was all I could say.

"You should go fix all those." he said handing me a bottle of vodka and some bandages. he looked at my leg and busted lip and sighed. I nodded and wondered up toward the stairs. Dean was sitting in the other room with Sam. I looked back and he looked to me. I just looked down and limped slowly up the stairs. It hurt but I had no choice. I couldn't stay down here and pour alcohol on my burns. I was going to yell out in pain eventually and Dean didn't need to hear it all. I found a room upstairs at the far end of the old house. I was careful not to fall through the floor. I sat in the corner and ripped my jeans just above the burns. The other side was ripped as well so I made them as even as I could.

My hands were shaking as I opened the bottle. First I took a drink of it then clenched my mouth shut closing my eyes. I should have just poured it all on and been done with it but I was slow and shaky. A few splashes in the wrong place were okay until I poured half the bottle in the right place. I hummed in pain at first but then I couldn't hold it back. I whined quietly then the last half I had to yell out in pain. It just burned so much.

* * *

Although she was trying to hide it for my sake, Clara was in so much pain. I could tell she was holding back her cries of pain as she wondered up the stairs. Then it was quiet for a second. I sat just staring at Sam's body trying to figure out what to do when I heard her yelp. It was more of a cry of pain then scream. I stood instinctively and waited. I could hear her say something softly but she didn't come down. I was so happy that she wasn't dead but that didn't matter right now. I had to bring Sam back.

* * *

After I wrapped the bandages around the burns I hoped they would heal and not leave marks. I had enough scars I didn't need one to remind me of Sam's death. I was still fuzzy on what had happened before I woke up but I knew something was very very wrong. I pulled my self up and left the empty vodka bottle behind. I cradled my left side where all the ribs were I'm sure shattered, as I walked down the stairs I could hear Bobby and Dean talking again.

It had been a few hours since I last saw Bobby. It took me a while to get the strength to get up again so when I came downstairs I didn't expect for him and Dean to be at each other. "Dean, don't you think it's time to burry Sam?" Bobby asked in a sympathetic voice. I stayed out of the room where Sam was laying. I just stood next to the door out of sight, and leaned on the wall.

"No." Dean said.

"We could maybe..."

"What torch his corpse. Not yet." Dean replied back. Bobby shouldn't be pushing this.

"I want you to come with me." He said.

"I'm not going anywhere." Dean just refused to have this conversation.

"Dean please." Bobby begged. He hadn't eaten in hours and hadn't talked much. Bobby was just worried.

"Why don't you cut me some slack." Dean snapped back.

"I just don't think you should be alone that's all." Bobby said forgetting I was here. "Plus I could use your help. Something big is going down. End of the world even.."

"THEN LET IT END!" Dean finally bursted and stood quickly knocking the chair over.

"You don't mean that." Bobby said back.

"You don't think so? huh? You don't think I've given enough." I couldn't stop Dean or Bobby from saying anything dumb because they just didn't care anymore. "Don't you think I've paid enough?" Dean asked. "I'm done with it." Dean said with truth. I knew he was done. "all of it. And if you know what good for you, you'd turn around and get the hell out of here." He warned Bobby. I shook my head this wasn't going to end good.

I pushed myself from the wall. I was going to limp my way over to stand in the middle of them but what good would that do? Nothing. So I decided to go into the room where Sam was. I hadn't seen him since Bobby and Dean carried him in hours ago. I sighed as I walked into the room. The tears instantly came back and I didn't have the need or power to stop them anymore.

"I said GO!" Dean yelled at Bobby and I jumped. I sat down on the floor next to Sam quickly. Then it was very quiet. "I'm sorry..." Was all Dean said before Bobby shut the door.

* * *

After Bobby left I looked over to Sam and noticed Clara had made her way down and sat next to him. Tears were just dripping but she didn't move. She was looking at Sam and fixing a strand of hair that had fallen onto his face. I walked slowly into the room but she didn't notice. She hadn't said one word to me.

A small smile broke through the tears. She even gave off a little laugh. "I remember when Jessica first talking about her amazing boyfriend Sam." She started in a low and shaky tone. "She said he was sweet, and she had never met anyone else like him." She paused as she was obviously choking on her tears. "I always dreaded the day she would want me to meet him. Because well the name made me think of you and no other Sam would be like you." She laughed a bit. "But you have no idea how happy I was that it was you in the restaurant that night." She smiled a bit but tears still fell. "Made me think things could go back to the way they were... when we were younger. Things we so much simpler." She looked down and out the broken window. "I should have killed Jake when I had the chance... instead of on the ground with crack ribs." She rolled her eyes. Was she seriously blaming this on herself!? "I'm sorry." She said in a broken up and sad tone. She then buried her head in her arms as she pulled her legs, on wrapped in bandages, up to her chin and just sank there for a second. She still didn't know I was there. I had no idea what to say to her.

We sat there for almost an hour before she looked up. "You shouldn't push him away. He's only looking out for you." She said over her shoulder but not looking at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Bobby. He was only trying to help you." She said looking back to Sam.

I sighed and looked down. Then I heard her sigh and grunt a bit. I looked up quickly and she practically falling over herself trying to get up. " Clara stop." I ordered as I got up.

She flung a hand back to stop me. "No. I'm fine." She said. She tried again to stand but she couldn't put presser on one leg and push up at the same time.

"Will you just..." I said then reached out for her arm gently and pulled her up. She didn't look at me. She kept her eyes down and her face away. She was trying to hide the tears and the pain for my sake but I knew she was hurting. I let her go and she limped away to the front door. I heard her close it and sit on the pouch outside.

* * *

I sat alone for a while before I could go back in. Seeing Sam like that was hard and I couldn't believe he was actually gone. I couldn't take it anymore being in this town so I got up as best I could and walked inside only to hear Dean talking.

"I just wanted you to be a kid. Just for a little while longer..." He sighed. " Always tried to protect you, keep you safe. It's always been my job. Dad didn't have to tell me. Just my responsibility You know?" he sighed with a laugh. I stood just behind the door. "It's like I had one job. One job... and screwed it up." His voice cracked and my tears started again. He was blaming it all on himself. I wanted to go and just hug him and tell him it was all going to be okay but I couldn't. "I blew it.. and for that I'm sorry." He took small shaky breaths. "But I guess that's what I do... you know let down the people I love." He paused. " I let dad down, I let Clara down..." he paused and I hated I was a source of his guilt. I shouldn't be. He in no way ever let me down. He never could. "And now I'm just supposed to let you down too?" He asked expecting a reply. " How can I? How I am I supposed to live with that. What am I supposed to do?" he asked his voice still breaking. "Sammy... what am I supposed to do?" He asked.

I waited behind the door and when I heard Dean get up I didn't move. He didn't make a sound but then I heard him walk toward the door and when he rounded the corner and saw me he just stared at me. His fists were balled tightly and his face full of anger. I looked up at him wondering what he was doing. He just walked over put a hand on my hip and kissed my forehead.

Then he made his way to the door. " Dean? What are you doing?" I asked but no answer. "Dean. Where are you..." I was cut off by the Impala's engine tearing out of the town. I turned back to the room where Sam had been and sat in the chair Dean was. "Oh Sam... what is he going to do now?" I asked.


	89. Chapter 89

**So it was brought to my attention that I wrote something a few chapters back that I didn't mean to... I wrote that Clara defend herself "No stupid suicidal teenager."... now you have to understand that I am in no way saying self harm is stupid or anything like that! I'm just writing as Clara... like she was tired and pissed off... So if I offended anyone I am terriably SORRY! I know that sounds a bit needy but I never mean to hurt anyones feelings or anything... and I know if people self harm it is a problem and I didn't mean to make it look like a joke!**

**For anyone who does this just know I think your a beautiful person and there are people who care out here... even strangers :)**

**Sorry had to... anyways here you go more for all you awesome people!**

* * *

I sat in that corner for a few hours with my knees pulled up to my chest. It hurt less for my ribs when I breathed. I was humming Hey Jude. It was giving me some relief but more or less I was trying not to look at Sam. I sighed. I was trying to remember everything and I just couldn't put it all together. One minute Ash was telling me something important and then I was watching Sam die. This was down right one of the worst days ever.

I sighed. "Come on Dean." I looked around as the sun was setting. What the hell was he doing!? I was so mad at him but there was no yelling or even speaking coming from me. Anything that happened before all this could wait until another time. The sound of gasping made me jump. I looked up and Sam was breathing! Like for real! I jumped to my feet quickly and he looked around quickly. "Sam!" I almost shrieked. He whipped his head to me and his smile grew but he was in pain I could tell.

"Clara?" He asked. I ran to him and crashed into him with a big hug. "Ouch..." he said and I let go also feeling the pain. He walked over to the broken mirror and lifted the back of his shirt to show the long scar that was stitched. He was still in pain but he was ALIVE!

"Sammy?" Dean's voice came from the door. I looked his way as he walked in and saw Sam. His smiled grew and a tear threaten to fall. He didn't look at me only Sam. "Thank God." he sighed. He didn't even wait till Sam caught his breath. He walked over and hugged Sam. I smiled. "I'm glad your alright." he smiled as they both sat down.

"Dean. What happened?" Sam asked and wanted the truth.

"Well what do you remember?" Dean asked.

"I saw you and Bobby... then just pain. Then you ran at me I heard gun shots and that's it..."

"Yeah that kid. Stabbed you in the back. You lost a lot of blood. It was touch and go for a minute..." Dean lied. I watched from the corner and just waited for Dean to explain where he had been.

"Dean you can't patch a wound that bad..." Sam poked a hole.

"Yeah Bobby and Clara could." He answered right away. Again Dean didn't look at me. Sam looked up to me and smiled. I smiled back. "Who was that kid?" Dean asked.

"Jake... did you get him?" Sam asked.

"No ran off into the woods..." Dean sighed.

"Not before I shot him in the arm." I smiled and they both looked up to me.

"You shot him?" Dean asked. "When were you going to tell us this?" He asked getting mad at me.

I looked at him and shook my head. "Seriously?" I asked him narrowing my eyes at him.

Dean looked down and back to Sam. "We gotta find him! And this time I will kill him." Sam said looking to me then his brother. He was pissed and tried to get up.

"Wooh... easy Van Dam." Dean joked. "You just woke up. Let's get you something to eat?" Dean asked with worry all over his face. "I'm starving." he smile.

I huffed in annoyance. Bobby had told him to eat and now he will. I rolled my eyes as they walked into what was left of the kitchen. I walked behind the boys and sat next to Sam he looked my way and noticed the way I walked. "Are you okay?" He asked me helping me to sit down.

"Yeah." I smiled. "Just a few broken or crack ribs no big deal." I shrugged sitting back in the chair. Sam looked to Dean but Dean never looked up. Sam spent the last half hour explaining what happened before Dean and Bobby came around. He included me but Dean didn't seem to care all that much.

"That's awful.. poor Andy." Dean ate his pizza.

"Yeah poor Andy." I rolled my eyes and huffed under my breath.

"Demon said he only wanted one of us to walk out alive. So why did me and Jake survive?" he asked. "_or_ why the demon didn't kill Clara right away and Jake left her alone."

"Left me alone?" I laughed. "Yeah..."

"What I mean is he didn't try to kill you. He said he would come back for you." Sam said.

"Well they left you for Dead." Dean said ignoring me. "I'm sure they thought it was over. So now that Yellow-eyes has Jake what is he going to do with him?" Dean asked.

" I don't know. What ever it is we gotta stop it." Sam said getting angry again.

"No you need your strength back first. We have time." Dean demanded. Sam was about to argue but saw no point.

"Did you call the Roadhouse? They know anything?" Sam asked and that's when I got a bad feeling. I said nothing until Dean looked away and sat down.

"Dean? What is it?" I asked but Dean didn't look at me.

"Roadhouse burned to the ground." Those were like daggers in my heart. "Ash is dead... probably a lot of other hunters..." He sighed. My heart sank and my eyes started watering again.

"Demons?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. We thinks it's because the demons found something..."

"What?" Sam asked and in that half a second my mind went through everything. I remembered everything and how my leg got burned.

"Me..." I said in a shaky tone as I stood and backed away from the table with my hand over my mouth.

"What?" Dean stood looking at me.

"Ash... is he really?" I asked as I cried more.

"Clara you're shaking..." Dean said walking over to me.

"The demons... oh God... It's my fault... those people... Ash..." I kept backing away from Dean.

"Clara what are you talking about?" Dean quickly grabbed my shoulders and shook me to get me to focus.

" I was there! I was with Ash and those hunters!" I yelled. "Before I woke up here the demons they came looking for me!" I yelled pushing Dean away. "Oh my God..." I trailed off. I couldn't breath. I ran my hands through my hair. " I.. I need some air..." I said pushing past Dean and out the door. I was running toward the end of the porch painfully as I cried. They were all dead and it was because I was there. How was I supposed to live with that!


	90. Chapter 90

I sat on the stairs of the house just outside for a half hour staring out onto the road. I was still staking and it was making my whole body hurt. It was like I was outside myself and all I could think about were all the people who died because I was there.

Ash was dead. One of the closest people to me was dead and it was all my fault. No one would ever convince me otherwise. Then there was Sam. How was he alive? Dean must have done something and the thing I was thinking I didn't even want to know.

"Clara?" My name was called but I didn't hear it. I couldn't hear anything but my heart beating a thousand miles a minute. "Clara?" Sam's hand touch my shoulder and I jumped away from his touch. I turned to fins both the boys staring at me with worry and confusion. "We are headed to Bobby's. Come on." Sam stepped closer. I said nothing as Sam let me in the back of the Impala.

The ride back to Bobby's was full of Sam and Dean arguing about what was going on. Sam had turned to ask me questions but my eyes were fixed on the road beside me. I didn't say a single word. Sam seemed worried and Dean well I bet he had too much on his mind to worry about me.

Dean pulled into Bobby's and they both got out of the car and I stayed put. They had both started walking before they noticed I was still just sitting there.

* * *

When I looked back to expect Clara behind me I was confused as to why she didn't get out of the car. When Sam and I looked back we both saw what we thought we never would see. Clara was completely broken. Her eyes were big and full of fear, she didn't speak and her body was beaten. "Go see what Bobby knows, I'll get her." I told Sam.

"She looks so sad..."

"Sam just go." I stopped him. He looked back at Clara before he went inside. I sighed before I started to walked toward her. She wasn't even blinking. She was just looking forward with her arms wrapped around her sides. I had no idea what I should say? Ash and Clara were really close and he always made her smile. Now who was going to do that? "Clara?" I said standing outside her door. She didn't move. I opened the door and sat next to her. "Clara?" She flinched at my hand reaching for her.

"Don't" She whispered. She didn't move but her mouth just barley did.

"Don't what?" I asked with a sigh.

"Don't tell me it's not my fault." She said looking at me. Her eyes were so sad and hollow. "I got Ash killed and who knows how many hunters." Her voice cracked. "And no matter how many times you or anyone else says it... it's my fault." Her eyes looked away from me. Her eyes shut so tightly, she was in pain as she slid away from me and out the other door. I watched for a minute as she tried to stand and limp her way to Bobby's door.

I got out of the car the same way she did and walked up behind her. I put an arm around her waist gently. She tried to push me away. "Would you just..." I argued back and she sighed. "Look I get that you blame yourself for Ash but there is a bigger picture." I tried to make it seem like she didn't have to blame it on herself. "Sam and I..."

She let out a small breath of a laugh. " You and Sam." She rolled her eyes. " Sam is not supposed to be here." She stopped walking and looked up to me. "So tell me how is Sam here?" She asked.

"Miracle?" I shrugged with a smile.

Clara shook her head and stepped away from me. "Fine don't tell me." She said walking away from me. I didn't follower her right away. How was I even supposed to tell her about the deal? She saw how mad I got when my dad made that deal for me. And how was she going to react when she was so mad at her own dad for making that deal for her when she was little. Either way she was going to be mad and right now she had enough to worry about. But on some level I knew she knew.

* * *

I walked in the house to find Sam and Bobby waiting for me. I took a seat in the corner away from them. They talked about what was going on. Then Dean and Bobby went outside. Sam was focused on the books in front of him and I was doing the same. Might as well make good use of myself.

I was reading something about demons when everything started to get shaky. I grabbed hold of the table and Sam looked up at me. "Clara?" He asked. My head started to pound and the room spun. My eyes shut tightly. My whole body went into a wave of pain. I yelled out in pain as I grabbed my sides.

"Clara. I need you to come now." I heard that low and evil voice. "You're the only one who can open it..." Then all I could hear was screaming.

"Clara!" Sam yelled. He rushed over and grabbed my shoulders. I was the one screaming. Images of dead bodies, black eyes and a star went flashing by. Then Jake and Yellow-eyes.

"What's going on!" I heard Bobby's voice call out.

"Hey! Clara!" Dean yelled but after his call everything went quiet and my eyes popped open. All I could see was a wall and a gun. Then my body twisted in pain and I fell to the ground in a ball. Everything then limb and black once I fell to the ground.

* * *

"Dean! Get her up." Bobby ordered and I rushed to her side. Clara had full on convulsed and shook. Her eyes wouldn't open and before they did she was screaming. She was scared and no one knew what was going on.

I bent down to here and scooped her up. She was breathing lightly and her face looked scared and painful. I laid her gently on the couch and Sam slipped a pillow under her. Bobby staid in the kitchen with Ellen. We had just found out she was alive when Clara started screaming.

"What the hell just happened?" I turned to Sam.

"I don't know..." He said quickly. "She was just reading then she slammed her hands on the table. Then she started shaking and her eyes closed. Then the screaming... is she going to be okay?" He asked in worry.

"How is she even alive!" Ellen yelled out from the kitchen. " She was with Ash!"

I sighed. To many problems at once. "Sam! NO!" Clara finally called out and sat up quickly. She was breathing heavily and panic on her face. I bent down to her and she looked at me. She then looked up to Sam and saw he was fine and she smiled.

"Clara?" I said softly and she looked at me. "What happened?" I asked.

"I saw..." She trailed off. "A circle... then a star..." She said looking past me. "Wait... Ash said something about a map..." She looked around.

"A map?" Ellen said walking to her and sitting next to her. Clara smiled. Ellen reached into her pocket and showed her a map.

Clara grabbed it and looked at it quickly. She acted like nothing else was going on. The only thing that mattered was that map. "You got a pen or something?" She asked Bobby and he threw her a Sharpie. "My dad used to tell me the story of Samuel Colt..."

"Like Samuel Colt... maker of _the_ Colt?" Sam asked and she nodded.

"He build a number of churches in Wyoming." She started marking X's. "Each connected by a rail road." She drew a circle around each of the five X's. "If Jake is anywhere I will bet my car he is here." She pointed in the middle of the circle. Then she drew lines connecting each of the X's into a star. "Now... what does that look like you y'all?" She smiled as she turned to the map to us.

"That's a devil's trap." Sam pointed out.

"Each of the railroads were made of iron." She pointed out. I still kept my eye on her. She seemed to calm all of a sudden.

"How did you see this?" I asked her

"I... I don't know.. just came to me I guess." She shrugged with a smile. "But he is here and we gotta stop him.. what ever he is doing." She said with wide eyes jumping to her feet.

"Wooh..." I stopped her. " You need to sit down." I ordered.

"No we need to..." She stopped. She bent over slightly grabbing her sides. "Dean... I..." She stopped looking up slowly. "help." She barley whispered before there was a flash of smoke. "Dean!" She called out for me and I reached out to grab her but... nothing was there to grab.

"Clara!" I called out once the smoke cleared. She was gone.

"Okay! What the hell!" Sam almost yelled.

"I don't know but we gotta stop Jake." Bobby pointed out. "Dean! let's go." I was frozen in my spot. She was right there! She was within arms reach and was gone. "Dean!" Bobby yelled from the door. I whipped my head toward him and everyone was already gone.

"What the hell?" I asked myself as I sighed and headed for the door. If there was any hope for Clara I prayed it was with Jake. Maybe she was with him and this time I could save her.


	91. Chapter 91

It was dark when I finally could feel ground again. "There you go Jakey! Now you can open the door for me and my army." I heard that evil low tone voice that made me shiver. I felt a hand around my arm as I was pushed.

"Her?" Jake's voice came.

I could finally see! I opened my eyes quickly and there he was. Yellow-eyes, and Jake just standing in front of each other. Jake had a tight hold on my arm. "Well thank you for finally joining us!" Yellow-eyes smiled.

"What do you want from me?" I asked through my teeth.

"Well you're the only one who can open the gate." He smiled. Then he looked up to Jake. "Only a decadent from Samuel Colt can open the door. Just so happens she is a very distant relative." He said. "So get her to open it and you'll have your freedom and your family and you'll be king." He smiled.

"I'm not opening anything." I said.

"Oh I think you will." Yellow-eyes smiled. "All she needs is persuasion."

Jake nodded as he pushed me in front of him and held the colt to my back. I knew it was loaded and honestly I didn't know if Jake would shoot or not. He had no trouble stabbing Sam in the back. He pushed me and pressed the gun hard to my back. I laughed. " You know your crazy right. All this will get you is killed." I said.

"Shut up and just keep walking or I will shoot you dead. Maybe join your friend Sam." He whispered in my ear. I wanted to hit him so bad. But he had one hell of a grip. It was like a brick. We came across a cemetery and I had no idea what to do. I could try to make a run for it. I could just get him to shoot me.

"Might as well shoot me now." I added as we got closer to a large crypt of sorts.

"Ya why's that?" he asked.

"Well one, there's no way I'm opening anything, and two you're gonna die either way." I laughed.

"Shut up." He said taking a step back and hitting me across the face. Again felt like a brick.

It was quiet for a minute as I looked back up at him. "Howdy Jake." Four guns clicked and he pulled me in close with the gun to my head. His arm wrapped around my neck. I grabbed it from going to close. I smiled when I saw Sam, Dean, Bobby and Elle.

"wait... you were dead. I killed you." Jake shook out his grip getting tighter.

Sam looked beyond pissed. "Yeah? Well next time finish the job." Sam smiled.

"I did!" He yelled. "Cut clean through your spinal cord man." Sam's smile fell "You can't be alive." He said. Sam's eyes wandered to Dean who just looked down then back at Jake.

"Yeah well he isn't dead." I rolled my eyes.

"Okay..." Bobby started. "Just take it easy there son." he smiled kindly. He was basically telling me to shut up to. I wasn't helping.

"And if I don't?" Jake laughed the gun pressed tighter on my head.

"Wait and see!" Sam yelled and I looked over. I was held in front of Jake. If Sam shot he better have damn good aim. Because if not, he would hit me to.

"What you tough all of a sudden?" Jake shook his head. "You gonna kill me?" He asked. "Shoot me? You shoot your friend here." He pointed out. I just kept looking at Sam. He was so focused on shooting that I was scared he didn't see me.

"I got good aim." He said finally looking at me.

"You couldn't kill me before."

"I won't make that mistake again." Sam spat out.

"You know you don't have the best friends out there sweetheart." He said in my ear.

"Yeah why's that?" I asked. I looked around and Bobby and Ellen were the only ones I knew would put their guns down.

"Well see they all got their guns on me. But I could just shoot you."

"Well then go ahead." I smiled.

"Well I can't do that now can I?" He asked looking over at Ellen. "Which one should I kill first?" he asked me quietly. "Your choice?" he asked.

"How about yourself." I said with a smile looking at Bobby who looked so worried.

He moved his arm away from my neck and slid it down my body. I saw Dean shift in his spot as he watched the arm go down. He stopped around my waist. He then squeezed tightly. I yelled out in pain. "A few broken ribs there. That must hurt. Not as much as a few bullets." he warned. " Hey old man. Point that gun at your head." He said to Bobby. I had to watch as Bobby did as he was told.

"Don't." I begged. Jake just laughed. Bobby kept eyes contact with me while the gun shook in his hand. Dean and Ellen looked toward him and my eyes started to burn again."please..." I begged again.

" See Sam once you give there are all sorts of new tricks you can pull."

"Let him go." I ordered.

"Or what?" He asked. "How about everyone... expect the old man, put your guns down." Jake ordered.

"Just shoot him." Bobby whispered out.

Everyone started to put their guns down but Sam. Jake looked at Sam and so did I. "Sam... come on now..." Jake smiled. "I'll shoot her to."

"Sam he might as well. I'm not-" Jake squeezed my sides again and I fell to the ground in pain. I looked up quickly and noticed Dean was about to rush to me.

"Ah ha!" Jake pointed the gun back to my head. "See I need her just for one thing before I kill her." He smiled to Dean.

Dean's eyes grew wide and I looked up to him. Jake bent down to my level. "Open the damn door." He ordered.

"No..." I breathed out.

"Really?" He laughed. " Alright how about everyone puts their guns to their heads!" Jake yells.

"No!" I shrieked and jumped to my feet. Everyone just looked at me and I turned quickly to face Jake. "Fine... just let them go. Please."

Jake placed a hand on my shoulder and looked me deep in the eyes. "Open it." He said sliding the colt into my hand. For the next few minutes I had no control over what I was doing. Jake held the back of my neck tightly as he pushed me to the door. He took hold of my arm and jammed the Colt into the hole. Then one shot went off and I whipped my head to see Ellen and Dean attack Bobby. The shot went into the air. Then Jake pushed me in front of him and then three more shots went off.

"Sam!" Dean yelled out.

Jake pulled at my arm as he fell but I managed to keep my ground. There was the warm feel of blood all down my back and pain in left side just below my shoulder. Nothing else seemed that painful and it was getting hard to breathe. I turned to find Sam just in front of me and above Jake. He let off two more shots and Jake was Dead.

The smile on Sam's face was very unsettling. Dean walked up and looked at his brother. Bobby came rushing to me and so did Ellen. "Clara." Bobby grabbed my tightly.

"Bobby." I smiled. He put his arms around me and hugged me. Then when he pulled away he looked at his hands.

"Please tell me that's Jake's blood..." I sighed as I started to feel the hole in my back.

"I don't think so darlin'." Ellen said looking over to Sam who was just standing over Jake's body. I stepped forward and looked up at Sam.

He still had the gun in his hands. " I think he's dead Sam." I said reaching out and taking the gun from him. I must have smeared blood on him because he looked at me and then looked panicked. Dean looked up to me as well and rushed over feeling my back. "ouch..." I said pushing Dean away once he found the hole.

He laughed at me. "Are you okay?" he asked with sad and worried eyes.

"Well once I get the bullet out I should be fine." I shrugged trying to look over my back. Before I could see Dean grabbed me and held me tightly. I felt his deep and relieved sigh. I smiled and put my arms round him to.

Then there was a click sound. "oh no." Dean stepped away looking toward the crypt and the gun. "What did I just do?" I asked as Bobby started to get uneasy.

"Bobby what is it?" Ellen asked.

"It's hell." Bobby sounded panicked. Dean stepped up and took the Colt from the wall. Bobby turned to everyone as the wall shook. "Take cover now!" He cried and Dean grabbed my hand and pulled me into a run. He jumped over a tombstone and dragged me behind him. Once we landed me put his back to me and put one arm across protecting me from anything. The wall exploded and opened. Dozens of black smoke lines came streaming out.

"What the hell just happened?" Dean called out to Ellen and Bobby.

"That's a devil's gate! A damn door to hell!" She yelled out. Dean looked down to me and I slammed my head against the stone.

"Of course it was." I rolled my eyes.

"Come on! We gotta shut that gate!" Ellen yelled as her, Sam and Bobby ran to close it.

I got up slowly and Dean helped me up. He looked down at the Colt and checked how many bullets were in it. "The Demon gave this to Jake." he pointed out then looked at me. " Then maybe.." He paused his whole face consumed with anger.

Dean turned quickly and made sure I was behind him. He pointed his gun right at Yellow-eyes. I had no idea he was even there. Dean clicked the gun and was about to shoot when the demon took it. "Boy, shouldn't play with Daddy's guns!" He smiled.

Dean's eyes grew wide. Then the demon moved his head and sent Dean flying into a stone. I watched as Dean hit it head and fell to the ground. "Dean!" I yelled out and the demon just ignored me. I heard Sam call out for Dean as the demon smiled at me. Sam came running and before he could help the demon flung and stuck him on the tree.

"I'll get to you in a minute champ! But I'm proud of you. Knew you had it in your." The demon called out as he looked at Sam then me. He smiled at me and then twisted his hand. The pain of the bullet twisted and I yelled out in pain as I fell to the ground. That's when it got harder to breathe.

"Stop it." Dean cursed out. I looked up barely able to move and the Demon smacked Dean down and made him sit.

* * *

The Demon had me pinned to the ground against a tombstone. My head was pounding, Clara was moaning in pain, and Sam was stuck on a tree. I just stared at the Demon as he bent down with a smile.

"So Dean. I gotta thank you!" He smiled. "You see Demons can't resurrect people unless a deals been made." Why did he have to. I just wanted to kill the son of a bitch more and more. " I know reed tape, it'll make you nuts." He shook his head. "But thank's to you Sammy's back in rotation." He laughed and I just shook my head at him. Sam was hearing every word as was Clara. " I wasn't expecting that. In fact I'm glad. Liked him better than Jake anyhow." He smiled. " Ever heard the expression if a deal sounds to good o be true it probably is?" he asked.

"You call that deal good?" I smiled.

"Better one then your dad every got." He answered back. "And you never wondered why? I'm surprised actually. I mean you saw what your brother just did to Jake right? Hell he didn't even care he hit the girl." he laughed looking over to Clara who was on her back trying to get up in pain. "That was pretty cold. How certain are you, that what your brought back is one hundred percent pure Sam?" He asked with a laughed. "You of all people should know. What's dead should stay dead." he laughed as he slowly got up. "Anyways. Thank's a bunch. I knew I kept you alive for some reason. Until now anyway."

The demon was in the middle of pointing the Colt at me when Clara came jogging out of no where. She was standing in front of me between the gun and Yellow-eyes. "No." She said with on arm around her waist. She was barely standing on her own. What the hell was she doing.

The demon laughed. "What? You sacrificing yourself to honey?" He asked with a laugh.

"No... I just can't figure out why I'm alive. I mean, I have at least three broken ribs, the rest crushed, my leg is burnt like freaking bacon, and there is a bullet in my back getting closer and closer to my lungs." She smiled. "Now I've been around and someone with all those injuries should have stayed in bed and died a few minutes go... but yet I'm standing.. more or less." She laughed.

" You got a point?" The demon rolled his eyes.

"Well I figure you either need me." She smiled.

"And if I don't?" The demon asked and she laughed.

"Well then I guess you can kill me. Either way I'm stalling." She laughed with a shrugged.

I wanted to reach out and pull her away but I couldn't move. The demon smiled and got closer to her. The gun was just inches away from her chest and I could see in her face that her plan had gone a bit sideways. She looked down at the gun and sighed. She looked over to me slightly and just as the demon was about to pull the trigger she looked up and smiled.

I looked behind the demon to see my dad. He was coming up behind he demon and grabbed him. He was holding the black smoke as hard as he could and the body fell. Clara quickly walked over to the body and kicked me the gun. The smoke had gotten the best of my dad and he went flying back. I looked over to Clara as I grabbed the gun and she collapsed.

The smoke went back into the body it was possessing and stood up. He looked around and then realized he no longer had the gun. He looked to me and I smiled. I had waited 20 years to do this. I let off one shot and it landed right in his shoulder. He looked back at me as she started to light up and smoke out. Sam fell to the ground and the sound of the gate rang out. I pushed myself off the ground and Sam walked over to me. My dad stood up and walked over. He said nothing. He just put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. He smiled at me and Sam and nodded. Then he stepped back and was gone.


	92. Chapter 92

After the flash of light I turned to look for Clara. She wasn't where she was fallen. She had pushed herself against a stone. I rushed over to her and her eyes were shut tightly. "Clara?" I asked quietly putting a hand on her cheek. A small smile cracked and she sighed happily. "Clara?" I asked again trying to get her to open her eyes.

"You know..." She started. "I'm getting really tired of demons." She sighed.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah me too." I smiled and her eyes opened a bit. "Why don't we get you to a hospital."

She shook her head. " How am I supposed to explain this?" She laughed taking my hand as I helped her up.

"We could lie." Sam said walking over and putting an arm around her other side.

"That..." She took a deep breath. "That's a good idea." She smiled letting out a breath quickly. "But can we leave the part about me getting my ass kicked out of it." She laughed placing her head on my shoulder.

Her eyes started to close and I panicked. "Clara?" I asked shaking her. She sighed. "Just hold on okay?" I asked.

"Okay..."She barley said before her body went limp.

"Bobby, put her in the back. We'll get her to a hospital" Bobby ran over as did Ellen. Sam slowly let her go and we stood over the demon's body.

"Did I really shoot her?" Sam asked full of guilt. I just sighed and looked down at the dead demon that killed our mother and father. It was over.

* * *

Sam and I drove quickly to the nearest hospital. Two hours and Clara had not moved or said anything. I was starting to think she wasn't going to. Sam opened the door as I pulled her into my arms and carried her into the emergency department. It was the middle of the night and not many people were waiting.

"Please you gotta help us." Sam called out to a nurse. "She's hurt badly." he sounded more panicked then me. Three nurses came running with a bed.

"What happened?" One asked Sam I gently placed her on the stretcher they brought. "We just found her like this." Sam lied.

Once Clara was on the stretcher they started to wheel her away. Me and Sam followed until a man stopped us. " You have to wait outside. A doctor will find you when she is out of surgery." The man pushed me back.

It was a long night. So many demons escaped that gate but that could wait until we knew Clara was going to be okay. She would have done exactly the same. Sam was still mad at me because of the deal I made and he was certain he was going to get me out of it. I just had no idea how Clara was going to react if she did at all. I had sent Bobby and Ellen back to South Dakota to get started on all the demons that we had to face now. Bobby made me swear to call as soon as Clara was aright.

* * *

Agent Hotchner sat in his office late that night. The team had just gotten back from Miami and he was the last on the floor. He had so much going through his mind. His troubles at home, his team asking to many questions about Walsh and her suspension, Garcia digging into her life, and the fact it had only been three days. He had gotten no calls from her and he was curios as to why she didn't argue with Strauss.

Walsh was always the one to question authority. Sure it wasn't always a good thing but she never did unless she had a very good reason. The day Strauss suspended her she seemed drained and tired. He knew she had nightmares just by watching her sleep patterns while they were on cases.

Then there was Hendrickson. The man had arrested her and accused her of many things and she refused to give up the Winchester's. He had Garcia dig into their lives and all she found were their criminal records, and fake IDs. Then when Garcia found John Winchester's files he understood. Hotch had been hiding something from the team and Clara for a long time. He knew that every single on of the charges laid on Sam and Dean Winchester had an explanation that didn't include murder of a human.

He was just about out the door when the phone rang. He walked back over and found it was an Unknown Caller. "Agent Hotchner." he answered.

"Yeah hi." A deep and shaky voice came. " You don't know me but I'm a friend of Clara Walsh. I don't want you and your team to be worried but there was a bit of an accident and she is in bad shape."

"What happened?" Hotch asked.

" I... I'm not sure." he could tell the man was lying. "I just wanted you to know she is in safe hands and will be alright and back to you in no time." He sighed. Then before Hotch could say anything the man hung up.

Hotch hung up then called Rossi. " David. I got something to take care of. I'll meet you and the team when I can." Rossi didn't argue and that was it.

Hotch had a feeling he knew where Clara was and he needed to speak with who ever made that call.

* * *

Sam and I were getting impatient. I had called her boss and I didn't know what else to do. I was bouncing my legs and Sam looked over at me. " Dude. She'll be fine." he was hiding the guilt. It was all over his face. I knew he didn't mean to shoot Clara but it didn't matter. He was beating himself up about it.

"Yeah I know." I rolled my eyes. We had waited for a few hours before anyone came out.

"You're the two who brought Miss Walsh in right?" A young doctor came down the hall. "How do you know her?" He asked clicking his pen.

"We're friends." Sam answered. "How is she?" He asked.

"She is asleep right now but she should be fine." He sighed. "But how did she end up the in that condition?" he asked in frustration. " Three broken ribs, four cracked, separated knee cap, second degree burns on her left side, and a bullet in her back just inches away from her lungs." He said almost out of breath. " I would expect less from a car crash victim." He shrugged. " Then there are all the scars on her..."

"Scars?" I asked.

"Yes. She has scars just about everywhere. Bullet marks, stab wounds and god knows what else." The doctor said. He looked at me and Sam and I didn't like he had looked over her. Which meant he was looking at her with out clothes. Sounds pathetic but I was jealous and angry. Why did she have so many in the first place?

"How long before she is back on her feet?" Sam asked.

"Well I'd give her about a few days before she can walk but three weeks before the pain fades. It's not going to be easy for her." he sighed. "The other wounds she has sustained healed quickly but this... this will be a while." he sighed.

"Thanks." Sam shook the doctor's hand as he walked away. "Why don't you go and see how she's really doing and I'll call Bobby." Sam smiled slightly as he headed out the door. I could tell he was avoiding Clara for the time being. I sighed and walked to the end of the hall.

When I walked in Clara's eyes were closed peacefully and her breathing was steady. I walked over and smiled. She didn't look so much in pain anymore. She had tubes in her arms and one wrapped around her ears allowing more air for her to breathe. She looked tired but she was finally sleeping. I pulled the chair closer and sat next to her. There was a slight smile on her face when I reached out for her hand.

"Don't be too hard on Sammy... he didn't mean to shoot you in the back." I smiled a bit. I hoped she could hear me and eventually wake up. " You can be so stupid sometimes." I shook my head. " I mean it's bad enough you were just pushing Jake to shoot you, but then you stood at gun point and didn't even blink." I shook my head. "It's bad enough Sam had come close to being gone forever... but.. what would i have done if yellow-eyes took his shot?" I asked shaking my head and squeezing her hand. "Next time just stay down. Please." I asked but got no reply.

I sat for a minute alone. I didn't even notice someone was at the door until he spoke up. "Is there an explanation for this one?" A deep and calm voice came. I stood quickly not letting go of Clara's hand. A man no taller then me, in a black suit and perfectly cut short, black hair, stood at the door with his arms crossed. He looked at me with suspicion. He stepped in and looked behind me and sighed when he saw Clara.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Arron Hotchner." The man nodded. I shifted a bit. He was her boss and an FBI agent.

"Oh.." I said feeling very uncomfortable.

"Relax Dean." he said in a firm tone. "I'm not here to arrest you." he said with a slight smile. " I have a feeling Clara would have my head." He smirked a bit. He stroked me as a man who didn't smile much but in that second he did but only for a half a second. "and I believe I covered you and your brother up fairly well this time." He said looking over at me.

"What?" I asked. Why was he covering me and Sam up? Who was this man.

"You and Sam are dead." he nodded. " Just stay clear of Victor Hendrickson. He has it out for you and your brother. And apparently Clara as well." Hotchner said as he walked to the foot of Clara's bed.

"You have to know she has nothing to do with any of that." I defended her.

"I know." Arron nodded.

"Not that I'm complaining but can I ask why you are helping Sam and I?" I asked.

Arron sighed and looked down at Clara. "There are many things I hide from my team. Most of all my personal life. Many people would have me locked in a padded white room if the knew the things you and I knew." he raised his eyes at me.

"Wait... Your a..."

"Was." Arron corrected me. "Now I need to know everything you Winchesters have gotten Clara into." He said in a demanding voice.

"It was taken care of." I answered standing tall. "Problem has been killed and will not harm Clara or anyone else ever again." I reassured him.

"Good to here." He nodded to me. "Now tell me what happened." He ordered again.

"Demons." Was all I said before Arron sighed. "Killed my mother, my father and many other people. He had these people he gave special powers to and had them kill each other for a spot at number one. The last man standing opened a Devil's gate."

"The one Colt was hiding." Arron stepped in with a shake of the head. "But I thought only a relative of his could open it." he looked up to me. How did he know about all that? This man was a major question mark.

"Well you're looking at her." I shrugged. I still wouldn't believe this man Clara spoke of, as a tough, drill Sargent tight ass was a hunter.

"Your brother was the last one standing?"

"He is now." I sighed looking down. "The kid was crazy and homicidal." I tried to defend Sam. "We took care of it but only to come face to face with said demon. Clara jumped in front of it before it could kill me and then I shot it with the Colt." I had no idea why I was explaining this to him but it seemed wrong to lie.

"Who shot her?" he asked.

"I did." Sam's voice came from the door. His face was sad and he looked guilty. Arron looked up at Sam with anger in his eyes. "Sir, you have to understand. It was an accident, I didn't mean too..." he trailed off. I looked over at Sam. " I heard everything from the hall." he explained.

"And the ribs? Burns? That was you too?" Arron asked.

"No. That was the kid who had the gun to her head most of the night and the explosion." I stepped in.

"Explosion?" Arron asked.

"A hunter bar... Harvell's Roadhouse." I explained.

"Is Ellen and Joanna alright?" he asked right away.

"Yeah. They weren't there when the demons destroyed the bar... how do you know Jo and Ellen?" Sam asked.

"Known them for a while and Joanna's my Goddaughter." he said.

"wow... small world." Sam sighed looking over at me.

"Like I was telling your brother, You two are recorded in the FBI data base as dead. Bodies found after a car accident." Arron explained. "Now no one must know about this. So you two stay low for a while and keep her out of harms way. She is suspended for two weeks which should give her time to recover. My team will never know about you two or what I know as well. Understand?" he asked crossing his arms and waited for an answer.

"Yes Sir." Me and Sam answered at the same time.

"Good. Glad we got that cleared up." He nodded. "You two take care."

"Wait... Agent. She wasn't suspended because of us was she?" I asked just before he left.

"She refused to give you two up. Said it was a matter of life or death and that family never turned on each other." He smirked a bit. "I haven't known Clara as long as you two have but she is very loyal and has made it clear to me and Agent Hendrickson she will do what ever it takes to keep you and Sam safe." he said. "That's what family does right." Hotchner nodded to us and took one last look at Clara before he left.

"Well that was different." Sam laughed a bit.

"Yeah tell me about it. Hotchner... that name..."

"I know. I've heard it somewhere too.." Sam agreed. "anyways Bobby said he has all his contacts on the look out for omens but nothing so far. I got us a hotel down the street. I'll be there, call me when she wakes up." he smiled.

"Your not staying?" I asked.

"I think it would be better she wakes up to find you instead on me..." He looked away.

"Sam." I sighed.

"Plus you have some explaining to do." Sam smiled a bit. "Good luck with that." He said before he took off.

I sighed as I sat next to Clara. Her smile had faded a bit but once I held her hand, it came back. I smiled as she breathed evenly. Her eye lids were moving a bit as she sighed. I waited for her to open her eyes. I spent a few hours of sitting next to her and talking quietly to make sure she knew I was there. "You know anytime now would be freaking great." I was getting tired of waiting.

I still waited for a while. Two hours almost. My head was resting on my hands next to Clara. I was slowly falling asleep when I heard her moan in pain. My head popped right back up and I looked at her. Her head was turned the other way this time and her eyes were shut tightly. She started to move her legs and then her eyes finally opened. She didn't say anything and she didn't mover her head. She was blinking quickly.

"Hey..." I said quietly and her eyes popped open in shock. She slowly turned her head and tried to her best to sit up. Her mouth hung open when she saw me.

"Dean?" She asked. I smiled and she just looked confused. She put both her arms under herself and pushed up. She sat up without looking away from me. I sat next to her on the bed. She just looked me up and down. I don't think she was really awake but then she flung her arms around my neck and pulled me in tight. I'm sure it hurt like yell because I felt her tense up but she just squeezed me tighter and closer than ever. "I'm so glad your okay." she said in a quiet voice and she was shaking. I heard her sniff in her tears and I couldn't help but smile.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked as I slowly pulled away. She dropped her arms to my hands.

"Yellow-eyes." She took a deep breath. "He had you pinned to the ground with the Colt at your head." She looked confused.

"Yeah someone got in his way." I laughed at her. "Clara you freaking jumped in front of that gun just seconds before he was going to shoot. Dad grabbed him from behind and you kicked me the gun when it fell." I said. " You don't remember?"

"Wait... I kicked you the gun... does that mean?" She stopped.

"Yupp, he's dead." I smiled and the best look of relief washed over her.

"Good." Was all she said before she pulled me into her again. She sighed as I hugged her back. When she finally let me go she looked down at her self. "Wow I sure know how to take a beating." She said. "Wait.." She paused. "Dean can I have your shirt." She pointed the the long sleeve blue plaid one hung over the chair. She looked nervous all of a sudden.

I reached over and grabbed it. " Why?" I asked as she took it from me and put it on.

"They took my clothes." She said quietly. "Only thing between me and anyone else is this freaking gown of paper." She said closing the over sized shirt around her. I laughed as I shook my head.

"Really all that's happened, that is what your worried about."

"Yes." She said with a smile. "Oh that reminds me." She smiled sweetly at me as she leaned in closer. I was confused. It looked like she was about to hug me or kiss me. Then her arm came flying and smacked me in the back of the head.

"hey!" I called as she leaned back. "What the hell?" I asked.

I looked back at her and she was pissed. Her arms crossed and eyes narrowed. "How long did you get?" Was all she asked.

"What?" I asked. I knew what she wanted to know but I was trying to hide it.

"Don't play dumb with me Dean." She said. "The last few hours may be fuzzy but the part about you selling your soul is pretty damn clear." She said with a sigh. " How long did you get?" She asked again. She did not look impressed.

"Does it matter? Sammy's fine, you're going to be fine, and Yellow-eyes is dead." I shrugged standing and walking to the end of her bed hiding my nervousness with a smile.

"It matters." She said following me with her eyes.

I sighed as I leaned on the rail at the end. I looked down avoiding eye contact with her. "One year."


	93. Chapter 93

"One year!" I almost yelled back at him. Dean wouldn't even meet my eye. I was so mad but then it just faded. I couldn't yell, I couldn't curse I just sighed and looked up at him.

"What? No yelling? No cursing?" he laughed looking up expecting more out of me.

" No." I said looking up at him finally feeling all the pain it took to sit up. I placed an arm around my sides to hold the pain in. "I guess I have nothing to yell about?" I shrugged.

Dean laughed a bit. "That must be the painkillers talking then..." He trailed off.

"No it's not." I argued back. "I just don't see the point in yelling." I smiled. "And frankly I don't have the energy."

"So you're not mad?" he asked.

I laughed. " Oh I'm pissed." I shook my head and he sighed. "But I would have done the same. Hell I was thinking about it before you took off."

"What?" he looked up at me in anger. I just looked back in confusion.

"It's not like I could just stand by and leave Sam for dead." I sighed. Dean clenched his fists tightly. "Why are you so mad?" I asked. " I'm not the one who made the deal." I tried to defend myself.

"And you never should." He finally raised his voice a bit. "It's not your job to watch over us." He sighed.

"Uh Yeah it is." I disagreed.

"No. I watch out for Sammy, Sam watches out for me and we watch out for you."

"You don't think it's a two way street?" I asked crossing my arms a bit. "I don't know how many times I can say it before you understand that You, Sam and Bobby, are all the family I have. I would die for all of you in a second."

Dean shook his head and rushed over quickly. " But why? Why do you feel the need to do so?"

"Why do you feel you had to give up your soul for Sam? Why will you die for him?" I asked. He didn't answer. I rolled my eyes and patted the bed and he sat next to me. "Because you love him. He's your brother. There isn't anything you wouldn't do for him." I smiled. "Same goes for me." I smiled.

Dean sighed as he looked down. " I'm sorry." He said quietly.

"Why?" I asked.

"For dragging you into all this... if we just stayed away for good then none of this..."

"Wooh! Hey." I stopped him. "I'm not sorry. Sure I may be a bit beat up but nothing I can't handle." I smiled.

* * *

**Ok i'm a little confused... the last review mentioned Clara was 22 and in highschool... I'm not sure how the Guest read that chapter but Clara was defiantly not 22... she is like 24 right now. She was just turning 17 when teh boys left her the first time so I don't know why that review thought she was 22 but she wasn't. Idk maybe I wrote it in a weird way... I just wanted to clear all that up!  
OKAY! Now for a short note. So I have to timeline skip a bit! I hope that is okay but in order to get to where I wanna be I need to. So don't worry Clara and the boys aren't falling out it will just be a while till they see each other. Not long but I need to get to the middle then the end of season 3 for shit to move along! And I have so many Ideas for when Clara meets CAS! hahahha Which brings me to my next question of you all lovely people...**

**When Cas and Clara meet how would you prefer their relationship? He acts cold toward her like he does with Sam in season 4, or should she see the angelness of him and understand he isn't like the others and they should be friends... IDK! SO help me leave comments and it will be much appreciated! :) **

**Thanks for all you're reviews they make me smile! xo**


	94. Chapter 94

A few hours went by as Dean kept me company. He had called Sam and Bobby to tell them I was awake and going to be fine. He promised he would stay with me for as long as I needed. But I made him get back to the job. He didn't like it but there were hundreds of demons out there just lurking in the shadows and he and Sam and every other hunter needed to be in that fight.

Bobby and Ellen seemed to be the people I saw more often after I sent the boys away. I spent two weeks in the hospital and Bobby helped me to walk normally again and Ellen kept me company and filed me in on everything that had happened so far. Sam and Dean called once or twice every week and told me everything they have come up against. So far it was the seven deadly sins in their demonic form. Then there was the Changlings in Indiana. Sam told me about the parental freak out Dean had when he met up with a girl he dated 8 years ago and had a son the same age. I couldn't stop laughing and Sam thought it was just as funny.

I would always reassure Sam we would find a way to get Dean out of his deal but Sam was beginning to think there may not be a way out. But he came around after a few days and was very sure there was a way. Dean didn't seem bothered at all that his year was slowly getting shorter. He did however call me more often and tell me things he never would have before. Like when he found out about Lisa and Ben he opened up about how he wouldn't have mind being a father. I thought it was sweet he had a soft spot for kids.

Me and Dean never spoke of the night he kissed me. I didn't needed to be reminded and I think he just wanted to forget it. Which was fine, I had all the practice in the world. I was used to hiding my feelings and lying about how much I wanted Dean to just come back kiss me again. I was jealous when he talked about Lisa and Ben and I was jealous when Sam told me about the times he had to wait in the Impala while Dean concurred another waitress. Dean was dying and if he wanted to fill his time with cheap women and monsters then that was his choice. Sure it scared me he was going to die but me and Sam both tried to just focus on finding a way out.

After the two weeks of recovery I returned to work with a bit of a limp. Garcia fussed over it and I explained I had fallen down the stairs and came close to breaking my leg. She called my clumpy and laughed. I found it hard to move quickly because of the broken ribs but the painkillers I had worked and didn't effect my profiling. Hotch seemed to lighten up a bit around me but everyone else was asking questions. They had called over the two weeks I was gone and I never answered. I explained that I just needed some time away but they didn't believe me. Strauss kept her close eye on me but ever since I got back I kept my comments to myself and did as I was ordered.

Cases were normal and unsubs were as crazy as ever. It was never a dull day at the BAU. We had just gotten back from a serial stabbing case when JJ informed us we were headed to Groveland, Massachusetts. Small town where couples would go missing and end up three days later spread out in the town park. Three couples so far have been killed and no claims have been made to the media about the killings.

Hotch sent JJ to deal with the press, Morgan and I were to go to the crime scenes and see how this unsub was getting two people in and out of his vehicle with no witnesses. Reid and Rossi were talking to the family and Hotch stayed with JJ to watch over.

"So you ever going to tell us what happened?" Morgan asked as we both got out of the SUV.

"When?" I asked. I really thought everyone was over this.

"Oh please. You were arrested, let go, you go missing for two weeks then you come back with a limp. I'm not dumb Clara I know something happened. You work with profilers! We all know." he laughed.

"Well nothing happened." I would tell him and everyone over and over. " Can we just focus on catching a serial killer please." I shook my head with a smile.

"Fine." he smiled back. "Well it seems pretty well-lit around here." We stood in the middle of the park. Lamp posts were every few feet and benches were placed everywhere. There was only a small group of trees and the rest was a wide soccer field and a play ground. "How did this guy get two people, dead ones for that matter out and have time to spread them around."

I was quiet as I thought about every possibility. It had been almost a week since I last spoke with Sam, and Bobby was still fighting demons. Dean hadn't called in almost two weeks and I was starting to think something bad happened. My mind was jumping from one problem to another. I had heard everything Morgan said but didn't answer. My gaze was focused on the play ground no one was playing in.

"Walsh?" Morgan snapped me out of my daze.

"Sad kids can't play outside because someone is to busy littering the ground with dead people." I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah... but how is he getting them here?" He asked looking around.

"That road leads to a bushed in area. Maybe he has a small car and it's unnoticeable." I offered. " Maybe he has a partner." I shrugged.

"Well that makes more sense. One to drive, one to cut them up and then they both can spread parts quickly without being seen." Morgan filled in my theory. "Should see what Garcia found out about the victims."

Morgan and I shared our view with the team and Reid agreed it made sense. "You guys these couples are very different." Garcia started to fill us in. "Different friends, gyms, jobs, nothing matches." She sighed.

"What about clubs?" JJ offered.

"Okay... one second..." We all waited for her to finish typing. "Each of the male victims had wealthy fathers... and all were a member of the Maritime Museum's collectors club." She sounded confused.

"The what?" I asked.

"It's a museum that hold auctions for... " She paused. " Well that's new... long-lost ship artifacts." She almost laughed. "That's it. All they had in common was that museum." She sighed.

"Garcia does that museum have any employees that have a record?" Hocth asked.

"One step ahead of you sir. List of employees sent to each of your phones... Three of prior convictions, each history of mental illness." She was typing quickly. "Oh! And the Museum is having an open house Gala this evening. The museum is in the next town over, only a ten minute drive."

"So the unsub could pick out a victim and then follow them home, kidnap them, hold them then kill them." Reid put it all together.

"So what? We raid the gala?" I asked. "Seems like the men we are looking for would run off." I said.

"Walsh is right. And we don't exactly have evidence for brining them in." Rossi said.

"Garcia I imagine this Gala is invite only?" Hotch said.

"Yes... but seeing as six people are now no longer attending..." She clicked a few buttons. " You are all on the list." I could hear her giggle.

"Wait... what?" I asked. "We can't just go in there and start asking questions."

"We can if we are subtle about it." Rossi smiled. "Plus this maybe the closes we could ever get to these men."

"Oh and before you all go play undercover... it's black tie." Garcia laughed.

"Seriously?" I asked myself and Morgan and Rossi laughed.

"Everyone be ready for 7 in the lobby." Hotch said before he and Rossi took off.

"Why is it that this doesnt seem FBI at all." I rolled my eyes.

"Oh come on Clara. What is so bad about this?" JJ smiled. " Chance to dress up."

"Eaxctly. Not something I look forward to."

"Will you just..." JJ sighed walking over to me and linking my arm with hers. " Just follow my lead and you may eve come out of this night with a date..." She winked as she jumped in an SUV and I hopped in next to her.

"I thought we were looking for a serial killer?" I laughed.

"Well that would be a plus." JJ smiled as she drove. "Now this town has to have a nice store somewhere... ah there that looks good." She pulled into a store with dresses and shoes in the window.

"Oh God." I rolled my eyes. "There is no way in hell you're getting me into one of those."

I wish JJ would have listened to me. For the next two hours she pushed me into dressing rooms and threw dresses at me. She could tell I didn't wanna be there. She thought it was funny how uncomfortable I was. The last two she threw at me were two of the most beautiful dresses I have ever seen.

"I can't pull something this nice off." I said as I held them in my hands.

"Last you I promise." She smiled. " I have a feeling one of these are it."

I sighed. "Fine." I rolled my eyes. The first one was a slick black, floor length, backless gown with beading around the waist. The neck line was low and very revealing. I hated it. "This isn't happening." I said as I stepped out and JJ laughed.

"No that's not right." She shook her head. " The other one... it's the one I bet you twenty bucks." She winked.

The last one was very nice. It was a light red, floor length gown with a dark silver beaded belt and matching shoulder sleeves. It was a snug fit and the neck line was high enough to cover a scar or two but still low enough to show the right amount of cleavage. I sighed when I looked in the mirror. The way the shoulder pieces sat covered the bullet hole left by Jake and Sam.

"Don't forget these." JJ slid me a pair of black close toe heels with a strap round the ankles. They were actually the nicest shoes I have ever seen or worn.

"Don't laugh..." I sighed before I opened the door. I gave my self one last once over. The dress hugged all the right curves and looked nice but being seen in public like this would make Sam, Dean, Bobby, and any hunter I know laugh.

"Never! Just come out!" JJ shouted. I took a deep breath and walked out quickly closing my eyes. "woooow." She let out a breath. "You look amazing." She smiled and my eyes opened.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes." She nodded. " Just curl your hair and make those lashes stand out and no one would think twice about checking you out." She laughed.

"Thanks JJ." I smiled.

A few hours later I stood in my hotel room fighting with my hair. I knew how to do my job but in this dress it was hard to remember I was an FBI agent. I had curled my hair borrowing JJ's curler, and pinned half of it up. My bangs curled perfectly to one side but there was one strand of hair that wouldn't stay. I couldn't put the dress on before my hair was fixed.

"Clara?" JJ knocked.

"Come in and help me!" I called out and she laughed as she stepped in. She was already dressed and looked beautiful. "Jesus! You make it look so easy!" I said throwing my hands in the air.

"Well I hope that was a compliment." She laughed.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes you look great." I smiled.

"Wait you're not dressed... we are supposed to meet in like twenty minutes." She pointed out.

"Yes I know..." I sighed. " But I can't get this..." I pointed to the one strand of hair. "To stay. It's like it is against all the other hairs." I laughed.

"Rebel hair?" JJ laughed as she walked over with a bobby pin. "Here let me." She said turning me around and fixing what was wrong. "There." She smiled. "Now about your face."

"What's wrong with my face?" I asked.

"Nothing... can I?" She reached behind me picking up mascara and lip stick. I sighed.

"Do I even have a choice?" I asked.

JJ laughed as she shook her head. She did what she wanted and somehow made the lack of eyelashes I had look big and make my eyes looked bigger too. She then added a light shade of red lipstick and made my lips bigger as well. "There. Now get dressed. I'll meet you down stairs." She smiled.

"Thanks JJ..." I sighed. She just smiled and left. I know I'm not exactly like most women but sometimes I wish I had the confidence as they did. I mean hand me a gun and a knife I can kick anyones ass but slap a dress and heels at me I'm awkward and clumpy. Plus dressing up and JJ attitude only made me think about Jessica. How she made me put on a dress to impress a guy and meet her boyfriend. I remember how happy she looked when I did what she wanted. It made me wonder what she and Sam would be doing now if she hadn't died.

I stood in front of the mirror trying to get used to the heels and just judging myself. I knew I had to suck it up and deal with what everyone else thought was a good idea, but I hated it. "We better catch this guy or I swear..." I said to myself as I looked at the reflection that didn't even look like me anymore. Well it did... just prettier I guess. "Alright... just suck it up." I said to myself again as I headed for the door. I just about tripped over my own foot but glad I did it now not later.

I headed toward the elevator and sighed when it finally opened to the lobby. I noticed JJ standing next to Morgan and Reid with a big smile. I took a deep breath and looked straight and started walking toward them. Morgan and Reid looked very handsome with their tuxedos all ironed and fitted. They were smiling at JJ as she looked around the lobby.

"Alright. Let's get this over with." I said with a smile as I got close enough.

"Holy crap..." Derek coughed out.

"Clara?" Spencer questioned squinting his eyes.

"What?" I asked looking around thinking something was wrong. They both looked at me with wide eyes. "Seriously... what?" I asked in a panic.

"You.. You look amazing." Reid barely even blinked.

A smile came to my face instantly. "Really?" I'm sure I blushed a bit.

"Stunning is more like it." Derek flashed a smile.

"See! I told you." JJ smiled.

"Thanks." My smile got bigger. I couldn't believe it. Did I actually look that good?

"Well you all clean up pretty well." Rossi's voice came from behind me. He was wearing a very nice suit as well. "wooh." He looked to me and JJ. "Ok more than just well." He laughed.

JJ and I smiled with a nod. "Where's Hotch?" Reid asked.

"He's upstairs. Phone call." Rossi shrugged. " Told me that we should all go ahead. "Jackie." he called out to someone who had just walked in.

"Did you get a date?" I laughed.

"Well yeah." Rossi smiled as he walked over to the women. I shook my head.

"You guys go ahead I'll watch for Hotch." JJ offered.

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yeah." She smiled. "Garcia sent us all the three guys were are looking for so go and get a look at the place and when me and Hotch get there we can start our questioning." She smiled.

"Alright." Morgan smiled as he walked up to me. He stuck out his arm for me to hold on to.

"Such a gentle men." I laughed as I linked arms with him. I stuck my other arm out for Reid to take hold and when he did we followed Rossi to the SUVs.

The drive was quick and when we finally got to the gala I was shaking. How was I supposed to act confident when I didn't feel it. "Why are you so nervous?" Reid asked as he helped me out of the SUV.

"I'm not. I just don't see the point in this." I sighed as I linked arms with both Morgan and him.

"Catch this guys off guard he won't try to hide or run." Morgan said as we walked up the stairs. "Just act like you belong." He smiled as the man at the door as for our invitations. Morgan smiled at him and handed him three of them.

"Yeah but I don't." I laughed.

As we walked into the museum my nervousness went up to at least a 12. Reid had let go of me and disappeared into the crowd looking for one of the men. Derek still had his arm around mine and he could sense the nervousness. "here." he handed me a glass of champagne I assumed it was. "We are here to catch a killer. Just focus on your mark and you'll be fine." He smiled at me. "Plus you looked freaking amazing so you shouldn't be this nervous." he laughed.

"Thanks." I said taking a drink as I looked around quickly. I saw Rossi already dancing with his date and Reid already talking to a security guard. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

** In case you wanted to see the dress I bases Clara's off of- **

. but it is light red

And her shoes -

_img/SDPRODUCTS/738639/180/2595_2_20112909_ only black!


	95. Chapter 95

Derek and I had chatted for a minute before he looked around and smiled. "Wanna dance?" he asked.

"Might as well blend in." I smiled. He took my hand and led me toward everyone else. He put on arm around my waist and then held the my other hand up. I placed on hand on his shoulder and the other in his hand. We stared to dance and we were both looking around. "So divide and concour is that the deal?" I asked.

"Yeah. Reid and I have a Jack Weller." he said looking around. "You?"

"Hotch and I both have Anderson Copper." I rolled my eyes.

"Really? Thats the guys name?" Derek laughed.

"Yeah... been arrested twice for cruelty to animals and other little things..." I said looking over his shoulder.

"Bingo." Derek said.

"What?" I asked.

"Reid found him." Derek smiled. " I gotta go talk to him."

"Derek don't you dare leave me." I said looking up.

"Clara." He laughed. "Just get a drink and freaking relax." he said slowly letting go.

"I hate you." I said as he slid away from me.

I started walking away from the group of people dancing when a women bumped into me. "Oh I'm sorry." The women smiled. She was older and long silver hair.

"No my bad. Not watching where I'm going." I smiled. "Just trying to get out of he way." I smiled.

"Is that man your date?" She asked pointing to Derek as he walked away.

"Yeah you could say that." I shrugged giving him an evil look as him as Reid talked.

"And he just left you?" She asked placing a hand on my shoulder. "You poor thing. That isn't very poliet." She shook her head.

"Oh don't worry. I'm used to it." I smiled. "Plus I don't really think I belong here." I laughed nervously.

"Why's that sweetheart?" She smiled sweetly.

"Not exactly my kind of thing." I had no idea why I was telling this strange old lady this.

"Well if my opinion matters anything I think you look like you belong. You are very beautiful." She smiled.

"Well thank you..."I didn't know her name.

"Gertrude Case." She shook my hand.

"Well it was very nice to meet you Mrs Case."

"Oh Miss darlin'." She corrected me with a big smile.

"Oh. So what lucky man got you here tonight?" I asked.

"You see that tall fine piece of ass by the bar?" She pointed out a young man with his back to us. I was shocked by her choice of words but it made me laugh. "He is playing hard to get but I know he wants me." She giggled.

"Is that so?" I asked. "What's the lucky man's name?" I asked.

"Sam." She whispered.

"Oh God." I couldn't help but laugh. "You know Miss Case." I turned to her. "I think I got something that might get him to show his feelings for you more. Would you mind if I went up to him and talked to him?" I asked.

"Oh by all means." She smiled. "Tell him I'm waiting for him." She said in a seductive tone.

"Okay." I smiled. I turned and couldn't hold back my smile. I couldn't see who Sam was with but I had a feeling he wasn't here alone.

* * *

I stood next to Bella with a drink in my hand. This case started out easy and was just getting odd. It was funny how frisky the old women Sam was with was. I looked around the crowd looking for anything that would catch my eye. Lately I've been digging to deep in the hot waitress pool. I was getting tired of it. That's when I saw her. Her back was to me as she dance with a large dark man. I'll admit he had good enough looks but someone with a body like that... I was cut off by him leaving her. What a jerk. Who leaves that behind. She turned her head slightly but I couldn't see if her face matched the rest of her. I was about to go up to her when Sam came out of no where and cut off my veiw.

"Exactly how long do you expect me to entertain my date." He said. He was so mad but it was funny.

"As long as it takes." Bella said sipping her drink. Sam was not impressed.

"Look. The security is unbelievable. This is an uncrashable party. Without Gert's invitations." I smiled at Sam.

"We can crash anything." Sam smiled smugly at me.

"Yeah I know. But this is easier and a lot more entertaining." I laughed.

"You know there are limits to what I'll do right?" Sam said shaking his head.

"Aw playing hard to get that's cute." I smiled looking over his shoulder. " Tell you what... there are no limits to what I would do to her." I said as I noticed the Burnett talking to Miss Case.

"Dean." Bella shot at me. "We are supposed to be a couple."

"Well I wanna break up." I smiled at her and looked back. She looked at me with hate in her eyes. She was just as impatient as Sam. "Oh come on..." I said and Sam turned his head.

"She's talking to Gertrude." His eyes widened. Then a smile broke out. "Maybe..."

"Don't you even. I call dibs." I punched Sam.

"Oh how romantic." Bella rolled her eyes. "Can we just go and get this over with." She said pulling at my arm.

"I'm watching you." I said looking back to the women who still had not turned. Before the night was up I'd have her number.

* * *

As I got closer to Sam I noticed a tall women and sharply dressed man walk away. I smiled before he turned around. "You know it is very rude to keep a lady waiting Sammy." I spoke and he spun around quickly.

"Oh my God." My mouth dropped. "Clara?" he asked.

"Hi." I smiled.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm working... as hard as that is to believe." I looked down. " What about you?" I asked.

"Same... Wow Clara you look so good." he smiled.

"Thanks. You clean up nice." I smiled at him. "Now how did you end up as that women's date?" I asked as we both looked over and she smiled with a wave.

"Dean." he said angrily. "Jerk took off with Bella a minute ago to break into a heavily guarded case with hand in it." He rolled his eyes.

"Bella?" I asked. " Bella Talbot?" I asked.

"You know her?"

"Kinda... ran into her on a hunt years ago." I shrugged. "Both seemed to have guns to each other." Sam laughed. " I gotta go find someone but I promise I'll come back and save you with the old lady gets to touchy." I winked.

"Please hurry." he begged before I walked away. Miss Case was just behind me and took a hold of Sam. I laughed when I looked back to find them dancing. She was very hands on. I spent a most of the next hour wandering through the people looking for Anderson Copper.

"Find anything?" Hotch made me jump.

I turned quickly to find him in a nicer suit than usual. "No... the others find their guy?" I asked as we both walked side by side in the background.

"Yeah. They both have solid allibies." Hotch sighed.

"So then Copper is most likely our unsub?" I asked. Hotch nodded. "and he doesn't have a partner." I sighed.

"Well who knows. We have to find him first." Hocth said. " I'll keep a look out, you head up stairs see if you can find anything or anyone. I'll call you if I find anything." He nodded walking the other way. I looked back to the dance floor and spotted Sam and Miss Case dancing quiet close. I would save him eventually. Call it pay back for not calling in two weeks. Morgan was dancing with someone as well, Rossi and his date and even JJ and Reid. I smiled as I headed up stairs.

"Can I help you with something miss?" A man stopped me.

"No." I smiled. "Just need to take a peek upstairs. I seem to have miss placed my date." I smiled.

"How could he leave someone as pretty as you behind." he flashed a charming smile.

"Oh you are so sweet." I smiled placing a hand on his arm. " So would you mind. I'll only be a minute?" I asked.

"Sure." he smiled letting up through to the stairs.

"Thank you so much." I smiled as I walked up the stairs. Harder than it looks in a long dress with heels. I was so thankful I didn't fall over myself. When I got to the top of the stairs there was a hall full of doors. I sighed. I was headed for a door when my phone rang. I had it stuffed into a small black clutch with my badge. "yeah?" I answered.

"Clara where did you go?" Morgan's voice came through.

"Well unlike someone I'm actually looking for my suspect." I laughed. " How's your night going? Got her number yet?"

"Of course." He laughed. "We are headed back to the station. Hotch said you and him were staying behind. You still haven't found Copper?" he asked.

"Morgan if I found him do you think I would be wondering the freaking halls in this God awful thing." I rolled my eyes. "Just call me if you find anything on Copper I should know before I go chasing after him." I said before I hung up. I rolled my eyes as I shoved my phone back in my purse.


	96. Chapter 96

"If I found him do you think I would be wondering the freaking halls in this God awful thing?" I heard that voice as I walked back up the stairs. "Just call me if you find anything on Copper I should know before I go chasing after him." She sounded frustrated. I just caught a glimpse of her back again when I got to the top of the stairs. She had disappeared into a room. It was getting annoying I couldn't see her face. The mystery built even more when she said she was looking for someone.

* * *

I searched just about every room and found nothing that would tell me where Copper was hiding. So I gave in and headed downstairs. I figured Sam had suffered enough. When I came down Miss Case was just about hanging off of Sam and I had to laugh to myself it was funny. I walked over slowly and the brightest smile beamed from Sam when he saw me.

"Excuse me." I said and Gertrude turned around.

"I don't know what you said to him but he's all over me." She leaned in and she smelled of alcohol. I smiled.

"Well I'm glad I could help. Would you mind if I steal him for one dance before you two love birds take off." I asked politely.

"Why of course." She stepped away from Sam and his smiled. "Just be careful he is all hands." She whispered loudly as she stumbled away. I laughed as I walked over to Sam.

"Thank you sooo much." He said. He lightly put his arms around me and we danced slowly.

"Well I wanted to let you suffer but it was just too heartbreaking... and well creepy." We both laughed. "So tell me how you ended up with her."

"Dean's idea of a joke."

"Well it is pretty funny. Any longer she would have had you right here." I laughed.

"Shut up." He said.

"Oh well serves you right or not calling." I said and he sighed. "Don't worry about it I know you two have a lot on your plate." I smiled.

"Speaking of which I may have found a way to get Dean out of his deal." Sam's eyes got serious.

"How?" I asked suspicious of his plan. We both have searched for weeks and found nothing. How did he suddenly have a solution.

"Sam. Where is Miss Case." I heard an irritated voice come from behind me.

"And I thought I called dibs." I heard Dean's voice whisper.

"Well while you two were having fun I saved poor Sammy's hide before Gertrude jumped him." I said turning around.

The face Dean made was priceless. His mouth dropped and his eyes popped. That'll teach him to leave me behind. I turned and crossed my arms and Bella looked me up and down. "Holy crap..." Dean barely got out.

"Real nice Dean. Leaving your little brother to the shark. " I put my hands on my hips and smiled.

"Yeah." Sam said from behind me.

Dean just stared at me. Well not at my face more like my body. "woooow." he smiled.

"You look familiar... Have we met?" Bella asked in her annoying accent.

"Yes we have." I turned crossing my arms. "Except last time you had a gun to my head and I had one to yours." I smiled and the boys looked over at Bella with anger. "You wanted my fathers journal and everything he had in his trunk." I said.

"OH right Clara Walsh. Daughter of dear old David Walsh. He took things from me. You want to hand them over?" She asked.

I laughed. "No, not really." Bella stood tall and took a step closer. "Oh honey we both know your not that intimidating. And this time I have a badge and a gun." I smiled stepping up to her.

"Where could you possibly have a gun?!" Dean asked so confused.

"Wanna find out?" I smiled over at him then eyed her. Bella just stared at me for a minute. Then she looked to Dean and walked the other way.

"Mind if I steal him back?" Gertrude said from behind me, and pinched Sam.

"He's all yours." I smiled at her as she took Sam back.

"Your right it is funny." I smiled over my shoulder to Dean. Before I could walk away Dean grabbed my hand and spun me around. We were in the middle of the dance floor and he wrapped and arm around me snugly. "I didn't know you could dance?" I laughed.

"On occasion." He smiled at me with a shrug.

"Yeah? And what occasion is this?" I asked shaking my head as we danced.

"Gotta dance with the prettiest girl in the room." He said with a smile.

I laughed a bit. " I think that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me." I said looking at him.

"Really?" he asked shaking his head. " I don't think so?" He disagreed. I nodded. " Well you clean up good." he smiled looking around.

"Well you don't look to bad your self Mr. Bond." I winked. He smiled at me.

"So you were with someone earlier..." Dean started.

"Yeah. Whole team was here... oh. You and Sam should get out of here." I started to pull away. "Hotch is still around. We are looking for our suspect." I tried to pull away but Dean wouldn't let me go.

"Don't worry about it Clara." He smiled.

"Seriously? Dean your wanted for murder." I whispered quietly. "If he sees you..."

"Clara." Dean stopped me. " Don't worry about it." He said with a shrug.

"Okay... what's going on with you?" I asked as Dean pulled me closer.

"Nothing. Just enjoying life." he smiled and I sighed. I didn't know what to say. I just smiled at him and looked over his shoulder.

"You know Sam isn't going to let you die right." I leaned in closer.

"Well he is gonna have to." Dean said back. "He or I try to weasel out of the deal Sam dies and so do I." He said I looked back at him quickly. "There's always a catch." He sighed. I still had no idea what to say. "Your still pissed at me aren't you?" He asked with a laugh. I didn't answer. "Please don't be..." He sighed. "Sam's pissed, and Bobby he wants to kill me himself... can you just not be mad?" he asked.

I looked him in the eye and he seemed really serious. "Okay." I smiled. He looked shocked. "I'm not mad." I smiled. "Just let us help. You never know..." I said with a sigh as I looked over his shoulder and finally found who I was looking for! "Got you..." I said t myself.

"What?" Dean asked.

"My suspect... I finally found him." I smiled. " Dean I gotta..." I pulled away.

"Go. Me and Sam gotta finish our hunt anyways." he smiled. "I'll call you later." Dean said leaning in slowly and kissing me on the cheek lightly before pulling away and walking away with Sam and the old women. I pulled out my phone and dialled Hotch right away. "Hotch!" I almost yelled. "Back behind the bar. He's headed toward the door. I think he is leaving. "

"I'm close... he's gonna make a run for it." Hotch said.

"Not if I can help it." I said hanging up and pushing my way through the crowd. I got close enough to be with in arms reach but he saw me and he panicked. "Wait!" I called out as he bursted through the door. Then I did something I never thought I could do. I chased after Copper in those heels and caught up to him and pulled his collar back. He fell back and pushed me against the wall of the building. Just as Copper was about to hit me back again Hotch came up in front of Copper and put the gun to his head.

"Anderson Copper your under arrest for murder." Hotch said grabbing him and pulling him off me. I pushed off the wall and sighed. "cuffs." Hotch said motioning to his belt. He spun Copper around and pushed him on the wall. I grabbed Hotchner's cuffs and slapped them on Copper.

"They were asking for it!" He yelled as Hotch escorted him to the SUV. I walked behind him still managing to walk in my heels. probably the most impressive thing I have ever done in my life. I smiled to myself as Hotch put Copper in the van.

"He'll confess... well he already has." I said to Hotch.

"Plane leaves in the morning." He said jumping into the SUV.

"What?" I didn't understand but he took off before I could answer. I looked around and smiled at myself. I walked back in to looked for the boys but they were long gone. I went to the bar and ordered a drink. I downed the scotch and ordered another. After three, it was time to leave. I had wasted an hour in the bar and when I walked out and headed to the hotel Dean called. "Hello?" I asked getting in the cab.

"Hey. Your not busy with your FBI stuff are you?" he laughed.

"No."

"Good. We just got rid of Bella." Dean sounded happy. "Edge of town. Run down street. Elm 445." He said.

I hung up after and told the driver where to drive. Of course I didn't tell him the address I said the next street over. I didn't want to lead anyone right to them. The sun was not coming back up for a while and I had till morning. Maybe now the boys could explain why they haven't called.

When I got to the door I knocked. "Who is it?" Sam called out.

"You expecting someone else?" I called back. Three deadbolts later Sam opened the door and smiled at me. He was still wearing his tux and he looked so cute. "How did it go with Miss Case?" I asked winking at him.

"Oh haha very funny." he rolled his eyes. "At least we killed the spirit." Sam said.

"Well that's good." I smiled as I walked in. " So you've resorted to squatting?" I asked.

"Well when your face is plastered just about everywhere as a wanted criminal... kinda need to improvise." Dean said coming from the other room.

"Give it a week or two and everyone will forget." I smiled. "oh!" I jumped with a big smile. The boys looked at me. "I just chased down a psychopath in these thing." I said bending over and taking my shoes off.

"So?" Dean asked.

I threw my shoes at him and he looked at them with wide eyes. " Lets see you do that!" I said with a laugh.

"How did you even manage to put those on?" Sam asked taking one from Dean. " not to mention chasing after someone." He looked impressed.

"Exactly!" I said with a smile. I walked over to the old table sitting in the middle of the room. I sat down and looked down at all the papers they had everywhere. "ghost ship?" I asked picking up a picture of a creepy looking ship. They nodded. "This is responsible for the random drownings?" I asked and they both looked at me. "What? Your not the only ones who read newspapers." I laughed. " So what happened?" I asked.

"Captain of the ship was killed by his brother and so he was killing people who spilt their own families blood." Sam said walking over sitting next to me. "All was going perfect until Bella showed up." Sam said looking up to Dean.

"Her reputation is upheld then." I smiled.

"Hey we got paid this time. Can't complain." Dean smiled as he sat across from me.

"Paid?" I asked.

"We saved Bella's life. So she paid us off." He smiled.

"What ten grand each?" I asked leaning back crossing my arms.

"How did you know that?" He asked.

"She doesn't like being in debt and Ten grand to her is like a twenty bucks to us." I rolled my eyes. "Should have let the bitch deal with her own debt." I smiled.

"Clara." Sam scolded me.

"What!?" I laughed. "Everyone gets what they deserve right?" I asked avoiding Dean's gaze. "Okay well... not everyone." I sighed when Sam gave me a sideways look. "She certainly does." I said with a shake of the head.

"Wow that's cold." Dean laughed.

"Let that be a lesson to you two then." I smiled. "Try and con me and betray me... I'm not jumping through hoops to save your ass." I laughed.

"Ooh so tough. I'm scared." Dean laughed.

"You should be." I laughed back. "Alright. What else have I missed?" I asked. "It's been almost a month... let the story telling being." I smiled.


	97. Chapter 97

We filled Clara in on all the hunts and adventures we had been on since we left her at the hospital. She listened carefully and was amazed at what we had accomplished. We also told her all about the other hunters and that they had been coming up against demons every turn. Then in return we asked her about her cases. She didn't want to share much but we begged. We were tired of hunter stories.

A few hours went by with the three of us just talking. It was nice to have a break from demons. She never once asked about my deal and Sam just brush passed Ruby and the demon knife. Not sure why but I didn't bother brining it up.

"Everyone must be sick of demons..." She sighed. "Just a matter of time before I have to deal with one. That's going to be." She sighed putting her head down on the table and crossed her arms over.

"Who knows maybe someone is a believer?" Sam shrugged looking over at me.

"I highly doubt that." She sighed. "Each one of them are so skeptical. If they knew about all this crap... I think they would have a mental break down." she said pushing her hair out of her face. "Oh speaking of which... I think you got another friend out there on the force." She sat up. " I looked you both up to try and hide you but your already dead." She said shaking her head.

"Really?" I asked looking over at Sam who just smirked.

"Yeah... Do you know who did that?" She asked.

"No... just lucky I guess." I shrugged.

Clara laughed. "Lucky?" She asked. "Well that would be new." She sighed. She looked around the room and her eyes stopped a the piano sitting in the corner. She stood and walked over slowly. She smiled when she pressed on the keys and it played normally.

She sat down and started playing and it was amazing. " Where did you learn that?" Sam asked as he walked over and sat next to her.

"Well my dad taught me a few notes but it was actually Brady." She smiled over at him.

"Brady?" He asked with a laugh. "When did he teach you?"

I stood and walked over. "Who's Brady?" I asked leaning on the piano as she pressed a few keys.

"I didn't even like him at first." She smiled. "But he just kept showing up... then after Jess..." She paused and Sam looked at her with sad eyes. "After Jess died and you left, he was around more often." She shrugged. "He kinda grows on you." She smirked. "Dated for a few months then I left." She shrugged.

"Why? He was a good guy." Sam defended him. The more Clara talked about Brady the more jealous it made me. This guy had been with her for a while and I couldn't manage to stay with her once.

"Yeah he was... but he wanted waaaay to much from me." She laughed as she continued to play.

"How so?" Sam asked. I could tell by the way Clara talked and kept her head down she didn't want to talk about it but Sam kept pushing. I should have stopped him but I wanted to know too.

"He constantly went on about how once we graduated, we could get a house, a cat or something..." She paused. "Then we could get married and have kids." She shook her head.

"Idiot." I shook my head and she looked up at me.

"What? Why? He was planning a future..." Sam was confused. I knew exactly what Clara's problems were with that kind of future.

"Hey never asked. He just assumed." She paused. "Sam that may be what you and Jessica wanted... but that's not me." She turned to him. "Jessica wanted kids and the whole white picket fence. She was meant to be a mom but I..." She stopped when Sam looked at her. She should have stopped too. Sam pushed away from her and I stood and watched as he shook his head. "Sam that's not... I..." She didn't get to finish before he pushed away and walked off and stormed up the stairs. "Awesome." She sighed and dropped her head on the keys. A loud mix of sound echoed and I laughed a bit.

"Don't worry he'll be fine." I said taking Sam's seat.

" I should go talk to him."

"Just let him sulk for a minute." I sighed. "He'll come around."

She looked at me and sighed. "Yeah I guess... so what about you? Anything I can say to make you mad and storm away?" She sighed.

"Nope." I shook my head. She tilted her head with a smile. She turned her attention back to the piano and started playing again. She was quiet and I felt bad. "Sam thinks he can get me out of my deal." I started.

"He told me. But I don't think he knows what he is doing."

"Why?" I asked.

"Dean he's reaching for straws." She stopped playing and turned to me. "His big brother is about to die because of him and there is literally nothing he can do about it." She said coldly.

"There's nothing anyone can do about it. So why can't you and Sam let it go?" I asked shaking my head.

"Because it is physically not possible." She smiled. "He can't sit around and wait for you to die anymore then I can."

"Well it's not like I'm dying tomorrow." I defended myself.

"It's already been a month. How long do you think a year is Dean?" She smiled.

"I'm not worried about it." I smiled.

She sighed and shook her head and her eyes fell down. "That's the problem... it's really unsettling." She said.

"I just don't think about it." I shrugged.

"Well that's fine but what happens when the day comes and..." She paused.

"Cross that bridge when I get there." I smiled. " Now will you stop worrying about me and just play." I said turning her shoulders back to the piano.

" I hate you sometimes." She smiled.

"Naw you love me." I nudged her and she kept smiling. She played for a while and I just watched. When she finished one song I reached out for her hand and tried to pull her into me.

" I have to go." She smiled. " Early flight." She stood and headed for the door with her shoes in her hand.

"Clara.." I started.

"Just tell Sam I'm sorry. I'll see ya around." She turned smiling at me. It was like she was running away. Hell she even looked scared. The look in her eyes made me feel guilty. She looked scared, sad, angry and like she wanted to leave but didn't. She took one look at me and when I stood to stop her she ran to the door and slammed it. I could hear her run down the street and I sighed.


	98. Chapter 98

There is something seriously wrong with me! The whole time I sat with Dean and Sam I never stopped smiling and when Dean sat next to me at the piano my heart was pounding and my was head racing. But the minute he reached out for me I run? Someone needs to lock me in a mental institution.

I made it back to the hotel just as the sun was coming up. I packed my things, changed and headed to the airport with he team. I sat alone on the five-hour plane ride. I was shaking and all I could think about was that could have been _the_ last time I was ever going to see Dean. I made me sick to my stomach that I ran away.

"Something on your mind?" Hotch's voice came as he sat down in front of me.

"No." I answered with a sad smile. I don't know who I was fooling. He saw right through that weak smiled.

"Somethings we can't control." he said leaning on the table and closer to me. He said nothing else he just got up and rejoined Rossi.

Hotch had been one big question mark to me since my suspension was over. He wasn't has demanding. He heard me out when I had a suggestion and now he left off with that. So much confusion was on my mind I didn't even notice how short the 5 hours were.

We got off the plane and everyone headed home. When I finally did get home I wanted to call Sam or Dean to apologize but I had a feeling no one would answer so I just headed to bed. The only good thing that has come out of the last month were my nightmares had stopped. No more howling. No more demon eyes and no more voices. It was a relief to get a good nights sleep.

* * *

The next couple of months went by slowly. Sam had called a few times and we talked about Dean's deal but so far neither of us had a way out. I was even starting to give up I couldn't imagine how Dean was reacting. Actually I know exactly how he was acting; Like he hadn't a care in the world. That's what Dean does when he is scared and can't control or tell someone about it, he just hides.

The team solved cases and for the moment nothing was a big deal. Sure we had our tough cases that took a bit longer to solve but nothing we couldn't handle. That was until New York. 6 people gunned down in a random order, broad day light and we had nothing. No suspects and we were dealing with more than one.

Hotch had ordered us all to get some sleep. So I headed back to the hotel and sat in my room holding my phone. None of our team had gotten much sleep because a new body would show up every couple of hours. I was about to take a shower when my phone rang. I didn't even bother looking at the ID because... well who else would it be. "Walsh." I answered.

"Hey." I heard Dean's voice.

"Dean?" I asked slowly sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You aren't busy are you?" He asked.

"No of course not." Right now nothing mattered but Dean. "What's going on?" I asked.

"Nothing I just... I..." I don't think he thought this through.

"I'm glad you called." I helped him along. "I didn't want you to think I was running away from you and Sam... I just had a plane to catch." I said.

"I know." He said. He didn't seem like himself. He seemed like he was shaky and nervous.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"Three days." Was all he said and my heart broke a bit because of the little laugh he had at the end.

" I know." I had counted down and as much as it hurt I had to. "Me and Sam, we are still looking. We'll find something." I said with a smile holding the phone close. "No one is giving up."

I heard him sigh. "I am well aware you and Sam are looking. But you haven't found anything." He said. " So I wanted to say..."

"Oh no!" I yelled standing and suddenly felt angry. "You don't get to say goodbye on the phone!" I yelled. "That's not happening. You don't even get to say goodbye because nothing is going to happen to you Dean." I said or more like yelled. "I promise we will find something. Just don't give up."

I heard him laughed. " and if you don't?" he asked.

"That's not an option." I said smiling to myself. "Hey you told me I couldn't be mad at you and I'm not so now you gotta do me a favour and not give up before we find the right answer." I said and I heard him sigh. "You got that?" I asked no answer. " Dean!" I yelled.

"OKAY!" he yelled back with laugh. A minute of quiet went by before he spoke up again. "So what kind of evil you fighting this week?"

"Not really sure... these guys they are just poppin' people in the street..." there was a knock on the door. " Hold on." I took the phone away from my ear. "Spencer?" I asked when I opened the door and he seemed out of breath. "What is wrong?" I asked.

"Terrorist..." he breathed out. I just started at him. " Shootings... bomb..." He took on last breath. "We gotta go.." he said.

"Okay give me a second." I said. He ran back to his room to grab his gun. " Dean I gotta call you back... I don't even know what is going on." I sighed.

"Yeah terrorists don't sound all that great." He laughed. "Just don't get blown up."

"Oh very funny." I laughed. Then I hung up and met Spencer down in the lobby. It was dark and we got in our SUV and drove.

* * *

It was pure chaos when we arrived back at the New York, FBI field office. Phones ringing and people in a panic. "Thank God your alright!" Rossi rushed to us.

"Why wouldn't we be?" I asked.

" A bomb went off at Federal Plaza. Bomb was placed under a black SUV." Rossi filled us in.

"Oh my God." I said. "Where is everyone?" I asked.

"No word from Hotch or Kate." Rossi said.

"You two figure this stuff out I'm going down there." I said taking the keys from Reid.

"Wait! They won't let you through."

"Don't care. I can't just let them sit there." I said running down the stairs and into the SUV. Before I jumped in I checked under the vehicle to make sure nothing was there. I raced through traffic until it was so backed up I couldn't get anywhere. So I ran. It was only a few blocks but it was heavily blocked off. I ran right into the group of military men to find Morgan already yelling at one of the men in charge. "Morgan!" I called out and he looked at me.

"Walsh let's go." He said reaching over and pulling me.

"Sir you can not go out there." The man in charge said.

"HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP US!" I could hear Hotch yelling.

"Do you not hear that!?" I yelled at the officer in charge. "They are hurt and need help."

"Never leave a man behind you do remember that don't you!" Morgan yelled.

"This is ridiculous." I said pushing past the two men and walked straight to the barricade.

"Agent! Stop there or I will use force!" The man next to Morgan shouted and another man blocking my way pointed his gun.

"You gonna shoot me?" I said looking at the gun man and then the officer. " Go ahead. But I am getting by." I said staring back at him. "Do what you want. I've taken a few bullets I think I can handle it." I said pushing the gunman out of my way.

Morgan followed. "Hotch!" He yelled as we both ran to his side. When we came to the scene there was blood everywhere and the SUV was still on fire.

"We gotta get her out of here. She'll bleed out if we don't." Hotch sounded shaky as he looked up to Morgan.

"They aren't gonna let anyone down here. So let's carry her." I said looking down to Kate. Her eyes were closed and there was blood just leaking from her back.

We tried our best but every time Hotch tried to lift her his grip would slip. There was a kid hovering over us and he looked freaked out. " Sam you have to get back!" Hotch yelled at the young boy and I looked up at him. He backed off a bit and just as he did Morgan's phone rang.

"Hotch... the kid." Morgan said. I looked up and Sam had a smile on his face.

"Go. I'll get them out here." I said almost pushing Derek up. He took off after the kid and I was left with a badly wounded Kate and a shaky Hotch. "Alright Hotch let go." I ordered.

"What? I can't" he looked up and realizing I was still there.

"You have to. I can help her but you have to let go." I said reaching for his hands. " Arron." I said and he looked up at me. "Please?" I asked. He looked down and slowly let go of Kate's back. "Okay." I said shifting and grabbing where Hotch had let go. I had a jacket on and I ripped it off. "Take the button off and hand me it and the thread."

"what?" he asked.

"Just do it." I huffed and he took the jacket and did as I asked. He handed me the button first and I placed it where the bleeding was coming from. He then handed me the string. I was able to tie it around the button to slow the gush of blood. It was hard and slippery but I managed to to it. I let go for a second to wipe the blood on my shirt and then placed them back. Hotch just watched, he didn't look to good himself. "Okay I'll be right back. Just hold that." I said standing up and taking off toward the barricade. " one of you jar heads got a thick jacket?" I called out and one of them rushed throwing his jacket at me.

I was running back when a loud bang and the ground shattered and I went crashing to the ground. "Clara!" I heard Arron call out. I felt the sting of glass everywhere as I stood up. Another car bomb had gone off in another SUV parked just a few feet from me. I slowly pushed myself up and knew somewhere there was glass sticking where it shouldn't be. "Clara!" Hotch yelled again.

"I'm coming!" I yelled as I forced myself to my feet. I ran over to Kate's side and I could feel Hotch's eyes on me. "What ever you are staring at I don't wanna know." I begged. I couldn't feel anything and I didn't need to know what to I should be feeling. "I'm gonna wrap this around her back just so she..." I was cut off by flashing lights and a siren.

Hotch and I looked up quickly to see an ambulance parked behind us and one medic rushing out. I smiled and pulled the jacket away from Kate. "I couldn't listen to you yell anymore." He offered an explanation.

"Good because she needs your help. I tried to stop the bleeding but I.." The medic rolled her to the side.

He smiled a bit. "You used a button to stop the bleed?" he asked looking up. I shrugged with a nod. " Genius." he smiled as Hotch rushed to get the stretcher. "You don't look to good..."

"Save it. Focus on her." I stopped him. So the medic did his thing and before I knew it I was sitting next to Hotch as he drove like a mad men toward the nearest hospital. I was holding on for dear life and then he came to a stop.

"This hospital is on a strict by-pass." A man who looked like homeland security stopped us.

"What?" I asked.

"The hospital is closed." he raised his voice.

"Look I'm SSA agent Hotcher I have Agent Joiner in the back... we were in the explosion she needs help." Hotch begged.

"Credentials." The man ordered.

"Their in my jacket back at Federal Plaza... Please."

"She's crashing!" The medic in the back called out and he let us through. We were met in the emercany room by a team of doctors and nurses. I followed behind Hotch as they wheeled Kate away and then stopped us.

"Hotch." I said and he didn't answer me. "Hotch!" I almost yelled and he still didn't know I was there. I finally snapped my fingers in his face and he jerked quickly to me. "Look you need to sit down..." I said as he began to wobble. "Someone... help us!" I called as Hotch reached out for me but fell back. He crashed to the ground and I dropped beside him. I held his head as nurses rushed over. Then in the span of three seconds he passed out. I felt all his weight on my lap as his eyes closed. "Okay..." I finally felt all the pain from the glass.

"ma'am." One nurse came to me as I was pulled away from Hotch as they lifted him onto a bed. I looked over at the nurse and she tried to guide me away into another room. "You have lots of glass sticking from you... Do you not feel it?" She asked.

"Oh I feel it but there are bigger problems." I winched as she started to take the glass from my sides. Then I felt all the blood on my hands. It was no longer Kate's or Arron's it was mine. I had deep cuts on my hands that hadn't stopped bleeding. The nurse looked down at my hands and sighed. "No chance of me getting out of here quickly is there?" I asked and she shook her head as she called for help.

An hour went by and I hadn't heard anything about Hotch or Kate. The nurses were to busy peeling the glass out of my hands. A doctor came in and stitched them for me. " Your friend is going to be okay. I pulled shrapnel from his leg and his ears are blow but he'll be okay." The doctor said kindly.

"Thanks... and what about the women? Agent Joiner?" I asked.

"She is still in surgery. But I say she has a good chance because of the button you sowed to her." The doctor laughed. I smiled at him and when he was finished I headed over to see Hotch. He was just waking up and he looked confused.

"What's going on?" he asked. "Where are my clothes?" he asked sitting up quickly.

"Relax. Your clothes are coming. The team is on their way." I said making Hotch sit back. He looked up at me. " Kate is still in surgery." I said and he sighed. " But the doctors think she is going to make it." I said crossing my arms with a sigh.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be." I smiled.

"There was a second explosion... a lot of glass went flying." He said looking at me. Then he stopped at my hands. He grabbed them but all he would find were bandages.

"I caught most of it in my hands." I laughed.

"Hotch!" I heard Rossi yell. I walked out of his room to see the rest of the team behind him.

"You got his clothes?" I asked. Rossi nodded and walked over. I took the bag and smiled at him. I looked at the team and saw Morgan. " Sam?" I asked him and he shook his head. I sighed rolling my eyes. I walked back into Hotch's room and placed the bag on his bed. "Here. Change and if your up for it we will get going on these guys." I smiled and left.

* * *

We all stood around a screen watching the bomb go off again in Federal Plaza. Everyone was putting their vests on when I noticed something. " This hospital is closed." I said from the back and they all looked at me. "You were alone in the street." I was just saying sentences.

"So?" Morgan asked.

"This hospital has a bypass on it. The secret service stopped us at the door." Hotch was getting where I was going.

"Secret Service?! Who are they protecting?" Rossi asked.

"Who else was with you?" Reid asked.

"Just the medic..." Hotch stopped. That's when from the corner of my eye I saw someone head for the door. By the time I looked they were gone. "I drove the only ambulance in here..." Hotch continued. He turned to all of us then looked confused. " Where's Morgan?" he asked and I turned.

"He was just..." I paused. He was right behind me. "We went to go find the ambulance." I sighed. We all took off toward the garage. When we got there the only thing we found was the medic. He was sitting by the door with a phone and knife in his hands.

"FBI. Drop the knife." Hotch ordered but as soon as he finished the man pressed a button and then slit his throat. How he did it so quickly I will never understand. Now we were all concerned about Morgan.

I pulled out my phone and dialled his number. No answer. So I called Garcia. "Penelope where's Derek?" I asked quickly as everyone gathered around.

She sounded upset and annoyed. " He's fine." She said then hung up. We all let out a breath of relief.

"I guess that means we're done." Rossi said as he and the other headed for the exit. Hotch stood staring at the medic.

"Hotch?" I asked and shook his head. "We should go..." I started.

"Just tell everyone to go back to the hotel. I'm going to check on Kate then we are out of here." he said walking past me. He didn't even look at me and he said nothing else. I joined everyone in the parking lot and we all headed to the hotel. Just before I left the doctor told me to make sure Agent Hotchner and I didn't fly for the next few days. Well that was going to make getting back to Virginia so much better. I sighed as I packed my things. A long case was behind us and an even bigger problem was waiting for me back home.

The team headed for the airport and I waited for Hotch. He had called earlier and told everyone that Agent Joiner had died. I waited by an SUV which I checked under before getting in. Hotch came out of the FBI office with his bang in hand and he looked at me then the SUV.

"Don't worry. Already checked for explosives." I said taking his bag and placing it in the back.

He said nothing and just got in. I understood he was hurt that his friend and college was dead so I kept quiet as I drove. Two hours went by and we said nothing. Four more hours of this... My head was to busy thinking about Dean and his deal to care about time. Then my phone broke the silence. I totally forgot to call Dean back! How dumb. But it was Bobby.

"Hey Bobby." I smiled and I knew I shouldn't have answered it but he might have news. I could feel the small looks I was getting from Hotch.

"Hey Clara! Are you okay?" he asked quickly.

"Yeah... why?" I asked.

"Dean said you were on a terrorist case?" he asked.

"Yeah... But I'm fine promise." I smiled at his concern.

"good... Now I got bad news..." he trailed off.

"Please don't say you found nothing." I sighed as I tried to keep my eyes on the road.

"I'm sorry kid but... I honestly got nothing." He sounded just as mad as me.

"Well there has to be something. I'll keep looking when I get back... you do the same."

"Of course me and Sam are going crazy looking for something... but Clara." He stopped. " What if..."

"No." I stopped him. " What if is not an option. Come on Bobby. We can't just..." I paused totally forgetting Hotch was even there. "I can't just watch him die. I won't." I said. "Just keep looking."

"You got it." Bobby said and hung up.

"Damn it." I said to my self as I put my phone on the dash.

"What is it?" Hotch broke the two-hour silence.

"Nothing... just hit a wall with something." I sighed shaking my head.

"Someone is dying?" he asked turning to me. "Could I help?" he asked. I was surprised he even started talking.

"Thanks but I highly doubt it." I smiled. If he asked more I had a lie ready. Hotch just looked at me for a minute. I sighed. I knew he was waiting for more. "A friend of mine. He has this rare sickness and it's going to kill him but his brother and I think there is a cure out there. We just haven't found it yet." I said.

"I'm sorry about your friend." He said with a sigh and a sad nod.

"I'm sorry about agent Joiner." I said. " I'm sorry I couldn't help more."

"Not your fault. She was bleeding out long before you or Morgan showed up." he said looking out the window. "Thank you by the way." he said.

"For what?" I asked.

"Helping." He said. "I'm sure it made a difference that you were there." He nodded. "But you can't save everyone." I almost slammed on the brakes. Just the way and when Hotch said that he sounded just like the boys or John. I looked back over at him but he never looked back. We drove quietly for the next couple of hours.

When we finally got back the BAU the sun was slowly setting. "You should head home. We all deserve a few days off after that case." Hotch said.

"I will after I fill out the paper work... I'm getting pain extra for this." I shook my hands up and he smirked. We both headed in and when we got to the BAU floor most of the agents were gone. Hotch walked quickly to his office but when he got to the door he had two visitors. When I saw who they were I was soooo confused!

"Ellen? Jo?" He said as they smiled at him. " What are you doing here?"

"What you think we don't read the newspaper?" Ellen smiled. "I see you got yourself blown around."

"Are you okay?" Jo asked. Hotch looked around and when he noticed me just staring at him with confusion he led them into his office.

I waited at my desk for a few hours before Ellen and Jo came out. Each gave Hotch a hug and headed down the stairs. "Okay.. what the hell?" I asked cutting them off.

"Clara!" Ellen smiled pulling me into her arms. Hotch was standing at his desk on the phone.

"You were just in my bosses office..." I pointed out. They both nodded. "why?" I asked.

"Well umm I think he should explain that... not really our place." Ellen sighed. "How are you by the way?" she asked.

"I'm fine. Healed quickly... but I guess now more to heal." I showered her my hands.

"Jesus..." She said. "How did you manage that?"

"Well I was hepling Hotch get another agent out of the blast zone when another bomb went off... managed to pick up every shard of glass." I rolled my eyes with a sigh.

"Wow..." Jo sighed. "That sucks."

"You have no idea. I think my body is getting tired of healing." I laughed and so did Jo. "hey have you heard from the boys at all?" I asked Ellen.

"Not really? Why?" She asked.

"No reason. Just asking... okay I this is bugging me. I gotta know." I said. "I'll call you later Ellen... but I need answers." I said. Both women smiled and moved out of my way. I rushed up the stairs and into Hotch's office. I didn't even knock. "Okay... how do you know those two?" I asked.

Hotch hung his phone up after my question was finished. He looked up. " Their family." He shrugged.

"No nah ah." I said shaking my head. "You have acted very strange ever since I got back... so let's hear it..." I said.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"You stopped questioning everything I do, you left me at that Gala for no reason and the other day you just said something we can't control... you never give me advice... so what the hell?" I asked. "And for the love of God don't lie or play dumb. Just out with it." I said.

"See that mat." Hotch pointed to. "Lift it." He said. The mat was just in front of the door. I walked over still looking back at Hotch. I bent over and lifted the mat. When I pulled it up at first all I saw was red paint but the more I pulled up, what I found almost made me fall back. "Your not the only one here who knows a thing or two." He said.

Under the mat in Supervisory Special Agent Arron Hotchner's office was a **devils trap**.


	99. Chapter 99

"What the hell is that?" I asked throwing the mat back down.

"That's a devils-"

"I know what it is!" I stopped him. "So you..." I paused.

"Used to be." He corrected.

"Since when?" I asked.

"Since I can remember." Hotch shrugged.

"Who taught you?" I asked.

"Mother and father. You?" he asked sitting down.

"My dad..." I paused looking around. "When did you stop?"

"Well I stopped going out in the field when me and Hailey got married." He said. "But I still have my network. When I find a case I forward it." He said. "That's how I met Ellen and Jo. She used to forward jobs to me and my family." He spoke and I still couldn't believe it. I just stared at him with wide eyes. "When Jo was born Ellen made me her Godfather. I wasn't thrilled to hear she had gotten into the business as well but you can't tell that girl what to do." He just kept talking. "Then I met the Winchesters." He said and I finally blinked. "They have certainly made a name for themselves." Hotch smirked a bit.

He was quiet for a second. "Your a hunter." Was all I could say. Hotch shrugged with a nod. "Arron Hotchner... is a hunter." I said sitting down in the chair closest to me. "Well... I gotta say, I would have never guess." I smiled back at him. "wow... I didn't see that coming." I said looking down. "How did your parents even get into all this?" I asked.

"How does any hunter get into the business." He said walking over and sitting the chair across from me. "Revenge mostly, but then it became more like a mission." He shrugged. "I wasn't even born yet. I had an older sister that was taken... My parents were very keen on finding her. They were young so they believed anything." He said. This the first time ever Hotch ever told me anything about himself. "Sooner or later a lot of pieces fit... Vampires."

"Jesus." I whispered out. "I'm sorry." I said.

"Before my time." he shrugged it off. " But they were obsessed with find each one of those blood suckers and putting them down. Taught me and my brother the same things." He sighed.

"Your brother?" I asked. I didn't even know he had one!

"Sean. He didn't take to the hunter life style like most people. He only saw it as defence and not something to build a life on."

"Smart boy." I smiled. "Did your parents ever find the Vamp that killer your sister?" I asked.

"They did... But it didn't stop after that. They went out on to many hunts to count and once they were injured badly enough they just stopped." He shrugged. "Died of old age."

"No way? Seriously?" I smiled. "I've never heard of that. Hunters dying of old age..." I trailed off. "That's new." I smiled.

"Alright. Now your turn. I know the life story you gave the team was bullshit so truth?" He asked.

"Only seems fair I guess." I shrugged. "Well my father always told me that my mother and brother died in child-birth but I'm not to sure about that. But I can't confront him about it so that part is a mystery. I just remember my dad suddenly developing a drinking problem and he would disappear for a few days at a time. I didn't even know what the word hunter was until I was 16." I sighed.

"How did he die?" Hotch asked.

"When I was 6 I was dying and my dad made a deal with a crossroads demon... His soul for my life." I sighed looking down. "Hellhound ripped him apart in front of me."

"How did you get out?" He asked.

"John Winchester." I smiled. "He pulled me from that house. He and his boys taught me everything I know. Just did what I knew until I graduated high school. I wanted a normal life. Harder then it looks."

"Tell me about it." Hotch nodded. "How did you get dragged back in?" He asked. I hadn't told him that yet. How did he know. That's the look I gave him, How did you know that. "Dean called me a few months ago and told me you were hurt but in good hands. I just happened to be talking to Bobby Singer just before he called. I knew where they were. I didn't know you were there. until I got Dean's call."

"You were talking to Bobby?" I asked. "You do that often?" I asked.

"Before you get mad at him, I asked him not to tell you about me. Same with Sam and Dean. When I showed up at the hospital he was nervous I was going to arrest him but I told him I wasn't." Hotch shrugged again.

"You were at the hospital?" I asked and he nodded. " Well then you saw the lovely work that demon did then?" I asked and Hotch nodded again. "Demons are so..." I paused. "Annoying." Was all I could think of. "They all have different plans and an end game.

"So I hear." He said. " Dean filled me in on what happened."

"Everything?" I asked.

"Well the highlights..." Hotch smirked.

Then a thought popped into my head. "Wait... you hand cases off to other hunters... so I imagine you do research for them when you can?" I asked.

"On occasion." Hotch said.

"Have you ever come across crossroad demons?" I asked.

"Worked one case a while back but not really why?"

"Is there a way out of the deals people make?" I asked.

"I...why?" He asked squinting his eyes. " Clara did you.."

"No! Not me." I laughed a bit. Then my smile was gone. " Before I ended up in the hospital Sam went missing and Dean was getting everyone he knew to look for him. Just so happens I found hims first. The demon that had killed their mother and father was gathering these special children in an abandoned town. Kinda like a death match. Only one lives and gets to be king." I explained. "This kid... Jake. He stabbed Sam in the back. I shot him but he still got away. I tried to get to Sam on time but Jake had cut right through the spinal cord... Sam died right there in Dean's arms."

"But I saw him at the hospital... oh..." Hotch realized.

"He sold his soul for his brother. Dean is a good guy and doesn't deserve to go to Hell." I smiled a bit. "We have been trying like crazy to find something to save him... but so far..." I stopped feeling my eye burn. "He's only got a few days left..."

" I though it was ten years?" Hotch asked.

"Ya... apparently Winchester souls are valuable and in high demand." I sighed still looking down. "A few more days and he is going to be puppy chow." I said standing up throwing my arms. " And I have NO idea how to fix it!" I said facing the window.

"Why do you feel you are the one who has to fix it?" Hotch asked.

"Because." I said with a sigh. "I have to." I said turning around to Hotch. "If Haliey and Jack were in the his place, wouldn't you do the same?" I asked and Hotch nodded.

"Well then go find the answer." He said as he stood walking over to the mat and replacing it. "Go home. Get some sleep, and then go find Bobby. If anyone will find an answer it would be you two." Hotch opened the door for me. "Good luck." He smiled at me. That was the first time in like forever Hotch has ever smiled at me.

"Thank you." I said as I headed for the door. I left the BAU with confusion and determination. The whole walk to my car was spend googling just about everything about Hellhouds. Then when I reached my apartment I just kept reading. I was walking up the stairs I was so focused on my phone that I didn't even noticed the person sitting next to my door.


	100. Chapter 100

I heard Clara walking up the stairs. I had waited for a while and when I heard her voice my head popped up. She was typing on her phone then she stopped and gave her phone an odd look. "I'm searching demonic dogs goggle. Not freaking nice vacation spots." She shook her head. I smiled at her little burst of anger. "Useless technology." She rolled her eyes. She hadn't realized I was sitting beside her door yet. She reached for her keys and that's when I saw the white bandages around her hands that were turning red. "Damn it." She swore.

"What happened?" I asked and Clara jumped.

"Holy crap Dean." She let out a breath. She looked around quickly. "What are you doing here?" I asked. She walked closer and I stood. She opened the door.

"What happened to your hands?" I asked once she stepped in.

"Uh.. glass." She smiled a bit. I followed her inside. She closed the door throwing her stuff to the ground. "Where's Sam?" I asked.

"Um with Bobby." I answered looking around her apartment. She had books all around her table and some piled on the floor and a laptop open with papers scattered.

"Shouldn't you be with them?" She asked walking to the bathroom. She came back out with a roll of bandages. I didn't answer as she re-bandaged her hands. "Dean?" She asked but my mind was somewhere else. "Dean what's wrong?" She asked.

"I'm gonna die!" I yelled for no reason as she walked closer to me. She jumped a bit and I turned to face her. She looked hurt and surprised. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to..." I sighed sinking into the couch with my head in my hands.

"That's okay." She said as she ran over to me and sat next to me. "But Dean we still have time..."

"48 hours." I interrupted her. "We had all year to find something and what makes you think we will find it now?" I asked and her smile fell. I wasn't fooling anyone, I was a mess.

"I don't know. I just have faith." She shrugged.

"Faith?" I laughed.

"Yeah." She nodded. I didn't know what else to say. I just looked down and dropped my head into my hands again. I heard her sigh. "I'm sorry." I felt her hand on my shoulder. "I'm trying..." She said quietly.

"My own fault." I laughed.

"But you were doing what you thought was right." She said moving her hand away. "All heroes come across bumps in the road." She said and I looked up at her. She had so much faith in me and Sam. It was rediculoius. I was about to say something when my vision started to get blurry. I shook my head and looked around. " Dean? You okay?" Clara asked. "Dean?" Her voice changed. It was deeper and creepy. I finally looked over at Clara's face was shifting. It was one of the most horrifying things i have ever seen. Without hesitation I reached out and grabbed her face with both my hands. Then the shifting stopped. Her eyes were just wide. Her hands shot up to mine and she just looked back at me. "What is it?"

I didn't move my hands. I kept a firm hold on her and I never wanted to let go. "I..." I paused.

* * *

Dean's hands were shaky as he held on to my face on both sides. He looked scared and I was concerned. He started to talk but he stopped. His eyes were fixed on mine. "I have to go... Sam and Bobby..." he paused not looking away. " I want you to stay here okay?" he asked.

"What?"

"I don't want you to follow me. No matter what do no come looking for me and Sam." He said.

"Why? Dean if you have a plan I want to help."

"No." He said closing his eyes. "I can't have you in danger too." he sighed and my heart stopped a bit. "This isn't going to end well and no matter what happens I need you to promise you won't try to fix it." he said shaking a bit more.

"Dean your scaring me." I said and his eyes got sad.

"Clara..." he paused. "If I really am going to die.."

"But you're not.."

"Just let me." He stopped me as he dropped his hands and held my hands. "Watch out for Sammy okay?" he asked his eyes starting to get a bit. "And..."

"Wait..." I stopped him. "You can't do this." I shook my head with a smile. " You can't say goodbye. I should smack you for even thinking it..." I laughed.

"Can you just let me finish..." He begged.

"NO." I shook my head with anger and he looked confused. " You don't get to do that." I shook my head pulling away from him. That's when my eyes started to burn. I couldn't control the tears anymore. I had lost all that will power. A few fell before I said anything else. "I can't. I can't say goodbye. and I won't." I smiled.

Dean sighed. "Okay..." he smiled at me.

"Good." I smiled. " Now you want a drink?"

"No...I came to say goodbye but seeing as you won't heard it then I have to go..." He sighed. He leaned in and kissed my forehead. He stood without another word.

"I'll see you." I said as he opened the door. Dean turned around and smiled at me. I have never seen such a sad and unsure smile.

* * *

**Okay there is one more chapter after this... now I warn you it may hurt those Dean girls out there but you should I know I cried while writing... NOw! I'm going to make this into a second part because there are so many season and I tend to go through them all ;) I got so many ideas... It will just be called part two. Please keep review and reading because I love hearing from you all! Thanks xo**


	101. Chapter 101

That night I couldn't sleep. I was up trying my best to find anything to help. But I found nothing. I tried calling Bobby and I tried calling Sam but no one would answer me. I had fallen asleep only for a minute and missed a call. When I saw it was from Dean I panicked.

"Clara..." He sounded sad. "You wouldn't hear it last night so you'll have to listen now." I heard him sigh. "Look you're the only one as ever had the same faith in me as you have. Not even my dad." he laughed. "You think so highly of me and I don't even know why..." why was he doubting himself now? I wanted to scream at him but it was only a message. "I don't see a way out of this and... well... I have to say it or I'll regret it." He paused and I heard the deep breath. "I've known this since I was like 18 and never had the nerve to just come out and say it... but well when you're staring down the barell of a gun you find courage you didn't know you had." He laughed. "I have a knack for running and I'm sorry I ran from you. One of the worst mistakes I've made was running from you because..." Then I could just hear the smile on his face slowly fading. "Well because I love you... and I'm sorry." Then the message was over.

I almost fell over myself as I ran to the door. 24 hours. That's all he had and that's the last thing Dean said... I needed to help and tell him the same. I couldn't just let him die. So I drove as fast as I could to Bobby. He was just sitting at his desk with a bottle of whiskey in his hands. I ran through the door and he just looked up at me.

"I'm not going to tell you." He said in a rough tone.

"Bobby..." I walked over slowly. "Please. I need to know where they are. I need to help."

"No." Bobby shook his head. "I'm not sending you into that. Demons scattered everywhere and hellhounds ready to jump... no way." Bobby stood taking the bottle with him.

"Bobby please..." I begged.

"No!" he yelled turning quickly. "I won't lose you too!" Bobby yelled. Bobby never yells unless something is really wrong.

"You sent on their way... they don't have a plan do they?" I asked walking closer to him.

"They have a plan... kill Lilith."

"Who?"

"The demon who holds Dean's contract..."

"Which runs out in 14 hours! Bobby please!" I ran over and grabbed his shoulders. "Please just tell me where Dean is..."

"Why!" Bobby pushed away.

"because I love him!" I yelled and Bobby's eyes got wide and scared.

"New Harmony, Indiana." Bobby sighed. " But that's 13 hours from here."

"Doesn't matter. I'll make it." I said.

"Be careful." Bobby begged

I managed to get the name of the town, street and house number from Bobby a lot quicker. I hugged Bobby tightly and promised him everything would be alright. When I left I drove quickly. I needed to make it to that house before anything happened. I may not have had a plan but when I got there I'm sure my instinct would take over.

The lack of sleep wasn't even reaching me. I drove for 13 hours not stopping for anything. When I finally arrived the sun was gone and I could hear voices. "Dean! I'm not going to let you go to hell!" I heard Sam yell. I walked up to the door and opened it.

"Yes you are!" Dean yelled. "Because what ever you're doing it isn't going to save me..." Dean said I could hear the pain in his voice.

"What am I supposed to do?" Sam asked. I walked into the house hearing the painful conversation. Then I heard the distant growling. I spun around but saw nothing.

"You just keep fighting. You remember what Dad taught you and you remember what I taught you." The boys continued their conversation. 5 minutes. "You take care of my wheels... and Clara." I paused when I heard my name. Then the sound of the clock striking midnight. Then the howling got closer.

I slowly turned around and I could see it. It was big, black and evil-looking. It's eyes were staring right at me. I slowly backed up. "Oh god..." I stuttered out.

"Clara?" Dean's voice came from behind me. "What the hell are you doing here!" He yelled at me.

"How about you run and not yell at me!" I yelled back.

"What is it?" Sam asked.

"Hellhound..." Dean said. "Clara walk faster..."

"No. Run... it's looking at me not you..." I said no one moved. I looked back. " Run!" I yelled.

Before Dean could move the hound barked and started at me. Sam pushed Dean and the women into another room. "No!" Dean called out as the women shut the door.I smiled at the door growling at me. He was walking closer and then it jumped. I moved just in time for it to crash into the wall. It reached out a paw and scratched me in the face. I called out in pain. "Clara!" Dean and Sam yelled out.

"You got something to keep that dog away!" I called.

"Yeah!" Sam called.

"Great! Open the door when I say so!" I demanded. The hound was getting back onto it's feet when he howled at me. It came charging and I ran one way and in one swift motion I switched my direction. When I reached the door. "Now!" I yelled out and the door opened and I was basically pulled in by the hounds crash into the doors. I rolled onto the ground and crashed into a chair. "Well that was fun." I coughed out.

The hound was pounding on the door and then it stopped. Dean and Sam turned to me as I was getting up. "What is the matter with you!" Dean yelled.

I sighed putting a hand to my cheek feeling the gash on it. "Oh come on... I don't get props for distracting the hound of hell!" I said throwing my arms up.

"Sam! Give me the knife! I can fight it off." The blonde behind Sam yelled out. Who was she? There were so many pieces I was missing.

"Sam?" Dean turned before looking at me with scared eyes. "That's not Ruby." He moved back putting his arm across of me. Then the women he called Rudy smiled and threw Sam against the wall and Dean went flying back onto the table. I fell back into the corner. "How long you been in her?" Dean asked.

"Long enough... I like her... she's all grown up and pretty." The women smiled and her eyes turned grey. Sam struggled with his hold and looked to Dean. "But not however as pretty as you..." Rudy looked to me. "It's so nice to finally meet you Clara." She smiled.

"Stay away from her you bitch." Dean warned. "I should have seen it before.. but you all look the same to me." Dean said. Ruby's eyes were still on my as Dean spoke.

"I see my puppy made a nice impression." She smiled at me. "I could fix that you know." She smiled then stood and turned to Sam. "Hello Sam." She said. " I've wanted to meet you for a very long time.." She smiled as she leaned in and kissed him. "Your lips are soft." I rolled my eyes. Demons, so creepy.

"Alright so you have me. So let my brother go." Sam said moving his head away from her.

"Aw to bargen you must have something I want... and _you_ don't." She shook her head.

"That's the plan? Drag me to hell and kill Sam.. become queen bitch!" Dean yelled.

"Well with the guard dog out of the way I can take the thing they are protecting." She smiled looking over at me. "See once these two are gone... You're all mine." She smiled.

"What!" I yelled trying to get up but she pushed m back down.

"Why her!" Dean yelled.

" I don't have to answer to puppy chow!" Ruby smiled. Then she walked over to the door and stopped at the knob.

"Wait.." I begged.

"Sickem' boy..." She laughed out as she opened the door. Then I saw the hound run through and grab Dean off the table. She was laughing and Sam and I watched in horror as Dean started to get ripped apart.

"NO! Stop it!" Sam begged.

"Stop! NO!" I yelled back.

All I could hear where Dean's cries of pain. My eyes wouldn't close and I watched as he tried to craw away. I pushed as hard as I could and somehow I got loose of the demon's grip. I reached into my jeans and took out my gun and started firing. The hound was tearing at Dean's chest and he called out one more time. The hound yelled and then stopped. I watched as it fell.

"Dean!" I yelled out.

"NO!" Sam yelled as I crawled over and hovered over him. His eyes were so wide and they were just staring at me. I was focused on Dean and didn't even see what was going on with Sam. Dean was barley moving.

"No.. No... Come on. You'll be okay." I said as tear just started falling.

"I... I told... you not to..." he said putting a hand on mine as I tried to cover his wounds, but there were so many of them. Before I could blink I was covered in his blood. "why?" he asked.

"Because..." I smiled. " Because I love you too you idiot." I laughed as the tears just streamed from my eyes. It looked like he smiled but then he just stopped moving all together. There was a flash of light then a cloud of smoke. Ruby's body fell and Sam walked over. "Dean..." I said shaking him trying to wake him up. "Dean..." I said my voice cracking.

Sam walked over and fell to his knees. Sam lightly pushed me away and I moved quickly. "no.." Sam barley whispered. Sam knelt beside his big brother's body and picked him up. Dean's eyes were still open and just staring past Sam. Tears began to fall from Sam and he was shaking. I rushed over to his side and threw my arms around his shoulders. "Dean..." he said as his head crashed into my shoulder. I held Sam as he held Dean. He was shaking like a little kid and he was sobbing. My heart was completely broken.

Nothing. That's what I remember thinking. I couldn't think of anything. Nothing to say, nothing to do and just nothing. After Sam had lifted his head from my shoulder he looked at me oddly. It was sadness, it was anger. Not anger about Dean but like he was mad at me. He pushed away from me. He struggled to pick Dean up. I tried to help but all I got was an angry look. I followed Sam out of the house still soaked in Dean's blood. I couldn't speak.

Sam placed Dean's body in he Impala's back seat and got in the driver's side. He waited a minute and I jumped in. "Sam..." I started as he drove. He stepped on the brakes. "Sam where are we going?" I asked.

"To bury my brother." He said through his teeth.

"Okay." I nodded and just let him drive. He pulled over and started digging. I didn't want to look in the back. "I'm sorry.." My voice cracked and the tears came streaming again. "I tried... I'm sorry." I started shaking. Sam opened the door and I got out quickly trying to hide the tears. Every time they fell, they soaked into my cuts and it burned but I didn't care. Sam placed Dean's body in the hole he had made and started to cover it up. A few tears started falling and I helped by pushing the dirt over Dean. My chest was aching and it hurt to say goodbye.

Sam and I stood in front of the gave and I fashioned a cross out of twigs and planted it. Sam watched as I slowly stood up. I walked over and stood next to him. He said nothing his eyes were just fixed on the grave. I reached out for Sam's hand and when I grabbed it his grip got tight and his eyes shut.

"What do I do now..." He whispered. Before I could answer he turned to me and pulled me in. He hugged me for a while and didn't let go. I wrapped my arms around him and I could feel his shaky breaths.

"You do what you have to." I said into his chest and he sighed.

"Your not going to talk me out of it?"

"No." I shook my head as Sam pulled away. " You do what ever you need to do just don't get hurt." I said placing a hand on his cheek. "And don't forget about me." I smiled. "Just call every once and a while to let me know your okay... okay?" I asked. Sam nodded and hugged me again. "I'm sorry..." was all I could saw before Sam got back in the Impala and left.

We were only a few miles from that house so I didn't even care Sam left. I turned back around to the grave and just sank to the ground. I sat for a minute just thinking about everything that was going to happen to Dean, Me and Sam.

"We'll get you back." I said. I was really hoping to get answer but all I heard were my own cries. I sat alone in the dark for a couple of hours before I could get back up and walk.

I had no idea where I was going I just drove. I wasn't paying attention to what town or city or the speed limit. But somehow I ended up in front of the BAU. I had forgotten what I looked like. I just got out of the car and walked into the building. It was late and no one was around.

"Oh my God!" Morgan's voice registered but I didn't acknowledge him. "Clara what happened?" He asked following me. I guess have a gash on your face and covered in someone else blood is not a good thing. I walked past Morgan and up the steps to Arron's office.

I walked into Arron's office and shut the door on Morgan. Hotch was at his desk and looked up and almost jumped away from the chair. "Jesus... Clara what happened..." he said looking me up at down.

I couldn't speak right away I just stood there looking at him. "I... I um... I couldn't help." I said my eyes getting teary again but nothing fell.

"What happened to your face?" Arron asked walking over.

"Hel...Hellhound." I sighed. "I could see it..."

"You saw it?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah... it was big... and just... evil." I sighed.

"Okay... calm down..." He said putting a hand on my shoulder. I didn't even realize I was shaking.

"I..." I paused looking at him. " I quit..." I said and his face fell a bit.

"You what?" he asked taking a step back.

"I quit... I have something more important to do.." I said taking a step away from him.

"You take the time you need and your job will be waiting for you." he said as I headed for the door. "I know what's going through your mind.. but Clara just be careful." He warned.

I nodded and opened the door. Morgan was still standing outside and asked me again what happened. I didn't answer I just smiled and left the building. I headed back to my car and my apartment. I sat in my dark living room for a minute before I started to recall everything that had just happened. Anything within arms distance was thrown to the wall. I screamed out in pain and anger as glass, wood and anything else I could reach was thrown. After that I didn't bother cleaning up I grabbed all my clothes, my picture frame, and every weapon I owned and threw it into my car. I took off quickly and left everything behind.

* * *

**Well there you have it... a heartbreaking end for a heartbroken family. I promise things will get beter just give it time. Stay tuned for part two! Please review if you like! **


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